Nothing Short of Perfect
by Morggy
Summary: All-Human/OOC. Sookie and Eric had been together for 9 years, just when it all falls apart something happens to make sure they can t say goodbye. Yes I m talking diapers.
1. Chapter 1

**Nothing Short of Perfect**

**A/N**: (Updated 11/27/12) Drama and romance mostly. If you don't like drama this is not for you. I tend to get bored when _nothing_ happens to bring conflict into a story, so that's how I roll. I am updating my chapters though, and keeping all my annoying little notes to my profiles from now on. So if you care to read my thoughts, you should check them there.

NO BETA for now. English is not my native language I apologize for anything too unforgivable ahead.

It all belongs to Charlaine Harris and HBO.

**SPOV**

As soon as I pulled up in front of my apartment building, the car door was being opened for me. I looked up and smiled at Lafayette as I undid my seatbelt.

"Thank you, Laf."

"Let me help you, mamma," Lafayette said as he grasped my hand to help me out of my seat.

The fun thing about being as pregnant as I was – was that people were suddenly so solicitous. Not that Lafayette had ever been unkind to me before. But before I would have had to park my own car and that could be a chore. As it was, I let my car keys fall into his hands with a smile.

"Don't you look elegant today, Mrs. Northman?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, taking in my nice ensemble. It was a black silk button up shirt and a dark grey skirt, waist lined just under my bosom to properly embrace and proudly display my growing bump. I was holding my high heels on my left hand and currently wearing flats so I could drive… and generally walk. "Important day?" he asked.

"Actually yes," I said as I moved to get a large paper bag from the back seat, along with my purse. "I signed up for another year with WVN!"

Television hadn't been my first choice as a journalist, but with the recent life-changing aspects of my life, it made more sense to go for the more grounded, best-paying option. WVN was committed to improving their standing with the internet users and for that they needed to invest in people who could actually write and check facts for a change. Their news website while popular for its user-friendliness had been harshly criticized (and rightly so) for the lack of professionalism of their editorial team. That's where someone with my background came in handy.

"Congratulations!" Lafayette said sincerely. "You deserve good things."

"That I do," I said slinging my purse strap over my shoulder. "Thanks for doing this, Laf."

Lafayette waved me away. "It's nothing. That parking lot is a nightmare. Go on up and let me handle this."

I kissed him on the cheek and started making my way to the lobby. Lafayette was my downstairs neighbor and we had got on like a house on fire. He became my buffer and my rebound guy rolled into one, even if he was gay. He kept me together and constantly reminded me I couldn't fall apart because I had a tiny person in me who wasn't at fault and deserved to come into this world to a breathing, functional and sane mom.

After the last time Eric left, I would spend a lot of time hanging out with Laf and his boyfriend Alejandro and they were with me when I took my pregnancy test at 2 am in the morning after a lot of crying and barfing and misery. I don't know where I would have been without them.

Certainly not a healthy, 5-month-pregnant journalist with a one-year contract with WVN's Web Editorial Team.

I made it half-way across to the elevators feeling warm with gratitude and I was just reaching for the elevator button when the doors suddenly dinged open revealing Alcide Herveaux standing there. In all his glory, brown jacket, jeans, boots, curly dark hair and stubble on his beautifully masculine face. His brown eyes twinkled and his lips curled into an easy smile when he saw me.

"Sookie Stackhouse!"

"Are you stalking me again?" I teased as I stepped back so he could get out of the elevator.

"You gave me the keys to your apartment," he said dangling said keys in front of my eyes.

"Yes, that was clearly a mistake!" I said as I tried to grab them but he lifted them away out of my reach which was easy considering our height differences. "Not fair!" I whined.

Alcide grinned and pocketed my keys again, grinning even wider when my eyes narrowed.

"Truck's out front, Jason sent you all the stuff you asked him." He explained. "I am bringing everything up for you."

My face fell immediately and I felt like kissing him, but stopped myself. I settled for a grateful smile.

"You're incredible," I told him.

"And don't you forget it," he winked. "Go ahead and up, I'll be bringing the rocking-chair next."

"There's a rocking-chair?" I gasped staring at his retreating back.

"No mom should be without it!" he said as he made it to the door.

Thirty minutes later I was in the baby's future room with Alcide and Lafayette, unpacking everything. Amy, my brother Jason's girlfriend, worked in an antique furniture shop in New Orleans and she had sent me a catalogue of some beautiful and affordable nursery items they had in store. The crib alone was a beauty and the rocking-chair, which I hadn't picked at all, was perfect. It had been a gift from Jason and Amy. The dresser was spacious and lovely, the basinet and washing basin were part of a set.

"Wow…" I said as I watched Lafayette and Alcide trying to position things as I wanted them. "This is really happening; I'm really having a baby."

Lafayette looked over his shoulder. "You alright there?"

I nodded absent mindedly. "It's just… it's so real."

I fought the urge to cry. I should be happy. I was happy! But at the same time, my heart clenched in my chest in such a painful way I couldn't breathe. I knew why. It was because as elated as I was with being a mom – I really wished I didn't have to do all this alone.

"Hey, it's OK," Alcide was suddenly here, rubbing my shoulders and tucking me into his arms. I sighed and breathed into his shirt as the first tears fell. I liked the way it felt, engulfed against his giant body, feeling so warm and protected – it was so like what it felt like when Eric held me. Oh no, not a safe trail of thought – it just made me cry harder. "Sshhh, it's OK, Sook."

"Come on mamma, a test drive will make you feel better," Lafayette said gently and I looked up from the crook of Alcide's neck to watch as Lafayette scooted the rocking-chair under the window and smiled at me.

I smiled and sniffed as Alcide reluctantly let go of me and I walked up to the chair, admiring the wood-work a little before turning around and sliding onto it. I leaned back and sighed, setting it to rock slowly while my hands slid over my bump.

"It feels nice."

"Just think, four months from now you'll be holding your baby in your arms."

I nodded and smiled at my friends, gratitude swelling inside me again. "Thank you both."

"You're welcome," Lafayette smiled. "Now we'll be heading out. You're tired I can see. Come on Alcide, momma Sook needs some alone time with her nursery."

Alcide looked a bit reluctant to leave but nodded and walked to me, leaning over to kiss my temple before walking out the door. Lafayette cocked his nicely penciled eyebrows at me behind his back and made a fanning-himself gesture with his hand that made me laugh.

"See you neighbor."

"Thank you Lafayette. Maybe we could do dinner?"

"Sure thing!"

I waited until I heard the click of the front door closing shut and then I truly let it go. I slumped down in my seat and had at it – I sobbed like a little girl and I had no shame. I deserved a good cry – I had been pretty strong.

I needed a nap, but I didn't want to go to our room, so I sat there instead, stroking my bump while the tears subsided. I looked at my purse hanging from the crib and my mouth felt suddenly dry. Inside there was a copy of the last ultrasound – the one that revealed I was going to have a little boy. I hadn't told anyone yet. The evidence had been sitting in my purse for three days and I hadn't had the nerve to tell anyone yet. It didn't feel right that others would know first. I hadn't even told his sister.

Pam had been pretty awesome. Better a sister-in-law than she had ever been when things were fine.

I met Eric when he was vacationing back home from his first long-period volunteering with the Doctor Without Borders program. Pam was my Chief Editor at the time and I had been working with her for a little over three months. She was a good boss, if a little on the bitchy side. I knew _of_ Eric as all of other Pam's female co-workers loved to gush about him by the water cooler, and she had a picture of the two of them at the airport sitting on her desk. He was as strikingly beautiful as Pam. Very tall, very blonde, I couldn't see his eyes because he wore sunglasses, but he had nice smile and a dimple on his chin, like those handsome strangers in novels were expected to have.

That one picture didn't do him justice – not by a long shot. It was when his family threw one of their famous charity brunches that I finally got to meet the man in the flesh. Outside by the pool of one of the newest hotels in New Orleans, during a beautifully sunny day, I fell in love with a super-hero. How else would you describe a 6'4 tower of a man who spent most of the year saving lives in faraway places? That was how Eric had always been described to me – like a Viking equivalent of Superman. So I was expecting to be impressed – what I wasn't expecting was that I would be so quick to fall for him.

I could remember as if it had happened today. I was standing in a circle with Pam, Arlene and Isabel, between flowerbeds and the pool when I saw him walking towards us at a leisure pace, hands shoved inside the pockets of his khaki pants. His white button-up shirt had rolled up sleeves and the top button was undone, showing off his tanned skin. He was muscular but not overly so. His eyes were several shades of blue rolled into one and he smiled easily as he approached, looking down momentarily, as if being under the sudden scrutiny of three women who weren't his sister made him self-conscious.

Pam made the introductions and as his eyes found mine and his large hand enveloped mine and he said my name in that silky voice of his I knew I was so fucked. _Hello Sookie Stackhouse, meet the man who will be staring in your wet dreams from now on._

I never bought the idea of fairy tales – so I guess I should have known better. I should have known the fact I heard corny music in my brain as I talked to him that that was a bad sign. No matter how perfect you think someone is, it doesn't mean they'll make your life perfect. I wish I had understood that back then.

Arlene had once said you should never marry a man whose first wife is his job. I should have listened to her – after all she had been divorced three times, she obviously knew what she was talking about.

I guess I was just so in love and so in awe of the fact he seemed to love me back that I didn't think that far ahead. But then again, who does? There's no point in second guessing yourself. What is done is done and the end result was now five-months old inside me. Everything else was just collateral damage.

There had been good times. For a while, I had been so proud. My husband was so special. All our friends told me again and again how understanding I was of what doing his job entailed. I guess after my miscarriage, I stopped feeling so understanding. I felt a little too sorry for myself, and everything went downhill from there.

Pregnancy number two had terrible timing, but I was willing to be grateful and accepting of whatever fate threw my way. Maybe my marriage was over, but a baby as a parting gift had been rather sweet.

The phone rang, dragging me out of my inner-ramblings. I pushed myself up and shuffled onto the living room. Who called house-phones anyway?

"Hello?"

"_Sookie? It's Pam._"

"Hi Pam! I was just… thinking about you."

"_How are you today?"_

"Uhm… good. I'm great actually. Why?"

There was a sigh at the other end of the line.

"_Eric called. He's flying in tomorrow. I thought you'd like to know._"

My heart clenched again.

"Oh…" I swallowed. "Is… is he OK? I didn't think he'd be coming before his time was up"

"_I guess the divorce papers threw a wrench in his schedule, Sookie._" Pam said with an accusing voice.

"Ah…" was all I could say.

"_Sookie…_" Pam paused and took a deep breath – I could feel the hurt in her voice. He was her brother after all. "_Why didn't you tell me?_"

"I didn't tell a lot of people Pam. This is between Eric and me." I tried to keep the tears from my voice. I didn't want to cry – those damn hormones.

"_He asked me if he could crash here so I assumed you two weren't even talking about this._"

"Well… he didn't tell me he was coming." I took a deep breath. "But it's probably best if he stays with you."

There was an exasperated grunt. "_I want to bash your heads together, you know that?_"

I chuckled, trying to lighten up. "Hey, I'm carrying your nephew, let's be nice to the mommy."

There was a rather long pause. "_Is… is it a boy?_"

Oops…

"Uhm… yeah…. Yes it is. I have an ultrasound picture and everything." I thought for a minute. "Don't tell Eric!"

"_Well I hope you will then!_" the accusing tone was back.

"Of course I will," I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see it. "Listen Pam… I gotta go. I just got home and unpacked my nursery; I need a bath and some food."

"_Fine… just… take care of my nephew._"

"Will do. Bye Pam."

I hung up and tried not to fidget. I went straight to my ensuite bathroom and started running the water for a bubble bath. I didn't allow myself to stop and think about Eric flying in tomorrow. It didn't change anything. He was probably just pissed - well that made two of us.


	2. Chapter 2

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**EPOV**

I was making my final stop, in Miami, before finally heading to Louisiana. Beat and frustrated didn't even begin to cover it. I figured I looked as bad as I felt when I caught a 5-year-old Korean little girl staring at me in the lineup to the cashier at the Duty Free shop. I hadn't meant to stare, but once my eyes settled on her my eyelids felt like lead and I didn't have the energy to look somewhere else. She had been gaping at me a little, but after I stared too long her lower lip started to wobble and she was suddenly tugging at her mom's skirt while simultaneously trying to climb her. The woman turned around and looked from her daughter to me and back. She tucked her child against her hip and shuffled forward as she was next in line.

I rubbed my face with both hands, trying to wake up before I resorted to slapping my face instead. There was a chuckle behind me before an unknown female voice penetrated the mental fog.

"Boy, you look like you could use some coffee!"

I turned around in line to face her. I recognized her from at least 2 of my previous flights. She was the dark-haired, green-eyed flight attendant whom I'd seen coming and going up and down the aisle. I checked her name plate, it said Dawn Green.

"I don't really drink coffee," I said, my voice came out raspy, as if I hadn't practiced speaking. Well I hadn't, not for the last 11 hours. "But if you have a pillow somewhere, I'd take it."

She laughed. "I think I saw you sleeping quite a bit on the flight from London."

"Nah I was… that was just thinking with my eyes closed," I yawned involuntarily.

"Wow… you must have a lot to think about," she laughed, leaning closer.

Was she flirting with me?

Well yes, hell, I had.

I shrugged. I was next in line so I moved ahead to pay for my purchases which included newspaper, a magazine and a Panda plush toy.

"Is that for your girlfriend?" Dawn asked casually as it was her turn and she watched me shoving my things inside a paper bag.

"No it's uhm…" I cleared my throat. "It's for our baby actually."

"Oh," all the pretence dropped from her face and she looked disappointed for all of two seconds before carrying on with enthusiasm. "Congratulations!" I saw her eyes scanning my hands for a ring. My wedding band was quite visible. "So uhm, how long have you been married?" she asked, as we now walked out of Duty Free.

"Nine years," I said, unable to keep the glum from my voice as the reason for this trip came barreling through the blissful forgetfulness of travelling exhaustion.

"Well that's a pretty long time as far as I'm concerned," she laughed. "I get married in January."

"Congratulations," I said automatically.

And good luck with that.

"Can I ask you something?" Dawn stopped in front of me, cocking her head to the side.

"Uhm… OK?" I looked between her and the seats in the waiting area. I was really tired.

"You're that doctor, aren't you?" she smiled, her eyes scanning my face.

"I am _a_ doctor…" I said hesitatingly. How many could lay claim to being _that_ doctor, whoever he was.

"No, it is you, I'm sure!" she narrowed her eyes at me. "Didn't you save a man who was seizing on FX Air flight 315 about two years ago?"

Oh… I guess I was _that_ doctor. "Well, he saved himself, he was tough. I just made sure he made it to a hospital alive."

"You're a legend at FX Air," she smiled, some of the flirtation back.

I didn't quite know what to say to that – which she seemed to find endearing.

"Well it's almost time to go," she said looking at the wall clock. "I look forward to serving you on board," she winked walking past me.

The only good thing about getting on the plane this time was that it was the last plane I would be getting on for a while. I buckled myself into my seat and as soon as we were in the air I leaned back and closed my eyes. The closest I got to Shreveport, the more real my problems became. I started replaying last week in my head.

I had been working at a refugee camp in Somalia, along with Russell Edgington, long time mentor and friend. We had been stationed there for three months when Sophie-Anne, another colleague of ours showed up letting me know someone from the legal office wanted to speak with me. Russell and Sophie-Anne had exchanged cryptic looks as I looked up from a pile of charts. I don't know why it didn't click for me then. It took me actually sitting across from the man and him explaining, very kindly, that my wife's lawyer had sent the papers, divorce papers, through the agency's legal department, but that he could be the bridge between me and my own lawyer in the States if I wanted him to.

He then started into a bunch of pseudo-legal babble but I was hardly paying attention to it. My mind was reeling and all my anger seemed to be travelling to my fists – except, there was nothing around I could punch – so I stood up and just stormed out.

When I met Sookie I couldn't actually think past the next day. Even if every day I decided I wanted to be with her on the next, it took me a while to decide I actually wanted to marry her. Probably because I didn't think I was the marrying kind. But the more time I spent with her, the more I realized _she _was. She was definitely the girl you marry – and before some other guy came along ready to give her a diamond ring and a house and kids, I proposed. I never regretted it, no matter how unsuitable a marriage seemed to be for my lifestyle – I just wanted to make sure she was _there_ when I came back. I wanted to be sure she was mine.

It never occurred to me until then how simple it was for her to remove that safety net from under me.

"I saw the papers."

About a half-hour later, Sophie-Anne found me in my tent, sitting on my cot and staring across the small space. She paused at the entrance and watched me, a knowing look in her face. I looked away from her when I recognized pity. She stepped closer and paused before she sat on the edge of my cot carefully.

"What are you going to do about it?"

I narrowed my eyes at Sophie-Anne; I could hardly fathom why she was here. She had never been the strongest advocate to the stability of my marriage. In fact, if anything, she had hinted, more than once, at her availability to make me a cheater.

"Why do you ask?" I rasped out. She had the sense to look upset. "I'm sorry…" I rolled my eyes. "I don't know. I'm still trying to process it."

"You should go home, Eric," Sophie-Anne said without pause. "She's pregnant, you two are upset, but you can't fix this from here."

I knew she was right - even if I couldn't for the life of me understand why Sophie-Anne was giving me relationship advice. I had let this drag on too long. I had been a coward – but if Sookie thought I was just going to sit here and let her write me off of her life from across the ocean she was out of her freaking mind.

Between talking to Sophie-Anne and booking my flight for the next week, everything else turned into background noise, like I couldn't register anything else going on around me. Russell came in at some point to let me know he was removing me from rotation as of now. I tried to protest, insisting I was perfectly capable to continue attending until I had to fly.

"Eric, you were my favorite Intern, and you're like a son to me. So here's a little paternal advice… shut the fuck up," he then smiled at me. "Concentrate on getting yourself together so you won't fuck it all up when you see her. Trust me Eric, there's nothing more dangerous than hormones," he then shuddered as if he remembered something unpleasant.

I knew this one trip to Somalia had been a mistake the minute I boarded the plane. I knew it was a mistake, and I still went. I thought distance would take the edge of bitterness, I thought a week into it we would be phoning each other and apologizing and making plans for Christmas. But even as I sat on the plane I knew it wasn't going to work like that this time – and I still didn't have the balls to get off the plane. I still don't know why.

I tried to replay our last conversations as I started packing. They had all been phone conversations and they all had been about the baby. I couldn't understand because she had sounded excited last time we spoke – she had made an appointment for her next ultrasound, when she was going to learn the sex of the baby. On second thought, she _had_ sounded excited until I mentioned I wished I could be there for that one, and then she closed up, continued to talk in a clipped tone and hung up without letting me know when she'd call again. I had almost called her back just to yell at her, but brushed it off – soon the arrival of six dying children took my mind away from Sookie and our problems.

There was nothing that could take my mind off her right now. The idea that she wanted the divorce finalized now before I was even back from Somalia, before our baby was born filled my mind with disturbing questions.

Had she met someone else? Why else would she want this now? Was he in my house right now? Was it someone I knew? How long had this been going on? Was she going to let my baby call someone else dad?

"I would have expected you to be fast asleep by now!"

I looked away from the window to stare at the flight attendant. It was the green-eyed brunette from earlier. She was leaning over the seat across from mine, which was empty and staring at me with a smile.

Truth be told, I would have expected the same. But I guess my mind just started working overtime now that I was closer.

"Uh, yeah, I just couldn't sleep," I said stretching in my seat as I could.

Dawn kept staring at me a little. My eyes fell on her engagement ring and I had to wonder what the hell was up with her.

"Well I could get you something to help you with that," she offered after a while. "I've been an insomniac my whole life."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Really? Offering unprescribed drugs to a doctor?" I actually smiled, for the first time in days.

Dawn's smile widened and she had the decency to blush. "That probably wasn't very smart."

"Nope."

"Well, anything else I can get you, Doctor?"

"No, thanks."

She shrugged, and walked off, still smiling.

I turned to look outside again. I was glad Dawn had interrupted my previous musings. No, I didn't think Sookie had simply moved on just yet. It wasn't like her. This wasn't about another man. This was something else. She was disappointed, I knew that. But the last couple years hadn't been easy on either of us. I'd have to confront her directly, and then try to convince her that this whole thing was a mistake.

I couldn't lose Sookie. I just couldn't. She was my anchor back home, the one thing that pulled me away from the dreadful, depressing madness I put myself through overseas. When I flew home to her, it was like coming up for air. I couldn't let her go. I wouldn't. She didn't get to give up on me. And she didn't get to do this while carrying my baby.

**SPOV**

I spent another lovely morning, hugging my best friend: the toilet. Turns out the baby didn't like dinner last night… or any other night, apparently. I was just walking out of the bathroom when Lafayette came in, holding a steaming mug and smiling.

"Gooood…" he stopped, taking in my pasty, damp face. "Uh Oh… looks like you need this," he walked towards me, handing me the mug.

"Oh… tea… thanks Laf," I took a sip and swallowed, waiting to see if it was going to come out the way it came in right away. When it didn't, both of us smiled and moved to the couch. "You look nice."

"That's because Alejandro and I have a lunch date," he looked at me meaningfully. "But… I'm free to go shopping tonight if you want."

"Uh, yeah… I don't know if that's gonna happen," I flinched, remembering why. "Eric's flying in today. He's probably going to come over."

"Dr. Northman is coming home, huh?" Lafayette's eyes widened. "He must have gotten pissed to fly in earlier." He winked. "Atta girl."

I shrugged. "I didn't do it to piss him off." At least I didn't think so. "I just want to take control of my life again."

"Good for you. I have always admired your man, not only for that gorgeous backside, which, let's take a moment to admit: is quite admirable," I nearly spit my tea and laughed. "But also because it takes a big person to be so giving and do what he does for those poor women and children in the Mother Continent." I nodded, knowing that speech very well, everyone admired Eric – I was personally sick of it. "But a man has to know his priorities, and a dad should be with his kid, and his hot wife!"

"Amen!" I giggled as I finished my tea. "That went well… it's the first thing I've been able to keep down today."

"You're welcome, hookah… oops, sorry. I promise from now on, you're just momma." Lafayette winked as he stood up.

I walked Lafayette out and ended up taking shower number two. I made some work-related calls before attempting to eat again – I managed to gulf down two crackers, but that seemed to be the limit.

I tried not to think about the fact Eric would be landing today. I didn't want to get excited about this. This wasn't part of my plans. What I knew was that he would be coming before Christmas so he could be around for when the baby came and I had been preparing myself emotionally for _that_. I didn't quite know what to do about him showing up now, probably all kinds of angry about me sending him divorce papers. I really wasn't in the mood for Angry Eric. Angry Eric triggered Angry Sookie, and I was a bit afraid of what Angry Sookie, the Pregnant Edition would be like. Probably not a pretty sight – but maybe it would make him sign the papers faster.

Around noon, however, my Eric-worries were mercifully interrupted by an unexpected visit from my brother Jason and his girlfriend Amy. I thanked them both for the furniture, especially the rocking-chair, since that had been their gift. We stood around the nursery talking and at some point we decided it could use a new coat of paint. When they asked me if I knew the sex of the baby already, so we could decide on color, it felt wrong, again, for me to start telling people before I told Eric – so I lied. Jason bought it and just started listing colors that would work both ways, but Amy looked at me funny, with a little knowing smile.

That was when we heard the front door - the distinct sound of a key turning. I froze, looking at my watch. It wasn't even 3 o'clock yet.

"Who's that?" Jason frowned.

I turned around and walked straight into the living room, in time to see Eric closing the door behind him with a click. His eyes found mine immediately and my traitorous heart leapt inside me. He looked exhausted, but just as handsome as ever. The look on his eyes was hard and accusing and I couldn't quite hold his gaze for long, so I took in the rest of him. From the state of his clothes, he hadn't left the plane long ago, but he didn't carry any luggage, so he obviously had at least stopped at Pam's first. He carried a brown paper bag, which he dropped on the floor next to the door. I looked up his face again and he seemed to be about to speak.

"What the hell, Eric!" Jason appeared from behind me speaking loudly. "Did they kick you out or something?"

Eric's eyes went from me to Jason and he looked annoyed for a fleeting second before he schooled his features. "Jason. No, not yet." He then saw Amy showing up after Jason, peeking around his shoulder curiously. "Amy."

"Hi, Eric!" she beamed before glancing nervously at me.

"Did you just fly in? Where's your luggage?" Jason asked and I wanted to punch him.

"Hey, Jason, I had an idea," Amy said quickly. "We could go to the store and pick some color samples, for Sookie. I think your sister and Eric probably need some time to catch up. We can come back with the samples some other time."

I had to be thankful for Amy's tact, as it more than compensated for Jason's extreme lack of the same. Jason mumbled a little about how I hadn't even fed him yet, but Amy finally managed to get him out the door, leaving me and my husband alone for the first time in four months.

"Hey…" was all I could say once the door was closed.

"Hi," Eric couldn't do any better, it seemed.

**xxxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

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**EPOV**

When I walked into our apartment I had a very clear plan. I knew exactly what I was going to say and how I was going to say it and how far I was willing to go if it all came down to a monumental fight. But once we were alone in the apartment, and I could really, really look at her, everything just flushed right out of my mind.

One look at her growing bump and I was speechless. When I left we weren't even aware there was a baby in there. We hadn't even been planning to make one. I felt immediate and unforgiving regret for not having been here for all that. Suddenly I wanted to divorce me too.

Sookie cleared her throat, snapping me out of the daze, and I looked at her face. She was watching me with a mixture of amusement and uncertainty. "Never seen a pregnant woman before?" she teased, but it was a weak attempt – she was uncomfortable.

"Sookie," I strode across the space between the living room and the kitchen and my hands landed on her sides as I took a closer look and caressed the bump with my thumbs, mesmerized that we'd done this together. The last one hadn't made it this far… "Twenty weeks, right?" I asked going into my automatic mode as I tried to feel around her belly.

"Yes," she said in a small voice.

I looked up from the bump to see her biting her lower lip, and looking down between us, seemingly trying to be somewhere else. I sighed audibly, and straightened up – her eyes snapped up to meet mine. My hands remained where they were but I stilled my movements,

"Why did you come now?" she asked.

"You know why," I told her seriously. "What were you thinking?"

"You _know_ what I was thinking. Eric, we've talked about this." She squared her shoulders and pushed my hands away.

"We decided we would talk about this when I came back!" I reminded her, feeling my temper rising. "And that was before we even knew there was a baby!"

"It's because of the baby I'm doing this now!" she said, her temper rising as well.

"Really? You're having my baby - how does that encourage divorce?"

"When you don't fly back the minute you hear your wife is having _your_ baby!" She wrapped her hands around her bump and shifted her body as if she was trying to shield our unborn child from our yelling.

"You didn't ask me to come back!" I said exasperatedly.

"Did I _have_ to?" she shot back incredulously.

"Honestly, yes?" she gasped. "I'm a little out of my depth, Sookie. I didn't know what the right thing to do was anymore. But if you'd asked, I would have dropped everything and come back. As it was, I didn't quite feel you were ready for me to come back when we talked about it."

Sookie sighed, shaking her head with disappointment. "I can't tell you what you're supposed to do every step of the way, Eric. Sometimes _I_ have the right to be confused as well! Sometimes I need _you_ to use your head and your heart and help _me_!" tears sprung in her eyes and she swiped at them angrily. "I didn't do it to force you to come back. I did it because I want this to be over. As long as we're still married I'll keep hoping, and I'm tired of hoping one day we'll be an actual family again." She rolled her eyes at herself as new tears sprung into her eyes and turned away from me to wipe them off.

I moved before I was even aware of it. In two strides I caught up with her and turned her around to tuck her against my chest. A strangled cry escaped her before she relaxed, and molded herself to me, burying her face into my chest, her small hands fisting on the sides of my shirt. I thought about what she said while I held her and felt disappointment as well. I caressed her back and kissed the crown of her head, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Sookie was sniffling quietly against me, angling her body awkwardly because of her bump.

"I hate hormones," she mumbled after a while.

"They aren't all bad, sweetheart," I chuckled, squeezing her and kissing her temple.

She stiffened a little and I held my breath, fearing my reprieve was over. But she relaxed again and moved her left hand to trace invisible patterns below my collarbone. The light touch of her fingers stirred me in a way that was probably not welcome at the moment, so I stilled her hand and brought it against my lips. Sookie lifted her head slightly to watch me, her eyes were puffy from her tears and a new pang of regret gripped me from inside.

"Sookie…" I cupped her face in my hand. "You have to know how sorry I am. You know I would never willingly, knowingly hurt you…"

"I know…" she sighed, closing her eyes when my thumb ghosted over her lower lip. "But it doesn't make it alright," she pulled away, a little reluctantly it seemed, or so I hoped. "We'll talk about this later. I'm too frazzled right now," she then grasped my hand. "I want to show you something."

She started pulling me towards our bedroom and I started to feel perhaps a bit too hopeful now. She sat me down on the foot of the bed and walked over to her bedside table, reaching for something in her drawer. She walked back and sat next to me pushing an envelope into my hand with a little encouraging smile.

I had a suspicion about what it was so I pulled it open hastily and soon I had it in my hands: The ultrasound picture of our baby. I had seen so many of those in my lifetime and so many of them bore bad news for the mothers, who were often malnourished or sick or beaten – it was such a relief to see signs of a healthy baby for once – my baby.

"It's a boy!" I muttered happily, running my fingers over the little guy on the picture.

"I accidentally told Pam, but you're really the first to know," she said beside me. "I was going to call you but…" I looked up when she paused. "But it's actually great to a see your reaction," she smiled.

I shifted so I could turn to her and my hands circled around her belly again and I felt a little jolt. Our eyes met and we grinned at each other.

"It's amazing," I muttered.

"I know," Sookie sighed and didn't push me away when I leaned over o kiss the top of her bump. "So uh…" she hesitated, watching me as I sat up to face her. "Regardless of what happens… are you going to be here the rest of the way or…?

"I'll be here for as long as you let me," I told her.

Sookie nodded, appearing to be relieved. She kicked off her shoes and pushed herself backwards on the bed, until she was lying against her pillow. I removed my own shoes, and crawled up next to her, glad when she didn't protest. I lay on my side and rested my hand on top of her belly, still mesmerized by the sight and feel of it. I looked up to find Sookie watching me – I sure wished I could read minds right about now.

xxxxxxxxxx

**SPOV - 2002**

I fumbled with Pam's keys a little before I found the right one and sighed nervously. I finally got it in the keyhole and turned, pushing the door open.

I had been inside Pam's apartment a couple of times, so I knew the layout in general. I stopped by the door, and swept my eyes over her spacious living room. I eyed her built-in bar a little enviously and frowned when I saw the sliding glass doors to the balcony open – with the curtains swirling around in the wind. I moved quickly to close them, knowing there was supposed to be a storm today. After making sure the doors were sealed shut I turned back, trying to remember what I was supposed to do.

Slapping my forehead I started walking towards Pam's office, which was across the room, behind the bar. I found the door unlocked, like Pam promised it would be and pushed it open. I looked around, trying to remember what she told me. I looked at her desk and remembered where the CDs I was supposed to pick up were stashed. I rummaged through her desk drawers but couldn't find them. Cursing, I stood up and looked around, trying to jog my memory.

I let out a little squeal when I remembered and turned around to the wooden cabinets behind the desk. I opened them and started going down the shelves full of data CDs and DVDs. I was getting a little bleary eyed from reading all the tiny labels and starting to lose my cool.

"Hello."

I yelped, startled by a sleepy, masculine voice behind me and turned around with a hand on my chest. _Naked man!_ Was the first thing my brain registered and I slapped my hand over my eyes.

"OHMYGOD!" I gasped. "I'm sorry! Pam didn't tell me there would be someone here!"

There was a light chuckle. "No, Pam wouldn't."

I recognized the voice then and my heart started hammering even faster, if that was possible. "Eric?" I asked tentatively.

"Yup," there was a pause. "I _am_ wearing pants, you know?"

"Oh…" I dropped my hands and opened my eyes, which immediately swept over the length of his body. I swallowed as I registered that yes, he was wearing pants - navy blue, soft, pajama pants that hung low on his hip – the deep V below his bellybutton pointing tauntingly downwards. My wicked eyes swept back up, taking their time to take in the expanse of his tanned chest. Wasn't he way too fit to be a doctor? I finally made it to his face and had to contain another gasp. His bed hair looked way too good on him and he stared back at me with his sleepy blue eyes. I noticed a day's worth of stubble sprinkling his chin and cheeks. He looked unfairly beautiful for someone who just woke up.

"Sookie, right?" he asked when the silence stretched too long. His voice was throaty from sleep and I had never heard anything sexier.

"Yes, we met at your mother's charity brunch last week," I clipped in what I felt like was an annoyingly squeaky voice.

"Right," he nodded smiling, his eyes sparkling with recognition. "Yeah, I remember you."

He lifted his right arm to scratch at the back of his neck and I was so enthralled by the musculature of his arm it took me a second to realize where his eyes currently were – giving me the once over. I flushed from head to toe when his eyes met mine again and there was a lazy smile there that could melt panties.

I cleared my throat and started wringing my hands. "I'm sorry if I woke you up; I just came by to grab a couple of things for Pam." I looked around trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

"Nah, it's OK. I was already awake, just daydreaming."

I looked back at him, he was leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded across his work of art of a chest and watching me fidget. Damn his bed hair was so cute!

"I wish I had time for that," I laughed nervously.

His head was cocked to the side and he was making me nervous with his blatant staring and his sleepy smile. I wanted to yell at him to go put a shirt on or something before I made a fool of myself.

"Pam making you work too hard?" He asked with mock-stern voice.

I smiled, relaxing slightly. "Well, she likes to make sure I'm worth every penny."

"What are you looking for?" He asked helpfully, still leaning against the doorframe.

"Uhm… a couple of CDs labeled Yearly Report 2002 and 2001?" I turned back to the cabinet. "But I can't seem to find them."

"They're on top of her desk," he said a moment later.

I turned around to see him nodding towards the two CD cases appropriately labeled right under my nose.

"Oh, right!" I said embarrassedly, clearing my throat. "Well, thanks!" I swept them up and shoved them in one the pockets of my coat. I looked up, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear, trying to hold his gaze without blushing like an idiot. "She also forgot her phone?"

"Bedroom," Eric rumbled, his eyes were now a dark blue.

"I beg your pardon?" I gasped.

He smiled. "The phone – it will be in her bedroom."

_Epic fail._

"Oh!" I laughed. "Of course. I uhm… I knew that!" I waved it away and started walking around the desk. "I'll just go and grab it and get out of your hair."

There was, however, the slight problem of logistics – Eric was pretty much blocking the entire door and when I stopped in front of him I was under the full effect of his towering, half-naked, bed-haired, smoldering figure. At first, when he just stood there, staring at me, I thought he was out to mess with me. But then I realized he was just sleepy.

I raised an eyebrow and smiled a little. "Uhm… I need to be on the other side of this door."

He smirked now. OK, maybe he was messing with me. He unfolded his arms and stepped back, watching me the whole time. I stepped out headed towards Pam's bedroom.

I hadn't been inside it before, but I knew which door it was. I had to pause at the door and whistle. Pam really knew how to live. It was huge, the bed was made and the sheets were silk. To the right was the door to her closet. I bit my lip and smiled, tip-toeing across the room to take a peek.

"Cheese and Rice!" I gasped as I switched the light on inside her closet.

There were hangers and more hangers full of, I would bet, clothes that cost more than what I made in a month. Designer clothes everywhere, and her shoes – I counted over 100 pairs, not to mention purses and other accessories.

"Did you just use a euphemism for Jesus Christ?"

I jumped, for the second time that day, at the sound of his voice. I turned around, again with a hand to my chest, to find him standing behind me looking slightly more awake and, I noticed, sadly wearing a t-shirt and having combed his hair.

"Yeah… I did," I shrugged once my heart stopped hammering. "What can I say? I was raised by a very religious woman."

His mouth now curled into a devious smile. Damn him and his lips and his perfect teeth!

"Huh…" he looked me up and down. "I wouldn't pick you for a Bible Belt kind of girl."

"Are you aware you live in Louisiana too?" I smirked.

"I lived abroad growing up," he shrugged. "Mom's a southerner. Dad's Swedish."

"Yeah Pam mentioned that," I nodded remembering her mentioning something about that. "Pam feels so local, though."

"She would," Eric nodded. "Dad wouldn't let her leave his sight. You know what it's like; she was his little princess and all that."

I grinned. "I wouldn't pick Pam for a Daddy's Little Girl kind of girl."

Eric grinned as well. "She's a poser."

I laughed and, stupidly, touched his arm in an automatic gesture – it turned out to be a mistake. The feel of his skin and muscles under my fingers sent a jolt through me. I pulled my hand away before I mauled my boss's brother.

"So, did you find her phone in here?" He cocked his eyebrow at me.

"Uhm," I blushed, now from embarrassment. "No, not in here."

"I'll call her phone, you can follow the ring tone," he said turning around to walk to her desk phone, granting me a fantastic view of his backside.

I mentally scolded myself as I moved back into the bedroom. I wasn't used to having heat strokes from looking at handsome men. God, I had been working with Alcide for a year, he had a crazy hot body and I never felt like I had turned into a floozy next to him!

Madonna's _Like a Virgin _started playing and Eric and I immediately sought each other's eyes before we burst into laughter.

"Seems to be coming from the other side of the bed," he told me.

I nodded and followed the sound as well. The phone was, in fact, on the floor between the bed and her bedside table. I picked it up and ended call. Eric put the desk phone away.

"Thanks!" I told him as I shoved the phone into my other coat pocket. "I'll leave you alone now."

Eric shrugged. "Let me at least offer you a cup of coffee. Pam's having you fetch her things like a secretary, it's the least _she_ can do." He smiled.

"_She_'s very considerate. I accept her coffee," I giggled before I could stop myself.

Soon I was leaning against the kitchen island, my arms folded across my chest while I watched Eric moving around the kitchen. He was more comfortable and graceful around kitchen appliances than I would have expected. He fixed me a tall cup of hot, steaming coffee and handed it to me with a wink.

"Thanks," I smiled and took a sip. I frowned, watching him put the coffee away and reach for a glass before walking to the fridge. "You're not drinking with me?"

"Not coffee," he said, producing a jar of what I imagined to be orange juice. "Never cared for it."

I frowned looking at my cup dejectedly. "Why did you…"

"I saw you drinking buckets of it at the brunch," he shrugged with a smile while he poured himself some juice.

"Oh…" I couldn't help the blush so I didn't look up – the idea he had been paying attention made me feel slightly warm. "I suppose it's a Doctor thing then?"

He laughed. "Plenty of doctors drink coffee, or alcohol, or smoke, or all three," he shrugged. "Just because we know it's bad for you, it doesn't mean we're any better at avoiding it."

"No, I guess not," I drank more of my coffee to keep from talking.

"So when did you decide you wanted to be a journalist?" Eric asked, casually leaning against the sink.

"Gulf War."

He frowned. "How old were you?"

I wrinkled my nose, looking up, trying to remember. "Nine? Ten? I just wanted to be one of those brave journalists reporting amidst chaos and world-changing events."

He cocked his eyebrows. "And so you work for a local paper that mostly covers traffic accidents off Shreveport and galas in New Orleans?"

I blushed for an entirely different reason and stared down at my coffee. "Like I said… I was nine. Not everyone gets to where they think they will be at nine years old," I shrugged, trying not to sound too defensive. "I still have years ahead of me anyway."

Eric was studying me quietly when I finally looked back at him and he seemed embarrassed for having somewhat offended me. "Sure. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Did you always want to be a doctor?" I decided to change the focus of conversation.

He grinned. "No. At nine I probably just wanted to be an astronaut."

I laughed and then shrugged. "Well you're still young as well."

He nodded, watching me with now very dark blue eyes. "Do you want to have dinner with me Saturday night?" he asked like he was asking me to pass the salt.

"Yeah, yeah I do," I answered just as casually.

xxxxxxx

**2012**

I woke up before Eric did and sat up, leaning against the headboard. It was safe to watch him for a while. He had slid down on the bed, so he could sleep with his head next to my tummy, his hand had slid onto my thigh now and he was snoring lightly – in that way I had always found cute. I fought the urge to run my fingers through his hair. It had grown a little since I last saw him and strands of rebellious hair kept falling on his eyes. He always wore bed hair so well – I mused.

I sighed and gently removed the hair from his eyes, studying his face. He still looked so tired. I had no idea how many hours and how many planes and airports he had been through. After the first couple years, I stopped paying attention to these details – the man was always travelling.

I tried talking myself out of letting him stay. I tried to tell myself to tell him to go as soon as he woke up. We could talk tomorrow, or Sunday. He would agree to sign the papers and everything would be official – I could relax again, I could stop hoping for the ultimate proof that he loved me above all, that I and our kid were the most important people in his life. I could be just me again – and see where I ended up.

I suddenly noticed the light snoring had stopped and looked down at Eric. He was awake and he was watching me, over the swell of my belly. I smiled before I could stop myself and Eric took it as green light – he pushed himself up slightly on his hands and leaned over to press another kiss to the top of my bump. I wish I could say it made me feel uncomfortable – but it didn't – it made my heart flutter stupidly. I should probably have said something then, but I didn't. I helplessly watched as he heaved himself to sit next to me and then reached over to cup behind my neck and bring my face closer to him.

"Eric!" I gasped in warning when our lips were mere inches apart.

Eric sighed and touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. "Sookie… don't do this to me."

I swallowed and pulled away, watching the dejected look on his face as I scrambled out of bed.

"You can stay. But you're either sleeping on the couch or in the nursery. We still have the air mattress we used when Gran visited. I can't just slide into our old routine that easily Eric – I'm not the one who went away to work, I'm the one who stays behind every time."

He watched me for a moment, his expression changing subtly. I guess he understood I was basically saying I was giving him a chance – even if I wasn't going to make it easy. So, he nodded.

"Alright. I can sleep in the nursery."

I nodded. "You should go get your stuff from Pam."

He looked away for a moment before he smiled and moved out of the bed. "I got you something."

I watched as he strode out of the bedroom and I followed, at a slower speed. I found him searching into the paper bag he'd dropped by the door earlier, and when he straightened up again and turned around, he was holding the cutest, fluffiest Panda bear plushy.

"Oh, that's adorable!" I smiled as I grabbed it.

"It's probably bigger than the baby will be when he's born, but…"

"It's perfect," I said. "Thank you."

Eric smiled, relief showing through his exhaustion.

xxxxxxxx

When Pam came to bring Eric's luggage later in the evening she was beaming like Christmas had come early. I don't know what she was happiest about – that she believed Eric and I were all patched up, or that she wouldn't have to put up with living with her brother for the next few months. Pam loved Eric, but she was a girl's girl. She didn't even go out with men, that's how little patience she had for them.

She gushed over the nursery and sounded a lot more excited about it than Eric had. But then again, I suspected he resented me for picking every piece of furniture in there without discussing it with him. Or maybe he just resented me for making him sleep in there.

By 9pm, Lafayette called and asked me pizza for how many he should be buying – he didn't sound surprised when I said two more. Soon, he arrived with Alejandro and pizza. The boys treated Eric normally and I was happy for it. It was already awkward enough when it was just the two of us.

"So…" Pam walked into the kitchen as I was loading the dishes into the dishwasher. "Can I tell my mother you guys are OK so she can stop worrying?"

I gave Pam a warning look. "Don't use your mom to guilt-trip me!"

Pam leaned against the sink, watching me finish. "She'll guilt-trip you herself. She probably regrets she doesn't have a heart condition to hold it over your head."

"Don't even joke about that!" I told her.

"You should tell her the sex of the baby soon. She's been dragging me to baby shops and torturing me by going through their entire stock in baby clothes, only to then not choose anything because we don't know what it is yet. Although, I should warn you, expect a lot of neutral-colored baby clothes to be coming your way."

I laughed, thinking of Helen stocking up on yellow, green and tan one pieces. I loved Helen – she was a real woman of the south – much like my Gran would have been at her age, I imagined. Except she had been born into money and later married into it too. She was sophisticated and elegant like Pam, but she was also very humble and certainly the most charitable woman I have ever met. Eric took after her in that aspect – they were both humanitarians.

"Oh woman, cut that out!" Lafayette burst into the kitchen carrying two more glasses. "I'll take care of everything."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be silly Lafayette. I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

"You should take all the pampering you can while you can, Sookie. Motherhood's probably going to drain your life and soul soon enough." She scanned me up and down. "Not to mention your figure."

I scoffed at her, knowing she was just yanking my chain. "Rude!"

Pam winked and pushed off from the sink. "I should get going. I have an empty apartment to enjoy."

"See ya, Pam," I said as Lafayette nudged me to the side so he could put the glasses in the dishwasher. "Where is Alejandro?"

"Catching up with your hubby, you know he has a _thang_ for him," he winked at me while he programmed the dishwasher.

"You both have a thing for my hubby," I reminded him, folding my arms across my chest.

"So is he still your hubby?" Lafayette asked, in the way I knew he wasn't going to judge me no matter what I said. It was what I loved about Laf.

"I… I honestly don't know." I looked down.

"Take your time girl," Lafayette rubbed my shoulders encouragingly. "I saw him outside. That boy is going nowhere unless you tell him to go. So take your time, now it's your turn to make him wait!" he added meaningfully before he winked at me and walked out of the kitchen.

Eric was trying to make room for the air mattress when I walked into the nursery. He had had to push the crib around a little but he managed. He looked up at me, standing on the doorway holding his pillow and a blanket, but said nothing.

I watched him while he finished and took in his clean, masculine scent – he had just gotten out of the shower and slipped into cotton sleep pants and an old t-shirt. I ignored the nagging ache in my chest and stepped closer. "Here."

He grabbed the pillow and blanket from me and tossed them onto the mattress. "Thanks."

"So, listen," I took a deep breath looking around. "I'm going to work tomorrow morning and I'm probably having lunch with Claudine afterwards… so I won't be home before three."

"Work, on a Saturday?" he frowned.

"It's for a meeting," I said, not really wanting to talk about my new contract just yet. "Anyway you should be OK until then. There are lots of people who are going to love hearing you're back. Send Helen my best if you go to see her," I smiled encouragingly.

He looked at me for a moment; I couldn't really read his face though, which made me uneasy. "OK." He said, at last.

"Well… good night," I tried to smile.

"Good night, Sookie," he didn't even try.

I stepped away and closed the door behind me. I made my solo way to our bedroom and closed that door too. I stared at our bed, minus his pillow and the ache in my chest increased.

xxxxxxx


	4. Chapter 4

xxxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I woke up late and to an empty apartment so I tried getting some stuff out of the way. I fixed myself something to eat, unpacked, though I didn't know if my clothes were welcome in my own closet anymore – so I piled them on top of the dresser in the nursery, sent some important e-mails to MSF and called some people, including my mother who was thrilled to know I was back. Father was out of town on business.

Sitting around to watch the news while I caught up on my mail and did laundry triage was always a sobering thing. I never kept up with the world outside of whatever I was doing when I was out in the field. I always enjoyed catching up on sports when I came back. But at the moment I couldn't really interest myself in anything – so I just went about doing stuff with the TV as simple background noise. After I got up to do some laundry, I heard a noise back in the living room and stopped, leaving the basket to rest on top of the washing machine. I knew it was too early for Sookie to be back, so I frowned.

"Hey, Sook, where are you at?" a male voice yelled from within the apartment.

I made my way out of the laundry room through the kitchen until I came to a halt, staring at the man standing there, in front of the couch. He stared back at me, equally surprised. It took me a minute to recognize him – Alcide Herveaux used to work with Sookie when I met her, but I hadn't personally seen him after she changed jobs, and that was years ago. Why the fuck did he have a key to _my_ house?

"Northman!" he piped once he recovered himself. "Guess you dropped out early? Long time no see."

I blinked several times. "Yes, indeed."

"How's Pammy doing?" He asked animatedly.

He used to be one of Pam's favorite photographers at the paper. But I didn't expect them to have kept in touch either. Pam was currently the Chief Editor for her very own Fashion Magazine _Pamela_, which had always been her goal.

"She's great," I paused. "Why are you here?"

He presented me with a tight-lipped smile. "I just dropped by to check on Sook before I head back to New Orleans and…to drop her keys," he said producing them from the pocket of his jeans.

Well thank God for that.

"She's out in a business meeting," I said. "You can leave the keys."

"Sure," he shrugged and moved to drop them on the coffee table. "So, you make sure to tell her I came by right?"

I nodded. He smiled tightly again. Right back at ya motherfucker.

"Also make sure to tell her I'll call her during the week," he added as he got to the door. "See ya."

I stood there, watching the door open and close and then stared at the key on the coffee table.

My phone rang loudly then, snapping me out of the dark path my thoughts were taking me to. I looked at the phone-screen and my eyebrows rose when I recognized the caller's name.

**EPOV - 2002**

Sookie Stackhouse was incredibly fun when you got a little alcohol in her – that's not to say she had been boring before the wine arrived. It just helped her loosen up a little. I ended up taking her to the _Babineuax – _a friend's recommendation. But it turned out to be a dark and formal ambiance that didn't seem to suit either of us. It was all too pretentious. Sookie did look beautiful under candlelight, though – it gave her tanned skin a fantastic glow – it looked so smooth I kept wanting to reach out just to brush her arm and feel it.

"How's your lamb?" I asked, just to have something to say after watching the way her lips closed around her fork. Those lips were far too distracting.

Sookie took her time chewing and swallowing before she answered. "_Lamby_?" she chuckled. "It's good. Very good."

I smiled. "So, what were you going to ask?"

Sookie looked at me for a moment, as if whatever it had been completely escaped her and then she nodded to herself, remembering. "Do you always stay at Pam's when you're in town?"

"No. My apartment is in New Orleans though – so she puts up with me when I'm too lazy to drive late at night."

She grinned. "I wouldn't think Pam would be too fond of having her flat full of boy germs… especially her brother's?"

I grinned back. "Boy germs… you _have_ been spending too much time with her."

She shrugged. "She's my boss."

"I feel for you," I said honestly. Pam could be a bitch. "Have you always lived in Shreveport?"

"No, I'm a small town girl," she said and blushed – wine made it even more interesting when she did. "Bon Temps."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really? Do you still have family there?"

"My grandmother. I tried talking her into moving into the city with me when I graduated but," she shrugged. "She loves her farmhouse – it's got history and all that. My brother lives in New Orleans – he just opened a Construction firm. That's really all the family I've got…well… there's my cousin Hadley, but I don't even know where she is."

I was surprised. I would have expected her to come from a big family with several loud siblings and multiple cousins and aunts and uncles. She just looked like that kind of girl – turns out she was pretty much alone in the world. I wasn't surprised it made me sad – I was surprised, however, that I felt like it was my personal responsibility to fix that.

"Is something wrong?" Sookie asked me, tilting her head as she watched me. "Looks like you went into your own little world there for a second."

I smiled, folding my arms on the table. "Nothing's wrong – I was just trying to remember if I've ever been to Bon Temps."

She looked from me to my plate. "Did you lose your appetite or didn't you like your fish?"

I looked at my plate, realizing I had barely eaten. "You're just so much more interesting than food," I offered with a grin and got just what I wanted – she blushed like a school-girl – her eyes dropping between us while she recomposed herself. "You're just so easy, Sookie."

"I beg your pardon?" she laughed.

"To tease…" I added while she shook her head.

"I can try to make it harder," she challenged and took another sip of her wine, making her wet lips glisten under the candlelight.

No, she couldn't make it harder – if my lower half had anything to say about that.

"How would you do that?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Eat your food, Northman!" she nodded at my plate. "One question for each bite, otherwise I'll clam up and be the date from hell," she winked, letting me know she was kidding.

I decided to humor her anyway and forked a piece of fish, leading it into my mouth. I chewed and narrowed my eyes as if trying to think up a very difficult question. Sookie watched me with a grin, shaking her head and taking another bite of her lamb.

"OK," I said putting my fork down and folding my arms across the top of the table again. I looked deep into her eyes. "What's your favorite color?"

She burst into giggles and shook her head. "Lame!" she took a deep breath and shrugged. "Blue."

I narrowed my eyes. "All women say blue."

She looked up for a second and shrugged. "Pam would have said pink."

That was also true.

"So what's _your_ favorite color?" She asked cocking her eyebrow.

I let my eyes drop to her dress, what I could see of it with the table between us anyway, and decided I had a favorite new one.

"Red," I said looking back into her eyes.

The twitch of her lips was funny, but she kept herself from blushing, to my dismay. "That's not a very manly color, Eric," she said with mock-seriousness.

I shrugged. "I'm a passionate man, didn't you know?"

She smirked, nodding. "I heard some stories."

I lost my cool at that, ears perking up. "Sorry, what?"

Sookie giggled at my reaction and swept her eyes around the restaurant before looking back at me. "I meant your passion for medicine."

I rolled my eyes while she giggled – guess I was too easy as well. The last thing I needed was her thinking I was some kind of _Don Juan_, love-them-leave-them kind of scum. I probably was at one time, but now I just didn't have the time.

She leaned over and stuck another piece of fish to my fork before taking it to my mouth with a raised eyebrow. I let her feed me and watched her sit back, already missing the view she had given me of her cleavage.

"Favorite movie?"

Sookie chuckled into her wine glass. "The Goonies?"

I burst into laughter and actually intentionally reached for my fork this time.

"Yours?"

I winked. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Sookie gasped. "That _is_ a really good movie!"

We were walking down the street later in the evening, still talking and laughing on our way to my car. I could appreciate the whole of her dress now, and how it fitted her perfectly – red was definitely my favorite color – it suited her, whether she was wearing it or blushing through several shades of it – it made me want to touch her inappropriately. As it was, I settled for laying my hand to the small of her back as we walked, enjoying the feel of velvet and smooth skin as her dress dipped dramatically at her back.

"You know…" Sookie said as she turned around to look at me and leaned back against my car. "You're not what I expected." She tilted her head, a mysterious smile curling those adorably pouty lips of hers.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked, fighting the urge to reach over and kiss her already.

"I guess…" she began, her eyes dropping somewhere between my neck and my chest. "I heard so much about you that I didn't expect you could surprise me."

I cringed. "I'm probably not as great as people made you think I am, Sookie."

She grinned. "No… they didn't make me think you're great. They made me think you're a…" she blushed a little. "superhero. Superheroes aren't all that interesting when you take them out to dinner."

"You anticipated me being boring?" I smirked.

She shrugged. "I was prepared for that. I guess part of me was afraid tonight would ruin the magic." She blushed even harder, looking down. I narrowed my eyes, knowing she was not going to elaborate on that. "But… you're actually pretty cool."

"You're pretty cool yourself." Actually, she was smoking hot – but I wasn't going to ruin the moment making that distinction before I even got to kiss her. "But I knew you would be."

Her eyes sparkled at that and I knew I had said the right thing. I high-fived myself mentally and moved to get the door open for her. "Shall we?"

She nodded pushing away from the car and touching the top of the door to get in. She paused, looking from the car to me with a grin. "A doctor _would_ drive a Mercedes…"

"That's a treat from being a Northman. I don't make that kind of money volunteering."

She nodded. "I guess not."

She slid into the car and I closed the door before getting in myself.

xxxxxxx

**2012**

I had been to the Brigant General Hospital before, hell I had done my residency there – but it felt like it had been so long ago, I could barely recognize it. A lot had changed – the hospital had obviously seen some improvements. It was good to see some familiar faces though – I was already feeling old enough watching the fresh-out-of-college interns going about.

"Eric Northman!" Steve Newlin beamed as he found me waiting for him outside of the board-room. "The rumors are true!"

It was good to see Steve – we had done residency together and I guess he was Brigant General's star doctor. He had actually done time in South Africa with me when I first started volunteering – the summer before I met Sookie – just to be lured back to the hospital and its safety as soon as we returned. I didn't judge him for it – not everyone was cut out for that field.

"Russell called and told me to take good care of you," he confessed when we sat down at the cafeteria.

"And here I was thinking you just missed me."

"Well, that too! You're my man, you that. Tell you what, I'll give you the full tour after we're done here. Then we can talk about your future."

"My future?"

"You just have to hear me out, Eric. That's all."

My phone buzzed and I checked for a text from Sookie: _Just got home. Where are you?_

"Will you excuse me a moment, Steve?" I said pushing my chair back.

"Sure thing," Steve watched me curiously.

A stepped away from the noise of the cafeteria and rang home.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, it's me. I got your text. I'm with Steve Newlin. How was your meeting?"

There was a pause. "_Oh… Oh it was fine. What is Steve up to?_"

"Head-hunting me, I guess," I looked over to our table where he was now chatting with another doctor. "I probably won't be home for a couple of hours. I'm sorry I'm not there, I thought I should probably hear him out…"

"_It's alright. I'm glad you're… considering it at all. I guess I'll just see you at dinner?_"

"I'll try to make it before then. Did you have plans for tonight?"

"_No… it was just going to be me, food and a movie._"

"Why don't you let me take you out to dinner?" I offered, hopeful.

"_Are you sure you'd be up to it? You looked so tired yesterday… we could just stay in…_"

"I'm sure. When was the last time I took you out?"

"_Oh I…. I don't even know… our anniversary?_"

Fuck – I was a dick.

"Right," I sighed. "Well I'm taking you out tonight."

"_OK… tell Steve I said hello._"

"Will do." I paused. "I love you Sookie."

There was a sigh at the other end. "_I… I see you later._"

**SPOV – 2002**

The wine had left me pleasantly warm and the breeze coming through the window of Eric's speeding Mercedes was making me shiver, but not in a bad way at all. I supposed it was a mix of things – my skin felt like it was charged with electricity. I personally attributed it to the man sitting quietly beside me.

The chatter had died down at some point in the ride, but not in a bad way. We just exchanged a few glances and smiles while music filled the silence for us. I had learned a lot about Eric that evening – the most important thing I learned was that he was easy to be with. I had been afraid I would be too intimidated by his standing and good-looks and history to feel like we had anything in common. But we did – we had a love for the simple things and corny movies from the 80s. He had a quick smile that never, _ever_ got old and never failed to make my heart flutter. He was funny and surprisingly humble. He talked very little about himself unless prodded – but that was OK because I enjoyed prodding him.

Being with him even made me forget about how nervous I felt sitting in fancy-ass restaurants like that one. It had been a relief when Eric revealed he had never been there, that it had been a recommendation and he deeply regretted it. The food was good, though, and I soon could care less about my discomfort. Having his full attention was getting to me in a strange way – the wine helped, maybe. Talking to him was easy and I wasn't afraid of my answers because he acted as if everything I said was the most riveting thing he had ever heard. And his eyes – his deep blue eyes were just mesmerizingly beautiful under the warm candlelight. I could swear they changed color depending on whether he was being funny or charming or gentle.

Smitten – completely. I had already felt deeply attracted to him at the Charity Brunch – knowing I'd never say no to him before he even opened his mouth. I had hoped going out with him would break the spell a little, but it just made it worse. He was a real guy and that real guy was amazing.

"Here we are," Eric announced, breaking me out of my reverie.

I looked out the window to see we were indeed before my apartment building. I turned to see him smiling at me – I was about to thank him and get out when he suddenly opened his own door and stepped out. I watched as he walked around the car to get to my door and pressed my lips together to keep from grinning like an idiot.

"Miss Stackhouse," he offered me his hand as he opened my door for me.

I smiled at him and grasped his hand, allowing him to help me out and close the door. We stood there a moment – his hand still holding mine – it felt so warm and good. His deep blue eyes were darker now and he seemed to be mapping my face with it. I felt him grasp my hand a little tighter before his eyes continued their exploration. I swallowed, feeling suddenly nervous in a delicious way and when he looked back into my eyes he had a little smile on his lips.

"I would invite you for coffee, but, I learned just today you don't drink it."

He grinned. "Good night, Sookie."

"Good night," I grinned back and stood on my toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

I lingered there a bit, marveling at the velvety feel of his skin and taking in the scent of his after-shaving cream. I swallowed, committing those sensations to memory. I was finally pulling away when I felt his arm snake around my back, to keep me there and suddenly his mouth descended on mine.

Pure electricity rippled through me in wave after delicious wave. The man was kissing me!

My hands acted out of their own accord – one sneaking into his silky short hair, the other wrapping firmly around his neck for support. His lips were hard at work and I parted mine without hesitation. He pulled me flush against him, one hand fisting into my hair and the other running the length of my back to rest at my hip. New bursts of electricity rushed through me, springing from the feel of his tongue brushing against mine. I hadn't been kissed like that in a long time, if ever, and my body was rather hungry for more. At sometime I realized I needed to breathe and, gripping his shoulder, pulled away, gasping for air.

"Shit…" I muttered.

"On second thought… coffee sounds great," Eric said breathlessly against my lips.

I laughed while still trying to get a hold of myself. We eventually made our way upstairs, I made us some coffee which he drank dutifully while making faces and later we made out on the couch till I decided to kick him out before I did something that deemed me a non-respectable girl. Eric mock-pouted his way out the door, but after another toe-curling kiss to make sure my night would be hell, he left.

After I closed the door I started asking myself why the hell I had made him leave.

xxxxxxx


	5. Chapter 5

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

Eric wanted to take me to one of our favorite restaurants. It was right next to his sister's old apartment – we had eaten there countless times in the past. Problem was it was no longer there and, since he had wanted to surprise me, I couldn't even spare him the ride. He stopped in front of the old, charming building with its doors closed and a Real Estate Agency sign stuck to the front.

"What the…?" he looked back at me with such a disappointed expression, and then he recognized my look of pity. "When…?"

"Last summer," I said sadly. "I'm sorry; if you'd told me you were planning to come here I would have spared you the trouble."

"But…" he looked back at the old restaurant. "It was awesome, and it was always full to its capacity…" he was shaking his head.

"I know," I sighed. "Attendance wasn't the problem." He looked at me curiously. "The Daltons split up…" I trailed off and looked away. "I guess they couldn't reconcile, not even at work." I shrugged. "I heard Penny is opening a café just down the street!" I tried to look on the bright side.

Eric looked back at the restaurant, inconsolable. He gripped the steering wheel, looking ahead. "Where to then?"

"Uhm… that little Italian place three blocks from here?"

He nodded and put the car in motion. Eric was awfully silent from then on. He had been telling me about seeing Steve again and how Brigant General had been improved over the years. I kept prodding him for more information so he wouldn't ask me about my meeting yet. I didn't know why I was nervous about telling him, but I was. But now he was quiet and frowning – I couldn't for the life of me figure him out. I had loved that restaurant too and the Daltons were really nice and personable – but it wasn't like there weren't other good restaurants in the city!

_Tony's Little Bistro_ was a lesson in redundancy – and it wasn't even that small – but it was a nice choice too. We parked and made our way to the entrance, luckily we were seated immediately and after debating a little on what we should order, Eric got up to walk to the counter. _Tony's_ was one of those restaurants were you put your order in at the cashier and waited for your number to be called. They didn't have a waiting staff, just busboys to clean up after you were done.

I shifted around in my seat, trying to make myself more comfortable, and hung my purse on the back of my chair. When I turned back to watch – I saw Eric was leaning against the counter, watching me with a very pained expression on his face. I blinked, staring back at him in confusion. Finally our number was up and Eric seemed to snap out of it as he moved to get our order.

"Here you go," Eric slid my chicken salad in front of me.

"Thank you," I smiled while opening my soda can.

He sat down and watched me, still looking upset. But when I looked at him questioningly he smiled and turned his attention to his food.

What the hell?

"So uhm, Steve wants you in his E.D.?" I tried to bring conversation back.

"Yeah," Eric seemed glad to have something to latch on. "At least for now, he seems to have something in mind but the time isn't right. He said I could do time in the Free Clinic if I want to."

"Brigant has a Free Clinic?" I was surprised.

"It does now," Eric smiled. "I actually had been getting on their case about it back when I finished my residency. I guess their unwillingness to do it at the time was what made me throw myself head on into Russell's program." He looked somewhere over my shoulder, thinking. "Anyway I'm going back next week to talk some more with him and the Chief General." He paused, watching me eat. "So uhm… what was your meeting about anyway?"

Damn…

"Oh," I poked my food around to make sometime. "I uh… I signed a new contract last week and Claudine and I were just talking details." He arched his eyebrows at me, waiting for me to elaborate. "It's a one year contract acting as Content and Editorial Manager for the WVN's Website."

Eric frowned a little, looking down at his own food before looking back up. "Uhm… wow. Is that what you want?"

I smiled. "I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want it."

"Right," he nodded. "Congratulations then!" his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

And there it was – the reason I didn't want to talk about it. I smiled rather forcefully as well, and stuffed chicken into my mouth to keep from talking or pouting. I had to work hard to find neutral stuff to talk about. I told him about the paint job I was fixing to get done in the nursery and he said he'd help Jason with it. I told him I was having lunch with his mother every Sunday and he told me she had mentioned that and it was fine with him. I told him we needed to go baby-clothes shopping and that seemed to cheer him up a little.

We drove back home and we showered, in separate bathrooms, before sitting down in the living room to watch TV. I sat down on the couch, sliding down a little and put my feet up on the ottoman, with Eric sitting next to me. I put the news on because I knew Eric tended to get out of touch with the world when he was volunteering and we sat in companiable silence for a while.

"So uhm…" Eric started after about an hour, while grasping my hand that had been resting on top my belly to massage my fingers gently. "I thought you wanted to try out for _The World Explorer_?"

_The World Explorer _was a journalistic magazine that had been at the top of my list of wonderful places I'd like to work for. It focused on international politics and economy as well as bringing comprehensive travelling guides all year long. It involved travelling and adventure and all those wonderful things young Sookie had once dreamed of.

"I did… at one time," I said calmly. "There's no place in my life for that now."

Eric shook his head. "But it's your dream. Even when we _were_ trying for a baby, it was still on your list – we talked about it. My Dad even searched his contacts for you…"

"It just never truly made sense for me to pursue that, Eric," I interrupted him. "I guess I just kinda held onto the dream because… I don't even know why!" I laughed. "Let's be honest, if I worked for the _Explorer_ with your continuously travelling with Russell, this marriage would have been over years ago! We'd never see each other." I chuckled. "It's OK Eric… I just… I took one for the team."

He glared at me at that and I realized my mistake too late. He let go of my hand and pushed away from the couch, heading for the nursery without another word or look at me. I flinched as the door slammed shut behind him.

Crap.

I stared at the TV – the anchor woman was announcing a storm for tomorrow. She had no idea.

I sighed and extracted myself from the depths of the couch, nudging the ottoman away. Just as I did, my eyes caught a strange glint on my peripheral vision. I looked over at the coffee table and saw a lone front door key lying there. I frowned, picking it up – was that the key I'd given to Alcide? I looked over to the corridor and sighed again. I shuffled around, turning off the lights as I did before I finally stopped at the door and knocked before pushing it open gently.

"Eric?" I called as I stepped in.

He was sitting still on the rocking chair, staring at the crib, it seemed. I couldn't exactly tell because the only light coming into the room was coming from the street, behind him, it cast a nice glow on his hair and my heart fluttered involuntarily.

"Yeah?" he asked hoarsely after a beat.

"Look…" I said shuffling into the room and finding the lamp switch on top of the dresser. "I'm sorry," I said once the dim light was on and I could see him staring at me across the room. He looked hurt and also pissed – I couldn't blame him. "That came out completely wrong."

"Did it?" He sounded unconvinced.

"Yes, it did…" I went for the stool, but Eric stood and took my hand, leading me back to the rocking chair instead. I smiled and he dragged the stool to sit in front of me. "I did give up things I wanted. But that's on me. It's not like you were never up to negotiate what we did and didn't do. I chose to put you first… for the longest time because I thought what you did was so honorable that it was the least I could do." I sighed. "I'm not going to hold any of this against you. Whatever we did, whether wrong or right it led us here. I'm happy to be here – I'm so happy we're having a baby – nothing else trumps that."

I was being completely honest. I was harboring a lot of hurt – but I knew a lot of it was self-inflicted and while apparently I couldn't help but lash out at times, when I stopped to think about it, it didn't really matter.

Eric leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees before rubbing his face tiredly. I reached over and brushed his hair tentatively. I didn't want him to go to sleep hurting over what I said – I regretted the minute it came out of my mouth. I had no right to keep throwing shit like that on his face when I had never asked him for an alternative.

"Eric…?" I called when he didn't say anything.

He took a deep breath and sat up, my hand falling back onto my lap. "What?"

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "But I believe you. If you are happy with this… I believe you."

I smiled gently. "I am."

He nodded. "We should just go to sleep," he said standing up.

I bit my lip, feeling unsure. It didn't look like I had done a good job making him feel better, but I knew better than to keep pressing the matter, so I let him help me to my feet and I was about to walk out when I remembered the key and fished it out of my pocket.

"Hey…when did Alcide drop this?" I asked from the doorway.

Eric had been fluffing his pillow and stopped, looking at the key in my hand. He paused, appearing to have completely forgotten about it.

"This morning," he said with a strange look on his face. "Said he'd call you or something…" He dropped he pillow on top of the mattress before turning fully around to face me. "So… why did he have it in the first place?"

I should have anticipated that one. "About three months ago he quit his job to work in partnership with Jason. He sold his apartment before he could buy a new one in New Orleans… so I let him sleep here while he got that sorted out. He just ended up taking the keys with him when he moved. He used it to let himself in on Thursday, when he brought all the nursery stuff… guess he forgot to return it then." There it was: the whole truth.

Eric nodded, looking down between us for a moment. "And all those times we spoke on the phone… it never occurred to you to mention that?" And there it was: what was wrong with it.

I leaned against the doorframe and sighed, knowing it was best to just be honest. "I guess I didn't want to fight with you about it." OK there was more to it than that – but I had hurt him enough for one night.

Eric held my eyes for a moment, and I could see it go several shades darker, before he just looked away and nodded, going back to fixing his bed. "Whatever. Good night, Sookie."

I pressed my lips together and nodded, more to myself than him, since he wasn't even looking at me anymore. I swirled around and nearly jogged to my room. Closing the door behind me before falling back against it and bursting into tears. I couldn't even tell exactly about what I was crying – it was probably all of it… and those stupid pregnancy hormones.

xxxxxxx

**3 months earlier – 4****th**** of July**

Gran was nearly 80 years old and Jason and I made a point of spending as many holidays as we could afford to in her house. She liked to act as though she was immune to the years and for all intents and purposes stubbornly immortal - but we knew better. Her physician, Dr. Ludwig, had told us her heart wasn't the same. After she had a heart attack in 2011, I tried, once again, to talk her into moving to Shreveport with us – but she wouldn't listen. She said she wanted to die in her bed, in her house and in her land. Not even Eric could talk her into it – and she listened to Eric more than Jason and me.

So I drove to Bon Temps for the 4th of July – alone. I had called Gran two weeks ago to tell her the good news. She had been thrilled. The minute she saw me she swept me up in a bone-crushing hug before she started to fuss with me. Jason and Amy had arrived a day earlier, so I had to tell them immediately upon arrival. They were both very happy for me, although Jason was a little pissed off because Eric wasn't here – I couldn't disagree with him. For Gran's sake I wasn't talking about Eric and I and my decisions yet. Poor Gran would be devastated – and I had her heart to think of.

I was surprised to hear Alcide was going to be spending the holiday with us. Jason said he had just broken up with Debbie and quit his job and they had kind of ran into each other and Jason was looking for someone to share responsibility with anyway – so apparently, Alcide was going to become a new partner.

I was drying the dishes from lunch when the kitchen door open and a little girl, she couldn't be more than 4, ran past me like the wind. I blinked, thinking maybe my pregnant-brain was making me hallucinate little girls – that was when the door creaked again and I turned to see Alcide walking in.

"Layla! Get back here, we need to tie your shoes!" he yelled as he closed the door.

We stopped, taking in the sight of each other and smiled. It had been at least 4 years since I'd last seen him. He still looked the same – if a little bit older.

"Is she yours?" I gasped surprised as I nodded towards the sound of a little girl running around noisily on the floorboards.

He grinned. "No. She's Janice's. I'm just being a fun uncle and driving her around."

"Oh!" I smiled. "How is Janice doing?"

"Pregnant with Layla's sibling," he rolled his eyes. "Already!"

I laughed. "Well she always did want a big family."

He shrugged. "I suppose." He walked past me and out of the kitchen. "LAYLA!"

Gran, Amy and I started on putting mayonnaise and salad together, while Jason and Alcide worked on the grill outside. Little Layla kept gravitating between a group and another – depending on who had more treats at the moment.

After the fireworks and food, we just hung out around the farmhouse or outside. I had finished with the dishes a second time when I walked out on the porch to see Alcide entertaining his niece. Layla kept going around and finding small objects to put on his lap.

"You're really patient with her," I observed, sitting on the edge of the swing and leaning forward to watch them.

Alcide was sitting on the step, keeping an eye on her. He grinned proudly as Layla brought him a dry twig, before taking off to Gran's flowerbeds again.

"She's a sweet kid." Alcide looked over his shoulder at me. "How far along are you?"

I felt my eyes widening in spite of myself, and I shifted in my seat completely caught off guard.

"Did someone…?" I looked over my shoulder, at the house, where I could hear Gran and Amy talking.

"I'm just very perceptive," Alcide said smugly.

I cocked my head to the side and threw him a look that let him know I wasn't buying it and he laughed.

"I _may_ have heard something while I was going into the kitchen for a beer earlier…"

I reached over and mock-punched him on the back and he just laughed again. I sat back and shook my head even as my lips curled into a smile.

"About nine weeks."

"Congratulations!" he smiled genuinely, before letting his eyes fall to my stomach – I wasn't quite showing yet, but my waist looked different. "Eric must be thrilled."

I refrained from commenting. It was hard to tell how excited someone was over the phone. OK, so it wasn't – but I think I detected more surprise and shock than excitement. Although one might argue that it was just because I was so shocked and surprised myself.

I knew Eric wanted kids. At one point in time, we actually planned for one, did the whole going to the doctor, quitting birth control, going into a rigorous regime of baby-making-sex and window shopping for baby stuff on the weekends thing. We did make a baby back then, but when I miscarried I guess we were just too disheartened to talk about it at first and I was too afraid to try again.

So it came as a complete shock to find myself pregnant again. It wouldn't be the first time in history birth control failed.

"I don't think anyone is more thrilled than Gran," I said instead.

Alcide chuckled. "Having great grandkids is pretty huge."

Layla bounced back, carrying a little purple flower and deposited it on her uncle's hand. Alcide grabbed it and tucked it into her hair. Layla giggled and clapped and then squealed as he lifted her up in his arms to tickle her into a fit.

I guess it was then I fell into a trap. I was suddenly smitten by what Alcide represented. He was the _what could have been_ and the _what if_ simultaneously.

I wish I could chalk it up to being pregnant and, therefore, clinically insane – but I knew it was just my disappointment festering in dangerous ways.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

Steve called me early on Sunday morning – too early. Perhaps that was how he managed to convince me to go jogging at the park with him. I hadn't gone jogging in a while – I confess I was sore, but I managed to keep up. Steve was a ball of energy – and words. The man didn't stop talking the minute we met in the parking lot, but I was grateful for that. The talking helped. It helped me not think about last night and the double can of worms Sookie had opened on me.

"So, in short…" Steve panted beside me. "… if everything works out I'll make you head of the Free Clinic – you get to run things your way, as long as you delegate – I need all hands on deck."

I just nodded, not wanting to embarrass myself by talking while trying to breathe like the normal, fit man I knew I once was.

"So is that a yes?" Steve asked enthusiastically.

"That's a definitely maybe," I amended. "It's a good offer."

"Right?" Steve stopped running, thank God, and leaned forward, hands on his knees, panting. "God…"

I looked down at him and shook my head. "What's wrong with you? I thought you said you did this every week?"

"I lied," Steve panted, still staring at his shoes, trying to catch his breath. "I just tried to keep up."

I shook my head. "Were you trying to impress me, Stevie?"

He laughed, straightening himself up. "Yes, Northman. I've been trying to woo you!"

"You're doing well, Newlin," I patted him on the back. "But next time… suggest golf… we're not that young anymore."

Steve laughed and we moved to the rails to stretch.

"So uhm…" Steve began tentatively. "How in trouble are you with the Missus?"

I raised my eyebrow at him while I started on my stretches. "You and Russell gossip like two old little ladies."

He grinned unapologetically. "We love you bro. We're just looking out for ya. Anyways the reason I'm asking is that Sarah and I would love to cook dinner for you sometime."

"Sarah?" I grinned. "Who's Sarah?"

The poor little fucker actually blushed. "Well… she's going to be _my_ Missus real soon."

"Well, you look at that," I straightened myself up. "Little Stevie is finally settling down."

He shrugged, smiling smugly. "It just feels right, you know? Everything is still so new but… but I know she's the one."

"Tone the cheese down, Stevie – or you'll woo me into your pants," I leaned back against the nearest tree and opened my water bottle. "Where did you meet? Is she one of your nurses?"

"I learned my lesson. I don't eat where I…"

"Cut?"

He grinned. "She's an accountant," he said proudly.

"Huh…" I took a swig of my water. "Well I'd love to meet her."

"You will. We'll plan something one of these days."

I checked my watch. "I need to be getting back. Lunch at my mother's today if I'm not mistaken."

When I got back to our apartment I heard Sookie fussing in the kitchen but I didn't call out to her. I was still pissed and if I wasn't careful, I was just going to make everything worse. I headed straight to the nursery to grab clean clothes from my pile so I could head to the shower. I stopped when I saw my clothes were gone from the room. I doubled back and went for our bedroom instead. The door to the closet was open and, walking in, I saw my clean clothes hanging in their former house. Well, I suppose that was a peace offering. I grabbed what I needed and headed to the shower.

Going to my parents' house turned out to be an excellent idea – it was neutral territory and Pam was there as well. My parents were more than well off, but you couldn't really tell when you met them. The house was big and they had a gardener but my mom cooked and cleaned the house herself. Because my Dad requested, she did allow a cleaning lady to come once a week to do the heavier stuff – but even that took some convincing. So when we arrived for lunch, it was in the kitchen we all gathered, while mom finished. Sookie had insisted on baking a pie for dessert, it took her all morning and the end result was she was turned off for food completely and had to dash for the toilet twice before we left.

"Aw, you poor thing!" Mom sat Sookie down on a stool. "You shouldn't have bothered. Now you will skip lunch and my lasagna is delicious!"

"I'm sorry Helen, I didn't think my own pecan pie would turn against me!" Sookie whined, enjoying my mother's coddling, she always had – I'm pretty sure if we ever did get divorced, she would fight me to keep my mom and try to give me Jason instead.

"Oh soon none of that will surprise you anymore. I was sick the whole time I was pregnant with Pam," mom said while Pam rolled her eyes. "Eric was an adorable baby, though, I was only sick in the early months."

Pam just glared at me as if I was at fault for mother's statement. I shrugged and sipped my wine.

Lunch was great – even though Dad was still out of town. Sookie and I finally let Mom know it was going to be a boy and she immediately disappeared to come back later with a large box. She sat between me and Sookie on the couch and started removing items before I could dash for the border to Mexico.

"This was Eric's first pair of socks!" Mom said, showing Sookie a lumpy old grey thing.

"Aaw that's adorable! Look at how tiny your feet were, Eric!" Sookie was beaming.

"And this… ooh!" Mom put her hand against her heart dramatically before producing the world's tiniest woolen sweater. "He looked so handsome in this!"

"Aaaw…" Sookie grasped it in her hands.

Pam looked at me from the room with wide eyes before making a puking motion and muttering something about going to raid Dad's vodka stash.

"Mom, why did you keep all this stuff?" I pointed at the box. "We're not going to want our kid to look like he was born in the 1970s."

"Eric!" Sookie gasped. "These things are adorable!" She held the tiny sweater in front of her. "Can you believe you used to fit into this?"

I started rolling my eyes but Mom suddenly nudged me, throwing me a meaningful glance, so I just nodded and let them continue to ooh and aaah at all that crap in the box.

I found Pam in the kitchen, nursing a shot of vodka – she eyed me reproachfully when I slumped on the counter next to her.

"What?"

"You should be in there with them going nuts over baby stuff, you twat! You need to win that woman back!" she tried to shoo me away.

I grunted, grabbed her glass from her and drained it, while her mouth hung open.

"So tell me," I started as I returned her glass. "Did you know Alcide had been living in my house while I was away?"

Pam glared at me for a moment before rolling her eyes impatiently. "Seriously? That is what your current mood is about?"

I glared back at her. "So you _did_ know!"

She blinked, looking at me like I was nuts, and then her expression changed. "You mean to tell me _you_ didn't?"

I simply shook my head and Pam's eyebrow went up. "Oh… well… huh…."

"How long?" I asked, looking away.

Pam shrugged, looking thoughtful. "Couple weeks, I guess. I never really ran into him. But once I stopped by to pick Sookie up so we could do some shopping together and the living room was a mess. There was a pillow and a quilt on the couch. So I asked her about it and she told me Alcide was looking for a new place," she shrugged. "I thought you knew… I honestly did."

"Well, I didn't," I said and started looking around for that bottle of vodka. "I honestly don't know what to make of it."

Pam turned around to see what I was doing and swept the bottle before I could get to it, looking at me menacingly. "You had nine years to act like a jealous imbecile – trust me, when she's having your baby is _not_ the right time!"

I knew that – deep down I knew if Sookie ever fell in love with someone else in my absence it would be my fault to begin with and she'd go about it the most righteous way possible because that's how Sookie is. We still probably should talk about it anyway.

At that moment, Sookie came into the kitchen, looking for me and she stopped to eye us curiously.

"What are the two of you up to?"

Pam looked at me pointedly before telling Sookie. "You two need to talk."

Sookie looked from her to me, with a questioning look. Pam left the kitchen, taking the damn bottle with her and Sookie stepped closer, a hand on her bump. I took a moment to finally notice how fucking beautiful she looked pregnant. I'd always thought pregnant women looked particularly beautiful – something about the gift of life and all that cheesy crap – it was all true, pregnant women glowed. Sookie looked just breathtakingly beautiful in her soft blue dress and cardigan. Her hair was as long as it was when we first met and it fell in soft, silky curls around her shoulders and back.

"You look beautiful," I reached out for her hand to tug her closer to me. I felt like an idiot for not having told her that the night I arrived.

She smiled and her posture immediately looked more relaxed. "Thank you."

She took a step closer and threw her arms around my waist. It surprised me, but I recovered quickly and held her back – loving the feel of her against me. I had always loved the coming back home part – there was something especially thrilling about distance in which it made it all so much more intense – the moment you got back, it was like falling in love all over again – it was all content smiles and touching and going at it like rabbits (to make up for the dry months – was our excuse) and just doing silly couple things that probably shouldn't make sense to couples who were married as long as we were.

But this time there had been no time for that – problems had been festering for too long and now it was the time to deal with them.

So, even as I realized the last time Sookie and I had been intimate was probably the night we made the baby, our anniversary, she had said, I knew it still just wasn't time for us to go back there yet. We still had some talking to do – Pam was right.

"Maybe we should go home?" I suggested while tightening my arms around her, contradicting my intent to get moving by holding us still.

"Yeah, I think we should," Sookie agreed.

I finally let her go and she gave me an encouraging smile while rubbing my sides. "Let's say goodbye to Helen."

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

At first the car ride back home was quiet, but strangely free of any tension. Eric's dark mood seemed to have lifted. I started thinking maybe he'd never talk about it. But at the stop light before we made the left turn that would lead into our street, he finally spoke.

"Do you have feelings for Alcide?"

"No," I answered immediately. I wasn't even upset he'd think that – I'd given him reason to wonder. But when he simply nodded, looking like it was what he had been expecting I relaxed. "There was never anything there."

"Even when you went out before we met?" Eric prodded.

I smiled in spite of myself. "The most awkward couple of dates we've both ever been to."

Eric frowned. "So why did you do it? Why did you took him into our house and didn't even tell me?"

I sighed, that was the part I was embarrassed about. "I guess… I was being a stupidly vulnerable prego and I wanted a man in the house again."

Eric also looked appropriately embarrassed – probably for a different reason. "Oh."

"I know it was a bad idea," I amended quickly. "Especially the not-telling-you part. I guess I was being a bit rebellious to spite you."

Here he cocked an eyebrow. "Even if I never knew about it?"

I shrugged. "I wasn't purposefully hiding it from you – if it'd ever come to anything you'd have been the first to know. I was mad and hurt."

"Alcide was an idiot for even accepting your offer," Eric grunted.

"Perhaps he was. But I think he was a bit vulnerable himself. Debbie had just dumped him for his former best friend."

"Ah."

"Besides… I think he secretly enjoyed having a pregnant woman to take care of. I know he has wanted his own babies for ages and I guess the whole Debbie-thing did a number on his male pride."

Eric looked mad then, but I knew it wasn't at me. "So he'd just move in and steal someone else's family to make himself feel better?"

I reached out and placed a soothing hand on his arm – it was very tense, but he relaxed once he looked at me. "I'm sorry this is just messed up," he mumbled.

"I know. It was a stupid move on both our parts but it's done and it's over. We both snapped out of our funk when he found an apartment. He's just been supportive. The only things I ever liked about him being around where the things that made me miss you."

Eric looked pained now. "I'm sorry I left."

"I know you are." I did. Eric wasn't the best communicator – leaving was his way of coping. His life choices worked really well for him that way.

"I want us to work things out," He said and I could see his shoulders tensing again.

"Me too."

He looked at me, surprised and then smiled. "Good."

I couldn't help but smile again and just then I realized we were in the parking lot of our building.

xxxxxxx

**2002**

Somewhere in the long elevator ride up to Eric's apartment in New Orleans, talking just stopped – and groping started. My brain kept telling me I was skipping the third date rule, the rest of me told my brain to fuck off. It was a stupid rule anyway. Besides, I hadn't had sex in 8 months.

I laughed against Eric's lips as we stumbled through the front door, still groping each other and I pushed him against the door so he could lock it. He laughed into the kiss as well and I heard the key turning in the keyhole.

"Do you want the full tour?" Eric asked, lifting me slightly to nuzzle into my neck.

I giggled both from the tickling of his stubble and the absurdity of his question. "Yes, please! I want you to show me…" he interrupted me with a kiss. "every single…" and another. "room in this place."

He growled playfully and lifted me in his arms so I could wrap my legs around him and then he was moving forward, with me suddenly gripping his shoulders in surprise. The trip was short and he deposited me on top of the back of his couch and pulled away slightly to wave his arm around dramatically. "Living room."

I grinned, barely registering the furniture before tugging at the lapel of his jacket to bring him closer. "It's lovely." I kissed him hard, tugging at his hair to angle his head how I wanted it. I planned to keep on teasing him, requesting the rest of the tour, but he had different plans and before I knew what was happening he was toppling us over until I was on my back on the couch with Eric on top of me. "Oh…" I said when I finally could come up for air. "You only have a living room?"

"It's what I could afford," he said, tugging the straps of my dress down before moving to kiss across my collar bone.

"Oh, you poor baby!" I ran my fingers through his lovely hair. "You should sell your…"

My joke died on my lips the minute he fastened his lips onto a nipple and I moaned instead. I hadn't even registered him pulling my whole top down. He worked fast. My fingers gripped his hair harder and my breath hitched.

"You were saying?" Eric looked up with a smirk. I groaned at him and he laughed. "That was just adorable Sookie." I felt him tugging my dress lower as he spoke.

"Eric?" I breathed as he delved his tongue into my navel.

"Mmmm?" was his reply as he kept his lips busy while heading further south.

Whatever I had been about to ask completely fled my mind when he tugged my panties down in one swift motion and his mouth was where I'd most longed for it to be. I made some incoherent sound and I felt myself melting onto the couch, its comfortable depths embracing me warmly.

Third date rule be dammed. Whoever made up that rule didn't know Eric Northman and the wonderful things he could do with his tongue. He eventually showed me to his bedroom, but all I had time to see was how big the bed was before Eric descended on top of me again and the world faded away.

xxxxxxx


	6. Chapter 6

xxxxxx

**EPOV - 2002**

I had been holding myself back all night. Sookie was riling me up to the point I wound up feeling like a 16 year old. Those six months in South Africa had been a test of fire – all work and no play. Not that there weren't any girls, in or outside of the camp that you could get cozy with. But it had been my first time out working as a volunteer and I was taking the whole thing very seriously. Steve even told me I was no fun when I turned down a chance to go to the city with some of the other new volunteers. I wasn't fixing up to be celibate, but it kind of just happened. Then I had come back, met Sookie at a Charity Brunch and I had been thinking about her ever since.

She just stood out in the crowd to me. Granted, a lot of the women in attendance were my mother's age, but Pam had dragged some of her friends and co-workers, and some of them were quite attractive. But Sookie had caught my attention so completely I was blind to everyone else. We hadn't talked much that day and I had gone home feeling a little glum about it.

Two days later I find her in my sister's home-office and I just can't believe my luck. I had never been so quick or so blunt about asking a girl out before. Usually there was a lot of flirting involved in the process but I feared if I waited too long I would just never see her again.

So now here we were, on our second date, in New Orleans, after a night of loud music and Cajun food and dancing (just her mostly, I pretty much stood back and ogled her like a pervert). It hadn't even been a proper date as Sookie ended up making it a night out with friends – her former college roommate Amelia lived in the city and so did her brother. Before I knew it we were at some club surrounded by a bunch of Sookie and Amelia's friends. So when I finally had her to myself in the elevator leading up to my apartment, I got a bit greedy.

Sookie was casually adjusting the straps of her sandals while saying she wasn't looking forward to the 5-hour drive back to Shreveport. I was thinking up some way to convince her she didn't have to go back tonight when she grabbed my arm for balance so she could fix her shoes. She kind of leaned forward and lost her balance anyway, her upper body pressing against me – her scent assaulted me and before I knew it I had her pinned against me, my mouth eagerly seeking the hollow of her neck. She gasped and gripped my arm tighter in surprise, but at a swipe of my tongue beneath her earlobe I had her melting against me. It was good to know I still had it, six-month-drought notwithstanding. Part of me had been afraid I would have turned into a sloppy perv who scared her away with my eagerness.

We somehow made it into the apartment and joked about a tour while still groping and kissing. By the time I had introduced her to my couch I was in pain. I made some progress removing her skimpy little yellow dress, confirming my suspicion she hadn't been wearing a bra. I heard her saying something above me, but it sounded far away and I dived in, taking a rosy, taut nipple into my mouth. Sookie suddenly lost her trail of thought – I smiled against her lovely, warm mound before pulling away to tease her a little.

"You were saying?"

Her protesting groan was just adorable and I told her so. It was good to know I wasn't the only one who desperately wanted this. I kept tugging her dress down, my discomfort increasing with each new inch of delectable, fuckable skin I disrobed. I barely remember removing her underwear but I was suddenly licking and sucking and nibbling at her while she squirmed and moaned beneath me, her small hands tugging at my hair.

"Oh, please, please, please…" Sookie started muttering, her head rolling from side to side.

I speeded things up, using my fingers to help bring her closer and when she arched her back and bucked, finally letting go, she looked so fucking sexy it was all I could do not to take her right there.

She smiled at me as I moved up to face her and her hands cupped around my face adoringly. I kissed her palm and I couldn't help but feel smug at the sated look in her eyes and her lazy smile.

"Sookie," I whispered against her fingers as she ghosted them over my lips.

"What?" she whispered back, now tracing my lower lip.

"I just now remembered… I have a bedroom as well," I whispered, leaning down to nuzzle her, stopping mere inches away from her rosy, pouty and waiting lips.

"Oh!" she grinned. "Thank God!" she closed the distance, touching her lips to mine.

We lost ourselves for a while, kissing and nibbling and sucking, her tiny little hands set a trail of fire wherever they went. But when she shoved her hands between us to try and reach for my belt buckle, I knew we had to move this party to the bed. I tugged one last time at her delectable lower lip before pushing away.

"Hey!" Sookie protested, her arms reaching out for me.

I paused to take a good look at her naked body. Sookie flushed a deep crimson and pulled her legs against her chest as she tried to sit up.

"What?" she whined prettily as I kept ogling at her.

I chuckled. "Come on, sweetheart, you deserve a proper bed."

She seemed to flush harder when I called her sweetheart, and to be honest I have no idea where that came from, but it suited her. I reached down and scooped her up, bridal style. She giggled and threw her arms around me dramatically, making me laugh as well.

Once in the bedroom, I threw her down the bed playfully, and she laughed, trying to scoot away as I started climbing on top of her.

"Oh no, you don't!" I seized her hips and pulled her back down.

"Eric…" Sookie reached for my jacket. "You're not in accordance with the dress code."

She helped me out of my clothes and I couldn't help but laugh at the way she frowned hard while she fussed with the button on my jeans. I seized her hands and she pouted at me, but sat back and let me do it. As soon as I was done she pounced me, climbing on top of me while I was still sitting back on my calves.

"Finally," She said from above me before she kissed me again.

Sexual assertiveness wasn't something I was expecting from the blushing Queen – but I was enjoying it. We kissed a bit longer but it was too much already. I flipped her on her back and she giggled, immediately locking her thighs around my hips as I moved on top of her.

"Sookie," I said breathlessly. "At the risk of having to put my head through a wall if you say no, I must ask you: are you sure?"

Sookie laughed and nodded, running her hands down my chest and grinding her hips upwards teasingly. I could feel my eyelids droop with overwhelming lust when she tried to circle me in one hand – her eyes widened and she blushed – she was going to kill me.

"Uhm… condom?" she asked timidly, flushing deeper.

She was driving me insane, in the best way possible, bouncing between demure and vixen from one moment to the other. I just moved slightly to the left, to reach into my bedside table and grab one – Sookie immediately grasped it from my hand and I soon heard the sound of paper ripping and rubber stretching as she deftly put it in place for me without missing a beat – it was so quick and practiced I had to raise an eyebrow at her. She grinned cryptically before pulling me down for another kiss.

Without any more preambles, I braced my hands on the sides of her head and Sookie bit her lip as she tightened the cradle of her thighs around my hips – it was the sign I needed. Sookie threw her head back and arched beneath me at the same time I dropped my head on her shoulder and grunted.

"Fuck…" we groaned in unison.

We needed a moment, and I leveled my eyes with hers, the flames in her dark eyes stoking my own. She licked her full, rosy lips as she stared at me with the hungriest look - her eyelids drooping, her long lashes fanning over her cheeks – she looked so beautiful with the pink flush to her cheeks. I finally started to move, slow strokes at first, reveling in the ripples of pleasure and in her mewling sounds. Soon she was moving with me and we quickly found a perfect rhythm that escalated until we were both sweating and heaving and clinging to each other at the edge of the precipice. I watched her the whole time and she was fucking perfect. She was panting beneath me, her dark eyes wild with passion, her perfect mouth open in a perfect "o" – I could feel her getting ready to fall when she threw her head back and closed her eyes – I put in a twist to it and pressed onto her nub at just the right time so we could both fall together.

_Perfect._

Breathing was a chore, and I could see white spots all over, but it was all fucking worth it. I started to come down from my high and I looked down at Sookie again – she looked sated, spent, and I guessed I looked just the same.

"Wow…" she breathed at last. "You know…" she panted, closing her eyes. "I'm glad you live in a two-room house… I'm not sure I'd survive a longer tour…"

Laughter erupted out of me and I looked down at her shaking my head; she too was laughing, her eyes still closed.

I had to find a way to keep this one around.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

I tried to pretend I didn't notice Eric staring at my boobs every so often – but it was getting annoying. He had been home a week and we were sitting at the dinner table, working on the baby shower invitations. Eric was doing all he could to stay on my good side and, I admit, I was taking full advantage of it. Pam had promised to help me, but kept making excuses to not get her hands dirty so it was only fair her next of kin stepped up to help.

"OK, what the hell are you thinking about?" I asked after his glazed eyes staring a hole into me started to annoy me – he had been too quiet, we hadn't talked for over an hour.

Eric looked up, surprised by my snap and blinked. "New Orleans," he said cryptically before grabbing another envelope from the pile.

I was about to ask him more when my phone rang – it was Lafayette. "Yeah?"

"_Hey momma, ready to meet Tara?_"

"Oooh is she in town?"

"_She is, at last. I told her all about you and she can't wait to meet you._"

Tara Thornton was Lafayette's cousin – I had heard about her for years but never actually met her. She had gotten pregnant around the same time as me and Lafayette had been trying to convince her to move in with Alejandro and him since she was going to be a single mother. The baby daddy was a mystery. Lafayette was certain we were going to bond over baby stuff.

"When did she arrive?"

"_Last night. Poor thing slept till noon, she's so tired. I was thinking, since it's nearly time for our weekly tea, I could bring her over._"

"Great idea. I can't wait to meet her."

"_See you later momma._"

"See ya, Laf."

"Who's in town?" Eric asked casually, while addressing another invitation from the pile.

"Tara – she's pregnant too. She's coming for tea with Laf in about fifteen minutes."

"Ah…" Eric reached for another envelope.

I rolled my eyes as I noticed now Eric wasn't looking at me at all. He had been acting weird since morning – I had found him sleeping on the couch instead of on the mattress in the nursery, and thought he was just feeling cranky from a bad night's sleep – but he had just been generally distracted. I had caught the odd ogling at my boobs or my ass and I started suspecting maybe he was just horny. I couldn't help him with that – we were still trying to patch things up. Besides, I didn't know how I felt about pregnancy sex yet. I had already gone five months without it, so I wasn't feeling adventurous about it now.

We were nearly about done with the envelopes when the doorbell rang. Eric got up to let Lafayette in while I finished sealing another envelope. I heard them coming in and stood up, turning around just as Eric was shaking hands with a beautiful woman, about Lafayette's height, sporting a bump slightly larger than mine. I had seen pictures of her before, but God, she was so pretty.

"Sook, this is my cousin Tara," Lafayette said as I walked up to them. "Tara, this is my girl Sookie."

Tara smiled, she had a beautiful smile and we shook hands. "Sookie, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Lala talks about you all the time, I feel like I already know you."

"Oh, I feel the same way about you," I smiled. "So what is it?" I nodded at her belly.

"Girl," Tara beamed, patting her bump. "How about yours?"

"Boy."

We cleared the dining table from all the envelopes and went about fixing tea for everyone. I guess Eric was glad Laf and Tara were around for girl time because after hovering around a polite amount of time he excused himself and went into the nursery to do whatever it was he needed to do. Tara was surprised I was already working on baby shower invitations, but I was merely getting a head start – it was too soon to have one, but I just wanted to make sure people knew in advance.

Turns out Lafayette was right – Tara and I got along pretty well, the baby talk definitely helped. She was fun like Lafayette, if less flamboyant. We shared our pregnancy woes over cups of iced tea while Laf watched us with a knowing smile. Tara was moving in with her cousin temporarily – she wanted her own apartment and she needed a job. She also needed a new OBGYN – so I offered to introduce her to mine. Dr. Lorena Krasiki had been Claudine's suggestion – they were old friends. Eric was a bit miffed I hadn't gone to one of his old friends, but I didn't care – I loved Lorena, she had been awesome and I was sure Tara would love her too. So we made plans to go to her clinic next week.

When Eric re-joined us he and Tara started talking about real estate while Lafayette and I went over our plans for dinner. We fixed a nice dinner for a last-minute thing and we all sat down to eat after Alejandro arrived. It was a nice Saturday evening among friends and I was suddenly incredibly happy about having friends _and_ Eric and my baby in one room at last. After we ate, Alejandro and Eric both stole Tara away to the couch where they were going to look up some real estate websites and Lafayette and I did the dishes.

"So, how's operation-keep-the-man going?" Lafayette asked after we'd done some small talk by the sink.

I laughed at his sentence. "I don't know. I'm not sure what we're supposed to be doing. I've been working and he's been in negotiations with Brigant General – but it's just the first week."

"Well, he's looking to fix himself with a permanent job, that's gotta count as progress."

"Of course it does."

"You still making him sleep on that inflatable thing?" Lafayette cocked an eyebrow at me.

I cringed. "Yeah… I don't want to, honestly. But I just… I don't know."

"I get it," Lafayette said. "You don't want to give in."

"It's not that!" I protested.

"Pfft, it totally is girl. I ain't judging you! I get it – hell by the slump of his shoulders I'm pretty sure he gets it too." He looked over his shoulder to make sure we were alone. "Is the sex embargo still going?"

I blushed and shot him a look, he just laughed.

"I thought so, your boy looks wound up."

"He does fine when he's all the way across the sea," I shrugged.

"You're not there to distract him," he winked at me. "How are you holding on that front?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine now. The first three months were nasty – I regularly fantasized about flying to Somalia and invading his tent and having my wicked way with him – and then I'd yell at him till I was blue in the face."

"Sounds romantic!"

I sniggered. "Fucking hormones."

They didn't stay too late because Tara was still pretty tired, so it was just after 10pm when we were fixing to go to sleep. I got into my pajamas and padded over to the nursery to say goodnight. He had just gotten out of the shower and was drying his short hair when I popped my head in. I blame Lafayette for the sudden burst of lust that spiraled through me at the sight of Eric in drawstring pajama pants and a still damp bare chest – he smelled fantastic.

"Hey," I called weakly from the door.

Eric stopped toweling his hair to look at me and I groaned internally – he always looked great with his hair all messed up. He smiled. "Hey yourself."

"So Tara is sweet huh?" I asked.

"She's alright," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes – that was the go-to answer when he didn't really know what answer I expected him to give.

"Well, I like her; I'm totally inviting her to the baby shower."

Eric nodded, tossing the towel away and reaching for an old T-shirt. I almost protested when he covered that perfect torso of his.

"So, mom's expecting us tomorrow again," He deduced plopping down on the air mattress. He fussed a little with his pillow until he made himself comfortable.

"Yup," I fidgeted at the door a little.

"Do you need anything?" he frowned when I just stood there.

"Uh no I…" I gesticulated pointlessly. His frown deepened. "Good night, Eric."

He looked confused. "Night."

I went to bed alone, cursing Lafayette. I couldn't help but lie there and think about what he said. Was I really just making us sleep apart to punish Eric? We had decided we were going to just plow through and be together so why simply not let him take his side of the bed?

I debated that topic while sleep eluded me and I came to the embarrassing conclusion I was just afraid of being too tempted by having him here. I was afraid I'd just jump him and we'd fall into our old _coming home_ routine and then not talk about what had been going so wrong lately. And boy did I want to jump him – I lied to Lafayette in the kitchen. The first trimester was indeed pretty hard – hormones were just all over the place and Eric was lucky he was in Africa back then or I might have broken him. But it's not like now I was just completely turned off by being pregnant and in pain – Eric still had the same effect he's always had on me _and_ we hadn't had sex in at least 5 months.

But that wasn't fair. I was just going to have to put my big girl pants and let Eric get back to our bed and just trust we wouldn't take a bigger step than we could handle.

Seeing as I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, I kicked off my sheets and decided to do a late night kitchen-raid. I was pregnant, I was entitled. I padded through the corridor quietly and out in the living room before heading to the kitchen and switching on the lights. I opened the fridge and tapped my bottom lip while I decided what I wanted. I suddenly remembered we still had strawberry ice cream in the freezer and popped it open, turning to the kitchen island with the pot before reaching into the cupboard for a bowl and a spoon.

I had just dipped my spoon and carved a nice chunk of creamy strawberry ice cream when I spied Eric's laptop at the other edge of the island counter. He had been working on it early in the morning and probably just left it there. I looked at the wall clock and realized it was still one-thirty in the morning and Lafayette would be up on his own laptop, spying on everyone else's Facebook page. So I scooted over and turned the laptop on, thinking about chatting him up till sleep came.

I waited for it to load and shoved more ice cream in my mouth. I was just licking the spoon when the screen finally loaded and my eyebrows went up. On the screen there was a large picture of a younger Eric and a younger Sookie, shoving beer glasses at the camera and grinning like drunken idiots. It took me a couple minutes to place that scene in time and space. Jesus, that was our very second date - New Orleans, 2002! Only 2002 Sookie would wear that skanky dress on a second date. God, what was she thinking?

I leaned closer to the screen and I could see the lights hanging out back, we were probably outside some dancing bar. Jason, Amelia and a few of our college friends tagged along. I don't know what I was thinking when I turned our date into a group gathering thing, either. I'm sure our outing was nothing like Eric had envisioned it. But in the end it had turned out to be a pretty good night…

It suddenly made sense to me why Eric had mentioned New Orleans early when he was all ogly and quiet. He had been thinking about _that_ night. Damn, now I was wishing I hadn't seen that picture either as it evoked some pretty powerful imagery.

"Hey, are you OK?"

I looked up to see Eric by the door, sleepily scratching his stomach, one eye still half closed. His hair all over the place – he needed a trim before I went crazy. I remembered the picture and swiftly hid that screen, pulling up the browser to get on Facebook.

"Yeah, just couldn't sleep," I said when I finally remembered to remove the spoon that had been dangling from the corner of my mouth. "What are _you_ doing up?"

Eric shuffled into the kitchen and slumped on a stool across from me, rubbing at his eyes. "Russell called – he forgot all about the time difference." He reached over for the pot of ice cream and grabbed a spoon.

"Oh…why… why did he call?"

Eric sighed, looking sadly into his bowl of ice cream. "One of my patients died." I remained quiet, watching him, knowing to give him time to process what he wanted to say. "This entire family was brought to us. Three young boys and a 14-year-old girl. They were all malnourished and beaten – the girl was about thirteen weeks pregnant. We worked with her pretty intensely – we almost lost her a couple times but she made it. Her brothers are pretty good now. Russell said she had some complications and passed a few hours ago."

I lost my interest in my ice cream as I felt my heart plummet into my stomach. Eric looked devastated. I heard my own stool scrape the floor as I pushed away from the counter and walked around to him. He was hunched over the counter, looking down. I reached over and put my hands on his shoulders, rubbing his arms gently. He pulled back and scooted his stool a little so I could nest into his chest, between his legs. He buried his face on my neck and wound his arms around my waist.

"I'm so sorry…" I said, kissing his hair gently. "That poor girl…"

"She arrived the day you called me," his voice was muffled and I felt the vibrations on my skin. I knew what specific phone-call he was talking about, and my heart broke again for him. He had probably been thinking about me and our baby the whole time he was trying to save her.

"At least she was being cared for when it happened," I tried to look on the bright side. "She wasn't alone."

Eric pulled away slightly, and he looked at me with an intensity that caught me off guard. I blinked at him, wondering if I had said the wrong thing. His eyes dropped to my belly and his hands moved to caress the bump, lovingly.

"Mothers should never be alone…" he said, his voice choked. I realized what he meant and had to fight a lump in my throat. He looked back at me and it was my turn to drop my eyes. "I'm not missing another second of this," he said firmly.

"Oh Eric…" I couldn't stop the floodgates now.

It was his turn to comfort me, and he did. He hugged me to him and kissed the top of my head and whispered to me that he hadn't gone a moment without wishing he had been with me the whole time, how he was too stubborn to simply pack up and come back the minute I told him – how sorry he was he had avoided being home because he couldn't stand the tension. To hear him confess his avoidance took a load off my chest – and to hear him say it would be different now filled me with hope.

When it was over, I grasped his hand and told him we should try to get some sleep. As he tried to let go of my hand when he walked by the nursery and I didn't let go, he looked up at me questioningly. I tugged him closer and told him to stand there – I walked around him, went into the nursery, grabbed his pillow and walked back out. Eric looked at me, his eyes still hesitant. I smiled, grasped his hand again and started tugging him towards our room.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2002**

I woke up feeling all crusty and sore – I wondered for a moment if I was a sophomore again or something. Then I rolled over and it all made sense. Fuck yeah, Eric Northman!

I grinned and stretched lazily, before leaning on my elbows to look around. The room was pretty well lit because the curtains were open, so sunlight just waltzed in like it owned the place. Eric's bedroom was as I had imagined it – it was sober but in a nice way – dark blues and greens suited him. I looked at the sheet on top of me, it was dark, blue silk and it felt nice.

Did that make me one of those cheap, smutty novel heroines? The poor girl in a torrid love affair with a rich, hot guy? Was there a butler somewhere and a mother who would deem me not good enough for her son?

"Hey!"

I was snapped out of my musings as Eric moved and talked next to me. I looked at him and immediately decided I didn't care about cheap, smutty novels. Bed-hair… _yes_.

"Hey," I grinned, lying back down.

Eric gazed at me sleepily for a moment, a slow smile settling in. I waited for him to say something else, but he just rolled on top of me instead and fisted his hand into my hair before laying a hell of a kiss on me. I melted easily in his arms, running my own fingers through his tousled hair and trailing a hand down his back. When he pulled back to look at me, his eyes were all glazed over again. Oh Lordy…

I cleared my throat. "So…last night was fun!"

Eric mhm mhmed me while trailing kisses down my throat. I swallowed, so ready and at the same time so nervous. I didn't want us to be all about the sex before we even got to know one another better.

"I hadn't been here since before Christmas, I always forget how fun a night out in New Orleans can be!"

"Sookie," Eric pulled away unexpectedly, staring at me with a bit more control. "How do you like your eggs?"

_Shaken not stirred… wrong answer?_

"Huh?" I suddenly missed the pleasant tickle of his stubble against my skin.

He smiled. "Breakfast?"

What? No more sexy time? What a tease!

"O-kay…" I smiled back

Eric chuckled and reached over to give me a quick peck before pulling away completely to get off the bed. I followed the progress of his naked ass across the room while mentally slapping myself for the verbal diarrhea… knowing one another better was overrated.

"So, eggs?" Eric asked again as he tugged on his pants up, covering that masterpiece and making me feel suddenly empty inside.

"Scrambled," I muttered sadly.

Eric grinned again before looking around. "Uhm… I think your dress is gone, you'll have to walk around naked."

It was my turn to grin and I pulled the sheet higher up against my chest. "It's in the living room… be a dear and get it for me?"

Eric mock-pouted and turned around. I stared at his ass the whole time – it was still pretty fantastic with pants on.

xxxxxxx


	7. Chapter 7

xxxxxx

**EPOV**

When I saw Lorena Krasiki listed on the board for a delivery room I immediately remembered that was the name of the doctor Sookie had been seeing. I didn't understand why she'd stopped going to her former one, Indira. But, like Sookie liked to remind me, it was her vagina so it was her call. So I decided to try and get at least a glimpse of this mystery-woman who was looking after my pregnant wife. I caught her just when she was signing off at the desk on the maternity floor – one of the nurses pointed her out to me.

She was tall and quite attractive, with long auburn hair and brown eyes. I knew for a fact I had never ran into her anywhere and had never had a colleague even mention her. Who the hell was she?

"She's waaay out of your league, buddy."

I blinked and turned around. Crystal Norris was the tiniest nurse I had ever met – but she was also one of my favorite so far. She had a little sister vibe to her and it was hard not to like her. She was often following Steve around and that's how I met her and ended up taking a liking to her pretty quick.

I cocked an eyebrow at her while she grinned at me. "Is she really, Crystal?"

She laughed a cute, throaty laugh. "Dear Lord, you're so full of yourself!"

"I know," I half turned around so I could see if the doctor was still standing there. "You do know I'm married, right?"

"Pfft, of course I do," Crystal said behind me. "You wouldn't be the first married doctor to go gaga over Lorena, though."

"Do you know her?"

"Sure, she's here often enough," Crystal cocked her head, watching me suspiciously. "Want me to introduce you?"

"Uh…"

"Crystal, there you are!"

I turned to see the doctor herself approaching us, smiling fondly at Crystal – the whole hospital really did love her.

"Hello, Dr. Krasiki! How did it go in there?" Crystal moved to stand beside me.

"Just perfect!" Dr. Krasiki beamed at her. "Healthy twins." she then titled her head while she regarded me, her eyes scanning over my white coat. "You're new."

"Oh!" Crystal perked up beside me. "This is Dr. Eric Northman – he's recently joined our E.D. staff. Eric, this is Dr. Lorena Krasiki, obstetrics."

Her eyes widened a little and then narrowed – she knew who I was.

"So _you_'re Sookie's Eric," she nodded. "Well it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Likewise," we shook hands. "My wife says great things about you; I was looking forward to meeting you."

"Well, you just did," Lorena exchanged a mysterious look with Crystal. "I'll be seeing you for her next appointment then, I presume?" she was judging me. I could feel it

"I'll be there," I said with my smoothest smile.

"Excellent!"

We heard the ding of the elevator behind us before a familiar voice called out. "There you are, Eric!"

We all turned to see Steve coming out of the elevator. "Lorena, fancy seeing you here!"

"Dr. Newlin," she nodded politely.

"How's Bill?"

"He's fine," she said awkwardly. "Well, I should be going back to the clinic. I'll see you soon, Eric."

"Right."

"So Eric, you free for lunch?" Steve said as she walked away.

I checked my watch. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good. Crystal, you hungry?"

"No, I have to be on the fifth floor in ten minutes."

At lunch Steve told me Niall Brigant wanted to meet with me. Niall was the current Chief General and president of the board – Steve called him the Godfather. Back when we were residents, we hardly ever got to see him, or his sons. I could see Steve's excitement at having me under his wing and I tried my best at sounding equally happy to be here.

The Free Clinic needed all help and guidance possible and I could at least do that – but there was something about working for paying costumers that just chaffed me. Don't get me wrong – we all have bills to pay and I did always try to balance my year between volunteering and working for money – but I knew this hospital would suck me all out of my time if I let them.

When I finally got home that evening, Sookie was in the kitchen working on her laptop, while she watched over something cooking on the stove. She was dressed up so I knew she had been at WVN today and not worked from home.

"Hey," I called, dropping my keys on the counter.

Sookie looked up from her laptop and smiled warmly at me. I leaned over and we kissed – just a quick peck. She scrunched her nose as I pulled away, her eyes scanning my clothes.

"You smell like hospital, and your clothes are all wrinkly."

I chuckled tiredly, easing onto the stool next to her. "Not all of us get to go to work and come back smelling like jasmin and looking all smooth like you," I said giving her the once over – she looked fantastic.

She shrugged. "Guess not," she put the lid of her laptop down. "So, listen…" she swiveled her stool so she was facing me, our knees touched and she leaned over to rest her hands on mine. "Claudine is having a thing at her house – it's just one of those things for people in the industry to meet and pretend they support each other. It's going to be boring as hell. Do you want to come as my date?"

I would be an idiot if I said no. I'd endure a Sex & the City marathon if it meant I got to be Sookie's _date_. She had already let me back in our bed and conversation had been flowing easier now.

"I'd love to," I leaned over and kissed her again. "What's the dress code?"

She made a face. "You have to wear a tux."

I laughed. "Claudine is such a snob."

"That she is," Sookie patted my knee sympathetically before swiveling around again to hop off the stool. "And, who knows… maybe you'll meet Lorena."

Oh?

"Oh?"

Sookie grinned. "My doctor? I met her through Claudine. Lorena's husband Bill is an Editor for the _Royalty Publishing House_ and has known Claudine forever."

"Ah…." I should probably just tell her. "I actually met Lorena today at the hospital."

"Oh!" Sookie seemed surprised. "Oh… did you… did you talk or did you just see her around?"

"We talked briefly. She knew who I was when we were introduced, of course."

Sookie nodded and went about checking the pans on the stove. "Oh… well, that's great. Well, we might see her at this function anyway."

"So, when is it?" I asked.

"Friday," she looked over her shoulder at me. "Why don't you go take a shower and put those clothes in the hamper?"

"OK," I pushed off from the stool. "Don't you need any help here first?"

"Oh, no, I'm almost done."

Long showers were something I only got to do when I was home - so for the first few weeks I'd always stay under the hot spray of water until my skin threatened to start peeling off. By the time I got out and got dressed, food was on the table and Sookie was on the phone with someone. I didn't want to start without her so I went for my laptop and decided to check my e-mails.

There were the usual spams, some from my buddies who'd stuck with the program, even one from Sophie-Anne, sharing her woes of dealing with the "sub". Apparently the program had sent in someone to take my place, someone who wasn't up with Sophie-Anne's standards. I couldn't help but chuckle as she described all the little ways this Andre pissed her off. I wished him luck - Sophie-Anne was an acquired taste - it took time for you to get on her good side.

But there was one e-mail that cast a shadow on my so far improving week - I had no idea how that person had gotten a hold of that e-mail address - and the short message let a bitter taste in my mouth.

_"I heard you're in town. We need to talk. Friday, 8pm, at the Forrester."_

Shit.

"Eric?"

I looked up to find Sookie staring at me across the kitchen - from the look on her face I must have looked as bad as I felt. Her voice was small and worried.

"What's wrong?"

I shifted, closing my laptop and trying to shake off the bad feeling, trying to rearrange my face in the process.

"Nothing."

Sookie frowned. "Nothing doesn't look like that Eric, you looked pale and..."

"It's nothing," I insisted sharply, and regretted my tone as her face dropped. "Everything's fine."

Sookie seemed to be clenching her jaw, but nodded, turning around to put the phone away. I tried to think of something to say fast to dispel the sudden tension.

"Are you working from home tomorrow?" I asked neutrally as I helped her with the cutlery.

"Yeah - they won't need me there personally until next week," Sookie said as she grabbed two plates and walked out to the dining room.

"That's good," I followed her. "Since I get out early tomorrow we could go shopping for toys before Saturday, like you wanted to."

"Sure, yeah, that works," Sookie took her seat and proceeded to piling food on her plate.

She wouldn't look at me. The mood was ruined.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV - 2007**

I drove to Bon Temps brimming with excitement. It was the Friday before Memorial Day and Eric and I would be flying to Vegas for the long weekend. My new boss Claudine Crane had dismissed our entire department earlier since most of us had things to pack and planes to catch. Jason had somehow wormed his way into our planned weekend, and, since it had been a while I hadn't seen Gran - we decided to meet up at the farmhouse and spoil her a little before we headed for the airport in the morning. We also made it so Gran, and I, could finally meet this mysterious new girlfriend of Jason's. Amy seemed really nice - a bit of a hippie but incredibly sweet and she looked like she could handle Jason just fine.

"You look so happy, Sookie!" Gran watched me as I helped her peel the potatoes for the dinner salad.

"I am!" I grinned.

I was. Eric had just gotten back from his latest campaign - it had been a short one - two months in Nigeria - and, we had discussed having a baby when he came back. We were finally ready to be parents. We hadn't talked about it since he'd come back yet - we had been busy, but the holiday was the perfect time to talk about it, and announce I was off birth control - we were ready to go.

I kept that to myself though. Although Gran nagged me constantly for great grand-children, I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up yet. I had been seeing Indira for two years, and when I mentioned we might start trying this year she walked me through everything I should do** - **I knew it could take a while.

"Happy Eric is home, I imagine?" Gran winked at me knowingly.

I grinned and said nothing. I was always ridiculously cheerful and happy when he returned, that was true - but there was that little extra giddiness this time around - Gran probably felt it - but she was too polite to pressure me for information.

"Oh, Sookie, so when do I get to meet Eric?" Amy asked from her spot across the counter, where she was chopping carrots.

"He'll be here this evening, he wants to see Gran too," I told her.

"Jason told me he's some kind of hero around here," Amy smiled.

I grinned stupidly - I was so pathetically proud of him.

"Our Eric is a good man," Gran nodded. "All due to that wonderful mother of his - Helen Northman's a saint!"

Amy gaped. "The Helen Northman?" she stared at us, impressed. "I volunteered at one of her food and housing programs for the poor last year. That woman is my hero!"

"Yes, she's amazing, isn't she?" I nodded, looking at my potatoes. "Oh... I'm finished."

"Hey, I'm off to town to buy more beers, Gran's low on booze," Jason announced as he pranced into the kitchen.

"That's because I don't do _booze_, young man!" Gran glared at him. "Those cans in the back are from last time you kids were around."

"Sweet!" Jason grinned. "They'll taste awesome. Hey, Sook, what does Eric drink?"

"Nothing they'll have at the market in Bon Temps, Jase. Just bring whatever they have."

"Pfft, figures."

Jason left and I moved to the tomatoes. We spent the afternoon and early evening in the kitchen, getting to know Amy and chatting. It was only when dinner time was nearing that I started to worry – Eric should have been there already and he usually texted me before he got on the road to anywhere. I excused myself from the kitchen and dug up my cell phone from my purse, which was tossed on the couch – no new messages.

Huh…

Jason had been watching TV by himself and turned around when he sensed me standing there, staring at my phone.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah…" I turned and left to the front porch and call Eric.

It rang five times before he picked it up.

"_Hey, I know I'm late, I'm sorry,_" he said hurriedly and in hushed tones.

"Uhm… is everything OK? Something wrong with the car?"

There was a long pause. "_No… it's not the car. It's… I can't talk right now, Sookie. Tell Gran I'm sorry – you guys shouldn't wait for me. I'll see you guys later, OK?_"

"Uhm…"

"_I have to go. Love you._"

"But…"

My jaw dropped when he hung up. I stared at my phone, completely shocked and worried. I heard the door opening behind me; it was Jason, eyeing me strangely.

"Sook? Something wrong with Eric?"

"I don't know!" I said honestly. "He was just acting so weird…" I shook my head. "He said we shouldn't wait for him, that he'd be late."

"Oh… good, 'coz I'm starving!" Jason patted his stomach and started turning back towards the house.

That was the extension of Jason's concern – the line was drawn somewhere around his stomach. I rolled my eyes and followed him inside.

Dinner was fine. I concentrated on Jason and Amy instead of worrying about Eric. Whatever was holding him up should be important and he would tell me when he arrived. Gran didn't seem to be bothered or offended that he missed dinner, so I relaxed.

We forced Jason to help us clean up after dinner and chatted some more while doing dishes. I had a good feeling about Amy – she was the first girl Jason brought home that seemed to fit.

Once the kitchen was clean, Gran announced she was going to bed. Jason, Amy and I sat out on the porch, nursing a few beers and talking. I'd check my cell phone every once in a while, but there was never a text, or a call. It was just after midnight when Amy suggested they went to bed and we said goodnight.

I sat on the porch by myself, staring at my phone. Was now the right time to start panicking? The man should have been here 4 hours ago – and he could have at least called! Where the hell was he?

I stood up from the step I had been sitting on and dusted myself off, thinking about going to bed and worrying about giving Eric an earful in the morning. That was when I heard his car on the road. Finally.

I waited for him to pull over and turn the engine off before I stepped down to meet him. Eric got out of the car, looking grim. His hair as a bit messy, like he had been running his fingers through it repeatedly – his clothes looked a bit out of sort. When I stepped over he tried to smile and leaned down to kiss me. I detected alcohol on his breath and frowned – Eric was a casual drinker – he wasn't one to reek of booze – especially when he had been driving.

"Eric, what happened to you?"

"Oh! I thought I heard something!"

Gran stepped out on the porch and I whipped around in surprise.

"Gran, you should be sleeping!" I told her.

"I'm a big girl Sookie!" Gran chuckled. "I was reading a rather riveting novel and I guess the mystery of it all kept me awake!" she looked past me at Eric and smiled. "Hello Eric, dear!"

"Hello Adele," Eric called from behind me and to his credit, he didn't sound half as drunk as he smelled. "I'm so sorry I missed dinner."

"Oh, I'm sure you had a good reason!" Gran waved it away. "If you're hungry I can heat up dinner for you lickety split!"

"You're too kind, but I ate on the road," Eric said, putting the appropriate amount of embarrassment on his voice. "I hope I didn't wake you up."

"Oh no, of course you didn't," Gran smiled. "I just like a good mystery!"

"Well," I sighed, ready to move this party in doors. "We should _all_ just go to bed then. We have to hit the road early in the morning. Gran, go on inside it's chilly out here!"

After making sure Gran got back to bed and was properly under her covers with her windows sealed shut I finally made it back to my old room. Eric was sliding out of his jacket, looking tired, but also worried. I walked to the bed and started pulling the covers – it was a small bed but we'd manage. It wouldn't be the first time we had to sleep there.

"Did you remember your pajamas?" I whisper-shouted as I noticed he hadn't brought his duffel bag from the car. Our luggage was already in Jason's truck, but we had overnight bags for spending the night at Gran's.

Eric looked around at the room and finally sighed, shaking his head. "It's in the car with the rest of my stuff." He whispered back.

"Well, go get it and let's go to bed!"

Eric paused, watching me as I slid under the covers.

"You know what, I'll just use the shower downstairs so I won't wake anyone up and then I'll come back."

I watched him for a moment, holding my tongue as to not make any nasty comments about what he smelled like and how no shower would get rid of that. I just nodded and watched him leave. I frowned once I was alone – that wasn't like Eric – whatever had happened had done a number on him – but I could feel he was going to be quiet unless I pestered him about it.

As I heard the front door open and close as Eric went to the car, I realized I'd have to leave that for tomorrow.

xxxxxxx


	8. Chapter 8

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

I had gotten up, around 3am, to use the bathroom when I noticed I was alone in bed and decided to go looking for Eric. I found him asleep, sitting on the couch. The TV was on, on some random documentary channel – the remote was resting on his knee. I shuffled over to him and sat down, or rather planked down disastrously, causing the couch to bounce and Eric to wake up with a start.

"What?"Eric inhaled sharply, trying to sit up. "Sookie? What's wrong, are you feeling OK?" he turned to me, looking me up and down for something wrong.

"I'm fine, it's…. the baby weight throwing me off balance, I'm sorry," I said sheepishly, trying to sit a little more gracefully, but still half turned so I could face him.

"Oh…" he watched me for a moment and chuckled, leaning back again and relaxing. "You're still going to get bigger, you know? We might have to hire you one of those trolleys."

"Ha ha, very funny," I mock-punched him on the arm. "What were you doing sleeping on the couch? Was I snoring?"

"No, I just… couldn't sleep," he said, looking down and grabbing my hand to play with my fingers.

I narrowed my eyes at him, while he kept avoiding mine. I hadn't forgotten what happened before dinner – he looked really disturbed by something and refused to tell me what it was. Not even me sulking around got him to open up about it. I knew it had something to do with whatever he'd seen on his laptop, and part of me was almost thinking about sneaking into his e-mail to investigate. But the day I started looking through Eric's e-mail was the day I knew there was no fixing us – and I wasn't ready to give us up yet.

"Is this about whatever got you upset earlier?" I asked, tugging his hand to make him look at me.

Eric sighed and sank deeper into the couch, not looking me in the eyes yet. "Nothing's got me upset. I just can't sleep."

I sighed and pulled my hand away. Eric's eyes finally met mine and he looked disappointed.

"Sookie, it's just nothing worth talking about."

"But it's worth losing sleep over?" I pressed.

"I lose sleep all the time, sweetheart – it's not that unusual."

I bit my lip on that one. That I couldn't argue about – Eric was a light sleeper and he often slipped out of bed for one reason or another. When we first met I didn't quite understand why I'd find him staring out windows in the middle of the night – after a while I came to understand he sometimes got overwhelmed by what he'd seen out in the field.

"Fine, be that way," I sighed and shifted around so I could sink down next to him. Eric moved the ottoman in front of me and helped me put my feet over it. "Thanks," I smiled as he looked over his shoulder to make sure I was comfortable.

Eric sat back down, sinking back until we were shoulder to shoulder and then he handed me the remote. I started flipping through channels until I found something watchable – it turned out to be Norah Jones's New Orleans Concert.

"Hey look, it was the year we met!" I nudged Eric in case he was falling asleep beside me.

"Yeah it was," he mumbled sleepily.

I relaxed more as I kept watching, I started mouthing the lyrics of the songs I knew and moving my feet to the beat, for Eric's amusement, who chuckled beside me. He started playing with my fingers again and we ended up sitting through a lot of the show in quiet companionship. It was around the time Norah was performing "What Am I To You?" that I felt Eric start nuzzling my neck. I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine or the smile that cracked my lips when he tugged my earlobe between his teeth. I knew what he was thinking about and a delicious chill ran through me when I remembered that night. Warm, fuzzy feelings started spreading through me, and before I knew it I had turned my head to capture his mouth with mine. Eric kissed me back eagerly, cupping my face with his hand and then running his fingers through the length of my hair. I moaned happily into his kiss and, bracing my hands on his shoulders, I moved to straddle him on the couch – given my bump, it was the least awkward position I could get into. Eric shifted under me and pulled me closer before raiding kisses down my throat again. I sighed and dropped my head on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness so much – how I had missed him!

"Sookie," Eric whispered against the skin of my neck, the vibrations causing me to shudder pleasantly. "Do you remember…?"

I pulled away, only to cover his lips with mine again, taking advantage of his partially open mouth to sweep my tongue inside. Eric groaned against me, his right hand fisting into the hair at the back of my neck, while his left arm tugged me closer against him. I wanted to kiss the hell out of him, and maybe do other things I was definitely scared about doing while pregnant, but I had never been so tempted to try.

God knows where we would have ended – if it hadn't been for the sudden burst of movement inside me that caused us both to jump and halt all makey-outy activities. I pulled away, sitting back on Eric's knees and we both stared at my belly. The little guy was throwing a tantrum in there.

"Oh, Eric, I think the baby is jealous!" I giggled.

Eric smiled in a daze, staring at my bump. He put his hands on my sides to be able to feel it. "Possessive, are we?" he muttered to the baby.

I placed my hands on top of his and smiled when he looked up at me. "Isn't it awesome?"

Eric smiled back and nodded, his eyes stayed on mine though. "You're everything I ever wanted, you know that?"

I couldn't help but blush like 2002 Sookie would have – and had – at those words. I nodded and rubbed the back of his hands before I started to move. Eric helped me back on my feet and then stood up. We switched off the TV and walked hand in hand back to bed.

The baby continued to kick and dance up a storm inside me – meaning I couldn't go back to sleep straight away, but Eric kept me company, one hand on my belly and after he talked to the baby for a while, the little guy finally settled down.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2002**

It was one of those spur of the moment decisions. So it wasn't like I could stomp and yell at him for being with another woman.

I had been more than a little nervous and confused for the past couple of weeks. Meeting Eric the way I had, falling so quickly for him, knowing he led a life style that wasn't conducive to romance – plus him being my boss's brother. I chickened out – what can I say? I was in my early 20s, still fighting to be taken seriously at my job – Eric was slightly older, way more settled in his life, and had life goals that were… well… intimidating. So after we'd been seeing each other for maybe a month and Eric mentioned going to a conference thing with his mentor in Haiti and how he might be stationed there for a while I freaked out – I thought I couldn't possibly do long distance. Mind you, he hadn't even mentioned expecting me to wait around for him – I guess that was the other part that made me nervous too – that for all his careful planning, he didn't seem to be worried about fitting me anywhere.

So yes, I definitely couldn't blame him for moving on when _I_ had said we probably should just stop seeing each other. But it stung anyway.

I started thinking maybe it was a bad idea to just drop by like this when I said he should take someone else. I was already blaming Pam for the sudden decision to come anyway.

It was a ball in honor of some big shot Doctor in New Orleans who had just announced the opening of a new Children's Hospital. Pam had caught me sulking at work and told me to just be ready to go at 5. I had stared at her at a loss – she rolled her eyes at me and reached into a bag, pulling a plastic-covered clothing hanger and laying it on my desk and said I probably would have shoes to go with it before she stalked away.

Well, I guess I was going to the ball after all. The more I thought about it, the better an idea it seemed. It was spontaneous and romantic and it made me feel like some sappy novel heroine – it felt awesome.

The awesomeness soon morphed into shame and horror as I made it into the hotel ball room just to find a skinny, platinum blonde clinging to him like a barnacle. They were standing on a corner next to the dancing floor – Eric's back to the large pillar behind him and he was laughing at whatever the blonde was saying to him. There was familiarity between them – I could tell. The blonde was making sure every part of her was touching every part of him, and even though he had his hands in his pockets and wasn't actively groping her, it didn't seem to bother him that she was.

In that moment I felt ridiculous. What was I thinking coming here like I was the trophy he had been hoping for? I started to turn around, ready to make a beeline for the door when I heard someone calling my name. I froze and quickly turned around.

"Sookie! It is you!" Steve Newlin beamed at me as he approached.

I had met Steve at Helen Northman's Charity Brunch as well, and later at another outing in New Orleans. He was a cool guy as far as I knew, so I relaxed and smiled at him.

"Hey Steve, I should have known you would be here."

"Don't you look pretty? Did you come with Eric?"

"Uhm… no," I said and suddenly panicked, seeing Eric and blonde barnacle had disappeared. "I came by myself."

Steve tilted his head at that, before taking a good look at me and grinning. "Lucky me, I guess." He offered me his arm. "Would you care to dance, Miss Stackhouse?"

I really wanted to get out of there so bad, before Eric saw me. But Steve was a nice guy, who was probably just trying to be nice to the girl who had so obviously walked into a social trap. I nodded and took his arm, letting him lead me to the middle of the floor.

"So, I hear you work with Pam?" Steve said, by way of making conversation while we danced.

"Yes, I do. She uh…." I looked around. "She should be here somewhere, she drove me," I smiled sheepishly.

"Did she?" He stretched his neck around trying to catch a glimpse of her somewhere. "Is she trying to steal you from Eric or something? I think that's hot!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, nothing like that."

"Shame," his shoulder sagged in mock-disappointment. "You know most of Eric's residency colleagues are here tonight?"

"I would think so, since you are here," I nodded. "Why do you live in New Orleans, by the way?"

"It's a temporary situation," Steve shrugged. "I still have my flat in Shreveport and I'll move back when Brigant decides to pick me up again."

"So, you're not going back to the program?" I found it was easier to just keep talking, and forget about why I was there in the first place.

"Uh, yeah, now…" Steve seemed suddenly embarrassed. "Don't get me wrong – the experience was amazing. But I missed home too much – and I missed knowing what the hell I was doing."

I smiled. "There's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone's cut out for that kind of life."

"Definitely not me," Steve shook his head. "I'm not made of the right stuff." He paused, looking somewhere above my head. "Now our boy Eric? He's perfect for that. You should have seen him back there – he did splendidly."

I nodded sadly, looking down between us. Yes, Sookie, that's why you had pushed him away in the first place remember?

"Yes, I imagine he did," I finally said.

Steve changed subjects then, and I tried to keep up and nod politely at the right places, but I wanted out of here. As soon as he let me go I'd just find Pam and tell her I was leaving. If she decided to stay I would just get on a bus back to Shreveport – party dress and all.

"May I cut in?"

A pleasant chill ran down my spine at the smooth sound of his voice. I stopped dancing almost immediately and Steve and I looked up at the towering man beside us. Without barnacle girl stuck to him I could see how handsome he looked in a tux.

"Sure thing," Steve winked at me and gave my hand over to Eric. "Sookie," he nodded at me before walking away.

I stared up at Eric as he pulled me closer, easing his hands around the small of my back and hip. I slid my arms around his shoulders automatically and tried to think of something smart to say.

"You look beautiful," he said, stealing from my lips anything I could have come up with. "Please tell me you didn't come as Steve's date?"

My mouth hung open for a second until I caught the mirth in his eyes and I chuckled along with him.

"Uhm… he's really nice!" I shrugged.

"Mine!" Eric growled playfully yanking me closer and up to cover my lips with his. I didn't kiss him back at first out of sheer shock but melted quickly, wrapping my arms tight around his neck. "Mine," he repeated in a whisper against my lips. I think my legs would have given out if he wasn't holding me against him.

"What about the blonde barnacle?" I asked, trying to get a hold of myself and remember I was mad at him, even though I didn't have the right to be.

"Who?" he arched his eyebrows, genuinely confused.

I sighed, sliding my hands off him and stepping back. "I need some air…"

Eric grasped my hand before I could escape. "There's a garden outside, come."

I let him lead me through some large sliding glass doors onto a nice patio overlooking a very well kept walking garden. We walked over to the balustrade and I turned around, leaning against it to face him.

"The blonde you were making out with earlier?" I asked, feeling the color rise to my cheeks.

"Ginger?" Eric watched me carefully.

"That's her name?" I couldn't help making a face.

Eric smiled sheepishly, shoving his hands down his pockets. "Ginger will make out with anything standing still long enough, Sookie."

I narrowed my eyes. "Really?"

"Ask Steve," he shrugged. "She's just a colleague who had a little too much to drink."

"Well, it doesn't matter…" I tried holding on to my anger. "I shouldn't have come anyway." I started pushing away from the balustrade.

"Sookie…" Eric stepped closer, forcing me to step back again and rested his hands on either side of me, caging me between his arms. "I'm glad you came. I really wanted you to come."

I looked away, unable to sustain the intense blue of his eyes. "Eric, don't…" I tried pushing his at his arms so I could get away.

"Don't what?" He leaned in closer, his lips hovering over mine like a lovely threat.

"Don't be so…" I sighed. "Irresistible."

Eric chuckled and pulled away only a little, touching his forehead to mine. "I would think that was what _you_ were doing."

"No… I'm just being a stalkering bitch," I covered my face with my hands. "What was I thinking coming here after you?"

"Sookie," he pulled my hands away from my face. "All I care about is what you're thinking right now."

I looked up into his eyes again; they looked so intense and expectant, and beautiful. I sighed.

The first notes to "What am I to You?" started playing and we burst into silly smiles and chuckles. The performer's voice was lovely and throaty and I closed my eyes, listening to the words while Eric wrapped his arms around me firmly. I lay my head on his chest while he swayed us gently – his heart beat soothed me and I tightened my hold around his waist.

"I'm sorry about the mixed signals," I said quietly, with my head on his chest. It was easier to be honest without looking in his eyes – less frightening. "I've just been… confused."

"I have been too," he confessed, running a hand down my back. "But in the best way possible."

I pulled away slightly to be able to look up at him and threw him an inquisitive look. He smiled, running his knuckles over my cheek.

"I don't know how to do this any better than you do, Sookie," his eyes raked over me hungrily. "But fuck… you're everything I've always wanted." His eyes found mine again and I felt my breath escape me. "That much I know… and I'm going to fight you until you give in."

I attacked him more viciously than barnacle girl. My fingers wove into his hair and I stood on my toes to reach him better. Eric wasted no time and lifted me onto the balustrade, spreading my knees so he could come closer. I kissed him like my life depended on it – maybe it did. He was everything I've always wanted too. I didn't even know I was so greedy.

"We should get out of here before they call the cops on us," Eric said when he was able to pull away for air.

I grinned and nodded, shoving my face into his shoulder, knowing I was blushing from head to toe. I let him help me down and smoothed my dress before we made our way back inside. We weaved our way around several people, a lot of them seemed to know Eric as they waved and nodded. We burst into laughter when we finally made it outside and we switched into a jog until we reached his car. We drove back to his apartment – and we never looked back.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I strode into my sister's office building early on Friday morning. It was appalling how hard it was to get to Pam even when you were family – but after several stops to explain who I was and what I was doing here I was finally walked into her office where she waited for me with an impatient look.

"Whatever it is you need couldn't wait until Sunday? I have a magazine o run!" She scolded me with her hands on her hips.

"No, it can't," I said and then I eyed the two assistants standing by, they looked back at me with their mouths hanging.

"Out!" Pam shooed them once she got over herself. She closed the door and walked over to her desk. "So, what is it?" she asked off-handedly as she started sifting through several papers on her desk that looked like drafts.

"I need your help tonight."

She looked up at me. "No! No, Eric, you're not standing your pregnant wife up tonight!"

"I'm _not_ standing her up," I said quickly. "But I'm going to be late."

"No!" Pam sat down, glaring at me. "Eric, what the fuck? You haven't been home a month and you're already chaffing my ass! I don't care what horrible man-eating disease it is, don't screw up tonight! You know how these functions make her nervous!"

"I do Pam. But trust me, I _can't_ be there on time and I _can't_ tell you why and you should probably thank me for that."

Pam rolled her eyes. "I doubt it! What do you want me to do?"

"I need you to stand in for me till I get there." I knew it was a lot to ask, especially the no questions asked part, but Pam was the only person I could even attempt to play this card with.

She stared at me long and hard and narrowed her eyes. "Fine… but if I find out you're doing something you shouldn't Eric, I'll draw up your divorce papers myself."

"Fine."

The entire day seemed to drag for me and I went about doing what I had to do feeling nauseated the whole time. Steve dropped by to talk to me a couple of times but I think he sensed I wasn't quite there because he didn't stick around long either of the times. I was getting ready to head out around 6; I had just changed and was closing my locker when Crystal appeared behind me.

"Hey Doc!" she looked at me with a knowing smile.

I looked around us, wondering how the hell she had got in here. "Crystal, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing," she shrugged. "Just came to check on you. You are looking pretty glum today."

"Yeah, tell me about it," I muttered reaching for the hanger of the garment bag that had been lying on the bench next to me. I had brought the tux over with me so I could change between the hotel and Claudine's party.

"Going somewhere fancy tonight?" Crystal asked.

"I would say so."

"Doc," she patted my arm. "I don't know what's got your panties in a twist but hear me out. Fix that look on your face before you see your wife, or you'll be in the dog house all weekend long."

"Thanks, Crystal."

"You're welcome, Doc." She reached into her pocket and handed me a pager. "You forgot this at the nurse's station," she winked and turned around to leave.

I looked at my pager, my eyes narrowing as I read the message. "_You better not be too late, Eric or I'm killing you myself! Love Pam." _I snorted – only Pam could end a threat with "love".

There wasn't any way I could avoid this, so I put the pager away and started heading for the parking lot.

The Forrester was a five-star hotel pretty known for its conference rooms. Many businessmen who brought their business to town, checked in at the Forrester. I knew my father had used it countless times… I shook my head, chasing those thoughts away as I pulled over and nodded to the valet walking my way.

"Good evening, sir."

I gave him my keys and walked straight through the entrance. The lobby was busy as usual, and I looked around, searching for her face. When I remembered where our last encounter had taken place, I started making my way to the bar.

And there she was, staring into her glass of wine, poised at the edge of her chair with her back in a straight line – just like I remembered her. Felicia Foster was a tall, regal looking blonde with the face of aristocracy that could have anyone fooled. Her burgundy dress and jewelry were deceiving as well – why were men so stupid?

I swallowed, hesitating, and almost considering turning around and leaving. But she chose that moment to look up and smile at me. I sighed, and taking another sweeping look at the bar to make sure no other familiar faces were around I walked over to her table and sat down.

"You look good, Eric," Felicia smiled warmly, sliding the menu over the table for me. "My treat."

I looked at the menu before looking back up. "What is this about Felicia?"

Her smile faded and she looked instantly deflated, her shoulders sagged a bit and she stared into her wine glass again. "I'm sorry I had to come to you again. I know how you feel about me." She looked up, her face showing she held no contempt over that fact. "But you're the only one I _can_ contact." I narrowed my eyes and nodded for her to continue. "Axel refuses to speak with me," she admitted in a strangled voice, looking down at the table between us, while swiveling her wine glass between her now trembling hands.

I had been leaning slightly but pulled back, fighting not to roll my eyes – why the hell should I care?

"Why do you think dragging me into your lovers' spat with my father will do you any good?" I argued. "Felicia I did all the patching I could years ago and I've had to come and clean up more often than not in the following years. I told you both I want nothing to do with this."

"I know…" Felicia looked at me with tearful eyes. "I know all you did was to protect your mother and your sister," she paused. "But you were always fair to me… and your half-sister."

I shifted in my seat, my level of discomfort increasing. "Is Jessica here?"

"She's sleeping in the hotel room," she smiled tenderly. "You know, she always asks about you."

I wanted to snap at her for being such a manipulative bitch – but truth was, no matter what Felicia had done for all the respect and admiration I had for my dad, she had never tried to ruin our family – I knew a lot of it had to do with the fact she respected me. She may not be an angel, she may have seduced my father with her elegant ways and nice dresses and long legs and blonde hair, but I couldn't quite hate her because once Jessica came to be she became the poster girl for the good mother and silent secret mistress.

I looked around for a waiter and waved my hand, as soon as he came over I ordered vodka and turned my attention back to my father's lover, she watched me expectantly.

"What happened?" I asked.

Felicia smiled hopefully at me and started telling me about what had transpired in the last three months and I was glad the vodka arrived soon – it was instrumental in my digesting the whole thing. Fuck – when did managing my father and his backup-family became my chore?

xxxxx


	9. Chapter 9

xxxxxx

**SPOV – three months earlier**

Claudine was sniggering into her martini next to me while I rolled my eyes and swiveled my straw into my now dull coke. We were in the _Matte Lounge_ to meet with some executives and they were running fashionably late, which gave us some time for girl talk.

"Stop it, Claudine!" I hissed, smoothing the front of my shirt, useless as there weren't any wrinkles, just a growing baby bump. "You're making it sadder than it already is."

"Oh Sookie, it isn't sad!" Claudine comforted me, resting her glass on the counter and looking around for our party. "I think Alcide Herveaux is a hunk of a man – and an excellent photographer!"

I sighed, staring around as well. "It looks like I'm trying to cut corners and find a replacement for Eric," I sulked shamefully. "I can't quite kick him out now either."

Claudine rolled her eyes at me. "Sookie, look at me, sweetie," I did. "Are you planning on sleeping with him?"

"No!" I gasped in outrage.

"Were you _ever_?" she narrowed her eyes.

I blushed and swigged my incredibly dull-tasting coke. "I confess I might have entertained the idea for maybe good-ten-minutes when I was particularly angry at Eric."

"Well, but it's gone now, isn't it?" Claudine reminded me. "Relax. It doesn't matter – he'll be out soon and Eric doesn't even have to know."

"I don't care about that!" I said rebelliously but Claudine narrowed her eyes at me. "I _don't_!"

"Sweetheart you're a lone pregnant woman, trying to survive an ongoing relationship crisis the long-distance way. You're entitled your odd little moments."

"I sure wish I could see it that way. I just feel pathetic…" I gagged at the end of my drink. "And this tastes like shit."

"Next time drink it before it fizzes out, silly," Claudine grabbed her handbag. "I'm going to the little girl's room. Care to join me?"

I cocked my eyebrows. "Are you kidding me? I'm prego, I _always_ want to pee."

We made our way to the ladies room to take care of our business. On my way out I noticed there were a lot more women filing in. Some big party had arrived but I had a feeling it wasn't ours.

"Claudine?" I knocked on the door to her booth. "I'll wait outside. It's too hot in here."

Once out in the main lounge I could see indeed a huge party of suits had arrived – a lot of Japanese too. I started making my way back to the bar and suddenly ran into someone disastrously.

"Oh, dear Lord, I'm sorry!" I stepped back from the towering woman I had collided with. "I wasn't looking…"

"It's alright dear!" the woman smiled and looked down at my shirt. "Let me clean this for you."

I looked down and realized half the content of the woman's glass had ended up all over my front. I blushed embarrassedly at being dabbed at like a toddler in the middle of the bar.

"Oh how far along are you?" she asked gently, after she noticed my bump.

"Ten weeks," I smiled, relaxing a little.

"Is it your first?" she asked smiling.

"…yes… yes it is my first," I said, a shadow of grief gripping me momentarily.

"Well you're going to love it," the woman smiled. "I'm Felicia, by the way."

"Sookie," I offered her my hand, old habits die hard, I guess. We weren't doing business and she was female, but I couldn't help myself.

Her eyes flickered curiously for a moment and she scanned me once again, more carefully this time, as we shook hands.

"Sookie, huh? That's such a different name."

I blushed. "You're not from the South are you?"

She giggled. "No, but still, it can't be that common."

"No, I suppose not," I stared at her half-empty glass. "I'm sorry about your drink."

She waved it away. "I'm trying to cut back anyway." I smiled; she was so lovely a stranger. "You're prettier than I…" she stopped herself and her eyes widened. I frowned curiously and she flushed deep red, looking down at her drink. "You're very pretty, Sookie." She seemed to correct herself.

I hesitated – unsure it was normal for women you just met to pay you a compliment like that over a spilled glass of wine.

"Well, thank you, Felicia," I cleared my throat. "You're gorgeous. I hope I manage to look that good after I give birth…" it was my turn to flush when she looked at me strangely. "I'm sorry I just assumed you…"

"I have a 4-year-old," she nodded with another bright smile. "Nearly 5."

"That sounds like a great age."

"Oh goodness, it is," she laughed. "The things they get up to!" she continued and her eyes sparkled with pride, I couldn't help but beam back at her. "They outsmart you at every turn!"

I felt a strange tingle, like the one you get when you're being watched and I blinked before chancing a look across the bar towards the elevated entrance to the _Matte Lounge_ – I was surprised to see my father-in-law, Axel, standing right there, seemingly in a trance, staring at the two of us. There was an unmistakable look of panic in his blue eyes and I frowned. I tried to smile at him, but it was then I noticed he had been staring at Felicia, not me.

"…you'll see you're going to love being a mother. Nothing beats it."

I turned my attention back to the lovely woman and nodded, in a bit of a daze myself. I chanced another look over the entrance and realized Axel was now striding towards us purposefully – I had seen that look often – it was the Northman-I-mean-serious-business look – even Helen had it, by association.

"Sookie, darling!" he said gently, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. "I didn't know you would be here tonight," he slid a hand against the small of my back. "How have you both been doing?" he smiled at my bump as he said it.

"We've been fine," I smiled, and my eyes automatically went to Felicia who was watching Axel in a similar panic I had witnessed from him. "I'm sorry, do you know each other?" I pointed between them.

Felicia paled a little and titled her head to regard Axel, while father-in-law smiled a tight-lipped smile.

"Felicia is an old business associate from New Orleans. I believe she's here for our conference in the morning?" Axel said breezily.

"Yes, of course," Felicia smiled, less warmly now. "Sookie, sorry once again. Have a great evening!"

"Uhm… same to you!" I said a bit louder as she was already making a fast retreat.

"Did you two… know each other?" Axel asked as he started steering us towards the bar.

"What? No, we just met. She's adorable, though – why have I never seen her at any of your functions or charity brunches?"

Axel hesitated as he sat me on my stool and seemed to be about to speak when we were briskly interrupted by Claudine colliding with him in an enthusiastic embrace.

"Axel, long time no see!"

Claudine and the Northmans went way back. If I had a job at WVN it was because Pam put us in touch and everything progressed from there. Claudine was a bubbly personality and soon all the awkwardness from the previous moment was forgotten as she steered Axel into a confusing but hilarious discussion having to do with the Publishing Industry and the lack of interest Northman Corp had shown it over the years. Axel brushed it off to "This is Pam's field," before politely excusing himself back to his own party.

"Oh, _finally_!" Claudine peeped not two minutes after he was gone, grabbing my hand. "Our people are here, come on!"

Our table turned out to not be far from Axel's table – and the strangeness of the setting kept growing on me. Axel looked uncomfortable – there was a tiny, little, suited man seated between him and the elegant Felicia who looked more uncomfortable and out of place by the minute. Sometimes I'd catch her looking at me, and she'd quickly look away, or smile sheepishly. Axel avoided my eyes all night – I also noticed I didn't recognize any of those business associates from before.

After we were done and Claudine and I were walking to our respective cars I got a text from Alcide, letting me know Jason needed him to drive to New Orleans during the night so I wouldn't find it strange to find an empty apartment. I was secretly glad he was going. More and more I regretted my invitation, more and more I wondered what the hell I was really doing. Was I so desperate for love? Was I just _that _vengeful? Thanks to Alcide being a true gentleman, I didn't think I would ever find out. Thinking about my new housemate made me forget all about the strange evening with my elusive father-in-law and the mysteriously beautiful business associate.

xxxxxx

**EPOV**

I drove across town to get o Claudine Crane's penthouse, gripping the steering-wheel so hard I was afraid I could crack it. Between Felicia's story and Pam's annoying texts I was losing my shit. Felicia met Sookie – Felicia met Sookie – I couldn't get over the potential disaster. Felicia and my father had had fight after fight after that – he was convinced she had planned it. I had to confess, at least to myself, that the idea did occur to me too. What was it that they said about a woman scorned? Well I didn't have time to think about that now – I had to get to the damn party and get to my wife before she started having wild ideas. Pam sounded pretty pissy, which probably meant Sookie was getting impatient.

It wasn't like it was a huge effort for Pam to be there tonight. Those were her people too – but Pam was a snob when it came to the television people. I tried to put everything else behind me for the time being – my pregnant wife needed me – my father and Felicia be damned – I'd manage them later.

I changed in the back of my car, thanks to my tinted windows – it was still a pretty difficult task, but finally I made it out and to the elevator, right in time for another of Pam's text: _She's sniffly, Eric! SNIFFLY!_ Oh great…

The first thing that hit me when I walked through the sliding doors was a waft of hot air – Claudine's AC clearly wasn't holding it. There were too many people inside – the smell of wine as strong as the heat. Claudine was on me faster than a speeding bullet, wearing one of her classic smug smiles and earrings heavier than her head.

"Nice of you to show up, Dr. Northman!" she tilted her head at me and kissed m cheek jovially. "I thought I wouldn't be seeing you for a while but…" her eyes scanned over my tux and back. "I'm glad you're back early."

"Thanks, Claudine," I adjusted my tie and looked around. Even being taller than everyone in the room, it wasn't easy to spot her in that ant-farm for the rich and wordy. "Where's Sookie?"

"Last I saw her she was by the balcony with Pam," Claudine nodded towards the right direction. "You better swoop in."

"Yeah, thanks."

It didn't take long to find her after that – she was just where Claudine said she would be, standing next to the balcony where a nice breeze was coming through. She looked beautiful in a knitted, pale, cream dress that came right above her knees and I marveled at her ability to wear high-heels while sporting the baby weight without looking like she was in severe pain or about to fall. In fact, she looked nothing like Pam had described her in the texts – she was smiling and laughing with a glass of what I hoped was a virgin martini. It was then I realized she wasn't just talking to Pam, but with an elegant couple. I immediately recognized Dr. Lorena Krasiki in a dark blue, long dress – at her arm was a dark-haired, pale, sullen-looking man – it was probably the husband Sookie had mentioned earlier in the week. Pam was next to Sookie and she had already seen me and she was glaring daggers at me – I ignored her and parted my way through the crowd easily.

"Well, look who's here!" Pam chimed when I approached.

Sookie and the handsome couple, who had all been enthralled in each other, finally looked up at me and I smiled as calmly as I could. Sookie scanned me up and down; Lorena smiled and touched her husband's arm, turning the both of them to face me better.

"Darling, this is Dr. Eric Northman, Sookie's husband. Eric, this is my husband Bill Compton."

Bill Compton nodded politely and we shook hands – he offered me a tiny smile, but he was the picture of boredom. I wondered if it was the entire party or just their little gathering in the corner.

"Nice to meet you," I said before sliding next to Sookie and kissing her temple. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's OK. Pam told me something came up at the hospital," Sookie said understandingly as she smoothed the front of my jacket.

I cocked an eyebrow at Pam over her head and she sneered at me and shrugged, dipping her wine glass back to drain its contents. Fucking Pam and her terrorism.

"We were just discussing boring stuff anyway," Sookie continued happily sliding her hand onto mine. "Did you know Lorena…?"

It was a bit of a Twilight Zone collision. Sookie carried on chatting and smiling like there was nothing wrong and I kept chancing glances at Pam to get a clue at how much in trouble I was in, but I was being summarily ignored in favor of Lorena. My sister had never been one to flirt discreetly when she was really into someone, but this was a married woman, for God's sakes. To mess even more with my unbalanced sense of normalcy it seemed to me like Lorena was flirting right back, with her husband _right there_. The husband, on the other hand, seemed to be focused on Sookie and whatever the hell it was she was saying – which I should probably have been paying attention to as she kept throwing me those glances wives throw ya where you know you should nod or smile, so that's what I did for the full twenty-minutes we were stuck there. The group finally dispersed when Sookie excused herself to go to the bathroom and Pam dragged me away to have a drink. I looked over my shoulder to see Lorena adjusting the lapels on Bill's jacket while he smiled at her. Definitely a Twilight Zone moment.

"Whatever the fuck you were doing had better be worth it. This is fucking boring!" Pam said as she shoved a glass in my hand and grabbed another for herself. "Can you believe that Bill Compton? It's like he has a cork shoved up his ass!"

"Perhaps it has something to do with how you were sizing up his wife in front of him," I sipped my drink and kept my eyes on the door to the ladies room.

Pam snorted next to me, forcing me to look down. "He was busy checking _your_ wife's chest. Pregnancy boobs _do_ look great on her, I can't blame him." She casually sipped her wine again.

I frowned at her, completely disturbed. "Ok, enough about my wife's boobs, you lost the right to comment on them in the treaty of 2006, remember?"

Pam snorted again. "How could I forget?"

It suddenly downed on me what Pam had been saying before and my eyes flashed between Bill Compton, who was now talking to Claudine and some other suited-up, balding-librarian type and back at my sister. She arched an eyebrow at me and shrugged. I drained my glass and put it down on the bar, turning in time to see Sookie walking back to us. She smiled and snuggled into me comfortably, to my complete surprise – I didn't know we were back to public displays of affection already.

"Tired?" I asked, taking a whiff of her luxuriously long hair. She smelled like cinnamon.

She nodded against my chest and though I couldn't see her face, I guessed she was staring off sleepily somewhere. I rubbed a hand up and down her arm, enjoying the fact she wasn't mad at me. Pam decided we were boring and scuttled off somewhere else.

"So, will I ever know where you really went tonight?" Sookie asked casually.

I froze, pausing the movement of my hand on her arm. She didn't stiffen and she didn't look up at me, but I didn't quite know what to make of it. I was silent a moment too long, I guess, and she sighed, apparently conformed to not receiving any answers, but I didn't want it to be that way. I circled her hip and pulled her closer, turning to her in the process – her warm, liquid eyes met mine and I swallowed dry.

"Sookie…?"

"You're here," she interrupted me and there was a quiet scrutiny to the way her eyes roamed about my face. "It must mean something that you are… and I want to believe that it means you want to be here. But there's this part of you… no…" she looked down momentarily. "Parts of you that never are. I've been losing them along the way," she couldn't look me in the eye now and I was glad, I don't think I could have held her gaze if she did. "I'm scared of what that means, Eric, I've been scared for a long time." She finally looked up again, her eyes glazed over with unshed tears that nearly broke me.

"How long?" I heard myself asking from what felt like a great distance.

"Vegas," she whispered and her gaze fell again. She patted my chest reassuringly and pulled away. "I need to pee again."

She disappeared into the crowd, leaving me to stare at her retreating form, feeling like someone who had just been dropped in a maze. A maze I created – and what I managed to lose was my path to Sookie.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2007**

"_Dr. Eric Northman?_"

I made a sound like an affirmative into the receiver – the room was spinning a little. My shades were closed and I had no idea how early, or how late it was, but I was jetlagged.

"_Dr. Northman?_" the voice repeated again.

"Yes," I said hoarsely. "Who is this?"

There was a pause. "_I'm Mark Raffle, I'm the doorman at Reinheart Tower II._"

I frowned into the dark. "Whatever it is, you should be calling Axel Northman. I have no part in his Real Estate business, Mr. Raffle."

"_I know… Dr. Northman. This is about something a bit more personal than that." _There was another uncomfortable long pause and I slowly sat up in bed. "_Mr. Northman told me if I should ever call anyone with an emergency, it should be you. Dr. Northman, you should come here immediately._"

I dressed blindly, finally remembering to check my cell phone for the time, it was a little after 4pm. I had landed not 72 hours ago and Sookie and I had plans to go to Vegas for Memorial Day. I looked at my luggage, safely packed on the corner and silently thanked Sookie – I knew she would be in Bon Temps now. I hoped whatever this was wouldn't ruin Vegas.

Reinheart Tower II was one of several residential buildings my father had purchased for his Real Estate segment. Driving there with little but a "you should come immediately" didn't smell good. Why did it have to be me? What was this about? Where was my father that he couldn't handle this himself.

I parked in front of the building and was immediately met up by Mark Raffle, who quickly grabbed my keys and whispered "eleventh floor." I stared at him inquisitively, but when I got nothing in return I simply turned and strode into the building, making a straight line for the elevators. I had never been inside one of these – but they were fancier than I had anticipated. The ride up made me think of a number of horrible possibilities – maybe a murder-suicide? Maybe it was a celebrity? Maybe there were drugs? Why the fuck was that _my_ responsibility?

As I came out onto the hall, it became clearing the Reinheart II was a one-apartment per floor kind of building and the front door was ajar. Well, here goes nothing as I pushed it open.

Nothing prepared me for what I found inside. No bodies, no drugs, no mafia meeting gone-wrong, no high-strung semi-celebrity threatening jump off the balcony. No. What I found was my father, sprawled on some unknown couch, in what seemed to be a drunken stupor. There was furniture everywhere and across from him, in tears, sat a tall, blonde holding her wrist close to her chest.

"You must be Eric," she sniffled at me.

My eyes went from her to my father and back. "Jesus Christ, miss, are you alright?"

I dropped to my knees and gently took her apparently wounded arm in my hands, she flinched at first, but let me. It was a light sprain and I could feel the color draining from my face as realization hit me.

"Did my father…?"

"Oh, it's not as bad as it looks," she laughed sheepishly. "We were both a bit angry and I pulled away forcefully." She paused, darkly. "It's not like I let him unmarked anyway," she nodded at his sprawled form.

I looked over my shoulder, at my father, who seemed to be coming back to himself. There was a light cut on his chin and scratch marks under his left eye.

"Jesus Christ," I shook my head, wanting to disappear.

"He was a bit disturbed when I told him I'm pregnant," the strange woman revealed to me in a trembling voice.

I stared back at her, wishing, praying this was a horrible nightmare. "Excuse me?"

"It's not like I didn't give him reasons to suspect me," she sniffled, staring at my father and not at me. "Flaunting another man in front of him was the wrong way to get his attention."

Please let me be anywhere but here, God.

As it turned out – the woman was one Felicia Foster, Maine native, met father at Mardi Gras three years ago. They had _fallen in love_ or however you want to name whatever the fuck they were doing. Father got her a flat and paid her expenses and she was his silent mistress. They had been fighting more often lately, according to the stranger I just met, and she wanted to force him into leaving my mother, so she started having an affair herself. The fighting got worse and then she found out she was pregnant – father was a bit suspicious, he had already been drinking when he arrived, and the rest, like they say, it's history. Your typical domestic violence story – except both deserved each other for all I could tell.

After fixing Felicia's wrist and taking care of my father's wounds I went into the lavatory and just let go of all the contents of my stomach. I had no idea who that man lying undignifiedly on the couch was, but I sure as hell hope it wasn't my father. My mother, my sister, hell… our entire family did _not_ deserve this. I couldn't recognize him anymore.

I just wasn't aware soon I wouldn't be recognizing myself either.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

I was so sleepy by the time we made into the garage, Eric had to open the door for me and gently pull me to my feet. I wrapped my arm loosely around his waist and let him lead me to the elevators. He had grown increasingly quiet as the night wore on and I was too tired to make light conversation so I guess we just let it be. I giggled stupidly at the pathetic rendition of _Free Bird_ that was blaring from the elevator's speakers. Eric rubbed my arm up and down and chuckled lightly, knowing my odd sense of musical humor. He knew I was thinking about that bizarre Orlando Bloom movie.

Anywhere outside of Claudine's penthouse was pleasantly cool and breezy, our apartment was no different. I headed for the kitchen for a tall glass of water and made it to our room to see Eric getting rid of his shoes sitting at the foot of the bed. I leaned against the doorframe and smiled at him.

"You always looked so handsome in a tux," I told him drowsily.

He cocked an impertinent eyebrow at me. "If you weren't pregnant, Sookie, I'd be questioning your sobriety."

I giggled and started kicking off my own shoes. "I know… it's called pregnancy. It's adorable."

"Wait, wait…" he rushed to me before I lost my balance and rid me of my shoes for me. "There."

"Thank you," I smiled up at him.

"I'll tuck you in," he told me and swooped me up in bridal style, I giggled stupidly and let him lie me on the bed. "I didn't get a chance to say this, but you looked beautiful tonight, sweetheart," he kissed the bridge of my nose as he started sliding down my pantyhose.

"I know," I sighed, lifting my knees to help him. "And it was all for you." I closed my eyes and tried to slide up in bed to lay my head more comfortably on the pillow. "We were looking dapper together."

"Yes, we were," he agreed while he struggled to get at the zipper behind my head. "A little help, Sookie."

I sighed and lifted my torso up a little, letting him slide it down before carefully removing the knitted material. I closed my eyes again and laid back.

"We looked even better than the Comptons," I said stupidly. "And they looked awesome didn't they?"

"I guess," Eric said somewhere in the room, I guessed he had gone to dispose of my dress on some armchair or in the closet.

"They have an open marriage, you know?" I said offhandedly as I felt him working the clasp of my pearl necklace and then my earrings.

There was a halt in his activities and when he spoke again I guess his voice was strange. "How does that work?"

"Beats me," I shrugged frowning, unsure why I had even brought it up. "I guess… it's what works for them."

"Uh huh…" Eric said uncertainly.

I lay there another moment, in silence, almost falling completely asleep. But when I felt Eric's hands going for the front clasp of my bra my eyes shot open and I stilled his hands with mine. He looked at me surprised, and then hurt.

"Get my nightgown," I told him.

He nodded, pulled away and disappeared into the closet. I struggled into the gown and started babbling more about the people at the party. Eric started getting himself ready for bed as he nodded or "uh huhed" me some more. I managed to remove my bra and underwear from inside the nightgown and tossed them onto a chair – Eric just looked at me and shook his head as he got into bed in only his boxers.

"Was it really all for me?" He asked me as he ran his hand over my bump gently.

I fought the urge to swat his hand off and tell him to go fuck himself. "It had all been for the Eric who arrived on time and didn't make his sister babysit me. Let me know when you see him." I turned my back to him and pretended to go to sleep.

He kissed my shoulder, unaware of the risk he was taking and then moved to lie on his other side. I pouted a little, wishing he had fought a bit harder for my attention.

At some point during the night I woke up to find myself snuggling into him, his nose buried in my head. I sighed. I seemed no matter how tough I tried to be I always ended up giving in to him. I rolled my eyes at myself and just lay there until sleep came to claim me again.

I loved the motherfucker.

xxxxxxx


	10. Chapter 10

xxxxxx

**EPOV – 2007**

The bartender poured me another one with a raised eyebrow but kept whatever he wanted to say to himself. I grabbed my glass, stared at its contents – what was it I was drinking anyway? I shrugged and took a long swig.

I felt my father sliding back onto the stool next to me, still smelling like stale bread and scotch. The bartender looked at him but he shook his head.

"Eric, you should go to Sookie, it's getting late," his voice was laden with fatherly-concern which just filled me with disgust.

I put my glass down loudly on the bar and turned to him, the very sight of him made me want to puke. "Sookie's in Bon Temps right now. We're supposed to be flying to Vegas in the morning."

"You should definitely _not_ be driving right now, sir," the bartender butted in watching us warily.

"What is your name?" I asked the nosy bartender.

"Sam Merlotte," he told me like a challenge, he wasn't intimidated.

I nodded. "You're a good man, Sam Merlotte," I took another swig of my drink.

"I didn't want you to have to see that…" my father said suddenly, hunching down over his arms on the bar. "Ah, Eric, I didn't want any of this."

"No kidding. Yet, I'm your emergency person," I told him bitterly. "Somehow being walked on by your wife would have been worse, huh?"

"Goodness, Helen!" father dropped his face on his hands. "Helen could _never_…"

"You don't deserve her," I told him, finished my drink and nodded at _Sam Merlotte_ for another one.

Father made a sound like a laugh. "Of course you'd think that!" he stole the drink from my hands and downed it quickly, making a face as the liquid burnt through his throat. "I couldn't even get my own son out of my marriage. You had to go and be Helen's!"

"What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" I hissed at him.

"_She_ stole you from me," he continued, his drunken voice quickly returning. "I had wanted a son to walk in my footsteps, to run my business, and instead I get Helen with a cock!" He barked a laugh, staring at Sam, to whom the joke was a complete mystery. "For fuck's sakes, Pam had been a man she would have made a better you!"

"Axel, you're going to regret those words in the morning," Sam Merlotte said knowingly, removing the empty glass from his hands. "And I'm cutting you both off right now," he pointed his finger at us. I raised an eyebrow, how long had he known my father? He looked over his shoulder. "Holly… two strong coffees, right here."

"I hear ya, boss!" a voice came from behind the double doors.

"I hope you're not blaming your having an affair on my unwillingness to take up your mantle," I turned to him, my vision slightly blurred. "_Daddy_."

Father made a sound between a choke and an expletive. "Oh, Eric, son, what do you know?" he laughed. "I don't blame _you_ Eric… I blame _women_, and marriages. They're a lie, they're all lies! There is no happy marriage, it's why we _men_ end up spreading our seed!" he gesticulated pathetically.

I glared at him. "I'm happy." I told him.

Father laughed and shook his head. A blonde waitress strutted her way over to us with two big mugs of steaming coffee and smiled condescendingly at the pair of us. "Now you boys drink this!"

"Thanks Holly, sugar," daddy laughed at her.

I felt the bile rise up in me again. He looked back at me, a strange look settling on his drunken face.

"Sookie is lovely, son. She's not a Helen. But you only _think _you're happy. It doesn't last."

"Just shut the fuck up," I told him and grabbed my coffee. "You're in so much shit right now I can't even _think. _When mother finds out…"

Father's hand grabbed around the shoulder of my jacket so fiercely I turned to glare at him, his eyes were wild and desperate. "No! She must never… Eric, you can't… not Helen, not Pam, they can't ever…"

"Let go of me," I shook him off and started to stand.

"Eric!" my father's voice begged as I reached for my wallet. "Please, son… think of what it would do to them."

"That's all I've been thinking about," I told him, setting my money on the bar. "Believe me."

"Dude… you're not thinking about getting in your car now, are ya?" Sam Merlotte appeared out of nowhere again.

"Listen to Sam, son," father begged me, struggling to get out of his own stool. "Stay… let's talk… you can't tell them…"

"I want you to _shut up_," I told my father, my blood boiling inside me. I wanted to beat him into a pulp. "If you shut up I'll fucking stay and see that you don't end up in the gutter. But you need to keep your fucking mouth _shut_."

"You can both just cool off upstairs," a voice said somewhere behind me.

I turned – Felicia was standing there, looking much better than earlier, and unlike my father or me, she looked like she had been able o salvage her dignity. She was smartly dressed, hair immaculately brushed, and, if not by the bandages on her sprained wrist, I would have forgotten I'd met her entirely.

"Thank you for calling me, Sam," she told the bartender before she looked at me. "Eric… I can see you're upset… but you look slightly more put together than your father. Do you think you could help him get him upstairs?"

I wanted to tell her to fuck off as well – I wanted to leave them both there and go back to Sookie, lie on her lap and forget everything. But as I stood there, a pivotal figure in my family's most dramatic moment, I realized I couldn't. I may not have turned out to be the man my father had wanted, but I was still a man, and the man who could save or break our family right now. What else was I supposed to do?

So, with the help of my father's mistress, I hauled his arm over my shoulder and together we led him out of the bar, where several curious pairs of eyes burned on my back. We got back to Felicia's flat right across the street and she led us into her bedroom, where I dropped my father on her bed, screw it, it was _their_ bed wasn't it?

My brain was still in an alcoholic fog as I dropped myself on the couch I had found my father earlier and as I scanned the room a second time I was struck by how clean it looked now – it even smelled like lime. I looked as Felicia walked across the room towards me, the very image of calm and collected, she put a large glass filled with cool water and put a jar right next to it before sitting across from me with a smile.

"You're a doctor, I'm sure I don't need to tell you what to do."

I stared at her with the untouched water between us – trying to figure out what had happened there. She was nothing like my mother – they were complete opposites physically. Mother was smaller, delicate – like Sookie in a lot of ways. Felicia was arm candy. She was statuesquely beautiful now that she had cleaned up. But she wasn't what you'd call a whore either. She had a respectable air about her and carried herself like she came from as much money as father had. But I knew that couldn't be true.

Felicia suddenly smiled under my scrutiny and I raised an eyebrow at her, she chuckled lightly. "I'm sure this must be very strange for you, Eric."

"It isn't for you?" I wondered.

"I knew what I was signing on for," she said simply. "I knew this day would come. I knew if I ever had to meet any of you, it would be you."

"Why is that?"

"Your father trusts you not to break your mother and sister's hearts," her smile faded a little. "I'm sure it's a lot to swallow…."

"Do you care about their hearts breaking at all?" I interrupted her.

"You must know the answer to that."

I laughed bitterly and reached for the glass of water. "How far along are you?"

"Four weeks," Felicia said without a beat.

I frowned, that was pretty early to know. "You have been planning this."

"I have," she said shamelessly.

"I'm guessing my father wasn't in on your plans."

"No, no he wasn't."

I chugged the first glass of water, knowing it would help prevent a hangover in the morning. "How did that work out for ya?"

Now she blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Did he say he'd leave my mother for you so you could raise this child like a perfect, happy family?" I elaborated – I didn't mean to be callous, but the words just came out that way.

Her eyes dropped to the table between us and she said nothing. "Who knows, maybe it will be a boy and he'll be so happy he _will_ dump us all for the two of you." I chuckled bitterly.

"He wouldn't," Felicia shrugged and reached for the jar of water. "I don't want him to forget his children."

"Just my mother?" I asked as I watched her pour more water for me.

"Just your mother."

We heard movement and looked up towards the door to the bedroom – father walked out, looking somehow even more crumpled than before but oddly sober. His eyes zeroed on Felicia and I couldn't quite distinguish the emotion behind them.

"Leave us," he nearly whispered.

To my surprise, she did. She stood up and put the jar down before walking casually across the room, past my father whose eyes were now trained on me, and through the door into her room. I put the glass down without drinking the water as he sat beside me.

"I don't expect you to understand any of this," he said.

"I sure would hope not."

My phone rang in the silent room and I snapped my eyes shut as everything came back to me. Sookie, Bon Temps, Memorial Day. _Shit_.

"I have to take this," I stood up reaching for my phone, aware of my father's eyes watching me. "Hey, I know I'm late. I'm sorry," I said hurriedly. My father stood up behind me as Sookie's worried voiced asked me what was wrong. "No… it's not the car…" crap, maybe I should have said it was. "It's…" I looked at my father who looked at me sadly. "I can't talk right now, Sookie. Tell Gran I'm sorry – you guys shouldn't wait for me." God knows I shouldn't drive like that. "I'll see you guys later, OK?"

"_Uhm…_"

I closed my eyes again. "I have to go. Love you."

"_But…_"

I hung up, and nearly flung my cell phone across the room in frustration. How the hell was I going to tell her this?

"Eric…" my father's voice brought me back to Shreveport. "Sookie can't know either."

I shook my head at him but he was already throwing his hands up placatingly. "None of them can, Eric. Sookie is like a daughter to Helen, she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself. You know women…"

"What makes you think _I_ can keep this to myself?" I threw my arms up. "What were you thinking? Because I have a penis I would understand? I would somehow pat you on the back, slap you on the wrist and forget about it?" I looked around, the absurdity of it all overwhelming me. "There's something called _divorce_, father! Were you so unhappy with mom, you could have gotten yourself one of those!"

"NO!"

I glared at him disbelievingly. "Please… if you _dare_ tell me you love her right now I'll just bash your face in, I swear!"

And then father did something I absolutely didn't expect no matter how absurd the whole shit already was. He burst into tears. He plunked himself on the couch and sobbed like a pathetic old sob. I found I couldn't look at him.

What the fuck was I going to do with him now?

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2012**

I woke up to a note from Sookie letting me know she was off with Tara and Lafayette and that they would be having lunch out so I shouldn't wait for her. I sighed, knowing it was punishment for last night and being out of ideas of what to do about it – painless ideas anyhow. I had a dull breakfast and had half a mind to just drop by Brigant's Free Clinic and do some work, but I ended up in the park running some laps to cool off my head first. It hadn't been that long ago I told Steve Newlin I was too old for jogging, but right now I felt my body could use the strain, before I popped.

I had just sat on the bleachers around the soccer field to have a drink from my bottled water, feeling the sweat sticking my clothes to my skin when I realized my week was about to get weirder. Bill Compton came strolling around, coming from the tennis court side, swirling a racket on his hand and smiling jovially as he recognized me.

"It's Eric, right?" he asked as he stepped closer, uncapping his own bottled water.

I nodded. "Bill. Good game?"

"Always good," Bill pointed at the spot next to me. "May I?"

"Of course."

Bill sat down and sighed, taking a chug of his water. "I guess it shouldn't surprise me to see you here," he smiled. "I feel like every other doctor in Shreveport comes to this park." I laughed politely. "The missus definitely comes here. I sometimes run into my physician in the tennis court. My proctologist is a jogger," he grinned meaningfully at me. I supposed it was a joke so I laughed politely.

"Perhaps you're right… one of my colleagues brought me here first."

"See? Another white coat." Bill looked over at the soccer field where some sort of match seemed to be about to start. "So, Sookie told me about your constant work with MSF," he began, looking at me curiously. "Good man!"

I just nodded, unsure of what to say to that. I was also unsure of why I should even talk to the guy. He had been ogling my wife, according to Pam – I don't care what kind of marriage he was in, mine was a monogamous one and he better remember that next time he sees Sookie.

"You wouldn't be looking into writing about that, would you?" he asked unexpectedly.

"What?" I frowned, completely surprised by the question.

"It's a subject of great interest!" he continued seriously. "I've been scouting some people about this for a while and when I heard about you, and then I met you last night…well it just looks like fate, doesn't it?"

I wasn't sure what it looked like.

"I have…a lot going on," was the only excuse I could come up with.

"Of course you do!" Bill laughed sympathetically. "You're having a baby! You could use some time home, writing, instead of skipping to the hospital at all hours of day and night, angering the missus, missing all those invaluable firsts…." He winked. "Just think about it," he stood and reached into his pocket for a card. "I doubt you won't hear from me again, but if you don't, use this."

"Thank you, it's uh… it _is_ a very interesting offer," I had to admit.

Bill nodded. "Say hello to Sookie for me." The hell I will. "I have to run. Brunch with the in-laws," he winked again before he started heading off.

"Does Dr. Newlin know you're in here?" Crystal Norris narrowed her eyes at me and dropped a pile of charts on top of the counter behind which I sat checking the computer at the Free Clinic.

"I don't know," I said casually sipping my tea. "Is he on call?"

"He had to fill in for Moira today, she's getting married," Crystal started arranging the charts. "He's in a giving mood since he's the one getting married next!"

"Yeah, who'd have thought," I spied one of the charts. "Busy morning?"

"Just like Christmas!" she eyed me suspiciously. "You screwed up, didn't you?"

"What?" I stood from the chair to look into another monitor.

"With the wife!" Crystal put her hands on her hips. "What did you do?"

I looked at her and sighed. "You assume the worst of me, Crystal."

"Am I wrong? You're supposed to be off duty today!"

The look she was giving me was enough to make me slump my shoulders which was a big feat for someone so tiny. My reaction only caused her to shake her head.

"You gotta keep it together buddy! She's pregnant, it means her drama is upped to the max, the tiniest thing can set her off."

"Who made you a couples' counselor?" I mumbled.

Crystal rolled her eyes and moved to grab the chart from my hands. "Go home."

"Crystal…"

"Dr. Northman! We have a hit and run coming in – two victims, one is a 10 year old, and the other is a woman in her 20s, there's too much blood…." Nurse Ormond announced quickly, coming behind Crystal.

"Take them to trauma, and page Jordan for me," I said already moving from behind the counter. "Crystal, I need you with me."

"Right away Dr. Northman."

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

I wanted to throw a tantrum like a five-year-old when I arrived home to a note from Eric saying he was "checking in" at the hospital. He was off-duty godammit. I wanted to get home and have a heart to heart to him about last night.

"Are you alright?" Tara asked me with a funny look after I huffed for the fourth time.

We were in the kitchen and I was pouring ourselves some orange juice. Lafayette had left us to go and be with Alejandro. We had done some nice shopping and on Monday I'd be taking Tara to see Lorena.

"I'm fine…" I said, trying to get my bearings on my inner-child.

"Do you need a harness?" she winked and I snorted. "So I take it last night didn't go as planned?"

"Oh it went alright," I sat on the stool across from her. "He did show up, late but, you know…." I shrugged. "It's just that something smelled fishy about Pam being there."

"Isn't Pam in the publishing business though?" Tara and I had met a short while ago, but we had got through a lot of things in a short time, I guess. "Wouldn't she have been there anyway?"

"Not since she's specialized in fashion," I explained. "She thinks the rest of us are boring," I chuckled fondly. "If she was there Eric knew there was a risk."

"A risk?"

"A risk he'd screw up majorly and not be able to be there at all."

"He's a doctor, isn't that how it usually goes?"

"I have the feeling it wasn't like that this time," I said staring into space. "Eric has these moments…. He's had them for a few years now, where he goes awfully quiet and pensive. He's not against discussing medical stuff that has him upset so when he refuses to talk…"

"It raises a flag," Tara finished for me.

"It raises a flag," I nodded. "And this week there was a flag, a big one. He was worried about something and it wasn't us, and he has been weird the whole week."

"Mmmm," Tara watched me, clearly unsure of what to say.

I tried to shrug it off. "Maybe he's just having an affair."

Tara's eyes widened at that. "How can you joke about that?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I'd never felt like I had to worry about that, you know? I've always joked I'm the mistress and his work is his wife."

"Oh sweetie…" Tara shook her head. "Men _always_ find time to screw around," she paled a little then and looked down, embarrassed. "God, Sookie, I'm sorry. I'm _not_ helping you saying shit like that."

I shook my head, trying to laugh it off. "Maybe you're just the one person brave enough to say it." I looked around, trying to think of something else to talk about.

"I should get going!" Tara slid off her stool and grabbed her purse. "I'm sorry Sook. Please, forget what I said."

I just smiled nervously at her and watched her fast retreat. When I heard the door snap closed I dropped my head between my hands and took a deep breath. I somehow ended up in our bedroom and started undressing, to get into something cleaner and comfortable. I was just buttoning up a loose fitting dress that maybe was too light for October, but it was the first thing I had my hands on – when I spotted Eric's laptop on top of his bedside table.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2007**

I was doing my best to stay in the Vegas spirit for Memorial Day weekend. Everyone, everywhere seemed really intent on partying, except Eric. He was trying, I could tell. His excuse for Friday night had been that he had gone to help a buddy who was wasting himself in a bar over some girl and apparently he was in pretty bad shape. To Eric's credit, there were no signs of hangover in the morning but he admitted to having had his fair share and having to wait before getting on the road. I didn't interrogate him about it because he seemed pretty upset about the whole thing – maybe too upset. Upset in a way that made me think this buddy was either Steve Newlin or Chow – those were his two closest friends.

The gambling was pretty cool, the shows were awesome, and the pool was just perfect – but it seemed like I was spending most of my fun time with my brother and Amy, even when Eric was right there with us, I felt like he wasn't interactive at all. Jason threw Eric some dirty looks, maybe thinking he was being rude to Amy whom we had just met.

But I was determined to not let one of Eric's silly friends ruin our holiday, especially when we were about to go into baby-making season. So after the last show and dinner, Amy and Jason decided to have some fun doing slots. I suggested Eric and I just called it at night so we could start early on Sunday – he didn't protest. Admittedly, I had an agenda – I wanted my husband out of his funk so he could put a baby in me.

When I heard the shower going off I got a giddy feeling inside me – it was now. I quickly checked my reflection on the mirror and fluffed my hair a little. I smiled at the lucky girl smiling back at me and gave myself a pat on the back. "We look good!"

"Yes, you do!" Eric appeared from behind me and kissed me on the cheek before moving on.

I squealed and turned around laughing, with a hand on my chest. Eric was walking to the armchair across from the bed – I watched the moisture beads running down his naked back and shuddered happily. He smelled so good. He sat down, on his blue drawstring pants and dried his hair off with a towel. I watched him from across the room, biting my lip, suddenly nervous about the whole thing. I had been thinking about the good stuff, motherhood, babies, tiny one pieces and woolen socks. What if I sucked as a parent?

"Sookie?"

I looked up with a start – having realized I had kind of gone into the zone while staring across the room. Eric was frowning funnily at me. His towel was gone and he was looking at me curiously, leaning forward, with his elbows on his knees.

"Where did you run off to?" He smirked at me.

I smiled slowly, my brain slowly catching up with him. Why was I afraid anyway? We were so ready – and, apparently, Eric was in a better mood now. I grinned now, and made my way across the room putting an exaggerated sway to my hips that made Eric lean back and run his eyes over my form. I toyed with the sash of my satin robe and he grinned back, quickly catching up.

"We're in Vegas, Eric," I straddled him, his arms locking around me immediately as he leaned back on the chair. "Do you know what that means?" I leaned over to kiss his jaw.

"Do you want to get married?" he joked, moving beneath me suggestively.

I laughed, biting into his chin and shaking my head. "I was thinking about something a bit more forward than that."

Eric nuzzled my neck and worked the sash of my robe for me, quickly slipping it down my shoulders. "I'm OK with living in sin as well."

"Eric," I melted into him and kissed him deeply, hands tugging into his damp hair. "I love you so much."

Eric's response was to pull me closer so he could move us from the chair to bed, laying me on my back and hovering over me with intense blue eyes roaming down my face and lower.

"I have good news," I smiled, cradling his face between my hands.

"Oh sweetheart, me too," Eric teased reaching for the hem of my nightgown. "It's somewhere down…" I giggled and wiggled under him. "Let me show ya…"

"Eric, I'm serious!" I laughed trying to still his hands.

He stopped and leaned down to kiss the valley between my breasts, still partially covered by satin.

"Alright, your good news first," he kissed me on the lips and pulled back to watch me with a smile.

I bit my lip, my smile widening; I couldn't wait for his reaction. "We're officially off the pill, I talked to Indira, and I'm ready." I watched as Eric's smile disappeared, his face paled slightly and the mischief in his eyes was replaced by something I couldn't recognize. "That means we can get pregnant, Eric…" I explained, though I didn't see why he would need me to. "Like we planned…"

"Right," he breathed out, his eyes suddenly anywhere but on me. "Pregnant."

I stared at him in disbelief, cold gripping me from inside when he suddenly started to move away from me.

"I don't know if the timing is right," he said in such a low voice I could barely hear him.

"The timing isn't right?" I sat up, outraged. "Eric, I'm 28, we talked about this. It's _time_!" I watched him as he paced away from me. "You were on board with this! Eric what the…"

"I know I was," Eric turned back around, his eyes completely apologetic. "It's just… something's come up."

I stared back at him, completely confused and angry. "_What_?"

Eric stared at me, and I knew he could tell how I felt by the way he flinched. He finally walked back to the bed and sat on the right side, bending a leg so he could face me. "I wanted us to do this, Sookie, you know how much I did," he said pleadingly, grabbing my hand – I didn't know if I gave him any response, I don't think I did. "I just… I would like to be _here_, all the way."

I frowned, staring at our hands on our lap, trying o wrap my brain around what the hell was going on here. I looked up into his eyes again, realizing what he was getting at. "You're travelling again."

"It's just for six months," he said quickly. "Russell's team is lacking and Asia…"

"But…" I stared into his eyes, my own narrowing and shook my head. "We had plans…"

"I'm…." Eric looked away and I could tell how much this was difficult for him. "I'm not ready."

I blinked. Then I blinked again – and the tears stung behind my eyes. "Oh… well… that's… that's different." I pulled my hand away and started scooting away from him.

"Sookie," Eric's hand closed around my arm and I stopped to look over at him and he flinched again at the sight of my tears. "Baby…"

"Shut up," I mumbled and shook his hand away, getting out of bed and walking straight into the bathroom, banging the door angrily behind me.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

I sat on Eric's side of the bed, my eyes on his laptop. My heart was hammering against my ribcage and the baby was kicking inside me, apparently very annoyed at his mommy. I must have stared at it for a good five minutes before I finally moved, popping the top open.

Was I really going to be one of those wives? And when I found nothing would I feel like an idiot and cry? I knew Eric – I was sure of it. I knew he had sadness in him, that there was something he wouldn't let me touch. But I knew him either way – and Eric was not a cheater.

Or maybe I was wrong.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I sighed as I became _one of those_ wives.

Would I be sniffing his collar next? Would I be searching his coat pockets for love notes? I snorted to myself.

Then I got to his e-mail trash folder and he e-mail subject reading "URGENT" caught my attention.

_I heard you're in town. We need to talk. Friday, 8pm, at the Forrester._

My eyes narrowed. What a cryptic little e-mail. I checked for the sender, but I had no idea who ffostermaine at was.

"Friday, 8pm…at the Forrester?" I narrowed my eyes looking out the window. It could only have been last Friday. Was the Forrester the Forrester Hotel?

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

But I was. Somehow I decided if I was doing this I was going to go all the way. So I grabbed my coat, my purse and my car keys before making my way down to the garage.

I had never been to the Forrester personally. But I had drove Claudine once or twice when she had to meet with out-of-town people, so I knew where it was. Before I started driving I fished my phone out of my purse with trembling hands and typed a quick text to Lafayette: _I'm off to spy on my husband. Have I gone completely crazy?_

I was barely two blocks away when I got a reply: _Do you need me to come with, momma?_ I smiled. I could always count on Lafayette. But no, I didn't want anybody with me for this – whatever happens it was best that I was alone.

I parked across the street and stared at the hotel. I had a half mind to turn back, drive home, wait for Eric and simply grill him about Friday night to get to the bottom of it. But something in the back of my head told me I had to do this, that it was the only way I'd ever get to the bottom of this.

The lobby was unsurprisingly busy. Men and women all suited up, coming and going. I stood there for a bit, at a loss of what exactly I should do. I spotted the sitting area and made my way towards it, choosing a plush couch, the corner seat was well concealed by a large vase. I sat down and grabbed a newspaper from the center table. On a chair across from me, a woman in a suit eyed me curiously, her eyes settling on my tummy before she smiled and went back to her magazine – the Economist. I shook my head to myself – this wasn't the hotel you pick if you're banging someone else's husband… what was I thinking?

Still, I sat there, for a good, humiliating and degrading 45 minutes – stealing glances over the newspaper to see… what? Who? Did I expect to see Eric waltz in at any given minute, embraced to a suit-wearing-the-economist-reading bimbo? It was getting a bit ridiculous. My phone buzzed.

_You OK there momma?_

I smiled and typed back. _Yes. I'm coming home._

I tossed the newspaper aside and stood up, grabbing my purse, stepping around the center table to get the hell out of there. It was then my feet stopped me – when out of one of the elevators strode out a tall, beautiful, familiar blonde. She wasn't wearing a suit, but a lovely cream-colored coat, her straight hair flying behind her like shampoo commercial. My eyes narrowed… I knew that blonde. She suddenly stopped in her stride and turned around quickly, but gracefully, to watch as a little girl skipped out of the elevator behind her, wearing an adorable yellow dress and blue cardigan over it.

My heart stopped as the tall woman leaned down to fix the little girl's cuffs and she smiled at her mother. Her strawberry blonde hair was silky and shiny, and unlike her mother's it was a bit unruly – her dark blue eyes and the shape of her mouth sent my heart plummeting to my feet. That was what Pam would have looked like at that age, with paler blonde hair…

The woman straightened up again and took the little girl's hand, to lead her out onto the street. It was then I recognized her. I'd met her a few months ago, I was sure, at the _Matte Lounge_ – it was difficult to forget because it had been such a strange encounter. As I watched Felicia leaving with her daughter through the front doors, everything made sense.

I remembered that night and how strange it had felt, I remembered Axel looking positively panicked as he saw her, then her mirroring panic, his swooping in to intervene and the uncomfortableness between them at the dinner table. I frowned, thinking of the little girl – who was _nearly _five? Five…2007… Vegas… the year Eric refused me children….

Oh God… I was going to be sick.

"Miss? Are you alright?"

I turned to see the suited woman from earlier; I faced her with a hand over my mouth and shook my head vehemently.

"There are bathrooms this way," she gently started to lead me, and I let her.

We ended up going into a bar and across but I finally made it into a bathroom stall. I didn't throw up but I stood there, with my back against the door, just breathing. I needed to calm the fuck down. My hand fell to my tummy – all this shit couldn't possibly be good for the baby. I was going to _kill_ Eric for putting us through this.

"Feeling better?" the woman asked me kindly when I stepped out to wash my face.

"Yes, yes, thank you!" I tried to offer her a reassuring smile.

I made my way back as dignifiedly as I could, my hands were still shaking. I was about to head out the door when I stopped myself and bit my lip, remembering the e-mail. I better be sure of this. I turned around and walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend, she's a bit late," I smiled at the receptionist. "Could you call… Felicia _Foster_, for me?"

"One minute," the receptionist smiled and checked her computer before reaching for the phone. She dialed and waited – after a long moment she looked at me apologetically. "Ms. Foster must have stepped out. Would you like to leave a message?"

My lips stretched into what must have been a terrible smile as I shook my head. "No. It's fine…. I'll just… come by later. Thank you."

"Have a good day ma'am."

I got into my car, thinking about driving home and throwing all of Eric's belongings down the window – and, if he were home, I was going to throw all his belongings _at_ him. I sat at the wheel, trying to keep calm – breaking down into hysterics would not be good. I had a child to think of – my baby needed me to be sane through this… _somehow_. So, instead of driving home, I ended up driving to Helen's. I knew it was a fat chance I'd meet him there – but, if I did, I wanted to hear it from him. He had covered for his son – he could very well spare me the confrontation and tell me the truth now.

"Sookie!" Helen gasped in happy surprise for about five seconds – I can only imagine what I must have looked like. "What are those tears, Sookie?" she grabbed my hand. "Come inside. Are you in any pain? Do you need me to call Eric?"

I shook my head vehemently. He was the last person I wanted to see right now – or ever.

"Helen," I took a deep, calming breath. "Is Axel home, by any chance?"

Helen watched me fearfully, and nodded. "Yes, yes he is. He arrived just this morning. Child, what is it? You're scaring me."

"Can I _please_, speak with him?" I was aware of the tears running down now, and more than just my hands were shaking. "It's really important."

Helen grabbed both my hands and led me through the foyer into the sitting room next door. At first, I didn't see him there, I was focused on Helen and her calming presence. She rubbed my hands between hers, and begged me, in hushed tones, to keep calm, while she called someone over her shoulder for sugar water.

"Hel… who's there?"

I looked up from my mother-in-law, my eyes widening at the approach of Axel. He stopped in his stride when he saw me and his face was torn immediately with concern as he hurried over.

"Sookie? Jesus Christ, what's wrong with her Helen?"

They were both touching me, talking about being pale and shaking, and I couldn't make out a word beyond that. Suddenly, _someone_, I'm guessing it was housekeeping day, trust a glass of milky-looking water into Helen's hand, which she then forced onto mine.

"It's sugar water, dear, drink it."

"We should take her to the hospital," Axel said as I drank. "Are you going into labor, Sookie? Where's Eric?"

I shook my head vehemently as I gave the glass back to Helen, who in turn put it away before putting her arms around me.

"I'm not… this baby ain't coming out now… but something is!" I stared intently at my father-in-law, hoping the concern for me was big enough to tell me the truth. "I wanted to speak to you, Axel. It's important. I need you to tell me the truth!"

Axel's eyes widened in surprise. "Of course, child. Sookie, you're scaring us. What is it? What do you want to know?"

"_Felicia_," her name in my lips made me sick and it caused a similar reaction in Axel, I nearly cried harder as he paled. "At the _Matte Lounge_… do you remember her?" he nodded very slowly. "Why didn't you tell me Eric had another woman? That he had a child with her?"

"Axel!" Helen gasped.

"How could you _not_ tell me!" I yelled at him, tears running down my face. "How long have you been covering for him?"

Axel seemed to have turned into a statue – nothing but his eyes moved, and they bore deep into mine. I guess, if I had been myself at the time, I would have recognized the regret and panic – but I saw nothing through the tears still spilling out of my eyes.

"Axel, is this true?" Helen hissed beside me, her hands tightening around me almost painfully. "Axel what is she talking about?"

I stared back at my father-in-law, waiting for him to put me out of my misery and just say the words. His eyes seemed to be so far away now, but I stared back at him – and waited.

xxxxxxx


	11. Chapter 11

xxxxxx

**EPOV **

It was a Saturday going completely off course. I got home, it was 6pm and I hadn't even seen my wife yet – and what was worse, she wasn't home, _again_. There were no notes this time so I had no idea where she was. There were two unwashed glasses in the sink, so maybe Tara or Lafayette had been here. I found discarded clothes on the bed and my laptop was open and facing the bed, not how I had left it, so I knew she had lingered home a little. I grabbed my phone and tried calling her, but it went straight to voice mail.

I started regretting the whole day. Even if my being at the hospital turned out useful, I didn't mean to leave Sookie alone on my weekend off. Now, if she was avoiding me, again, then I probably deserved it… again. I rang Lafayette, to know if she was at his place. He said she wasn't, and sounded very weird, like he was trying to get rid of me as quick as possible – which made me suspicious. I kept trying to get a hold of her through the phone, but it just wasn't happening.

I was maybe on my hundredth attempt when the intercom rang and I jogged over to the door.

"Yeah?"

"It's Pam, buzz me up."

"OK."

I went back to the phone and dialed again, getting only voice mail. "Sookie, where the hell are you? Turn on your damn phone!" I realized it was probably not the nicest message I could leave, but I was getting a little worried. The house phone rang and I looked over the screen for the caller ID, it was mom – I sighed and decided to let it go to the answering machine, as I dialed the next person I could think of. "Claudine?"

"_Hello Eric!_" I heard as Pam walked through the door. I nodded at her and went back to pacing. "_What's up?_"

"Is Sookie with you, by any chance?" I asked and I heard Pam snort in the background.

"_No. Haven't seen her since last night. Have you lost her?_" there was Claudine's unfailing mirth.

"Something like that. Thanks, Claudine."

"_You're welcome_."

I hung up and sighed, staring at my phone like it was its fault. I turned to look at Pam, who was still standing by the door. I frowned. She looked a bit odd. It was like every muscle in her body was tensing and her eyes were red rimmed. She was wearing jeans and a knitted sweater – very un-Pam.

"What's wrong with you?" I swept my eyes over her, taking in her tension.

"_You_ are an _asshole_." Pam said scathingly. "I wanted you to know that."

I rolled my eyes. "What is it now?"

"What. Is. It. Now?" She strode to me, nearly foaming at the mouth. "YOU!" she swatted at me with her handbag. "ARE!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I recoiled, throwing my arms in the way of her purse.

"A COMPLETE!" Pam stroke at my head now. "IMBECILE!"

"Alright, alright, you made your point!" I yanked her purse out of her hand and took a step back. "What do you have in here, a brick?" I raised the seemingly innocent handbag in my hand.

"No, it's just my dumbbells!" Pam smiled horrifically. "Give me that!" she came at me again.

"You, step the hell back!" I held the handbag over my head. "What's your problem? Are you crazy?"

"Are _you_?" she shot back. "Because maybe you _are_!" she spat, and it seemed like it took all her strength not to strike at me with her nails. "What you _did_ is not _normal, _Eric!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What did I do?"

The house phone started ringing again and I just ignored it, and kept watching Pam who was growing red in a worrying way.

"Aren't you going to take that?" she gestured at the phone angrily.

"It's just mom, I'll call her later!" I shrugged and took a step towards her. "Pam, what…?"

"AGH! YOU ASS!" Pam threw her hands in the air and shoved past me, leaving me speechless as she reached for the phone. "Mom?" I blinked, watching the way her stance changed almost completely; she slumped her shoulders and looked suddenly tearful. What the hell? "Yes, I'm here," she sniffled. I flopped on the couch behind me, watching my sister with a sinking feeling that something was very, very wrong. "Yes!" she glared at me then, her voice back to anger. "He's here. I didn't kill him… yet." I raised an eyebrow. Pam made a weird gurgling sound I never heard from her before. "I don't think I should!" she listened and sniffled. "FINE!" she swiped at her tears. "I'll do it because you're asking me, but I don't think she'll want to see him! _I_ don't think I want to see him!"

I stood up now, knowing they were talking about Sookie, and getting more than worried. Pam hung up, and, when she looked at me again, it was like she had punched me in the gut. I recoiled instinctively as Pam pressed her lips into a thin line; her fists balling up to the point all her knuckles were white.

"What happened to Sookie?" I asked.

"Sookie thought you were having an affair!" Pam said in a pretend-mock voice, that was more of a half-screech.

"WHAT?" I glared at Pam. "Why did she…?"

"Dad's lover?" Pam said loudly, to shut me up. "She thought she was _yours_."

I could feel the color draining and my stomach plummeting. "Oh fuck, no…."

Pam scoffed, turning away from me, her posture tensing again. "Oh! Fuck No!" she mocked me, turning around. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" she was on me again, striking me with her own hands now that her purse was gone. But I didn't even register it. Not that Pam was ineffective, she could hurt. I just didn't feel like it. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"Pam….please," I tried to stop her as gently as I could, but the minute my hands circled her arms she shoved at me so strongly I ended up on the couch again. "Pam…" I begged her. "I'm sorry."

Pam looked at me, shaking her head and then she sobbed once. I got on my feet and tried to get to her but she shoved at me again. "Don't you _dare_ comfort me!"

"I wanted everyone to know then," I said, knowing how useless it was. "I wanted to tell you."

"WANTED to but DIDN'T!" Pam grabbed the nearest thing she could, which turned out to be a huge round rock I brought from God knows where and threw it at me. I dodged it, which just made Pam glare at me. "Have you got ANY idea how HUGE a mess you're in right now?"

I leaned back against the couch in defeat and shook my head. "Tell me."

Pam laughed manically, running her fingers through her now very matted hair. "Well!" she stared to pace. "Let's see… Sookie went to the Forrester, following a lead she found where… oh yes, your e-mail trash folder!" my eyes widened. "Yeah! I know!" she smiled horrifically again. "Look how far you pushed her, huh?" she continued her pacing. "Then… she saw this woman… what was the bimbo's name again?" She narrowed her eyes trying to remember. "Felicity…?"

"Felicia…" I muttered feeling my stomach about to turn against me.

"_Felicia!_" Pam said between clenched teeth before grabbing the next nearest thing, which was a harmless pillow – I didn't bother dodging it and after it hit me on the head and fell on my lap I simply hugged it to me as if it could save me. "She saw the bimbo, which would have been completely inconsequential if she hadn't seen her _before_, at some bar… with our _Dad_! So… you see," she paused, to look at me again. "Instead of making the more likely connection that it was _Dad_ who was the lying, cheating, bastard, she made the still _probable_ connection, given the circumstances, that it was _you_." She paused, as if she was considering something. "Well…" she seemed to concede. "I guess it was the _child_ who made it for her. It _is_ kind of ridiculous for a man our Dad's age to still be packing competent swimmers." Pam stomped over to me and I looked up, ready for oncoming blows. But she just glared at me. "You know _why_ she had even the slightest chance to _think_ about you cheating Eric?" I shook my head in defeat. "Because you're a liar. And lying and cheating come close together."

"Where is she?" was all I could bring myself to ask.

Pam watched me for a moment, as if she was considering whether I was worthy of the information. "She's at mom's." I started to stand up and Pam pushed me down. "Before you get too eager here, I want you to stop and think about what you did. You need to get it through your thick skull just how bad you fucked this up before you see either mom or Sookie."

I sighed and nodded. "Trust me, Pam. I _know_."

Pam shook her head. "I don't know that you do. I'm so pissed at you I could walk out of here and never see you again!" I looked at her pleadingly. "But I won't do that. Because mom will forgive you, and I'll have to see you anyway. Then there's my nephew, whom I want to have full access to, and something tells me Sookie will forgive you too… eventually." She then moved to sit next to me and stared at me, thinking for a moment. "I don't know what went through your head through all these years. What _convinced_ you, you were doing anyone any good. But it must be a penis thing." I glared at her. "Oh no, it has to be! Both of you lied to all the women in your life. Congratulations. I guess we're lucky you're having a son. You probably couldn't manage a daughter." She stood up.

"Pam, it has nothing to do with gender," I tried to defend myself.

"Oh _really_?" Pam glared at me. "I wonder why it wasn't _me_ Dad called to be his mistress-handler?"

I had to swallow that one. She was right. But I didn't want to sit there and analyze, I wanted to see Sookie. And my mother.

"Pam, let me go see them, please."

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

"Ugh!" I grunted as I pushed myself up on my hands and sighed.

The room was dark – but I knew it must be evening already because little light peaked through the shades. I felt heavier than normal and my back was killing me. I knew I must have slept like the dead and wondered what was it that Helen gave me before she left me. She promised me it was harmless.

I leaned back on my elbows and took a deep breath, letting my eyes get accustomed to the darkness in the room. Slowly I could see the contours of some of the very few objects. I knew this was Eric's old room, but there was very little in it that still made it personable. After I was sure my eyesight was OK I tried kicking my legs over to the side and sitting up, with my feet touching the carpeted floor. I stretched, working out the kinks in my neck.

I stood, palmed the bed for my jacket and slipped my feet into my shoes. I didn't bother finding a mirror, I just ran my fingers through my hair and walked out of the room into the quiet hallway, dimly lit and empty. I stared down the hallway towards the doors to Helen's bedroom, but something told me she was in the kitchen so I made my way downstairs.

And that's where I found her, on a stool, leaning on the island with a steaming tea cup between her hands. I studied her profile. She looked pensive and tired, but a lot less heartbroken than one would expect. I frowned as I remembered watching Helen taking everything in her stride, as if none of it was news to her – and started to wonder, now that I had had the chance to calm myself, if maybe it really wasn't news to her.

I wasn't really watching her when it happened because my eyes were trained on my father-in-law. All I could feel where her arms around me, the firmness of them, the comfort in them. Even as it all turned out to have been all about her and nothing about me, _she_ was holding _me_.

"Helen?" I called tentatively as I stepped into the kitchen.

Helen looked up, genuinely taken by surprise that I was there. She ran her eyes over me, worry masking her previous sternness. "Sookie, dear," she stood immediately. "You're awake. Come sit."

I let her grab my hands and lead me to the stool across from her before she walked to the sink where a tea pot was resting. She poured tea into a cup and placed it before me with a gentle smile.

"Thank you," I watched as she sat across from me and started wiping inexistent crumbs from the surface of the tabletop. "Helen, I'm so sorry for bringing that mess into your house."

Helen looked up at me sharply. "Sookie don't be silly. _You_ have nothing to apologize for!"

I shook my head. "I… I should have confronted Eric, not Axel. Then he would have told me the truth and…"

"And Axel would be spared once again?" Helen made a face. "Oh no, my dear. God works in mysterious ways!"

I looked at her sheepishly. "I'm so sorry, Helen. I can't imagine what…" I shook my head. "Scratch that, I _can_ imagine what you feel like I just…"

Helen nodded, a distant look in her eyes. "It's so much messier than one would expect, isn't it?"

I narrowed my eyes as I watched the woman I had such respect for. I was nearly afraid to ask her. But after what we'd been through that afternoon, what could be the harm?

"Helen… did… did you _already_ _know_ about this? I'm sorry it's just that… if it had been me and for a while there I thought it was and…"

Helen nodded understandingly, reaching over to put her hands over mine. "I know, child, I know. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. If I'd known Axel had dragged Eric into this five years ago…" she shook her head looking bitterly into space.

I frowned. "So, you _did_ know!"

Helen looked at me, a strange expression in her eyes and nodded. "I guess I suspected it. I just figured he was more of a Hugh Grant, not the… _Big Love_ type." She shook her head – I guess it showed she was Pam's mother if she could reference a TV show in a moment like this. "I never dreamed there could be a child," she suddenly started to shake and it was my turn to cover her hands with mine. "Thank you, sweetie." She patted my hand. "I should have been more pro-active about it, _clearly_. Instead I took the old approach of _he still comes back home to me_ that women used to take… I should have been more like you."

I shook my head and dropped it between my hands. "But I was wrong!" I sighed. "He wasn't having an affair!" I suddenly felt ashamed for the e-mail thing again.

"No, but he was covering one," Helen reminded me. "You, as his wife, knew something was wrong and you went with your instinct."

"I wish I had done that five years ago then," I said sadly.

Helen watched me a moment before saying. "There will always be things we think we could have done sooner. We'll always blame ourselves for it. But it's useless, Sookie. Five years ago, you weren't as fragile, you weren't as tired – you decided to have faith in him instead of questioning him. It's no use thinking _what if_ now."

I looked around the kitchen, suddenly remembering someone was missing. "Uhm… where's Axel?"

"He packed and left," Helen said emotionlessly. "He's either at some hotel, or with _them. _I seriously hope he shows up at her door. Let _her_ handle him now."

I shook my head. "Oh, Helen. I don't know what to say."

"Worry about yourself now, sweetie." She patted my hand again. "Pam's with Eric now, so they'll be here soon."

"Oh… she's going to kill him," I said, unsure of whether I worried for him or wished I could help her.

Helen, unexpectedly laughed. "Eric and Pam are Eric and Pam. He can take whatever she throws him, I'm sure. It's you he'll be afraid of."

My hand fell on my tummy, as if I expected my baby to shield me. "I'm not sure I want to see him yet."

Helen tilted her head, watching me. "You don't have to. He wouldn't dare to upset me under my roof."

"Are _you_ very mad at him?" I asked her.

"I'm mad at Axel. I feel sorry for Eric. He didn't make the best decisions and he crumbled under the pressure. Now I understand so much of what's been strange about him these last few years."

"Yeah… me too," I thought bitterly.

"Your tea's run cold, dear," Helen said strangely.

Indeed, I hadn't even sipped it. I smiled at her and shrugged, she smiled back – her own untouched tea in front of her. We heard two cars coming up the driveway and looked at each other.

"Wait in his old room, I'll send him up when I'm done with him," she smiled when my eyes widened. "Oh, don't worry," she chuckled. "I'll leave most of him for you to handle."

So I went upstairs, turned up the lights, made the bed, opened the shades, all the while trying not to hyperventilate. Then I started to pace. I was torn between locking the door so he couldn't come in, throwing myself at him in relief thanking him for not banging other women, or beating him into a pulp for letting us all come to this – if there was anything left of him for me to hit when he made it through the door.

But when the door finally opened, it was a very upset Pam that came through. My eyes widened at the sight. Poor Pam was wearing jeans, running shoes and a knitted sweater, her hair was a mess and her eyes and nose had all signs of crying.

"Oh… sweetie!" I said automatically opening my arms for her.

"I hate my father!" Pam whined as she walked straight to me and curved in to let me embrace her.

It was awkward with the height differences and the bump between us, so I sat us down on the bed so I could hug her properly.

"I can't believe this is happening!" she sniffled.

"I know…" I caressed her back soothingly.

"And _Eric_ is an enabling-asshole!" she gritted.

"Yes, he is," I patted her hair now. "Just, let it go, Pam, let it go."

Never in a million years, had I envisioned a situation where a crying Pam would want comfort from me. But, strangely, at this point, I was the only person around she could reach for. I felt really sorry for Pam then. I hadn't really stopped to think about how this would affect her before now. Helen had been right there, and I had always seen her as a sensitive woman, but she had surprised me with how she handled everything, with a dignified bitterness. Pam… I had always been wary of her. I liked her, but she was so tough and so generally impassive that I never figured she would react quite like that. Then I remembered Eric talking about her as Daddy's Little Girl and it all made sense.

Oh, poor Pam…

"Oh, I'm an idiot!" Pam suddenly straightened herself up and wiped at her tears. "I had come up to see how _you_'re doing!" she sniffled and looked at me, the old Pam stance returning. "How are you holding?"

I shook my head. "My husband didn't cheat on me Pam. I didn't find out my father has another family. Worrying about me right now is the last thing you have to worry about." I tried to be brave.

"Bullshit!" she rolled her eyes at me. "I can only imagine the state you must have arrived in! The point you must have reached to do what you did! If you want Eric's balls in a chain around your neck, I can arrange it for you!"

I couldn't help but laugh, in spite of her seriousness. "You're not touching his balls."

She suddenly shuddered. "When you put it that way…"

"Pam," I ran my hand over her face. "I'm so sorry."

Pam slumped her shoulders. "I want to kill him."

"Eric?"

"Dad!" Pam pondered. "Maybe I could just maim Eric."

"Where's Eric, by the way?" I asked, almost afraid to know he was near.

"Mom's giving him an earful," Pam said while she tried her best to right herself without a mirror. "She's giving him all that yap about lies and what not. But she's going to go easy on him in the end because he's her favorite!" she snorted.

"Maybe she's going to go easy on him because it wasn't him who cheated on her Pam."

She glared at me. "You're defending him?"

"No!" I said firmly. "He screwed up. All I mean is in the grand scale of things, most of her anger is probably directed at Axel."

Pam folded her arms across herself, looking as though she was considering. The lines of her face suddenly smoothed and I figured she was finally re-evaluating who she was most mad at herself.

"Do you think he went to the Forrester?" she asked me suddenly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. From the little I got out of this whole thing… Axel was trying to end things between them, which was why she was calling for Eric's help. So… I don't know if he would go to _her_ now."

Pam nodded. "In that case, I know where he is." Having said that she turned around and left the room in a hurry.

I couldn't say I felt sorry for Axel one bit.

I stood up again once she was gone, and smoothed the sheets of the bed again. I decided I would just have to wait for Helen to have her say first. So I walked to the window and stared outside. It had been raining and I accompanied the ripples in the puddles of water on the ground down below, while losing myself completely in my own mind, to the point that, when I returned to myself, I had no idea how long it had been.

A soft knock to the door snapped me out of it and I looked over my shoulder. "Come in," I said, my voice coming out slightly hoarse.

Eric popped his head in first and waited for me to either tell him to go or wave him in. I hesitated, even though I wanted to speak to him. I finally nodded and he came in quietly, closing the door behind him. I turned away from the window and closed my jacket tighter around me as he walked up to me. He looked a mess as well. His face was red and blotchy and there were dark rings under his eyes, his hair looked like it had been through a lot of hair pulling. I sighed, my eyes running the length of him to win some more time. He wanted me to speak first, but I couldn't quite find my voice.

"I know," I braced myself as I started, somehow wrapping my arms even tighter around myself. "that it wasn't your secret to tell," I looked him in the eyes and I could see water behind them. "But… when you hid that from _me_… you pushed me away farther than you could ever have." He inhaled and closed his eyes, stumbling forward to grab onto my arms and touch his head to mine.

"Sookie, I know, I'm so…" he whispered.

"Shush, I'm not done yet!" I whispered back.

Eric nodded, and pulled away, focusing his eyes on mine. "I'm sorry. Go on."

"The sudden increase in the length of your campaigns?" I asked. "Your… abrupt reluctance to have a baby, the long silences, the mysterious late night outings and hushed phone calls?" I shook my head as I made my list. "All of that… because of a mistake that wasn't even yours?" I was suddenly gripping his jacket instead of mine. "How could you have been so stupid?" He opened his mouth to speak and I halted him with a raised hand. "Why did you feel like you had to take this up on yourself? Why your parents' marriage did suddenly became _your_ burden? At the expense of _us_?" I shook my head and let go of him, stepping back. "If you _ever_ lie to me again, Eric… about _anything_… we're done. I don't trust you right now. I'm glad Felicia wasn't _your_ dirty mistress, but I have to wonder if your willingness to protect your…"

"_No_," Eric interrupted me, his voice full of outrage. "No!" he repeated and he carefully reached for my hands before he continued. "_I_ have _never_ even _wanted_ another woman, Sookie. Not ever since I laid my eyes on you. You can never put that in question, no matter what I did. I _never_ entertained the idea for a second. I certainly never brought anyone else to live in our house no matter how bad a fight we had!"

I clenched my jaw and wanted to snap back, but the jab at the Alcide episode wasn't something I could argue about.

"I accept that you don't trust me, but _never_, Sookie, never because somehow my covering for my father means I would do the same as him," he continued firmly. "You were not there, it was not your father, or your mother and sister… and you can't know what went through my head when I made the decisions I made, however disastrous they may have been."

I pondered that for a moment, wanting to argue. But I finally nodded. Indeed I couldn't claim to be able to walk in his shoes and have better judgment. No one could.

"I accept that," I said, looking into his eyes again. "But I mean the rest of it. _No more so-called white-lies._"

Eric nodded vehemently. "No more lies."

"And you're going to step out of this situation," I told him. "You're not going to help or _un_help this woman. It's your father's mess, he can handle it. Otherwise it becomes _your_ family too and I will _not_ have that."

"Fine." He didn't waste a beat. "It's done."

I nodded, feeling a knot forming in my throat, I was unsure why. I swallowed it and stared at his throat while I tried to find something else to say. I felt like I should keep spouting a string of conditions and rules, like it was the only way we would ever work again. But, in the end I sniffled and grabbed at his jacket and sobbed into his chest – the knot burst inside me and I recognized it. It was relief. Relief like I hadn't felt in five years.

Eric threw his arms around me with hesitation, like he wasn't sure it would be within my rules. But I guess he realized he was the only one there, so he finally embraced me, and ran his hand up and down my back, another settling on my bump – the baby had been quiet, but it stirred under his hand and I suddenly stopped sobbing when I felt it.

We stood there a long time, me calming down, the baby rising to come out and play with dad, completely clueless, which was a good thing, I guess. I was going into six months, I could only imagine what his level of awareness was – it was scary to think about it.

"I want to go home," I said after a while. "I don't know that your mom should be alone, though. Did Pam leave?"

"Yes, I guess she did," Eric looked thoughtful.

We found Helen back in the kitchen, she seemed to be re-organizing her china. Who could blame the woman? She looked up at us when we walked in, looking at me questioningly, I gave her a tiny nod.

"Oh good… minus one divorce in the family."

"Where is he?" Eric asked, and it was strange how there was little emotion in his voice.

"I don't know," Helen shrugged.

"Pam seemed to know where he was when she left…" I hesitated. "When I told her I really doubted he would go to… her… Pam seemed to know where he would have been."

Eric and Helen exchanged a knowing look. "The flat near the office," they said together.

"Is Pam going to be OK?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"The dangerous thing is a quiet Pam," Helen assured me. "While she's yelling and throwing stuff around, she's good." She paused. "She'll come back here when she's done."

"Are you sure?" Eric asked her.

"Yes, I'm sure. She's staying the night," she smiled at him. "You should take Sookie home. She had a long, trying day, and my grandson and daughter-in-law need to recuperate." I smiled gratefully at her.

"OK…" Eric walked over to his mother and kissed her hair. It was a relief when she embraced him in return. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Yes, of course."

I walked over to Helen and we hugged quietly, she patted my cheek encouragingly before she let me go.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2003**

It was Saturday morning and I was sleeping in just like I deserved to after the week I'd had. I was in that perfect, comfortable place between sleeping and awake where u can consciously tell yourself _screw this, I'm sleeping in_. I'm sure I was smiling as I sighed and snuggled deeper into my pillow. I had just started dreaming about the world's largest chocolate ice cream mountain when the invading, unwelcome sound of my door bell had my eyes snapping open in confusion.

I lay there, unmoving, with my eyes open, wondering if maybe I had dreamt it. But then it rang again and I frowned. Who the hell would come at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning? I kicked my covers and put on my sleepers, before striding out of my room and onto the tiny living room that led to the door. My apartment was pretty tiny, it made it easy to clean, but the walls were paper-thin, which meant you could hear the neighbors at all times. Because it was morning, it was pretty quiet and I wondered if the whole building had heard the door and was now silently cursing me.

I pulled the door open, ready to give whoever it was an earful. I guess I had been expecting Jason. He was the only one that tactless. But the expletive reserved solely for my brother died in my mouth when I saw it was actually Eric on the other side!

"Eric!" I gasped.

"Sookie," he grinned at me.

I took in the sight of him, from his clothes and duffel resting at his feet he had just landed. I blinked, looking up at him with surprise. "I wasn't expecting you back until next week!"

"Oh yeah…." He seemed to catch himself. "Surprise!" he made mock jazz hands and sing-sang. Then he stared at me, still standing there in my flannel pajamas, probably drooling a little. "Are you not happy to see me?"

The uncertainty in his look and voice was what snapped me out of it and I shook my head vehemently just before I ran the short distance and threw myself, quite literally in his arms. Eric caught me, half-surprised and I rained kisses down his face.

"You're welcome to surprise me like this anytime," I told him. "Even if you woke me up!"

Eric looked down at my pajamas and raised an eyebrow. "Aw, Sookie, tough week?"

I giggled and hugged him tightly. I loved that, even after less than a year together, he already knew I only chose flannel sleep pants over nightgowns if I was having a hard time. I unhooked my legs from around him, but Eric was still holding me, which made for a funny scene and I laughed as I wiggled my legs behind me until he put me down.

"Get your bag, come inside, the hall is cold!" I whispered, suddenly remembering the neighbors. I grasped his hand once he dropped his duffel by the door and started leading him to the bedroom. "Why did you fly in early? Something wrong at home?" I whispered over my shoulder.

"Sookie," Eric said once we were in the room and closed the door behind him. "I came here straight from the airport," he pulled me to him. "Why do you think I flew in early?"

I blushed involuntarily, both from his words and the feel of his hands sneaking under my shirt to caress my back. "Uhm… I don't know…" I whispered, closing my eyes as I felt his lips ghosting over the skin at the base of my throat. "Why?"

"I wanted to ask you something," he grew suddenly serious, pulling away to look straight into my eyes.

I chuckled. "Oh? There are phones, Eric."

"No, I had to ask this in person," he continued, but now there was a vulnerability to him that hadn't been there before.

I kept looking back at him, but my grin faded, my heartbeat suddenly went up and I think my eyes widened a little. "Oh?"

My nervousness seemed o restore some of his confidence, and he smiled a little, tugging me closer. "Sookie Stackhouse…"

"Yes?" I think I squealed.

"Marry me." He said in all seriousness.

It wasn't like I hadn't seen it coming, he was giving me several signals with his impulsiveness and his words, but I still gaped at him when he actually said it.

"But…" was the first word I blurted out and Eric was all vulnerable again. "No!" his eyes widened. "I mean _yes!_ But no, wait!" I grabbed at his jacket trying to make sense of my words.

"Uuuh… little lost here, Sookie," Eric said in mild panic.

"Ugh!" I dropped my head to his chest and pulled away. "Are you _sure_?"

Eric all but rolled his eyes. "Yes, Sookie, I'm pretty sure," he chuckled nervously. "I was going for impulsive and romantic here."

"But we haven't been together a year!" I pointed out.

"I don't care," Eric chuckled. "Do you?" he added a bit uncertain.

I opened my mouth but no answer came out straight away, which caused me to frown. "I don't know… maybe I do?"

"Sook," Eric leaned down and touched my cheek. "It doesn't matter how long it's been if we're sure of what we feel."

I felt all hot and bothered and guessed I must be blushing again. "Uhm…"

"Here's what I know," he said. "I want to be with you, all the time, which is tricky, considering what I do. But you're always on my mind and I only think about you when I'm away. I really, really, really want you next to me all the time, forever."

"Forever?" I smiled. "Forever _forever_?"

"What other kind of forever is there, silly girl?" he nudged me playfully, still keeping me locked tight in his arms.

I grinned, happy tears sliding down already. "I've never been asked before."

Eric's eyebrows raised. "It shows… you apparently don't quite know you're supposed to say _yes_."

I blushed and buried my face in his chest again, he smelled like airplane. "Yes!" my voice was muffled by his jacket.

"Sorry, what was that?" Eric tilted his ear down towards me and I swatted his chest and grunted. "No, that wasn't it."

"YES!" I enunciated correctly, to his face.

"Finally!" His lips crashed over mine even as I giggled stupidly.

Later that year, in April, Eric and I stood in a Chapel in the presence of our closest friends and family and promised to be together forever _forever_.

**2012**

Nine years later, as I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over to my side, to Eric's sleeping form I smiled bitter sweetly at the memory. I was 23 years old back then – I was, perhaps, too young to make such a promise – like most people who make it are. But I knew I had meant it back then. I discovered today that I still did. There was something so innocent about that time, so disarmingly pure – it was what they called youth. Only the young are brave enough to commit to the unknown. Because they don't truly know who they're making promises to. They don't know it yet, but it's to their future time spouses. Because it's the older, frazzled you who truly needs to live up to the promise.

I was frazzled, and jaded, but I wasn't a masochist and I knew the man sleeping in my bed. He wasn't perfect, but he was still mine, he still meant his forever. He never meant the harm he caused. If I couldn't see that, who could?

"Hey," Eric opened his eyes unexpectedly and blinked. "What are you doing here?"

I smiled, remembering we were on the air mattress in the nursery. I had confined him to his old dog-house, per se – at least until I stopped feeling like hitting him on the head every few minutes. But after I failed to fall asleep in our bed I had padded over to watch him and think.

"I couldn't sleep," I was honest.

"I'm sorry."

I smiled more, aware that, he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for anymore.

"I don't want to hit you anymore," I announced.

"That's good," he sighed sleepily. "But I'm too tired to move right now."

I chuckled. "I don't think I can get up from here without a tow-car," I confessed. "Lying down here was a very bad idea."

"I'll tow you in the morning," he said sleepily, closing his eyes.

"Alright," I sighed, turning to look up at the ceiling. "Eric?"

"Uhmm?"

"Maybe I still want to hit you just a little bit."

He sighed and rolled off the mattress which caused me to bounce awkwardly. He walked over to my side and offered me his hands, to hoist me up.

"Thanks," I said once I was up on my feet. "Night, Eric," I patted him on the shoulder as I walked past him

"Night," Eric simply fell back onto the mattress again.

I walked back to our bedroom and stared sadly at his side of the bed and the stupid laptop on his bedside table. What an insane day… I hoped to God this was over.

xxxxxxx


	12. Chapter 12

xxxxxx

**SPOV – 2009**

I stepped out of the ensuite, biting my lip nervously. Eric was sitting at the end of the bed watching me, a questioning look on his face. I looked down at the object in my hands.

"Two minutes," I sighed and then I walked over to sit next to him. I placed the pregnancy test between us and kept staring at it.

"Uhm, Sookie," Eric lifted my chin up. "Breathe!" he smiled.

I smiled sheepishly and nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to relax. I stood and walked to my vanity, reaching for my hairbrush. I could see Eric in the mirror, casting a quick look at the test before standing up himself and going into the closet. I sighed and continued working out the tangles in my hair – trying not to get too anxious – I knew it made Eric sad. We had been trying for months without success and I had started getting a bit dramatic about it, even though Indira had guaranteed there was nothing wrong with either of us – it was getting just too frustrating.

I frowned at my reflection as I tried to get through a particularly nasty knot and sighed, dropping the brush on the vanity and blowing hair out of my face. If this time it turned out negative again, I was going to call it quits. Maybe the universe just didn't want me to be a mother – who was I to question the universe? Maybe I was just supposed to launch myself into my career like other women were doing. I had just started working at WVN as a content manager assistant – which was pretty much _not_ what I'd signed up for. Perhaps, perhaps it was time to start truly investing in my future – I had received that _World Explorer_ brochure a couple weeks ago, mentioning some courses for budding journalists… maybe that was a sign. Maybe I should be doing that, instead of having increasingly frustrating reproductive sex with my husband.

"Ready?" Eric appeared behind me all of the sudden, circling my waist and smiling encouragingly.

I smiled back and nodded – having had finished my chat with the universe. We turned around and walked to the bed. Eric picked it up and held it for us to see. I stared for a good, full, silent minute at the thing before it registered – it was a _plus_ sign… a _plus_, not a negative, a _plus_…

"We're having a baby!" Eric was whispering in my ear while I still stared at the thing in his hand speechlessly. "Sookie?" he chuckled, shaking me a little. "Are you still there?"

I finally batted my eyes and looked up at him for a moment before grabbing the test from him and taking a closer look. There it was an actual plus sign. I sighed. "I was about to give up!" I confessed.

Eric pulled me closer and kissed my forehead gently, rubbing my arms encouragingly. "Too late sweetheart. We're going to be parents."

"Yeah!" I laughed into his shoulder, the joy finally catching up to me and I grasped around his back firmly and squealed happily. "We did it!"

"We did," Eric squeezed me back and I could tell he was really relieved.

I pulled back, feeling my smile testing the limits of my face, but I couldn't help it. I was nearly bouncing with joy and Eric grinned in response. "Oh! Have you bought the digital test too?"

He laughed. "I did… it's in the bag," he nodded at the drugstore paper bag on top of my vanity.

I looked over and fidgeted a little. Eric nudged me. "If it's going to make u feel safer, go ahead and do it. But you could just make an appointment with Indira as well."

I nodded and smiled. "You're right. You're coming with, right?"

"Of course – I'll be here all the time, like I promised."

I grinned at him and kissed him and hugged him. Take _that_ universe!

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

"So everything is just fine!" Lorena smiled at Tara and me while we sat in her office. "And both of you are giving birth around the same time so… I guess your babies already have a best friend!"

"That would be cute!" Tara smiled at me. "But if your boy gets fresh with my girl…"

"If your girl gets her paws on _my_ baby…!" I winked at her and we laughed.

"Ladies!" Lorena shook her head. "It's too soon for that," but she was grinning as well. "So, Tara, please speak to my secretary to schedule your next ultrasound. And Sookie I guess I'll be seeing you next week?"

"Yeah, that's right!" I said as we all started getting up.

"Excellent!" Lorena beamed and started going towards the door. "So Bill and Eric are apparently buddies now!"

I frowned. "Are they?"

Lorena laughed. "Bill has his eyes set on your husband, so he'll work on it, I believe," when I cocked an eyebrow at her she laughed. "Professionally speaking, Sookie. Bill wants Eric to write about his time as relief worker."

"Ah!" I laughed nervously, throwing Tara a quick, panicked look. "Right! Well, I wish him good luck. It's hard to get Eric out of his comfort zone."

"Bill loves a challenge," Lorena shrugged. "I hope to see you both soon, girls."

We said our goodbyes and left. We stopped at the reception so Tara could schedule her next ultrasound and then we walked out onto the street and down the corner for some hot drinks. After we sat down with our tea and milk and had shut up about the baby stuff, I caught Tara looking at me curiously.

"What, Tara?" I laughed.

Tara smiled. "Lafayette told me everything."

"He would!" I said in mock derision. "Go on!" I waved at her.

"Sookie, that's messed up!" she laughed, but I could see the shock in her eyes. "I mean… _seriously, _I've heard some strange shit in my time but _wow_!"

"I know," I sipped my tea and milk. "I still can't get over how crazy it all sounds."

"How's your mother-in-law doing?"

"She's coping," I sighed sadly at the thought of Helen alone in her house. "She blames herself for not finding out sooner. She recognizes there were signs."

Tara nodded. "Women from a certain time tend to…" she hesitated, probably not wanting to offend her.

"I know," I nodded. "She admits that. I called her this morning; she said she's packing all of Axel's remaining things so she can have his driver take it all away to wherever it is he's staying."

"You don't think he's with the other woman?" Tara cocked an eyebrow.

"Eric thinks it's not very likely. They had been fighting and Axel had been avoiding her."

Tara shook her head. "I still can't understand how Eric could cover this kind of shit with a clean conscience."

"Well… that was the thing, his conscience wasn't clean," I said sadly. "But he did anyway."

Tara shook her head but refrained from commenting. I hesitated for a moment and said.

"So… can I ask _you_ something personal?"

Tara grinned. "Sure."

"Where's your baby's father?"

Tara didn't look surprised by my question. "He's currently playing basketball at University."

I choked on my tea. "You cougar!"

Tara's eyes widened hilariously. "I'm not old enough to be a cougar, and he is totally legal!" she laughed. "But I get that a lot."

I laughed. "I meant it as a compliment."

"Oh shush, you did not!" Tara winked. "He can't support the baby now, but he seems to want to be able to. We'll see. I'm fine either way."

"Is he going to be here for, you know, the birth?"

Tara considered that. "He should probably be going to see his family at that time."

"You don't want him around." I deduced.

"Not one bit."

I thought that over for a moment and shrugged. That was her business. Even if it sounded a bit harsh – I had no say in it.

So I went home, changed, did some work from home, made a few phone calls and around 6pm I glanced outside and there was a soft drizzle. I got up from the table and leaned over the glass on the balcony window. The baby was a bit agitated, which made me agitated. So I had an idea. I ended up in the kitchen and two hours later I had a batch of freshly baked cookies and a cake in the oven.

"Hello!" Eric said as he stepped into the kitchen.

I looked up, while licking cake batter off a wooden-spoon and my eyes widened. I looked over the wall clock and saw it was past 8.

"Hey!" I put the cake batter away.

"What are you doing?" he smiled taking in my apron and messy kitchen.

"Baking stuff!" I smiled.

"Baking?" Eric paused in the middle of removing his damp jacket. His hair was damp was well, so it was probably still raining.

"Yeah! Mothers bake stuff, Eric!" I rolled my eyes jokingly. "It is known!"

Eric chuckled, hanging the jacket on one arm and leaning down to kiss me. He lingered a moment, and licked cake batter off my chin. "Chocolate."

I grinned. "Too predictable?"

Eric watched me a moment, his eyes dancing a little before he smiled. "You're _baking,_ Sookie."

I swatted his chest and pouted. "I've baked before!"

"Well, you look adorable," he said, fingering the strap of my apron. "Very 1950s."

"Shut up or you don't get to eat my cookies!" I shoved my finger in the middle of this chest and shoved him a little.

"There are cookies?" Eric looked around, surprised. "Are they chocolate cookies, Sookie?" he smiled, looking back at me.

I cocked my chin and put my hands on my hips. "Raisins, actually!"

"Ah…" he grinned.

I blew him a raspberry and started turning around but he pulled me back and kissed me again. I couldn't help but laugh into the kiss while playfully shoving him away. "Stop that!" I told him. "You are mean and don't get any cookies or cake!"

Eric in the past would have pouted – but Eric now was always a little wary that I was _not_ kidding these days. So when it came to that, he simply changed subjects, reaching into a plastic bag I hadn't even seen dangling from his wrist and taking out something flat, gift-wrapped.

"I got you something," he handed it to me. "Well, I got _us_, something."

"Oh!" I took it from him and eagerly tore at the paper. "Oh! A book of names!" I gasped.

"I thought it was probably weird we haven't really been discussing names by now," he said. "So… we should start."

I looked up at him, seeing the regretful look in his eyes and smiled sympathetically. We hadn't really been doing a lot of things we should be doing – because we'd been too busy dealing with the craptastic state of our relationship and, as it turned out, the even more craptastic state of my in-laws' relationship.

It was only two days ago the whole thing had come crashing down on us and, admittedly, I was probably not reacting accordingly. Perhaps I was being too perky and too happy – but I was afraid of acting any other way – I was afraid that if I did just let it go and _feel_ I wouldn't recover. I would become Tara… who'd separated the father of her child into a different category, and filed him under "not wanted" and "not a part of my life." I had been ready to do that when Eric was away in the field – I had nearly convinced myself that was what I wanted. But since he'd been back that certainty had vanished. I wanted the exact opposite – I wanted this with Eric, whatever the cost.

"Thank you!" I said at last, hugging the book to my chest. "It was a great idea! Maybe we can start looking into it tonight?"

"I'd like that," Eric smiled, rubbing my tummy absent mindedly. "I should probably help you with this mess though, or we'll never leave this kitchen."

"It's not that messy!" I protested, looking around.

Eric snorted, walking out of the kitchen, probably to shower and change. I went back to watching my cake and working on dinner. When Eric returned he helped me clean up and we sat down to eat with the book of names between us.

"I like Jordan," I said while forking a piece of my steak.

"Mmm," Eric said noncommittally since he was still chewing.

"No?" I asked, surprised.

He swallowed. "I don't want him to end up a _Jordy_."

I laughed. "We don't have to call him that!"

"Others probably will though," Eric said confidently.

I just shook my head. "Fine. Alex?"

He made a face. I rolled my eyes. "What?"

"Too common."

"I see…" I kept flipping pages of the book. "How about Humphrey?" I teased him. "Or Vaughan?"

Eric smirked at me, before reached for the book himself. "How about Jacob?"

"Or Jack?" I quipped.

"I won't even answer to that!" Eric laughed, reaching for his glass.

I grinned. "I like Jacob," I admitted. "Andrew?"

"It's not bad." Eric flipped through the book again. "Ethan?"

"I knew an Ethan once," I said reminiscently. "He was so dreamy."

"OK, not Ethan," Eric continued through the pages and I laughed. "Daniel."

I nodded. "I've always liked that name."

"Or Michael."

I nodded. "Or Leif!"

He looked over at me. "You'd consider Scandinavian names?"

"Why not? I like yours," I hesitated before saying. "It would follow with tradition… the men in your family…"

Eric looked down immediately. He hadn't been talking to his father. Axel had tried calling him numerous times, but to no avail. As far as I knew, none of the Northmans were speaking to him.

"I've always liked Johan!" I continued, not wanting him to go to a dark place. "Or Jesper."

"How about Corbert?" Eric suggested suddenly.

I frowned in surprise. "After Dad?" Eric nodded. "I always thought Jason would want to do that…"

Eric nodded and went to the next page. We ended up with a short list and talked about revisiting it tomorrow. Then we cleaned up and helped ourselves to a slice of cake. We both started laughing when it turned out I had done something terribly wrong because, it felt like chewing rubber. Eric tried to cheer me up by pointing out the cookies were delicious – but I knew he was lying, he was no fan of raisins.

It was time to get ready for bed, and again, I was anxious and fidgety. I _wanted _Eric back in our bed – but at the same time I didn't. Before, when I'd finally decided we could make it together and let him back, I was slowly working up the courage for us to be intimate again. But now, after what I'd found out, about how much he'd lied, how much he'd hidden from me, it didn't really matter that he wasn't the one having the affair. It was the principle – the double life was still there, he just wasn't the one having sex with her.

When I thought back to my run in with Felicia and the weird way she behaved like I was someone she was dying to meet… it just turned my stomach. The reason I'd demanded Eric stay out of her life was that I _knew_ women. She wanted to meet me because she was wondering what he'd seen in me. If Axel was turning out to be a bad company, who's to say she hadn't set her eyes on Eric? Eric with his penchant for helping people… Felicia acting like the poor, abandoned woman with the child… the setting was just too dangerous.

I'd accepted Eric back and I wanted him back – but I still needed to talk my heart and mind through some steps. It still hurt too much that he'd allowed himself to get caught in this. That he didn't realize the potential danger, or worse, that it was just so natural for him that it was fated to happen if I hadn't found out. Especially if I continued to deny him.

I shuddered to think of that – and tried to find comfort in the fact he'd agreed to my demand quite promptly.

After showering and changing I went to the nursery where I found Eric on a stool, changing the light fixture.

"Uhm… what are you doing?" I asked.

"It was making a hum," Eric said with his eyes on the task.

"Oh…" I waited as he climbed down and put the stool away. "I didn't know we had extra fixtures."

"I bought them on the way back from work. I'd noticed the hum Saturday night," Eric said, tossing the old fixture in the garbage can. "All fixed."

"Speaking about work," I said, stepping inside as Eric reached for his pillow to adjust it. "What's that I hear about Bill Compton asking you to write a book?"

Eric looked up, confused. "Who told you that?"

"Lorena," I shrugged. "I went to see her with Tara today."

"Ah," Eric looked relieved. "Yeah, there was talk of that."

"When?" I couldn't help but plunking down on the mattress while I watched him getting ready for bed.

"Saturday morning, when I ran into him at the park."

"You went to the park?" I was surprised.

"Yes, when I woke up and you weren't there I… I just wanted something to do." He tugged his covers and since I was sitting on them he cocked his eyebrows at me.

I made a face and stood so he could pull them. "Thank you."

"So… he wants you to write a book?" I continued.

"He wants me to write something. I don't know. It might be a chapter, or an article, or whatever. He wasn't very specific." He got onto the bed and then patted the spot I had been sitting on.

I sat back. "So, what did you say to him?"

Eric thought for a moment. "I can't remember. I think I said I had a lot going on."

"And?"

"He gave me his business card and asked me to think about it," Eric inclined his head. "Anything else you want to know about… anything, Sookie?"

I glared at him. "What, now every time I ask you questions you'll feel like I'm looking for something wrong?"

"Were you?" he asked sincerely.

I shrugged. "I was just curious. I couldn't imagine a situation outside of that party where the two of you would meet let alone discuss business propositions," I paused, watching his face softening. "And, I don't know… now that I hear it, I hope you think about it!"

Eric hesitated for a moment. "You really think I should do it?"

"I think you're very well equipped to talk about that," I smiled encouragingly. "It would be a way of promoting that kind of work, and I know what it means to you."

Eric seemed to take that into consideration and nodded. "I'll think about it." He reached for my hand. "Do I get a goodnight kiss?"

I smiled and I moved to my knees, leaning over to kiss him. Just a soft, sweet kiss. His hand reached for my bump and the baby immediately reacted.

"Oh, he's still up." Eric grinned proudly.

I sighed. "And now he'll be all night!"

"Nonsense," Eric looked up at me. "I'll talk to him."

I smiled. "Fine."

I let him help me lie beside him and he pushed his pillow under my head. I lay there and watched as Eric rested his head and hands on my tummy. The baby responded to him as he always did. It was amazing, as if he already knew and longed to hang out with his daddy. Maybe mommy was boring. Typical!

"Hey there baby!" Eric whispered and I smiled. "I can see you're up! But, guess what? Mommy needs her beauty sleep." I swatted his head in protest. "She needs lots of it because she's really really pretty," I rolled my eyes and snorted. "And that takes work." I chuckled and it got a reaction out o the baby too – I felt like a funny flutter and Eric and I exchanged a look. "She had a long night of baking. Her cake was awesome. You're going to love her baking…" I just kept shaking with laughter. "Mom's really tired now, though. So we need to go to sleep."

"Eric I don't think that's working!" I laughed as the baby just kept moving and kicking.

"Sssh! Let me do this!" Eric flashed me a confident look.

"Fine!" I rolled my eyes. "Baby whisperer!"

Eric chuckled. "Mommy is a comedian too, baby."

He kept whispering silly things to the baby, some of it made me chuckle too, but soon I was getting sleepier and sleepier, and I think it was working on the baby too because he grew quieter and quieter. Before I knew it, I was waking up sunlight on my eyes and it was only then I realized I'd spent the night on the air mattress. I blinked the light away and pushed myself up on my elbows. I looked over to my side and found Eric sleeping without a pillow and I pouted – poor guy.

"Eric?" I shook him lightly. "Eric, wake up!"

"Uh? What? What's wrong?" Eric sat up awkwardly, looking me up and down. "Are you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I smiled sheepishly. "You know I'd be a disaster getting myself out of this bed on my own, do you mind?"

Eric nodded and got up easily, I pouted harder at the fact he got to move about like a leaf while I was a frigging whale in progress. He hoisted me up gently.

"I'm sorry for hogging your pillow," I winced at the way he was craning his neck now to work out the kinks.

"It was worth it," he winked playfully, sitting back down on the bed while I stood watching him. "Do you work from home today?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to stop by in the afternoon for a meeting," I reached over and removed his hand that was working on his neck. "Let me…" he looked up at me funny. "Just…" I ended up kneeling back on the mattress and moving to get behind him. "I'll help you," I started massaging his neck and shoulders. "Bend down a little."

"Uh, Sookie," Eric said in a strained voice.

"Just relax!" I told him,

"Uh yeah," Eric grabbed my hands gently and stood up and away, spinning around quickly, still holding my hands while I gaped at him. "I'm gonna be late so… I'll just relax in the shower." He kissed the top of my head before dashing out of the room.

I sat there, on my calves, slightly deflated as I knew I was a terrific masseuse when it suddenly occurred to me what had happened and I covered my mouth with my hand as a laugh burst out of me. Oh poor Eric. And mean, _mean_, _mean_ Sookie!

Then something else occurred to me. I had to get out of the damn mattress by myself. Great.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2010**

I got into the apartment and the minute I did I could already feel as if the temperature dropped and the air grew thicker. I sighed as I realized there were no lights on in the living room or kitchen and dropped my duffel bag next to the door. Running to the gym in the late afternoon had become an escape for me as of late. We were both escaping I guess. I just wished she was escaping in a way that scared me a little less. I went straight for our bedroom, bracing myself.

The door was open but the entire room was dark, except for the little light that was still coming through the window – she had let the shades open. I could see her form in the dark under the covers. She was lying facing away from me, but judging by the way her shoulders went up and down, as if for a sigh, I assumed she was awake. I walked over to the bed and sat behind her, reaching over to caress her shoulder.

"Sookie," I called gently.

It had been a tough new year for us. Sookie had miscarried on the night of January 1st – just after we'd gotten back from Bon Temps. It wasn't her fault, miscarriages were most common in the first trimester – but there was no convincing Sookie of that. She kept saying if she hadn't insisted on making the drive for the New Year, with the road packed as it was, it wouldn't have happened. Not even Indira assuring her it was nothing she did seemed to work.

I was losing my faith. To watch Sookie dive into depression was just killing me – not to mention that I was also broken hearted. But nothing I said or did seemed to work. Not even Adele could do it. She had Jason drive her to Shreveport on the first week to stay with us, and she stayed for two weeks. Sookie tried to appear well for her, but Adele wasn't fooled. As soon as she left, though, Sookie stopped trying.

"Sookie," I called again when I got no answer.

"Eric," she muttered back, I could see she had her eyes open; she was staring at the wall. "How was the gym?"

"It wasn't worth it," I said.

"Then stop going," she sighed.

"Sookie, it's Friday night," I said, gently rubbing her back. "Don't you want to go out? We could go to the Daltons, go to the movies? You need to get back out there, sweetheart." I urged her for what felt like the millionth time.

"You go out!" she sighed and she scuttled away from me, getting out of bed on the other side. She was still wearing her sweat suit from early in the morning. "I just wanna stay here."

"Sookie," I pleaded with her. "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom," she said and went inside closing the door behind her.

I sighed and looked at our bed. It was a mess; the sheets hadn't been changed in days so I decided to do it before she sneaked back into it. I got up, turned the lights on and stripped the bed of its sheets and pillowcases and quilt. I went into the closet to find a new set and when I came back I saw the door to the bathroom open. I tossed the clean sheets on the bed and went inside to peek, but Sookie was no longer there. I sighed, thinking maybe she had gone to make herself something to eat, which was better than just lying there. I finished making the bed and decided to go looking for Sookie.

I found her in the kitchen, the light was off but the little TV was on and I could see her face in the blueish light. She looked awful and sad, and I didn't know what to do anymore. I saw a mug of coffee in front of her and wished she had gotten something to eat as well.

"Are you hungry?" I asked walking in and turning on the light.

Sookie reacted as if she had been struck and then she looked up at me sharply. "No! I'm fine. There's food in the fridge though, you just need to pop it in the microwave."

"It's not me I'm worried about Sookie."

Sookie dropped her face between her hands and started to cry. I moved over and slid into the stool next to her and tried to embrace her but she pushed me away.

"You have to stop Eric!" she whined. "You're smothering me! You need to let me be!"

"Smothering you?" I gaped at her. "Sookie look at yourself! You're not eating, you're not taking care of yourself, all you do is sleep and you've been going in to work less and less! Claudine is worried about you! I'm worried about you! Everyone's worried about you!"

"Well everyone can just shove off!" Sookie stood up. "I don't need anyone crowding me!" she said loudly, gesticulating and from the way her face grew red, you would almost believe she was surrounded by people crowding her space. "People need to leave me alone! Especially _you!_" she glared at me and left the kitchen.

I slumped my shoulders and just sat there – not wanting to go after her at all. I wondered if it made me a bad husband, or just tired as fuck. I looked around the kitchen, wondering if I should just make myself a sandwich and call it a night. But my phone rang and I reached into my pocket. I rolled my eyes at the caller ID.

"Yeah?" I picked up.

"_Eric?_" Felicia's voice was excited. "_Thank God, you picked up! I've been trying to call your Dad, but it's not coming through. Where is he?_"

"He's in Austin, didn't he tell you?" I sighed, not in the mood for this at all.

"_Since when?_"

"Uh, yesterday I think. It wasn't a planned trip but he had to go," I paused. "Why do you need him?"

"_It's Jessica…_" Felicia trailed off as if she was doing something. "_God she'd burning up!_"

"Did you take her to a hospital?" I asked, exasperated.

"_No, I didn't want to go alone. Hospitals scare the crap out of me, Eric. I wanted Axel to be here._"

"Well, that's not gonna happen. Take her to the damn hospital! What's near you? Clayton? Memorial?" I spoke in the whispered voice I used whenever I found myself on the phone with my dad's mistress.

"_Neither_! _And I don't have my car anyway!"_

I sighed. "Felicia…"

"_Couldn't you come and see what's wrong with her?_"

"You should see a pediatrician…"

"_Please?_"

I closed my eyes, thinking this was the last fucking thing I needed tonight. "Fine."

I walked back into our bedroom and Sookie had just gone back to sleep. I wanted to reach over and shake her awake and have a fight just to keep her there with me. In the end I changed my clothes, grabbed my keys and walked out, finally getting a hold of my father when I got to the car.

"Your daughter is sick," I told him.

"_Jessica? Why didn't Felicia call me?_"

"She's been trying, check your messages. How long are you going to be there?"

"_At least until tomorrow afternoon. What's wrong with Jessica?_"

"I don't know. She hasn't taken her to a doctor yet. Says hospitals scare her," I rolled my eyes. "I'm going over to check on her, don't worry."

"_Oh, Eric, please, do that. Felicia is a bit weird with these things."_

"No shit."

There was a pause. "_Where did you tell Sookie you were going?_"

"Didn't have to tell her anything. She's just sleeping, all the time, when she's not yelling at me."

There was a sigh. "_That poor girl… You should get her to see a psychiatrist, Eric. Helen thinks she might be seriously depressed._"

"Maybe mom can convince her because she won't listen to me. She hates me."

"_Oh son, no she doesn't. I'll talk to Helen. We'll come by to see her and Helen will get to her_."

I sighed, feeling a certain relief. "I would really appreciate that."

"_Call me after you see Jessie, will you?_"

"Sure."

I drove the 45 minutes to get to Reinheart Tower II. The doorman nodded at me when he buzzed me in and I just went straight to the elevator.

Felicia was waiting at the door for me, all fidgety and closed it behind me as soon as I was in.

"She's been on the couch with me because Disney movies distract her," she whispered.

The living room was lit only by the television and the side table lamps. I walked over to the bundle in the middle of the couch and kneeled in front of it. Jessica peered at me through long lashes and smiled a little, making a loud sound like she often did when she recognized me.

"Hey, Jessie!" I smiled at her and she immediately grabbed my finger. "Not feeling good, are we?"

She struggled to get the bunched up quilts off of her so she could climb on my lap, I helped her and scooped her up, sitting on the couch with her. She was very hot and clammy and her nose was a bit runny.

"Has she been vomiting? Has she had diarrhea?" I asked as I carefully palmed her little neck.

"Vomiting, yes," Felicia sat on the center table, watching me nervously. "Not diarrhea, at least, not yet."

"It could be the flu," I said holding Jessica on her back on my lap.

"Is that too bad?"

"For babies it can be," Jessica started getting antsy and crying. "Sssh, it's alright, Jessie."

"What… what do I do?"

"Did it start today?" I asked holding Jessica close to me which seemed to suit her better.

"Yes."

"Fluids, lots of it. Just give her a bottle as often as you can. And she should get plenty of rest. If in three days she doesn't improve then maybe it's time for antibiotics in case she develops something else." Felicia nodded all through it with wide eyes. "You should call her pediatrician in the morning and talk to them." She nodded again. "If it doesn't go away in three days, take her to them, got it?"

"Yes, yes, Eric." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Give her to me," she stretched her arms.

I gave Jessica over to her and smiled when Jessie looked at me, wide-eyed and pouting. My smile soon became sad, when I thought about my own baby which I had just lost.

"I'll get her a bottle right now and put her in the crib," Felicia said standing up from the center table.

"Yeah, you should."

"Thank you so much for coming!" Felicia said as I followed her to the kitchen. "I just wish I had gotten a hold of Axel…"

"I did. He's going to call you tonight," I looked outside, it was already completely dark.

"I hope I didn't get you in trouble with Sookie?" Felicia asked as she put the bottle in the boiling water.

I laughed bitterly. "_You_ did not."

She made a face. "She's not doing well, is she?" I shook my head, staring at Jessica's kicking little feet. "Poor thing! I can't imagine going through what she's been through. It's been what, three weeks?"

"Yeah," I looked up, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Three weeks, it already feels like a year."

She smiled sympathetically. "She needs you, Eric. I know you're suffering too but… she needs you."

"I don't think she realizes that."

Felicia put Jessica on the high chair and walked over to me. "Hey…" she patted my shoulder. "It's not going to be like this forever, huh? She'll get better. You both will. And when she's ready, you can try again!"

Yeah because it was so easy the first time around. I just nodded, knowing it was better to accept comfort than to deny it – that would just turn me into Sookie, and we already had one of those.

Felicia turned to give Jessica the bottle, and a few minutes of watching her struggling to suckle with her nose all clogged up was enough for me. That baby was cute and adorable, and currently needing love and care – but she wasn't mine. Caring for Jessie too much was not going to be good for me. I silently cursed my father again as I said good-night to both girls and turned to leave.

I drove back home and it didn't surprise me when it started to rain. I parked in the garage and got in the elevator, when I was just going through the ground floor, the elevator stopped, I looked up as my mother got in.

"Mom?"

Mother came and threw her arms around me and it was all I could do not to cry like a loser. I hugged her back.

"What are you doing here?"

"Your father called," mother said as she turned to press our floor again. "I just couldn't _wait_. Poor Sookie, poor you! Where were you, what are you doing in the elevator?"

I cursed my father again as I thought up a lie. "I just went out a little, before I went crazy."

Mother looked at me with equal parts admonishing and sympathy. "Well, I understand that…" She sighed. "You go in and talk to her a bit while I make some tea, then you leave us girls alone."

"OK."

I couldn't say how happy I was that my mother was here. I suddenly felt like everything was going to be alright. An adult had finally arrived, it felt like.

We walked inside and to my surprise the lights in the living room were on and Sookie was curled up on the couch with the TV on. She looked over her shoulder quickly, as if she had been waiting for me to turn up and the look on her face made me feel like an idiot for leaving her alone. She looked like she was going to cry and then she saw my mother coming behind me.

"Helen?" she was surprised.

"Sookie dear!" mom walked over to her and pulled her into her arms. Sookie melted instantly and burst into tears. Mother nodded at me over Sookie's shoulder and I got the message.

Change of plans then, I make the tea, mom just talks to Sookie. I went straight for the kitchen and started grabbing the things I needed. I could hear both their voices dimly, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. The rain beating down on the window wasn't helping. The tea was ready too soon and I was afraid mom hadn't gotten all the time she needed and my being there would ruin everything. But as I poked my head out of the kitchen mom looked up at me and nodded with a smile.

I walked over and set the tray on the table in front of them. Sookie was curled up against mom and she looked up at me when I handed her the tea.

"Thanks," she offered me a tiny smile.

"Thank you, Eric, dear," mom smiled as well. "We need a little bit more girl time," she winked at me.

"Ok, I'll just… I'll…" I pointed in the general direction of our room.

I sat on the bed and I felt suddenly exhausted, but I couldn't go to sleep, I knew it just wouldn't work that way. I hadn't been sleeping right for three weeks. So I just lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, focusing on the sound of the rain beating down relentlessly.

I honestly don't know how much time passed, but, at some point, I heard the door open and close and then I sat up. Sookie was standing by the door, staring at me. She still looked puffy faced, like she'd been crying, but there was also something different in her. She walked over to me and sat next to me, her eyes on my lap.

"Did mom just go?"

"Yeah she did," Sookie's voice was hoarse. "She wished you good night and she'll call tomorrow."

"Ah."

Sookie finally looked at me. "I haven't been fair to you."

I just reached over and pulled her by the back of her neck, resting her forehead against mine. "I just miss you Sookie. I miss you. I want you back, but I don't know how to pull you out of wherever it is that you are."

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I haven't tried hard enough."

I just wanted to hold her, so I did. I pulled her onto my lap, relieved when she just wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on the crook of my neck. I held her tight and kissed her forehead and told her how much I loved her and how afraid I was to lose her too.

I think I was the one who mostly slept that night. Sometimes I would wake up, and Sookie would be on her side, running her fingers through my hair. I'd ask her if she was OK and she'd just say she'd slept too much already.

In the morning I woke up alone, but thought it might actually be a good sign. I got up and showered and got dressed. I thought maybe I could finally convince Sookie to go out a little, even if it was just for a walk.

I found her in the kitchen, still in her bathrobe, her hair still a little damp. She was nursing a hot cup of coffee and going through a pile of neglected mail. I guess we both had been too in our own heads to bother.

"There's a couple here for you," she told me when I showed up. "From Russell's office."

"Ah…" I sat across from her and reached for the milk bottle. "I'll look at them later."

Sookie watched me as I poured my milk. "Aren't you curious? Were you expecting mail from them at this time?"

I shook my head as I took a large gulp. "Not really. Go ahead and open them," I shrugged.

Sookie smiled and did tear the first one open, pulling out two sheets of printed paper. I reached over for a cracker and buttered it up.

"Oh…" she said after a while. "Wow…"

"What?" I asked absent mindedly, wondering if it would be dry enough for a walk or if there was more rain coming.

"They're calling reinforcements…" Sookie said. "You know, for Haiti." Sookie kept reading.

Through our own drama, I was vaguely aware there had been some disastrous earthquake somewhere in Haiti and it had been pretty bad. It didn't surprise me that Russell would be all over it.

"Yeah, they need all the help they can get, I guess," I said, suddenly thinking of the kind of mobilization it took for something like that.

"You should go," Sookie said unexpectedly.

I looked up as she was putting the papers aside to go back to her coffee. I frowned. "I'm not leaving you now."

"Eric, I'll be fine," Sookie said firmly. "You don't need to go straight away. I don't think this is something they can fix in a short time anyway," she shrugged. "But you should go. It's what you do. You should do what you always do. Those people need all the help they can get."

I frowned, wondering why she was giving me that speech now. Was she just trying to prove to me she was fine, which was total bullshit by the way, or was she trying to tell me something else?

"I don't want to think about that right now," I said just as firmly. "I'm taking care of you now. I'm taking you for a walk, so… get your running shoes on."

Sookie looked up at me over the rim of her cup and smiled a crooked smile. "You giving me orders? Helen is the only Northman that can pull that off."

I smiled back. "Well, I can always call her."

Sookie grinned now, and it made my heart soar. But it was short lived; she was soon staring at the papers from Russell on the table, with a faraway look in her eyes.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2012**

I was standing alone, looking at some X-Rays against a lit-panel on the wall, lost in thought when I heard the sound of rubber shoes behind me before Crystal's voice interrupted me.

"Morning, Doc!"

"Morning, Crystal," I looked over my shoulder at the short nurse. "Wasn't today your day off?"

"Not anymore thanks to your friend Dr. Screwlin!" she stopped by my side with a cup of something sweet smelling.

I laughed, appreciating Steve's newest nickname. I really liked having Crystal around.

"Well he's the boss," I said. "He can do that."

"The hell he can!" Crystal snorted. "Anyway, you have to put up with me today! I'm on your floor."

"Great, you can start by," I whisked the X-rays away and shoved them back into the envelope. "Taking this to Farrell."

"OK," Crystal finished her drink and tossed the plastic cup in the trash. "And Doc," she said eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yeah?" I said as I started to follow her out.

"You look a bit wound up."

"You have no idea."

The morning was relatively standard with just enough activity to keep everybody on their toes. When I finally found time to go to the cafeteria I reached for my phone to check for messages. There was another missed call from my father that went ignored. I still didn't want to deal with him. I couldn't help him anymore – it was out of my hands. He had to clean up after himself now, and live with the consequences. Unexpectedly, there was a missed called from Pam too. I frowned. I hadn't expected her to be wanting to speak to me yet. I quickly dialed her number.

"Pam?"

"_Eric!_"

"You called?"

"_I did. Are you at work?_"

"Yeah, but I'm on my way to the cafeteria so go ahead."

"_I'm just… checking on you._"

"Oh. Really?" I frowned.

"_For God Sakes Eric, don't piss me off! Yes! Really! I still think you're an enabling-jerk!_"

"Thank you, Pam."

"_But… well, you're my stupid brother. You're going to be a Dad and I'm here hoping you haven't hopelessly fucked that up yet._"

"Ah… well," I got out of the elevator and tried to find a private corner to speak. "We're OK. We're back to the drawing board. Back to trying to get past everything. Hope that's good enough for you."

"_Don't be funny with me!"_ I rolled my eyes. "_And don't roll your eyes at me!"_

"Where the hell are you?" I started looking around me fearfully.

Pam sniggered on her end. "_Oh Eric… you're so easy. And a jerk. But I gotta keep an eye on you for mom, coz she has to take care of herself._"

I sighed, leaning on the wall behind me. "How is she holding?"

"_She's thinking about selling the house. She started asking me about real-estate. I'm dumping that on you. You find her a place!_"

"Uhm… fine, if that's what she really wants."

"_It is… the sooner she's out of there the better. Have you talked to Dad?"_

"No. Have you?"

"_Not since that night. I told him he can forget he ever knew me! I'm selling my shares._"

"Oh, wow… are you sure you wanna do that?"

"_Yes, I am. I'm talking mom into doing the same. What are you gonna do?_"

"Pam, let mom be. She's gonna need her shares now more than ever."

"_Do you think I haven't thought about that? I just want to help her get rid of everything that man still means. I can get her to work on my Magazine, she'll be fine._"

I had to admire Pam. She was harsh, but she was thorough.

"Look, I gotta eat something Pam. Thanks… for still talking to me."

"_Yeah you better be grateful!_"

"Love you too."

I hung up and started heading to the cafeteria. Steve soon joined me at my table and we caught up on what we'd been up to so far. After that was done, Steve started talking about Sarah and their wedding and I started wanting to punch him in the face. Happy couples nauseated me. I kept waiting for it to be Sookie and me, and not just other people.

We were doing OK in most things, we both were clear that we wanted to be together. But I missed the connection. I missed being with her. Before the whole Felicia thing blew up in our faces, I felt like we had been so close. I knew she was insecure about pregnancy sex, but I also knew she missed me too. Now it was back to square one, but it was like every time Sookie touched me, however innocently, I was in trouble. Mornings were exceptionally horrible. Her being there this morning just made it worse. I was going for another jog after work today…

"So, what do you say?" Steve's grinning face was asking me.

I was sucking my juice through a straw noisily and stopped when I realized I had just missed an important chunk of information there. What did I say about what?

"Uh…" I put my cup down. "I'm gonna need more information, Steve…" I tried.

Steve just nodded. "Barbecue, of course! We have an awesome outside space. You and I can grill the meat while Sookie and Sarah girl talk inside in the kitchen!"

Oh good gravy… He was talking about double dates again. I'd hoped he had forgotten that.

"Right uhm…" I poked my food around my plate. "Why don't you have Sarah call Sookie and they can work it out?"

"Smart man, Eric!" Steve laughed. "I'll do that. I'm thinking we _have_ to do this before we tie the knot, since you're going to be my best man and all."

I choked on my piece of chicken. When had I agreed to that? "What?"

Steve beamed at me. "Oh yeah," he dropped his fork. "Eric, buddy, will you be my best man?"

Oh shit what do you say to that?

"Uhm… me?" I looked around thinking he had to have a better friend somewhere but he just nodded at me expectantly with his toothpaste commercial smile "Wow… I'm… I'm flattered." You're stalling Eric. "Sure, Steve. Damn… sure."

"Great!" Steve reached over and patted me on the back. "That makes me happy!"

I think I secretly hate weddings.

xxxxxxx


	13. Chapter 13

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

The meeting went as predictably as possible, but it was long, as were all meetings at WVN – which meant I got increasingly uncomfortable in that damn chair. So as the people started filing out I had to sit and wait until I could move without embarrassing myself.

"Need help?" Claudine asked knowingly as she walked towards me and leaned against the table next to me.

"No, I just need a minute," I said swiveling around to stretch my legs. "Can't believe I still have roughly three more months of this to endure."

"This is why I will never do it!" Claudine said shuddering.

I sighed, pushing myself up and adjusting my clothes. I was mostly wearing dresses now. Temperatures had been dropping though so now I had to buy some of those extra thick panty hoses as well. It was also annoying to constantly be told how cute I looked by all the other skinny ass women at the office.

"So…" Claudine watched me as I packed my laptop and my papers. "How's life at the insane Northman asylum?"

"Huh?" I frowned at her.

"Pam told me," she said conspiratorially.

I gave her a narrow-eyed look. "I didn't know you and Pam were that close."

"We're not!" Claudine grabbed my briefcase and laptop case and nodded towards the door so we'd start moving. "I just ran into her at Lorena's."

"When did _that_ happen?" I looked at her getting more confused by the minute.

"Sunday evening, so… last night."

I shook my head. "Pam met Lorena at your party!"

"I know." We arrived at my desk and Claudine leaned against it as I searched my drawers for things I needed. "Well, I was dropping by anyway for drinks. So when I got there, Bill answered, did the honors and then told me Lorena had company out in the balcony and she could be tied up for a while."

"And it was Pam…?" I asked, trying to make sense of it.

"It was. As soon as Bill told me it was her I went over there to say hello and… well… you can imagine my surprise when I find Pamela Northman sniffling like an abandoned toddler while Lorena tried to console her."

"Aw, poor Pam," I reached into my drawer to get rid of some of my papers. "So then what happened?"

"Well, she told us the whole story!"

I flinched. "Ugh, Lorena knows too? I just saw her this morning!"

"Don't worry, she is very discreet!" Claudine waved it away while handing me my briefcase. "So, that's how I know."

"Huh…" I shook my head as I started dumping papers from my briefcase into my drawer. "Well, life is strange."

"I'll say," Claudine said as I closed my drawer and we started to walk again. "I can only imagine what poor Helen is going through," she rubbed my back gently. "And you… I can't believe you went all _spy_ on Eric!" here she laughed a little.

"Ugh!" I closed my eyes as we reached the elevators. "It was a low point in my life."

"But at least now everything is out in the open and you did Helen a huge favor!"

"I feel so bad for her," I said as we got in. "And I honestly don't know how I'll _ever_ face my father-in-law again! I mean, he screwed with my life! He talked Eric into lying for me, for years!"

"Well, that was also a bit of Eric's skewed notions of protecting people. He meant well but God… what an ugly mess."

"Tell me about it." I blew air out through my mouth as the elevator dinged open and we got to the garage.

"I just hope you're hanging well in there," Claudine rubbed my shoulder as we walked. "You went through a lot emotionally."

"I'm hanging," I smiled at her. "I now have an explanation to so many things… it's easier to work past them."

"That's a nice way to look at it."

"Do you mean it's naïve?" I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"No," Claudine giggled. "The glass is half full."

I snorted and opened the door to my car, tossing my briefcase onto the back seat and stowing my laptop under the passenger seat. I straightened back up, rubbing my back a little and then I stopped, looking a Claudine with my eyes narrowed. "So… Pam and Lorena are friends now?"

Claudine made a face like she thought _now_ I was _definitely_ being naïve. "They got along pretty well, I guess!"

I just shook my head and got into the car. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Drive safely," Claudine closed my door for me.

I stopped on the way, for groceries, and by the time I made it into the elevator it was already 6pm. The apartment was in complete darkness and I pouted, thinking Eric was going to stretch his shift or something. When I got to the kitchen there was a note on the fridge – he'd gone out for a jog, and then something else about expecting a call from Sarah. Who the hell was Sarah and why should _I_ be expecting her call?

I tossed the note aside and started putting the groceries away. I had to make room in the fridge so I decided to get rid of the fail cake. I popped a raisin cookie into my mouth and put the rest of the groceries away. I continued pouting my way through the apartment until I decided to shower before I got started on dinner.

The shower made me feel better; it definitely eased the pain on my back, staying there under the hot spray. I briefly contemplated spending the remaining trimester in there, wrinkly extremities be damned! I sighed happily, leaning against the wall on my forearms and letting the water pound onto my back. I closed my eyes and just stood there in the steaming bathroom, thinking about how good I currently felt.

I must have lost track of time, dozed off standing, something. Because, next thing I knew I heard pounding on the back of my mind, and Eric's voice. And suddenly, my eyes shot open as the sliding door was being yanked open and a panicked Eric stood there, staring at me.

"What?" I lifted my head, suddenly aware of how heavy it felt. "What's wrong?"

Eric's eyes did a brief scan of me before he leaned past me to get to the shower tap and cut the water off.

"What?" I asked again, still kind of holding onto the wall.

"How long have you been steaming in here?" Eric asked me pulling away, there was water on his tracksuit now and he looked worried.

"Uhm… what time is it?" I asked as I watched him grab my bathrobe from its perch and offer me his hand to help me out.

"It's ten past nine." He told me as he helped me into the robe.

"Oh God!" I hugged the robe to me, suddenly realizing how light-headed I was. "Did I fall asleep?"

"I don't know," Eric pushed the bathroom window open to help and de-fog the place. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

I let him lead me back into the bedroom, taking note of how my legs felt a bit jelly-like. Eric sat me on the bed and kneeled in front of me, going into full clinical mode as he touched the sides of my face to check my eyes and feel my throat.

"How do you feel?" Eric asked as he reached into the bedside table for his digital blood pressure cuff and latched it on my wrist.

"Just a bit light headed," I said soothingly. "Really Eric, I just dozed off. I must have been more tired than I knew."

"Well, blood pressure's OK," he said with relief. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry!" I said sheepishly. "How long have you been home?"

"About 30 minutes. I heard the water running so I just left you to it to unpack takeout…"

"Oooh you brought food!" I said, suddenly feeling much better.

"And then when you just didn't come out I came in and knocked and called out to you and you just didn't answer." Eric ignored my food enthusiasm, still looking very nervous. He reached for my tummy and to his relief little Humphrey was lively as always.

"Uh, yeah, that sounds scary," I said apologetically. "But, did you mention you brought food?"

Eric shook his head at me, laughing. "Steak dinner from Frederick. Is it still your favorite?"

I pondered that for a moment. "Only if there're bananas in there somewhere!"

Eric nodded. "I think I can… arrange that."

I grinned as I watched his deflated look, probably regretting having to step out to find bananas for his pregnant wife after 9pm.

"I bought groceries, we have bananas." I told him.

"Oh, thank God!" He braced his hands on either side of me on the bed and pushed himself up. "I just need a shower and then I'll fix it for you."

After we finally ate dinner, we moved to the couch and Eric offered me a foot rub while I had him tell me who the hell was Sarah.

"Huh, so Steve's got you to be his best man? That's cute. I didn't expect that. When it came down to our wedding you picked Chow." I leaned back on my arms and watched him, getting more and more relaxed.

"Steve's not a girl, Sookie," Eric teased me. "It doesn't work like that."

"Yeah I don't think Arlene is ever going to forgive me for picking Amelia." I sighed as I remembered the huffs and puffs and pointed looks and comments about Amelia looking fat in her dress.

"And ironically, we haven't seen either of them in ages!" Eric pointed out.

"Arlene's in Dallas, I hear. Amelia's just being Amelia and travelling the world with her multiple boyfriends. She actually sent me a gift when she heard I was pregnant."

"Oh?"

"Yup, a book on birth control." When Eric stared at me I laughed. "It was a joke!"

"Amelia's weird as fuck," Eric shook his head, continuing his admirable ministrations on my feet.

"December is an awful weird month to get married though," I said with a sigh. "I mean, it's Christmas."

"Well, it´s early December," Eric argued. "It doesn't interfere with most people's plans."

I looked down at my bulging belly. "It does interfere with me looking good in an evening dress!"

I could feel Eric looking over at me. "Don't be silly, you've never looked as beautiful as you do now."

I smiled, my cheeks flushing the 2002 Sookie way and I felt suddenly very warm. Catching my blush made Eric smile too. He looked back at my feet and carried on. But I'd caught a glimpse of those dark, cloudy blue of his eyes and I knew what that meant – it just made temperatures rise even more. I was suddenly back in the steamy bathroom and I wanted to switch the water to cold.

I inhaled sharply and shifted on the couch, causing Eric to look up at me questioningly. I just smiled innocently and kept quiet.

"So, I was thinking," Eric said while he continued working - my feet were starting to tingle. "We have a complete nursery, but we should really get a bassinet for our bedroom. The baby will have to sleep in our room until he's big enough to sleep through the night."

Glad to have something else to think about other than how hot my husband looked I latched on. "Oh my God, you're right! I hadn't thought of that! I'd just seen that complete set on Amy's catalogue and fell in love with it. I guess we could push the crib into our room… but yeah, a bassinet would be better." My lower back would appreciate the reduced effort to get the baby in and out of it. "Ugh, I can't believe I didn't think of it!"

"We can go shopping for one this week," Eric suggested. "Anything else you think we should get?"

I grinned. "I'd say clothes. I only got a couple newborn things, and I know Gran and your Mom are probably going to be knitting him stuff. They grow out of those things so fast though!"

Eric was going to say something, when suddenly the house phone rang. I reached for it on the side table.

"Hello?"

"_Sookie, dear. How are you?"_ it was Helen, her voice was very strange.

"Hi Helen, I'm good. How are you?" I looked at Eric and he even stopped what he was doing.

"_I'm… fine, dear. Is Eric home?_"

"He's right here. Hang on." I handed the phone to Eric at the same time I pulled my feet back and scooted closer to try and listen. Eric leaned down so I could stick my ear to the phone.

"Mom?"

There was a sigh. "_Eric. You're the last person I want to disturb right now, honey…_"

"Is he there?" Eric asked knowingly.

"_Yes, he's drunk. I managed to get him on the couch, I think he fell asleep._"

"I'm coming over," Eric said darkly.

"_Thank you dear. Apologize to Sookie for me, I didn't want to disturb you._"

"_You're_ not the disturbance," Eric muttered. "I'll be right there."

Eric hung up and stood from the couch, the darkness in his eyes now completely changed. I reached for his hand before he dashed to get changed and gave him a sympathy squeeze and smile. He sighed, leaned down and kissed me.

"Don't forget your cell phone," I said as he started going to the bedroom.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

My father is an asshole. That is not a nice thing to find out about one of your parents. No matter how old you are. For the last five years I'd seen sides of my father I wish I never had. But this was definitely rock bottom.

He'd come to the house, completely wasted, to beg for mother's forgiveness. He started with crying and begging and slowly progressed to blaming her instead, then back to crying and feeling sorry for himself. He was snoring on the couch when I got there and my first priority was to make sure mother was alright, that her pressure hadn't escalated, or that he hadn't hurt her. She promised me she was fine – but that she wanted him out of there.

"I think it's time to call Stan Baker," Mom said when we were sitting in the kitchen.

Stan Baker was the Vice President, father's right hand, and probably someone he wished had been his son instead. I could see why we would need him – Axel Northman was spiraling out of his axis. He was going to need more than a swift kick in the pants, and that's where Stan came in, because he was the only one that could keep his business afloat.

"Do it," I nodded. "He might not be going to work for a while."

We talked a bit more and then I dragged father to my car. I drove him back to his flat. The doorman saw me and immediately came to tell me he had to go and lockup the flat himself because father had left the door open, and stumbled out hugging a bottle of whisky. It seemed like I was fated to meet every doorman in my father's life – it was kind of humiliating. We got him inside, and I dropped him on the bed, taking off his suit and jacket. Then the doorman left us alone.

I decided to do a scout of the place and see if he had anything other than alcohol in there. It turned out he didn't. I sighed – realizing if any of Axel's children should take responsibility for him, it should be me. _Honor thy father and mother…_ Well alright.

I found his cell phone on the kitchen floor, with several unanswered calls and messages from Felicia, and two from his secretary. Our suspicions were right, he hadn't been in his office at all today.

I went out to the nearest 24hour market and did some quick grocery shopping for Dad. Mostly microwavable meals since I knew Dad couldn't boil an egg. Mom had put together the last of his clothes while she waited for me to come and pick him up so I grabbed those from my trunk as well and shoved them in the closet. Then I left him a note, to eat, shower, and call me in the morning.

Then I had to call Felicia. I knew I promised Sookie I wouldn't get involved with them anymore. But she was the mother to my half-sister, who was a tiny and lovely girl who loved my father. I told her what had happened over the weekend and she was mostly stunned into silence. I told her where father was and that she should come and see him, but to not bring Jessica until he was doing better.

I figured, at this point, if anyone would want my father, it would be Felicia.

After that I called Pam and told her what happened. Pam decided to go and see Mom, but she wanted to know nothing about our father. I left her to it, I couldn't blame her.

I drove back home and it was past 1am when I made it inside. I sighed and removed my jacket, dropping it on the couch. I knew Sookie would be asleep so I went straight to the nursery, but when I got there, I realized my pillow and bed sheets were missing and the mattress had been deflated. There was a note on the dresser that said "_Please come to bed. It's too big and cold here without you._"

Sookie moved to support herself on her elbows as soon as I walked in and I smiled nervously at her. Her smile was warm as she pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Hey, baby. How did it go?" she reached out a hand to me and I strode to her and took it, running my thumb over her palm.

"Well, it wasn't pretty," I said, sitting down on the corner of the mattress while facing her. "He's not in a good place. I don't recognize him anymore."

Sookie's brow furrowed as she looked down at our hands and squeezed mine. "I'm sorry…it's going to take time for… well… whatever the hell is happening to… run its course," she shrugged helplessly.

"I know."

"Hey, look," she rubbed my hand between hers. "He's your father. He has to have some redeeming qualities left because he made you and Pam and Helen married him. He just… lost his way. You don't have to leave him behind. I know it's going to be hard, but, you have my full support."

I smiled, loving to hear those words from her. I was afraid her hurt was too deep for her to forgive my father. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, lingering there to inhale the scent of her shampoo.

"Thank you," I said touching my forehead to hers and smiling. "You're incredible."

"I know!" she teased, caressing my cheek and neck. "You're a really lucky man."

I grinned and I couldn't resist it, I kissed her. It was light and harmless, but Sookie surprised me by deepening it and grabbing my hair and pulling me closer. I gladly went with it, kissing her long and deep, until she started pulling at the buttons on my shirt. I stopped, gazing at her through foggy eyes. She smiled at me and I felt her nails scraping down my chest softly.

"Sookie…" I raised an eyebrow in warning. There was only so much self control I could muster.

"Don't you _Sookie_ me!" she teased me with a frown before nipping at my lower lip. "Take off your pants, Mr. Northman."

My eyebrows went up questioningly, I wouldn't dare move until I was sure she meant business. She rolled her eyes at me and grabbed my arms, pushing me over her legs, or trying to. I finally understood what she wanted, so I kicked off my shoes and moved over her to my side of the bed and rolled on my back. Sookie followed, coming to straddle me a bit too carefully, biting her lip nervously.

"You're not going to hurt me, Sookie," I smiled at her. "I'm still heavier than you."

She blushed and swatted at my chest. "_Mean_!"

I chuckled and grabbed her hips to steady her. She smiled at me and gazed down my chest and stomach before she leaned over to tug at my shirt. I sat up to help her as she pushed my shirt down my arms and took advantage of our position to steal another kiss. She smiled against my mouth and ran her tongue over my lips before she pulled away to toss my shirt behind her with a flourish. We grinned at each other.

Sookie palmed her way up and down my arms, a heated look in her eyes. She trailed a path across my collarbone with her fingers – her touch was light and had the power to set my skin into flames. I cradled her head in one hand and pulled her down for another kiss, demanding immediate entrance and groaning as she complied – her hands running a wicked path down between us, culminating with a move that had me pulling away and giving her another warning look. She just smiled at me and aptly worked the button of my pants with one hand. It was all the encouraging I needed and before I knew it my hands were working to get Sookie out of her nightgown. I pulled it over her head, she lifted her arms to help and then I tossed it to the side, eyes and hands going into immediate reacquaintance with her breasts.

To watch her arch her back like that, and throw her head back, exposing that exquisite neck of hers did things to me, things I could only do in my fantasies when we were apart. One arm wound around her back to bring her closer so I could fasten my lips to the base of her neck. Her soft moans and gasps bringing sweet memories of what being with her was like. I wanted her so much – I would always want her.

"Oh, Eric, yes, like that…" Sookie whispered as I suckled and nipped at her neck, one of her hands delving into my hair and tugging, the other slipping down between us to stroke me. I hissed, pulling away to look at her – she was watching me with hooded eyes and parted lips. "Kiss me."

I did, with everything I had, my hand fisting into her hair, my arm pulling her as close as I could. I stilled her hand before she drove me too far, which given how long we hadn't been together could happen embarrassingly soon. She looked at me questioningly.

"I want to come inside you," I said in what I'm sure must have been a hoarse voice.

Sookie smiled, and nodded, leaning over to kiss me briefly. She moved away momentarily so I could get out of my pants and underpants. She shimmied out of her panties and we resumed positions quickly. I lay on my back, watching her position herself over me. I meant what I had said before – pregnant Sookie was the loveliest thing I'd ever seen. To see her growing bump, knowing it was my son in there – it just made me feel like more than ever, Sookie was mine – well… ours, I smiled as I thought of our little guy. I ran my hands over the sides of her tummy and we gazed knowingly into each other's eyes.

I watched as Sookie bit her lip and looked at me nervously one more time, and I grabbed at her hips to help her. She smiled and I watched as she slowly descended upon me, inch by inch, velvet and heat engulfed me and I closed my eyes momentarily as we both adjusted to the feel of it. I grabbed at her hips harder and bucked in response. Sookie gasped and leaned forward, her hair falling around her face like a golden curtain. My eyes were open again and I was staring at her in awe. We smiled at each other, and slowly started to move.

Sookie was in control, I was happy to surrender it to her – she had to feel in control of this, I knew she was nervous about it. But she was less and less shy and her movements increased and became less tentative. Her moans became louder and so did mine. I watched her the whole time, my teeth clenched – she was beautiful and perfect and her gasps were lovely. The way she tilted her head this way and that way, and closed her eyes and bit her lip as she tried different things – it was just riveting – and I was lucky that I got to be there with her.

"Eric…" she gasped a bit desperately and I could feel her fingers curling into my skin – she was close. "Oh, Eric…" she threw her head back one last time and swerved a certain way – she gasped and arched her back.

To watch her fall was always one of my favorite things, and as I gripped her hips a certain way and thrust upwards a last time I followed her down that abyss. I was seeing black spots everywhere and I didn't even care. I could feel Sookie steadying herself over me, her breathing was loud and I re-opened my eyes to see she was watching me with a blissful smile on her lips. My own breathing was erratic and I didn't think I had quite the energy to move but I sat up and pulled her into an embrace, kissing her lips softly.

"Sookie," I breathed against her lips. "I love you so fucking much…"

Sookie laughed at my choice of words and cradled my face in her hands before she kissed my eyes and lips. "I love you more."

I grinned and nipped at her lip. "Not likely."

"I said it first so it's true!" she teased back.

I carefully rolled her over on her back and kissed her forehead while I hovered over her. I rested my hand on her tummy and kissed it as well.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked as I pulled the covers over her.

Sookie grinned. "No, you already gave me my orgasm. Thank you."

I kissed her lips. "Anytime, sweetheart."

That was the best I'd slept that whole year.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

I woke up in the morning feeling all kinds of good – my back wasn't even bothering me. I felt suddenly optimistic. Rolling over to see Eric asleep beside me felt right. I traced the contours of his face and watched him while I waited for him to wake up too. I loved his face and how peaceful he looked when he was asleep. I loved watching him sleep, I always had.

"You're staring at me, Sookie," Eric knew that also, and his groggy voice was cute.

"Yes, I am," I grinned, waiting for him to open his eyes. "Good morning."

"Morning," he sighed blinking his eyes open.

"Finally, I was getting bored here!" I teased him and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"It's called sleeping, Sookie, it's supposed to be uneventful," Eric breathed as he scooted closer and wrapped an arm around me. "You should try it, it's too damn early." He closed his eyes again.

"No, it's not," I told him regretfully. "It's past 9."

Eric's eyes snapped open. "Oh shit."

"I know," I smiled sympathetically. "You have to go."

Eric started moving and then suddenly stopped, rolling back to look at me, there was a frown on his face.

"What?" I couldn't help but feel sudden concern.

He lay back down next to me and grasped my hand leading it to his lips.

"I promised you I would never lie or hide anything from you again, but I forgot about this last night, so here it goes now…"

"What?" I asked fearfully.

"Last night, after I took care of my father, I got his phone and saw Felicia had been trying to contact him. So I called her to tell her where he was and what had been happening. I did this for Jessica – she's his daughter too and none of this is her fault. I'm _not_ interfering with them anymore, it's up to him and Felicia to work things out however they want. I just did it this one time because my father is in no condition to act like he should." His eyes swept over me with concern. "Please understand why I did this. I'm not going to meddle again, I promise."

I mulled that over in my head while Eric stared at me expectantly. I hadn't given the child much thought – of course none of it was her fault, and she was being hurt by Axel's stupidity. Poor kid. I couldn't fault Eric for thinking of his half-sister, my own insecurities aside, he was right to think of her.

"I understand," I told him. "Thank you for telling me."

Eric sighed with relief and kissed me again, this time lingering a little. I smiled as I felt his despair in the way he kissed me, and I wish we had time for more. He pulled away, his eyes full of wanting and love – he traced a finger down my nose and smiled.

"You have a good day, Sookie."

"You too."

I still lingered in bed a while, until my bladder finally propelled me up and away. I showered and made toast for breakfast. I ate while I read the paper, and I was just washing my dish when I heard Lafayette coming in.

"Knock knock, mama!" he waltzed into the kitchen.

"Hey, Laf!" I smiled as I put the dried dish away.

"So, Alejandro and I are going to have lunch in the city today. You wanna come with?"

"As fun as it is to be your pregnant third-wheel, I'll say no. I woke up a bit late so I have catching up to do with work stuff."

Lafayette watched me with narrowed eyes. "Mama you had sex!"

I glared at him. "How the hell do you do that, Lafayette?"

"It's you!" he said, gesturing at me with a flourish. "You is all relaxed and happy and even your hair looks nicer." He winked. "Atta girl."

I blushed. "That's… stop that!"

"The embargo is over!" Lafayette clapped once happily. "You'll feel much better from now on, mama."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" I rolled my eyes. "So how's Tara?"

"She's going to look at another apartment today," Lafayette said as we walked into the living room. "I just wish she'd stay with us a little bit longer. At least until the baby can walk or something, but there's no talking her into it."

"Well she's really intent on doing this parenting thing by herself," I said as we sat on the couch.

"Yeah, so was you until Eric-boy came home," he reminded me.

"Yeah, I don't think that would work for her," I shrugged. "It doesn't sound like the baby daddy is someone she… well… loves."

"I know… I just wanted her to feel like she can count on us, ya feel me? Tara is stubborn as a mule."

Lafayette hung out a little while I sent some e-mails, then he left. I got most of my work done by 2pm, and that was when the phone rang.

It was Steve's Sarah, wanting to discuss Saturday afternoon. She sounded like a chirpy little thing and she was very considerate, wanting to know what kinds of things I couldn't eat and stuff. We made our plans and said our goodbyes. I was actually looking forward to meeting her now. Steve had always been kind of lonely – not that he didn't have his fair share of dates – I'd met quite a few of his girlfriends, but they never looked like they were right for him. If he was willing to take this one to the altar, then something _had_ to be especial about her.

I called Claudine for our daily Skype Conference and then after that I was pretty much done for the day. So, I called Tara for some girl time.

"What was the apartment like?" I asked her as we sipped our lemonade in the kitchen and ate the rest of my raisin cookies.

"It was pretty good. But so were the last three I visited," Tara shrugged. "I'm more worried about location."

"Like, because of work and stuff?"

"Yeah. But it's not like I can even think about that, because who's gonna hire a pregnant single mom when she's almost carrying out her term?" she snorted. "I just have to find somewhere that looks close enough to everything."

Tara worked in Marketing, and she had a pretty good job in California, so she had excellent references, but she decided to wait until she had the baby to find work again. She hoped her savings would be enough until she was ready.

"Well, try something in this area then," I said honestly. "Trust me."

"Yeah, that's what Lafayette said, but I haven't found anything around here yet."

The phone rang then and I checked the wall clock, it was 4pm, so I had no idea who could be ringing. I excused myself and waddled as quickly as I could into the living room.

"Hello?"

"_Sookie?_" It was Axel.

"Axel… hi."

"_Is Eric in there?_" his voice gave him away perfectly, he was still shit faced… or shit faced again, I couldn't tell.

"No, he is not. He's at the hospital now. But I'll let him know you need him OK? Are you home?"

I got dial tone as a reply. Tara walked into the living room, slipping into her sweater.

"I think I'm going home, I feel a nap coming." She looked at me as I put the phone down. "What's wrong?"

"My father-in-law just hung up on me!" I sighed. "And he was hammered."

Tara shook her head. "I would not want to be in Eric's shoes right now. Managing crazy parents can be too much. Believe me, I know…" she said as she pulled her hair from inside the sweater. "Thanks for the lemonade, Sook."

"Yeah, thanks for keeping me company," I smiled as I walked her to the door. "Bye."

I tried calling Eric but he wasn't answering, so he was probably busy with patients. I thought about calling Pam or Helen, but I didn't think either of them would be interested in checking on Axel. So I grabbed my keys, hoped I remembered the address right, and left.

xxxxxxx


	14. Chapter 14

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

I tried getting a hold of Eric a couple times on the way over, but all I ever got was voice mail. I didn't know why I had the impulse to go and see what was up with Axel. He was definitely not on my list of people I wanted to deal with right now – but somehow, it felt wrong to _not_ do something when my instincts told me I should. I'm sure if I did get a hold of Eric and told him I was driving to see his father, he would be against it, but I did not let that stop me.

I found the apartment building pretty easily. It was indeed close to Northman Corp – but, surprisingly, it was not one of the buildings Axel owned. He probably purchased it before he decided to get into Real Estate. I parked as close as I could and got out, heading towards the entrance. The doorman bowed his head politely and pulled the door open for me.

"What apartment, Miss?"

"I'm not sure. I'm looking for Axel Northman? I'm his daughter in law; I came by to check on him."

The doorman looked immediately curious at the mention of Axel and gave me an evaluating look, as if to ascertain himself that I was who I claimed to be.

"Ah, right. Was it your husband I met last night then?"

I nodded. "Eric, tall, blonde guy. Yes he's my husband."

"Alright, I'll just need some form of I.D."

I retrieved my driver's license from my purse and once he saw the picture and last name he gestured towards the elevator. "Eleventh floor, 1102A."

"Thank you."

As I watched the numbers light up as I ascended on the elevator I started growing a bit nervous. I wasn't sure I knew how to handle a possibly drunk, depressed, maybe angry Axel. The Axel I had met was very kind, gentlemanly and, at times, even fatherly. But that was definitely not what Eric had described last night. As the elevator doors sprung open I braced myself, took a deep breath and stepped out. I walked up to his door and rung the bell, proceeding to fidget and bit my lip while I waited.

Nothing. I could hear no sounds inside at all. Frowning I rung the bell again and waited another minute or two. When I still couldn't hear anything, I stuck my ear to the door and held my breath. I frowned. If Axel had left, the doorman would have known and wouldn't have let me up…

"Axel?" I knocked on the door instead. "Axel, are you in there?" I knocked again.

I started to get really worried and then remembered to simply try the door. I often left my own apartment door unlocked because it was very unlikely we'd be walked in on by anyone since we had a decent reception and security. As the door simply opened for me I sighed and rolled my eyes – I should have tried that earlier.

"Axel, it's me, Sookie!" I called out as I stepped inside.

The living room was surprisingly simple and small, and it was strange how, even here, I could see Helen's little touches everywhere. She had obviously decorated this place for him. It was clear it was a place for emergencies, maybe guests - I knew that, as much as Axel flew out to other States all the time, he'd bring in clients and partners just as often.

"Axel?" I called again having gotten no answer.

The lights in the living room were on, I looked to the right, and there was an open door that seemed to lead to a kitchen. I stepped over there and peaked inside. Sunlight was coming in through the windows. He wasn't there either.

I headed into the corridor that led to the bedrooms and went straight into the open door at the end of the corridor. That was when I understood why I had had the impulse to get there after he called.

Axel was lying on his back in the middle of the bedroom floor, clutching a bottle of whisky on one hand and his cell phone on the other. He looked pale, and completely unmoving. I stood under the doorway for five seconds as I assessed the scene before me, then my legs propelled me forward and before I knew it I was on my knees, hovering over my father-in-law, calling out to him and searching for a pulse.

I called to him, and shook him, and it made me shudder to realize how cold his skin felt.

"Axel! Mr. Northman," I shook him. "Please wake up!" I begged nervously. "Please, _please_, don't do this to me! Wake up!" I yelled at him.

"Hello!?" I heard an unfamiliar male voice shouting from somewhere inside the apartment. "Axel!?"

I looked up at the doorway, but whoever it was; he must have been in the living room.

"Over here!" I yelled. "Help!"

I heard hurried steps coming closer and closer and I kept my hands on Axel's shoulders, continuously trying to shake him awake.

Finally, a looming figure entered the room. He was tall, tanned, with curly brown hair and a neat chinstrap beard. He had green eyes and looked to be about Eric's age. As soon as I saw him I had the strange feeling I _knew_ him, even though I'd never _met_ him. He looked at Axel and me and his expression went from curious to utter surprise.

"What happened?" he asked, dropping the briefcase he was carrying by the door and stepping inside.

"I don't know! I don't think he's breathing!"

The man fell to his knees across from me and leaned over Axel, searching his pulse. I sat back, to give him room as he started administering CPR. I watched in growing panic as he didn't seem to be getting any results.

"Is he dead?" I asked in a choke.

"Call an ambulance!" the man urged me and turned his attention back to Axel.

I fumbled with my purse and grabbed my phone to dial 911. I stood up and paced while I talked into the phone. My own heart was beating fast inside my chest and my palms were suddenly sweating as I watched the man relentlessly try to resuscitate my father-in-law. I fell to my knees again.

"They're coming," I whispered. "Please hold on, Axel!" I pleaded with him.

For the fifteen minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive, he tried several things, Axel never moved, his sickly pallor never improved, nor did his breathing or pulse. Finally the doorman appeared with the paramedics behind him. I watched in horror as the paramedics leaned over my father-in-law to examine him and then proceeded to put him on a stretcher and carry him out of the apartment.

When we all came to the ambulance waiting downstairs, the man touched my arm gently.

"You shouldn't ride in there in your condition. Let me drive you to the hospital." He looked me up and down. "Do you have a car?"

I stared at the man completely at a loss of words – we went through all of this together, and I didn't even know who he was.

"I'm sorry…" I blinked. "Who are you?"

The man smiled gently. "I'm Stan Baker. I work with Axel."

"Oh!" It finally registered why I thought I knew him. I'd seen pictures of him before. He was the Northman Corp Vice President. "Oh, my God. Uhm, of course," I said as I watched the doors to the ambulance closing. "Excuse me, where are you taking him?"

"Brigant," the paramedic driver said before walking around the ambulance.

"Are you Felicia?" Stan asked me with narrowed eyes when I turned back to him.

My mouth hung open. "No… no I'm his daughter-in-law, Sookie."

"Ah!" Stan laughed nervously. "I apologize; I just thought…" he looked at my belly. "Of course you're Sookie, I knew you would be pregnant, I'm sorry. I just assumed…"

I reached into my purse for my car keys and handed them to him, nodding at my car just behind him. "Let's go."

I was grateful Stan offered to drive as I couldn't think to concentrate on driving. I tried calling Eric again, but still got nothing. I knew I would have to call Pam and Helen now, but when I mentioned it, Stan said he would do it.

We were driving close behind the ambulance, so I could even see them, carrying him out and transferring him to a wheeled cot when we stopped in front of the hospital.

"Isn't this where Eric works?" Stan asked as we made it to the reception.

"Yes and he's in here somewhere," I said looking around, as if expecting Eric to appear out of thin air.

Axel was taken to the Emergency Department, which was, of course, Eric's department. He was going to find out sooner now than if I kept trying to call him. I hoped whoever told him the news was gentle. We walked into the waiting area outside E.D. and I sat down while Stan stepped away to call Helen and then Pam. I was suddenly very grateful he was here to handle all that.

I decided that I needed some sort of backup though and decided to give Claudine a call.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2010**

It had been just over a month since I lost my baby and I was still struggling to convince people I wasn't going crazy. Smiling took quite an effort, and doing every day things, at first, was almost torture. I just wanted to crawl into bed and be alone in my misery. That was the only thing I ever felt like doing. After Helen came to see me, I tried harder. I had to. If only to keep people from worrying about me.

I had a harder time with Eric. Of all people, he was the one who wouldn't leave me alone, who wouldn't believe my acting, who'd be hovering incessantly, expecting me to break down so he could scoop me up. It made me angry that he was there – because there was nothing to save. We'd lost our baby – the baby was the one that needed saving – not me. I was just unhappy, heartbroken, and I didn't think anything or anyone was ever going to fix that. Maybe I didn't want it to be fixed… what right did I have to be OK when I couldn't protect my baby?

So when I started feeling too overwhelmed again, I packed light and decided to go visit Gran for the weekend. Eric didn't argue about it, nor did he offer to come with me. I didn't ask him either. In a way, I was going to be away from him and I think he knew that.

He had been working on some presentations for residents and interns at the Children's Hospital and it'd kept him busy enough for the last couple of months. Whenever Eric was not in the field he was teaching – it was usually how he made money to compensate for the time he volunteered. He crammed in as much work as he could so he could take those few months to help the underprivileged.

Gran was happy to see me and did her best not to hover. She knew me well, and unlike Eric, she knew it was best not to poke me when I wanted to be left alone. We hung out in her kitchen – I helped her bake cookies for the children at church while she told me all about Maxine Fortenberry's son Hoyt getting hitched with my high school friend Maudette. Then she told me about Jason and Amy coming to see her the weekend after and that she hoped Jason would just propose to the girl already.

I drove her to do some grocery shopping and then we stopped for coffee and a muffin on the way out. I was just checking my phone – there was a text from Eric saying he had worked all day and hadn't had time to call – when I saw Gran suddenly waving frantically at someone behind me. I quickly typed back a message to him letting him know what I'd been up to and wishing him a good weekend.

"Adele, I didn't know you would be here today!" Maxine Fortenberry was suddenly standing next to our table, her arm full of plastic bags. "And Sookie! Hello dear, how long has it been?"

"Hey, Maxine," I smiled politely, putting my phone away.

"Oh, you do remember Maudette, don't you?" Maxine said excitedly as she waved someone over.

I turned on my chair to see an older Maudette Pickens sauntering over to us, a single plastic bag in her hand, and a smile on her face. She looked prettier than I remembered; she had been sort of trashy-looking in high school. I smiled at her, and then my eyes travelled down to register the visible, bulging baby bump she was sporting – and the smile died on my face – I felt suddenly drained of my energy and looked away quickly.

"Sookie Stackhouse!" I heard as Maudette finally reached us, forcing me to look at her. "It's been ages!"

I forced myself to stand up and smiled mechanically as we leaned over and kissed each other's cheeks.

"It certainly has. Congratulations," I felt obliged to say as I looked at her bump. "When are you due?"

"April!" Maudette said proudly, caressing her bump.

I could see Gran's eyes boring into my head but I didn't dare looking at her – she knew me too well.

"Well that is wonderful dear. Maxine didn't mention you were pregnant," Gran said almost accusingly.

"Well, it wasn't my news to tell!" Maxine said defensively.

"It was great seeing you both," I said nervously as I reached for my purse. "But we should probably go. Gran?"

"Oh yes, we have lots to do at home!" Gran said promptly standing as I put money on the table and waved at the waiter. "I'll call you later, Maxine."

"Oh, of course!"

"Bye, it was great seeing you again, Sookie!" Maudette said as we were already walking away.

I felt horrible. For everything. For leaving both of them so rudely. For embarrassing Gran like that. For feeling such instant dislike for Maudette just because she had what I couldn't have. What I probably would never have.

"Sookie, dear," Gran touched my arm gently.

I looked over at her and she smiled at me encouragingly. I inhaled, realizing I had been holding my breath for some reason. I looked ahead and noticed my knuckles were white from how hard I was gripping the steering wheel. I slowly relaxed my hands and evened out my breathing, focusing on the road.

"It will happen again, Sookie," Gran said, as if she had read my mind. "Don't give up."

I shook my head, my eyes watering against my will – I kept them on the road. "I don't want to do this anymore." I said after a pause. "Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mother."

"You're sad, and you're mourning," Gran continued gently. "You'll change your mind."

I didn't answer to that. Because I didn't want to fight with Gran. I was absolutely sure I wouldn't change my mind. I couldn't go through this again. The decision was made – and I was going to discuss this with Eric as soon as possible.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2012**

I had one hell of a morning. The afternoon didn't get much better. We were understaffed and I was going to have to speak to Steve about that. I re-assigned a few people to the clinic and spent most of my day with the trauma team. I'd managed to eat a sandwich for lunch before going back for more. It had been too long I had been part of a staff in an American hospital, but it was amazing how out of control things get no matter how well equipped you are. I had a couple of déjà vu moments that reminded me of some situations I'd thought I'd only encounter in far-away places where medical care wasn't a given, but charity.

It was just past 5pm when I stopped at the nurse's station, after having checked on a trauma patient. I was just writing down the new prescriptions, while Crystal talked at me about a different patient who had had her arm chopped off. I was trying to do two things at once, writing the prescriptions, and telling Crystal what to do. We were both talking over each other while nurse Martha watched us with an arched eyebrow and shook her head.

Suddenly, I felt eyes on me and I could tell, from my peripheral vision, it was Steve. I continued talking to Crystal and then Martha while I handed her the sheet of paper.

"So, I call Dr. Rootz when they bring in the arm?" Crystal asked for the hundredth time.

"Yes. He's the only one on this floor who can administer the anesthetic at this point. Please stop Judy from giving morphine to the patient on 108, that was a complete mistake," Crystal nodded and wrote it down. "And also…" I stopped, annoyed, and turned around to face Steve, who was still watching me like a psycho. "_What _the hell is wrong with you? Are you in love with me or something? I don't shit where I eat, I told you that!"

Crystal and Martha stifled their laughs while Steve just smiled nervously at me. I frowned – noticing the strained look on his face.

"Steve?"

"Can we talk for a minute, buddy?" Steve cocked his head to indicate the corner by the water cooler.

We walked over to the empty corner and now he had my full attention. He was fidgety and couldn't quite look me in the eye.

"Steve just spill…" my thoughts went to Sookie immediately. She was fine when I left her in the morning.

"Uh…" Steve forced himself to look me in the eye. "It's your father, Eric. He was just brought in about half an hour ago. He had an acute myocardial infarction. He was unconscious when he was found and Niall is trying to assess the severity of the damage."

"He's alive?" I breathed.

"We're hoping he'll pull through," Steve nodded carefully. "He'll most likely need open heart surgery."

"Fuck…" I ran my hand through my hair and leaned against the wall. "Who found him?"

"Sookie did," Steve held up his hands to stop me and I pushed away from the wall. "She called the ambulance; there was someone else with her. They're in the waiting room. I told her I'd find you."

"Is she OK?"

"She's just worried," Steve sighed. "Go to her while I talk to Niall and see what he has to say."

"I want to see him…"

"No way, Northman," Steve said firmly. "Not this time. You're going to let _us_ take care of him. You're the loved one in this instance and I'm not letting you get involved. House Rules." He smiled comfortingly now. "Just… go see your wife, she's worried about you. I'll come talk to you as soon as I get an update."

I nodded reluctantly and made my way across to the waiting room. It was even busier than earlier and it took me a while to spot Sookie. In fact, I spotted Stan Baker first. He was standing in the back speaking into his cell phone, with a hand in his pocket. Sookie was sitting next to him, looking pale and worried, looking from side to side, and clutching her purse to her chest.

I walked over to them and Sookie spotted me as I got closer. She stood up, searching my eyes as I approached. I figured she wanted to know if I already knew, so I just nodded. She threw her arms around me and I buried my face into her hair as I pulled her against me. She was trembling.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I pulled away to cup her face between my hands. "Look at you, you're shaking…"

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "Is he alright Eric? Was it a heart attack?"

"Yes it was and… we're waiting. How did you find him? Where was he…?"

"His apartment," she interrupted me nervously. "He called home looking for you. I thought he sounded… well… drunk, so I tried calling you. But anyways, I ended up going over there to see him and that's when I found him."

Stan had hung up by then and he approached me a sympathetic look on his face. "Eric…I'm really sorry about your father. Any news?" he clapped my shoulder by way of a greeting.

"We should be hearing about him soon," I said still holding Sookie to me.

"I called Helen," he sighed, looking from me to Sookie. "She said she and Pam are coming."

"Good. Thank you, Stan."

"I also called Felicia…" he added looking to me now. "I hope that's OK."

A hundred reasons why that wasn't a good idea came to mind but at that point all I could come up with was: "It's fine."

Stan's phone rang and he excused himself, walking away from us. I looked down at Sookie and she was watching me with concern. I held her tighter and she lay her head on my chest. I tried not to think about a worst case scenario. We didn't need a fucking funeral after everything we all have been through.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV – 2010**

I looked up from the pile of tests surrounding me at the dinner table as Sookie walked from the hallway into the kitchen – wearing her pajama pants and blue bathrobe. I sighed and tried to focus back on my task. She had driven back from Bon Temps just six hours ago and we had barely spoken. I asked her if she enjoyed herself and she'd just mumbled something about cookies and knitting.

I'd hoped a weekend with Adele would cheer her up. But apparently, she got back even worse. Sookie had had some improvement after my mother talked to her, but sometimes she would still just plunge into depressive states and it was tough to watch her like that. Something had happened in Bon Temps that had made it worse and I cursed myself for not having been there with her to maybe prevent whatever it was that upset her.

It just had seemed a better idea at the time – to let her have some girl time with Gran. I knew she was often irritated when I hovered – and I was out of ideas on how not to step on her toes while trying to be caring at the same time.

I was distracted from my tests again as Sookie started walking back from the kitchen, stirring a spoon into a cup with some steaming liquid inside.

"Coffee at this hour?" I teased.

"I'll be fine," she shrugged and walked over to the table to see what I was doing. "How much longer until you finish?"

"Uhm…" I looked at my pile. "Labor day, maybe."

Sookie chuckled and reached over to kiss my temple, leaning over to look at the papers on the table. I wound an arm around her waist, keeping her close to me as I corrected a couple more tests. Sookie ran her fingers through my hair and watched quietly, sipping her coffee.

Her caresses became something else and soon she was nibbling my ear – the coffee cup was gone and she was pushing me back against the chair to sit on my lap.

"Well, hello!" I dropped my pen to hold her to me.

"Let's just go to bed," she told me as she tugged on my earlobe with her teeth. "Grade those tests tomorrow."

I reluctantly peeled her hands from the waistband of my sleep pants and grabbed her shoulders to pull her away gently. "Sookie, what's up?"

As much as I loved horny-Sookie, this didn't feel right. Sookie never wanted sex while wearing pajama pants – pajama pants meant she had a bad day and was feeling moody. Besides, even though her waiting period was over and it was safe for her to have sex now, she hadn't wanted it before tonight and it looked awfully suspicious with how especially grumpy she had been since she got back from Adele's.

"What do you mean what's up?" she rolled her eyes playfully as she scrambled to her feet and pulled at my hands. "I want me some Eric."

"Flattered," I sighed but remained seated. "You've been grumpy all night, now you want to have sex? Why don't you just tell me what's gotten you so upset?"

Sookie let go of my hands and put her hands on her hips. "You could have just pulled the headache card. Good night." She grabbed her abandoned coffee to leave.

I rolled my eyes as she walked away – I gave her two minutes before I got up and followed her into our bedroom. Sookie was standing by the French windows, with the curtains drawn open – and she sipped her coffee as she stared out the city skyline.

She heard me coming in and looked over her shoulder – she looked suddenly embarrassed and looked away, hiding her face in her coffee cup.

"Sookie," I came behind her running my hands over her arms.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I've been a total bitch, I know."

I kissed her shoulder over the terrycloth. "I've just been worried about you, is all. I don't want to hurt you, Sookie. I don't know what to do anymore." I confessed as I leaned my forehead on the top of her head, inhaling her shampoo. I didn't – this broken version of Sookie was scaring me, and I didn't quite know how to handle her. She had been distant the past month and sometimes I felt almost unwanted – which was I had had taken to going to the gym so often.

Sookie turned around, holding on to the waistband of my drawstring pants as she stared at me, her eyes dark and cloudy, drawing me in like a siren-song. I kissed her, my hands travelling up to fist into her hair and hold her closer to me. She quickly held tighter to me and kissed me back with a painful determination. I felt her little hands fisting at the hem of my t-shirt and I helped her pull it over my head. I quickly pushed the bathrobe off her shoulders and drew in a sharp breath at the sight of her nipples straining against her pink tank top. My concerns were quickly flying off my head as Sookie kept making a solid argument in favor of wild sex by sneaking a hand into my pants.

I hissed and staggered forward, shooting out an arm to grab the window frame for support. Sookie stood on her toes and licked at the cleft on my chin and bit my lower lip. I tugged at her hair to tip her head so I could kiss her instead – her hand doing terrible things to my self control.

"I disagree, Eric," Sookie said breathlessly as she pulled away for air and I sneaked my own hand into her pants. "I think you know just what to do."

I smiled as she threw her head back when I found her clit. She was hot and wet and ready. She moaned and leaned the back of her head against the cool window. I leaned down to nuzzle and lick at her neck. Sookie threw an arm around my neck and pulled me tighter against her.

"Mmm… Eric," she breathed and I could feel she was close. "You're so perfect." She pulled her hand away and I groaned in a protest. "Eric…" she stopped as she gasped and bucked against my hand. "Oh, fuck, shit!" she gritted and her fingernails dug little half moons onto my shoulders.

I chuckled into her neck as I continued stroking her. "Not quite the words I was hoping for, sweetheart."

I picked her up, squeezing her ass in the process and earning myself a playful swat and a bite on my ear. I walked the three steps necessary and dumped her on the bed unceremoniously. Sookie giggled and lay back, licking her lips as she watched me standing there, her foot trailing a path down my chest.

"Now come down here so I can take care of you!" she waggled her eyebrows.

I grinned and shoved her foot down so I could climb over her. She pulled me to her and kissed me while I tugged at her pants.

"Hey," she pulled away and I kissed her jaw instead. "Do you think we still have condoms?"

I stopped – my brain suddenly kicking into emergency mode. "What?" I blurted out after a second.

Sookie looked suddenly apprehensive and she bit her lip nervously. She reached over to caress my shoulders, this time, more as a soothing mechanism. "It's just…" she began carefully. "I'm not back on the pills yet, I didn't even think to… and well…"

I sighed before I could stop myself. I didn't want my disappointment to show so clearly. Too late. Sookie's eyes were suddenly tearful and she looked everywhere but at me as she tried to explain. "I… I don't think we…"

I sat up slowly, watching her. Sookie pushed herself into a sitting position as well and crossed her legs Indian-style in the middle of the bed. She looked at me and I guess what I felt must have been stamped across my face because she looked sad, regretful, but she still said the words I was dreading since January 1st.

"I don't think we should have children." She sighed. "I can't go through that again. I'm done."

Well, what do you say to that? I honestly didn't know. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Even as Sookie watched me nervously, wringing her hands and biting her lip – I knew it was her final word regardless of what I felt. So what should it matter that I wanted to protest with all I was worth?

So I didn't say what I wanted to say. When she started to cry I pulled her to me and comforted her – told her it was going to be OK – because that was all I had been doing lately. But it was clear to me now that it was not going to be OK.

The week after that I called Russell and asked him if he was still looking for volunteers for his team down in Haiti. He was more than eager to take me and whoever else wanted to come. I packed my things and left three days later.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

I don't know how long we waited. I had to go to the bathroom a couple times and watched Eric pace and Stan make a dozen phone calls. But then Steve walked up to us, with a taller man behind him.

"Steve. Niall," Eric nodded at them when they reached us.

I stood to stand next to Eric and I could feel Stan standing not far from me. Steve smiled comfortingly at me and Niall Brigant nodded politely before addressing Eric.

"It was serious. He was unconscious for quite some time but he's stable now."

"So, he's awake," Eric deduced.

"He's sedated, but we did bring him back," Niall explained. "He's going to need the open heart surgery."

"You're doing a bypass," Eric nodded, I could see his eyes getting that distant look it got when he was thinking through several possibilities. "May I see him?"

"Of course," Niall looked at Steve. "Will you accompany him? I have some prep to do."

"Sure." Steve patted Eric's shoulder and looked at me. "Do you want to come Sookie?"

"No, it's OK," I smiled. "I'll give you boys some time. I'll wait around for Helen and Pam."

Eric kissed my forehead and followed Steve across the waiting room. I sighed, feeling bad for him, for Helen, for Pam, and for Axel. Things just kept getting worse for our family.

"Well he should be OK," Stan said encouragingly. "Axel is a strong son of a gun. If he made it this far, he's staying."

I smiled at Stan and chuckled, hoping to God he was right.

Not fifteen minutes after that I could see Pam and Helen walking towards us. My heart ached to see Helen's eyes so red and puffy. Pam was putting on a brave front and acting mostly as if she was there to comfort her mother. I hugged Helen to me but let Stan answer all her questions. He was really gentle with her and I could tell they were probably very close. Pam didn't ask any questions, she just held her mother's hand and watched Stan as he recounted everything, including what the doctor had just said.

Eric came back later and Helen went to him immediately. He held her and stroked her back and he talked to her for maybe about a half-hour while Pam, Stan and I watched. Finally, the waiting room was going quieter and quieter. After making another visit to the bathroom I came back to find it almost empty.

Helen and Stan were talking by the window – she was wringing her hands and Stan seemed to be trying to calm her down. I saw Pam sitting alone, staring at her mother, but as if not quite seeing her. I walked over to her and sat down.

"Are you OK?" I asked gently.

Pam looked up at me. "I'm fine!" she looked at her mother. "I can't believe he's doing this to her."

"Come on, Pam. It's not like he had a heart attack on purpose." Pam huffed in response. "It's OK, you know?" I touched her arm gently. "It's OK to be sad, to be worried. Pam he is your Dad."

Pam sniffled and looked down momentarily. But she recuperated quickly and looked at me sharply. "I'm fine."

I nodded, not wanting to pressure her. I knew better than to try and tell Pam how to feel. Pam suddenly looked over my head and raised an eyebrow. I looked over my shoulder and saw Claudine clickety-clacking her way over. From her clothes I knew she had come straight from work. I stood up and welcomed her hug and her kiss.

"Are you alright?" she asked gently. "You've been here all this time?"

"Yes. I'm fine though. Thanks for coming, Claudine."

"Nonsense!" she smiled and then looked at Pam. "Pammy, sweetie." She hugged her before Pam could escape, and Pam glared at me over Claudine's shoulder. I shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "Where's Helen?"

"Over there," I nodded towards the windows across the room.

Claudine went over there and Helen hugged her gratefully. I watched them, happy it had been a good idea to call Claudine. Helen liked her.

Eric came back, bringing cups of coffee for his mother and sister and an iced tea for me. I smiled and kissed him when he sat next to me.

"Any news?" I asked him.

"He's in surgery," Eric sighed.

At that, Pam stood and went over to stand with Helen, Claudine and Stan. We watched them in silence while I sipped my tea.

"You should go home, you know?" Eric said as he squeezed my hand. "You must be exhausted." He caressed my belly. "Did you drive here alone?"

"Stan drove, but it's my car."

Eric nodded. "Do you think you can drive? Or I could drive you, but I think you should go home…"

"Not yet," I smiled squeezing his hand. "I want to be here for you guys."

"Sookie you…"

Eric stopped talking, his jaw went slack all of the sudden as he looked somewhere towards the elevators. I frowned and then turned to see what had caught his attention. I didn't quite have a reaction at first.

It was Felicia Foster. She had just walked out of the elevator, her daughter holding to her hand. She was looking straight at us and she hesitated for only a moment before she started walking. I watched her approach, still not quite registering it.

Then, the little girl, her daughter, suddenly gasped and smiled, letting go of her mother's hand to dash forward excitedly.

"Eric!" she yelped happily for the entire hospital to hear her. I saw as Helen, Pam, Claudine and Stan suddenly looked over, watching as the little girl launched herself into Eric, who had stood up at this point. She clung to his legs and beamed up at him. "Eric! You're here!"

xxxxxxx


	15. Chapter 15

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

It's a shame real life didn't come with the benefit of slow motion. Had there been such a thing, maybe there would have been more time to prepare, to process, to think. As it was, I blinked and several things happened simultaneously.

Eric, who looked as dumbstruck as I felt, stared down at Jessica for a moment before he finally reached down to lift her into his arms. I could see Pam striding towards us at the same time Felicia approached determinedly. Helen was holding onto Claudine's arm looking worried and Stan looked completely shocked.

"Mommy said we were going to see Daddy!" Jessica was telling Eric enthusiastically.

As Felicia stopped before Eric, her jaw set, her eyes puffy and angry, I quickly moved behind him to intercept Pam before she attacked Felicia in front of her child.

"Where is he?" Felicia asked in a strangled voice.

"Pam!" I grabbed her arm firmly, stopping her from getting any closer.

Pam looked on angrily as Eric tried to tell Felicia what was happening while Jessica, whom he put down on the floor again, grabbed onto his hand and tugged impatiently.

"Heart attack?" I heard Felicia choking a moment later. "How did it happen?"

"Daddy is sick?" Jessica asked to both adults with worry on her face.

Pam tried to shake her arm free and I just glared at her and started pulling her away.

"Godammit Sookie!" Pam hissed.

"I _know_." I kept dragging her back to where Claudine and Helen watched. "Don't make it worse."

"But I _want to!" _Pam snarled.

I sighed. "Just let Eric handle it."

"Who does she think she is?" Pam asked to no one in particular as we reached Helen and Claudine again.

"Oh that is hard to tell," Claudine said darkly as she watched the whole interaction from a far. "But bringing the child with her, it was smart."

"I want to go somewhere else," Helen said suddenly and she looked a bit nauseated as she ran her hand over her stomach.

"Maybe we should all go down to the cafeteria," I suggested.

"Helen, I'm so sorry," Stan said apologetically. "I told her not to come."

"Oh she's doing this on purpose then," Claudine pursed her lips.

"I'm gonna…" Pam started trying to get away from me again.

"No!" I yanked her arm back. "Jesus Christ, Pam! Get a hold of yourself!"

"Why is Eric even talking to her?" Pam protested.

I sighed as I looked over my shoulder to where Eric continued speaking to a half angry, half crumbling Felicia. I looked down at the little girl and I knew why. Jessica looked between her brother and her mother with the look of confusion and fear children get when they witness conversations that were really meant for just adults. Claudine was right in thinking Felicia brought the kid as a shield, and it didn't improve my opinion of her one bit.

"We really should go to the cafeteria," Claudine said after a moment.

Helen nodded and started walking away with Claudine at her arm. I started steering Pam along with me and I saw through the corner of my eye as Stan Baker started making his way to Eric and Felicia.

We made it to the cafeteria safe and sound, with Pam still being dragged along by a very pregnant me. We sat down at a table and Claudine hurried over to the counter to get everyone some extra coffee.

"The nerve of that woman!" Pam seethed as she fidgeted in her seat.

I made no comment and sighed, looking discreetly over at Helen who was staring at the table between us, a deep frown on her forehead. It was hard to imagine what she must be thinking. I reached over the table and grasped Helen's hand in mine, trying to offer her some comfort. Helen looked up at me, surprised and smiled reassuringly, squeezing my hand.

"I'm alright, Sookie. I just need to know Axel's going to make it. Everything else is just…" she shook her head with resignation but didn't finish her sentence.

Everything else was just _crap_. I wanted to finish for her. Maybe Felicia decided since the cat was now out of the bag she wasn't going to bother sparing the Northmans anymore. But putting her own child through that? She had no idea what could have happened if I hadn't been able to stop Pam and, I'm sure, had I not been pregnant, I wouldn't have succeeded. And now Eric was forced to deal with her again and that just pissed me off like nothing else ever had. She treated him like an extension of Axel and I wouldn't have that – I'd made Eric promise me he would stay away from her. But now here she was, all up in his face and using the kid as a buffer. Claudine was right, she was smart, and that scared me.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

Felicia was fast becoming much more of a problem than I had anticipated. The sight of her in that waiting room, in the same waiting room as my mother, sister and wife, infuriated me to the point I entertained thoughts that were very shameful. I wanted to shove her back into that elevator and tell her to stay the fuck away. Perhaps it was a good thing Jessica was there…

Screw that, no it wasn't. What was Felicia thinking? Jessica's father was going through open heart surgery – he might not make it. How the hell do you tell that to a 5-year old? Well you just do, apparently. I was grateful Sookie managed to get Pam away from Felicia – I'm sure that would have been disastrous – and poor Jessica would have witnessed everything.

I tried to tell Felicia as much information as I could in a delicate way as to not scare Jessie too much. But there was no euphemism for "he might not make it" so I let that part out. When Felicia insisted she wanted to see him, I had to tell her about the surgery and Jessica's eyes bulged as she asked me what that was. I looked at Felicia pleadingly, so she would get a fucking clue but she was frantic and bombarded me with more questions about my father.

"Felicia?" Stan was suddenly next to us, trusting his hand towards Felicia, who looked from his face to his hand in confusion. "I'm Stan Baker, we spoke on the phone?"

"Oh, yes, hi," she shook his hand impatiently and turned back to me. "Why hadn't he been answering my calls?"

Oh brother…

"You'll have to ask _him_," I said through clenched teeth.

"Can I speak to you for a moment, Miss Foster?" Stan asked gently as he pointed towards the elevator. "Perhaps I can clear that up for you."

Both Felicia and I looked at him strangely now. Stan just looked back at Felicia, waiting for an answer. Felicia looked at me, then at Jessica. "Stay with Eric, Jess. Mommy will be back."

"This way," Stan started leading her away.

Jessica watched her mom for a moment before she looked up at me again. "Is Daddy going to die?"

I grabbed her little had and made her sit on a chair. I sat down next to her and turned to her, resting my elbows on my knees to be able o look into her face.

"I don't know Jessie. Daddy is very sick. But the doctors here are very good and they're taking care of him right now."

"Why aren't you taking care of him?" she asked me in a small voice.

"I can't." I explained. "I'm not allowed because I'm family." I could go into explaining I wasn't a cardiologist, but that would mean nothing to a 5-year old.

"But you're the best doctor!" Jessie protested fiercely and I had to smile. "You are!"

"Well, Dr. Brigant is even better," I told her and she tilted her head giving me a look that told me she didn't think that was true. I guess in her mind, if she didn't know Brigant and hadn't played hide and seek with him, she couldn't securely attest to his medical competence. "Do you want a candy bar?" I asked her as I noticed the vending machine next to the water cooler across the room. I wanted to distract her from thoughts of her father dying.

Jessie shook her head and continued to look at me expectantly. I sighed and stood, offering her my hand.

"Well, I do. How about we share a Kit-Kat?" I started walking her towards the vending machine.

Jessie shook her head. "Mommy says you're going to get cavities!"

"That's what dentists are for, Jessie."

"What's a dentist?"

Good, I had finally distracted her. I managed to get her to eat some peanuts and I sat her down on the chair again. She pointed at her shoe laces, which had come undone and I kneeled down to fix them for her while she told me about what she'd learned at school.

"Eric… practicing?"

I looked over my shoulder at Steve, standing there in his scrubs and I felt a sharp, cold tug in my stomach. I stood up, watching him while my mouth went dry.

"So far everything is going as it should," Steve said immediately. "I'll go in and get information as often as I can."

"Jess, sit here and don't go anywhere, OK?"

Jessica just nodded, distracted by her bag of peanuts' crossword puzzle.

"So I'm guessing no one was aware he had coronary heart disease?" Steve said as we walked.

"The man never caught a flu for as long as I can remember. I don't think he's ever been to a doctor."

Steve nodded. "That would do it. Stress increases chance of a heart attack. Has he been through stressful situations?"

"You could say that," we stopped at a certain distance and I turned to keep an eye on Jessica, who was still frowning at the pack of peanuts. "No guesses on how long this is going to take?"

"Too soon to tell," Steve looked around. "Where did all the Northman women disappear to?"

"I don't know," I said honestly, flinching at the thought of Pam and mom.

"Well, try talking them into going home if you can," Steve patted my back. "You know how long this can take." I just nodded. "I'll page you next time I have anything for you," he said as he started to leave.

I walked back to Jessie and sat next to her, sighing. She ignored me for a while, still focused on the crossword puzzle. Before I knew it, Stan and Felicia were walking back to us and I watched them, wishing I could just send Felicia away.

"Mommy, what animal name starts with a b?" Jessica asked as soon as she reached us.

"Let's go home, Jessie," she said surprisingly, sounding exhausted. She grabbed the girl's backpack which was sitting next to her. "Say good-night to Eric."

"But I thought we were going to see Daddy!" Jessie protested.

"Not tonight," Felicia grabbed her hand to pull her to her feet.

"But…"

"Daddy is with the doctor now, Jessie, no one can see him," I tried to appease her. "They're going to make him better, then you can see him, OK?"

"Alright," Jessie pouted and threw her tiny arms around me. "Night, Eric."

"Good night, Jess," I ruffled her hair and smoothed it before I let her go.

I stood up and Felicia was looking at me angrily. "Will you let me know when I can see him?"

"Like I said," Stan said patiently as he stepped closer. "_I_ will."

Felicia glared at him, grabbed Jessica's hand and started dragging her away towards the elevators.

"I'm so sorry, Eric," Stan said. "If I had known she was coming I wouldn't have told her yet."

"It doesn't matter," I waved it away. "At least she's gone now."

"Your father has made some arrangements regarding Jessica," Stan announced. "That's why she walked out of here fuming like that."

"What kind of arrangements?" I asked frowning.

"Financial."

"I see. You've been speaking to his lawyers."

"He called me and told me what had happened. What he could anyway, he didn't sound very sober. He had me call his legal department," he sighed. "He had been working on this for a while. My guess? He was going to try and make them disappear."

I couldn't help but feel slightly enraged on Jessica's behalf. He planned to pay them off to save his ass? He was going to abandon Jessica? How could he do that? She was his daughter. I hadn't seen them together much, but the times I did see Jessica she always talked about him like he was the coolest Dad on earth.

"I don't even want to _think_ about that right now," I shook my head.

"I understand," Stan said sympathetically. "I'll deal with her from now on."

I looked at him strangely. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because you can't do it and your father certainly won't. I'll do it for Helen – she doesn't need to have this fall on her lap."

I hesitated; still thinking it was strange Stan would want to step into such personal territory when he had always been just about the business. I finally nodded, deciding it didn't matter – Felicia was no longer my problem – I had promised Sookie.

Stan went to the cafeteria to find the girls and bring them back if they wanted to. Mom and Claudine were the first ones to show up. I tried to convince mom to go home but she refused. Claudine kept her company for a while longer but eventually she had to go. She told me Sookie and Pam had stayed behind so Pam could calm down a little more. So after Claudine left, I asked Stan to keep my mother company while I went to the cafeteria.

Sookie was sitting on a table by herself and I could see Pam nowhere. I frowned and walked up to her table, sliding into the seat across from her.

"Hey," I reached for her hand.

"Pam's in the bathroom so no one will see her crying," Sookie sighed, squeezing my hand. "So how did it go with Felicia?"

"Stan handled her," I said, not wanting to talk about her anymore. "You should go home, Sookie, it's past midnight."

"When Pam comes out and we take her to your mom, I will. I do feel tired."

I scooted closer to her and kissed her forehead, wanting nothing more than just hold her to me until everything went away. Unfortunately there would be no going away for me for a while – the least I could do was make sure Sookie got her rest.

When Pam came back, she glared at me as if somehow it was all my fault, but she didn't say anything. We just got up to go back to the 5th floor where Pam joined my mother and Stan. Sookie followed so she could say goodnight to them and Stan offered to drive Sookie home – Sookie said it wasn't necessary but I ended up convincing her it was best. I didn't want her falling asleep at the wheel. Stan said he'd go back to Dad's flat then to get his bag so he could check in at a hotel and shower before he came back.

So it was just mom, Pam and me and it was a long, long night. Neither of us talked much, we just took turns fetching coffee. Around 4:30 am, Brigant came out to let us know it was all over, that father was OK and was being moved to the ICU. He was really kind and considerate, I let mom ask all her questions and he answered them. Visiting hours at the ICU were complicated and now that father was OK, I was able to convince mother to let Pam drive her home.

Stan arrived shortly after that and we talked briefly. He was taking the reins at the Company, and needed to know what to tell or not tell their partners and employees. Steve offered to change my shifts around so I could rest but I declined – after a 2 hour nap I changed and got back to work, after calling Sookie and telling her the news. I would take the next day off instead, after the crucial 24 hours. Well every hour of his life from now on would be crucial, because I had no idea how we could spare him from _stress_ given the current turn of events…

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

It was bizarre to think about what life had turned into for the Northmans. It was strange to watch things happening and not wonder about divine providence and fate. The week of Axel's heart attack and the following made for some of the strangest lessons in forgiveness I had ever witnessed.

Helen was by Axel's hospital bed as often as she was allowed, and, whenever she was not there, she was making arrangements for his recovery at home – _their_ home. She talked to Dr. Brigant extensively about Axel's recovery and what other dangers he faced now that he had been diagnosed with CHD.

On the third day at the hospital, when Axel was moved from the ICU to a private room, Helen called Felicia herself and told her she could come see him, and bring Jessica with her. Pam had been horrified, so Helen advised her not to go visit him that day if it bothered her – it was strange.

Pam had visited him every day, but she never went into the ICU, she just accompanied her mother and asked questions about his recovery. Eric would see him more often than not, since he worked there and he said the heart attack seemed to have sobered his Dad to a scary degree. On my first visit to him, when he was in the private room, I could see that for myself. He'd sat me next to him and apologized for the strain he had caused me and Eric in the past few years – he begged me to forgive him and to forgive Eric, promising me Eric would be a better man because he still had me. It was touching.

Helen wasn't taking him back in the literal sense. But they'd made their peace, and she wanted to take care of him, after all, he had been her companion for most of her life, and there was no one he trusted more. I admired her and wondered if she was as at peace as she seemed to be or if she was really burning inside with suppressed rage. Well I knew where Pam stood in that area – she suppressed nothing… but she respected her mother's decision and promised to be civil to Axel.

After those two weeks, it was impossible not to take a moment, sigh and shake your head, wondering if you hadn't imagined it all, if you hadn't just woken up from a really strange dream. Which was what I did, and I had to shake my head again because I was horribly sleepy these days.

"You alright?" Eric asked me from the driver's seat.

We were driving to Steve's house. We had had to postpone lunch with Steve and Sarah given Axel's health. But there we were, going to meet the girl. I looked down at my lap, where my home-made apple pie was resting precariously – I shifted to be able to hold it better. I smiled and nodded.

"Yup! Just need to stay awake or Steve will think I'm rude."

"No he'll just think he's boring," Eric said. "Which wouldn't be a lie."

"Eric!" I chastised him but we were both chuckling.

"And here we are," he said as he started pulling over.

The house was like something out of _Home&Garden_, one of those perfect, upper-middle class dream homes with the lawn and the flowerbeds and, gosh, I think I even saw squirrels bouncing in the background! Steve was walking out the front door, smiling like a maniac – behind him a blonde woman in a yellow and blue dress watched with her right hand shielding her eyes from the midday sun.

"Good Lord, she's a Stepford wife!" I whispered to Eric as I took in her perfect dress and perfect hair.

Eric snorted and killed the engine before pushing his door open at the same time Steve was pulling mine.

"Welcome to our home!" Steve offered me his hand jovially.

"Hi, Steve!" I grabbed his hand and clutched my apple pie to my side as I climbed out of the car. Eric closed the door for me as Steve walked me over to Sarah who was now on the driveway with us. "Sookie, I want you to meet Sarah, my fiancé."

"Sookie, it's so nice to finally meet you!" Sarah said in the sweetest voice I had ever heard, she smelled nice too.

"Likewise! I've been hearing so much about you!" I told her as I winked at Steve. "Oh, I brought apple pie."

"Oh, thank you!" Sarah took it from my hands. "And this must be Eric!" she looked at my husband as he stopped beside me. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries before Sarah started walking back. "Come on inside! Lunch is ready!"

Sarah was every bit as perfect as Steve had said she was, which was kind of frightening. I watched her move about her pristine kitchen and come out with the most sinful-looking dishes. There was no clutter about her sink, even with all the cooking she had been doing, and to my complete puzzlement her nails were perfect as if she'd just had them done. Even her fucking diction was perfect.

I sat there, feeling round and heavy and fat, watching Sarah put the finishing touches on her salad while she told me about her perfect family back in Texas – they sounded awesome! Damn her! Soon, we could smell the meat on Steve's grill and we grabbed the rest of the food to join the men outside. It was then I saw the dog. They had a dog! A dog! It was nauseating really, but I was happy for Steve.

"So how is your father doing, Eric?" Sarah asked as she handed him a plate complete with sausages, mayonnaise and decorative egg salad.

"Oh, he's fine," Eric said as he accepted the plate and tossed me a funny look. "He's been good, my mother is making sure he behaves."

"Then she's a good woman!" Sarah smiled as she offered me a glass of orange juice.

Oh, she had no idea…

We were in the middle of October, so, there was little heat to be enjoyed after the sun reached its peak. After we ate we moved indoors and I helped Sarah with the kitchen while Steve tried – tried being the operative word – to get the dog Millus, a Boston Terrier, to perform a trick or two for Eric. At some point I just heard a grunt and a "stupid dog" mumble that, thankfully, Sarah didn't seem to hear.

After sundown, we bid our goodbyes, promising Sarah we'd see her at the wedding and we got back into the car to drive home.

"Well, that was…" Eric said as he started the car.

I sighed tiredly as I fixed my seat belt and stared at the well lit house and the couple standing on the porch, with Millus at their feet. "Do you think we should get a dog?"

Eric looked at me like I was crazy but smirked. "In that apartment?"

"A _small_ dog!" I grinned.

"Let's practice with the human child first, sweetheart," Eric said noncommittally as he put the car in motion and I laughed into my hand. "If we don't kill him, we can get a dog."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Always am."

There was a note stuck to our door when we got home. It was from Lafayette, saying the bassinet had been delivered to them downstairs, but he didn't mind as the delivery boys were quite cute. I giggled while Eric rolled his eyes and opened the door, complaining about the delivery people never doing anything right. He had told them if they were going to bring it today it had to be in the morning or we wouldn't be home – useless warning. I went inside and Eric went downstairs to work a way to get the bassinet up.

I fixed a quick dinner while Eric and Lafayette busied themselves in the bedroom, trying to get the bassinet assembled. Tara poked her head in the kitchen just as I was doing the washing.

"Knock, knock!"

"Tara girl!" I waved her in. "I feel like I haven't seen you in months!" I looked at her tummy, she had gotten bigger – I probably had too.

"Well you had a lot going on," Tara said as she eased herself onto a stool. "How's your father-in-law?"

"He's doing better," I said sitting across from her, placing a bowl of chips between us. "We're going to see them tomorrow, actually. Helen's first family lunch after this whole mess."

"Well somebody should give her a prize," Tara snorted.

"So how's the apartment hunt going?"

"Lafayette convinced me to stay with him and Alejandro a while longer," she shrugged. "They don't bother me, they're almost girls."

"And they can help you with the baby."

"Grace," Tara smiled.

"Grace?" I perked up. "That's pretty, I like it!" I stole a chip from the bowl.

"How about your baby? Have you guys picked a name yet?"

"We have Daniel, Michael, and Leif…" I counted on my fingers. "…that's it."

"Those are good choices," Tara popped a chip into her mouth.

"Yeah but none of them have been that name that just… pops with meaning, you know?" I sighed with dismay.

"You're naming a child, not a Biblical character," Tara winked and I snorted at her. "How about we go check how those two are doing with the bassinet?"

Turns out they were pretty much done assembling and were standing there admiring their handiwork. It was a lovely bassinet – dark, polished wood and blue and green fabric all over it. Eric looked really happy to finally have picked a piece of baby furniture himself.

We had Lafayette, Tara and Alejandro join us for dinner, and we all caught up on what had been going on since Axel's heart attack had sort of kept us from everybody else in the last two weeks. We fixed the kitchen and played cards all night. It was a good evening, the first fun, light hearted one in a while. The only thing I was nervous about was tomorrow at Helen's. It would be the first time the family would be together outside of the hospital and I knew Eric was anxious about that.

I watched him as we pulled the covers to get into bed and I could already see the beginnings of a frown on his face. I scooted closer to him when we lay down and he put his arm around me and a hand on my tummy. I kissed his chin and rested my head on his chest.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Are you?" Eric dodged my question.

"Well yeah, I mean," I sighed, feeling as he started stroking my hair. "What if it doesn't work? What if they're fighting all the time? What if Pam doesn't come?"

"Pam will come," Eric said with certainty. "She won't leave mother alone, no matter how stupid she thinks she's being."

"I guess," I shrugged. "How long is he living with her for, anyway?"

"I don't know. I guess, until she's sure he can take care of himself."

"I don't know what I would do, you know?" I said, feeling my eyelids growing heavier as he continued to stroke my hair. "If it had been you, I mean."

"You wouldn't take care of me if I had a heart attack?" he asked curiously.

"Well…" I had my eyes closed and frowned. "Of course I would."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it."

Eric chuckled. "Maybe you should have been my mother's child then. That sounds like her."

"That would have been weird Eric. Having my brother's baby and all that," I said sleepily and he chuckled again.

xxxxxxx


	16. Chapter 16

xxxxxx

**EPOV**

"Fucking good that will do him!" were my sister's first words when she opened the door for us on Sunday.

Sookie and I just stared at her in confusion, until we realized she was talking on the phone, not to us. She stepped back to let us in and closed the door behind us. I looked at her inquisitively and she pointed towards the living room. So we headed that way and as we did, we could hear my parents talking. They were discussing something about whether dad had taken the meds at the right time or not. They sounded pretty civil and as I walked into the living room it was easy to forget these two were just friends right now.

Mother was standing in front of him on the couch, handing him a glass of water and some pills. Father looked pretty emaciated; he had been having a slow recovery. Brigant thought he might need surgery in the near future. Fortunately, mom had kept the spirits at home pretty tame so he wouldn't stress out. She had to keep Pam at bay, which couldn't be easy.

"Hello!" Sookie said cheerfully to announce our presence.

"Oh, there you are!" mother said as she straightened up and smiled at us. "Axel, the kids are here!"

"I can see them, obviously," father muttered with a roll of his eyes but he was smiling.

"Oh, Sookie you're getting bigger every day!" mom said as she hugged Sookie. "We're getting closer, aren't we?"

"I wish!" Sookie scoffed. "Hello Axel, how are you today?" she sat on the couch next to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Eric, you should cut your hair!" mother said randomly after I leaned down to kiss her cheek. "And shave!"

"Good to see you too!" I teased her before I moved on to talk to dad. "How was your check up yesterday?"

"He says I'll live," father deadpanned. We both stared at each other and he finally cracked a smile. "I'm fine."

"Good," I watched as mother and Sookie left the room, steering Pam, who was just coming in, to follow them. "Is everything alright around here?" I asked him once we were alone. "No arguing?"

"We're fine," father shrugged. "As fine as it can be expected."

I nodded. "How is business? Is Stan handling everything OK on his own?"

"He is doing fine – he's always done fine," dad said dismissively. "How's your baby doing?"

"Growing," I smiled. "Anxious to meet your grandson?"

"Well he is my last hope," dad chuckled. "Before I make Stan my only heir!"

I rolled my eyes. "Right."

"After all, at this rate, even if Pam has children they won't call me grandpa."

"They won't?"

"No, she said she'll make them call me Asshole."

To my surprise, he chuckled as he said that, I watched him strangely, my lips rehearsing a smile. Perhaps this whole heart attack did turn things in his favor after all – he was at least a pleasant person again.

"Speaking of your heirs…" I looked around the room to make sure we were alone. "What are you going to do about Jessica?"

"What do you mean what I'm going to do about her? What I've always done! She'll have everything a child of mine has the right to have."

"You don't plan to see her anymore?" I asked, remembering what Stan told me two weeks ago.

"I saw her at the hospital, twice. I will see her, it's just not appropriate to see her _now_," father said impatiently. "Do you want your mother to just open the door for her and sit here and entertain her?"

"No. Of course not." I thought for a moment whether I wanted to open that can of worms or not. "Stan mentioned something about your plans for Jessica and Felicia…"

Father looked appropriately ashamed and ran his hand over his face, suddenly looking a lot older. "That was… well that was then."

"What happened? Why did you decide to do it?"

My father looked at me for a long moment, as if decided whether to be honest or not. I held his gaze, starting to frown at his hesitation.

"When I made those plans, I was just looking into making her disappear…"

"Felicia?"

"Yes."

"How about Jessica? You'd never see her again?"

"I was willing to pay that price," dad admitted, and to his credit, he did look appropriately ashamed. "But now… well now it doesn't matter where she goes – what I had been trying to protect…" he gestured around the living room. "…well it's all gone now, isn't it?"

"Why now?" I asked narrowing my eyes. "You had seven years to regret this, to let her go, why now?"

"Because now she began showing her true colors!" dad said angrily, his neck becoming slightly red. "That night at the Matte Lounge, with Sookie, I thought it was all over then!"

Well, in truth, that moment did end everything – three months later.

"She told me about that," I said. "She said it was a coincidence."

My father laughed bitterly. "Oh yes, she would tell you that."

"Why do you say that?"

"She's a snake, Eric. Don't let her pretty eyes fool you the way they fooled me. She orchestrated that evening; she just didn't time it right."

"Why would she go to Sookie? Why not mom? She's the one…"

"Lunch is ready!" Sookie said in a sing-song voice as she poked her head inside the living room. "Come on you two…" she stopped, her smile fading, and she looked at Dad with worry. "Axel, why are you so flushed? Eric, check his blood pressure!"

I looked from Sookie to my father and I thought it was probably a good idea. I got up to get the blood pressure cuff from mom's medicine cabinet. When I got back, Sookie and mother were fussing over him while he tried to wave them off and Pam watched from the doorway, a bit worried-looking.

It was a bit high, but I didn't want to give him any extra drugs, so I just suggested we got up to eat and check later. I shared a meaningful look with him as I helped him up – I knew the subject matter had caused it and we wouldn't be talking about Felicia for a while.

After lunch we all helped mom cleaning the kitchen, except dad, whom was given the minor task of feeding the dogs and then sitting down in the TV room. Pam left early, saying she had an appointment with someone.

After I checked on Dad to make sure his pressure had gone down I let him to talk on the phone with Stan since it seemed important and returned to the living room where mom was showing Sookie the latest baby-clothing piece she had knitted for the baby. There was a lot of awing and I joined them to see what it was she had made this time.

"Isn't it adorable?" Sookie asked in a baby-voice as she showed me what looked like the world's tiniest beanie-hat. It was moss green with a teddy-bear motif sown into it. "Lookie!"

"Yeah it's…" I took it in my hands. "Tiny."

"Have you two decided what to call my grandson yet?" mother asked admonishingly. "I'm tired of calling him baby!"

"We are working on a list!" Sookie said as she grabbed the hat back from me.

"Sookie wants to call him Humphrey," I announced as I sat on the armchair across from the couch where they were seated.

Mom looked at the both of us with a hilarious expression on her face, until I just cracked a smile and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Eric!"

"Eric hates all the cute names I pick!" Sookie complained as she examined what looked like a sock. "Perfectly good names too!"

"Axel was like that," Helen huffed. "Pam was a poor nameless child until she was two weeks old."

"Oh…" Sookie looked at me. "We have to pick a name."

"You know what we did?" mom asked with a reminiscing smile. "We made a deal early on that if we had a boy, I got to name him and if we had a girl, Axel would get to name her."

"Oh so Eric was your pick?" Sookie asked.

"No!" mother grinned. "Axel vetoed my choice. I guess he just preferred Eric – I liked it too actually, it suits him."

"Well what would you have called him?" Sookie wanted to know.

Mother looked at me and smiled. "The bringer of light – I would have named him Lukas."

I remembered hearing that story before – it usually got an _aaaaww_ from people whenever she told them. Sookie didn't _aaaww_ verbally but she did look at me with just the right expression. I grinned at her. Then she looked at the little jacket now in her hands and paused, looking up with a completely different look in her eyes – I cocked my head at her, I knew what she was thinking.

"We'll take it," I told mom.

"What?" Mom looked up from her knitting, which had distracted her.

"Lukas," Sookie told her in my place. "We love it," she said looking at me with a satisfied smile. "It has what we wanted, it has meaning."

"Oh!" mother looked at us both with pride. "Well that's lovely! I finally named a boy!"

We all laughed and mother and Sookie were back to leaning their heads over tiny pieces of clothing while I watched them.

The name was appropriate. A child was always light – it certainly fit. In the murky hues our life had taken, Lukas would certainly brighten things up. As I watched Sookie across from me, my eyes on her lovely tummy, I felt slightly different. Now that our baby had a name I felt almost as if he were already here. I couldn't wait until he finally was.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2010**

Strangely enough, I wasn't upset when Eric announced he was going to Haiti. I wasn't even mad that when he announced it, he was three days from departure. I had encouraged him to go earlier, nearly a month ago, when Russell's letters arrived. He had been the reluctant one then. But, somehow, all of the sudden, he seemed eager to go. Helen gave him an earful about it, but I stepped in to tell her I wanted him to go, that he was needed there more than here and we had left it at that. A small part of me, a part that I was ashamed of later, wanted him gone.

It didn't last long though. Two weeks into being alone in the apartment and I was missing him and wishing he hadn't left - resenting him for it, even though I all but packed his things myself. I was a fucking mess. I decided to try new things then, to occupy my time. I started going swimming once a week, playing tennis with Claudine on the weekends and I even took China painting lessons for God sakes! Keeping busy meant little time to regret and resent and feel miserable.

It was early March when, during a visit, Amy cornered me in the kitchen alone while Jason was watching TV in the living room.

"So Gran told me you have been doing better," she said casually as she dried the dishes for me. "Do you think you're ready to start trying again?"

I eyed Amy suspiciously, with my mouth shut. Had Gran put her up to this? I took a moment to think of an answer while I squirted more detergent to clean a particularly greasy pan.

"We're not trying again," I shrugged, keeping my eyes on my dishes.

"Oh…" Amy sounded sad. "Maybe it's just too early."

"Amy, don't get me wrong," I told her. "But I really don't want to talk about it."

Amy nodded and smiled, understanding. "We're all just worried about you, Sook." We heard Jason laughing at something on TV then and Amy rolled her eyes. "Even Jason, despite appearances." I smiled at that. "Plus…" she tossed the cloth aside and took a deep breath. "I'm doing some spying for Gran, so you might as well just make my life easier and we can drop it."

I nodded, smiling – Amy has always been practical, it was the reason she had lasted with Jason this long – there were no shenanigans with Amy Burley.

"Shoot."

"Are you and Eric splitting up?" she asked simply.

I looked up at that, surprised. "What? Is that what Gran thinks?"

Amy rolled her eyes at me. "He left you here to grieve alone!"

I flinched at that. "Yeah that was not as simple as that… I think."

"What do you mean?"

"I told him to go," I said regretfully. "I encouraged him!"

Amy narrowed her eyes at me. "Look Sookie, there are several types of depression…"

"I'm not planning to get a divorce, if that's what Gran's asking," I paused, as a different thought occurred to me then. "I… can't speak for Eric, I suppose."

Amy tilted her head in sympathy and hesitated, folding her arms across herself while she watched me wash another pan. "You can't let stuff pile up, Sookie. You two need to talk more. Is he OK with this not having kids thing?"

Amy was too perceptive for her own good and I glared at her momentarily before I shrugged. "I don't know. He didn't _say_ anything against it." But I knew he was unhappy about it. "He was mostly just… supportive."

"Well, find out. Talk to the man for God's sake!" Amy said admonishingly. "And tell him to get his ass back here and take care of you!"

I smiled at my sister-in-law. Jason was a really lucky guy. I nodded and we went back to fixing the kitchen in companiable silence. What she said did stick in my head – and suddenly I did wonder if Eric was going to leave me now that kids were off the table... I was suddenly paranoid about this – But I would only hear from him on Friday, when he was going to be able to call again. I had the rest of the week to obsess over what Amy said.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

November marked my seventh month and, all things considered I was doing pretty well. I was working from home more often than not now and every time I did go to the WVN offices I was surrounded by colleagues gushing over my giant belly, which reduced the time I actually got to work. Eric continued his work at Brigant and now that they were giving him free reign where the Free Clinic was concerned he was feeling quite good about doing what he loved doing.

Helen and Axel seemed to be doing well as roommates and he had even started going back to work now. As far as I knew he had stopped avoiding contact with Felicia and Jessica and they had moved permanently from the hotel to a brand new apartment. According to Eric, she had moved to New Orleans after Jessica was born – but wanted her to be close to her Dad now. It sounded fair.

I never saw Jessica again after that day at the hospital. We were never introduced, and I never spoke to Felicia after that whole mess. Helen was the one who, apparently, decided to handle them now, strange as it was – after the first couple of weeks recovering at home, Axel could actually see Jessica in his own home. I was a bit surprised Helen was _that_ nice. Felicia would just drive her though, and she and Helen kept talking to a minimum. Whenever Felicia wanted to speak to Axel, she'd have to arrange a meeting with him somewhere else.

Pam continued to keep her distance – even when she visited Helen and he was there, she barely addressed him. She didn't want to know about Jessica and made a point to never be there if the little girl was supposed to be around. I knew Eric had a relationship of sorts with his half-sister already – as much as I resented how he built it, I didn't want to cut him from her, so I told him I was OK with him seeing Jessica whenever he wanted. I didn't like that it put him close to Felicia – I didn't trust that woman at all – but I had to trust Eric.

Tara was feeling even worse than I was, and she was certainly glad she hadn't moved out of her cousin's house now. We spent a lot of time together commiserating, window shopping and, surprise, surprise, trying to knit stuff together.

"Does it look like a sock?" Tara asked me dubiously as she raised a shapeless lump of red wool in her hands.

"Ah…" I thought about my words carefully. "Sure…" _If you twist your head a certain way, maybe._

"I think it looks like a liver," Tara said matter of factly.

_Oh yeah…_

"How about this?" I lifted the little sweater I was trying o knit.

"It's uhm… it's good!" Tara lied.

"Hello mammas!" Lafayette called as he came in. "How are my girls doing?" he carried a bag that smelled delicious.

"What do you have in there?" Tara took the words right out of my mouth.

"Blueberry pie!" Lafayette winked. "A gift from Alejandro."

"Alejandro's a beast in the kitchen," Tara said eyeing the plastic bag with longing.

"He's a beast in the bedroom too!" Lafayette said offhandedly as he headed for the kitchen.

"We're not interested in those skills, just serve it up dammit!" Tara yelled after him while I laughed.

"You got it bitch!"

We abandoned all the knitting and sat together in the living room with generous slices of Alejandro's legendary blueberry pie. We ate in nearly reverent silence until Lafayette pointed out we had to stop making sex noises before Eric walked through that door and then we just burst out laughing and resumed conversation.

"Why are you not having a baby shower, Tara?" I asked her as I forked another piece of delicious pie.

"Because I hate most of the women who I would invite to one."

Lafayette and I exchanged a look. Lafayette shrugged.

"Well, little Grace will have a couple of Uncles who will spoil the shit out of her anyway. No baby showers needed."

"And one Aunty!" I joined in. "Well I hope you're not opposed to the concept of baby showers in general because you're coming to mine!"

"Oh, I'd love to come to yours!" Tara helped herself to another slice of pie. "Is it before or after Thanksgiving?"

"After. Gran is coming too; you'll get to meet her."

"Oh, I'm dying to meet her – she sounds like she's everything I wanted my mother to be," Tara snorted.

Lafayette eyed Tara funny and I just chuckled. Tara was especially bitter now she was closer to giving birth – we hoped the baby would make her happier.

"Hey where's Eric anyway?" Lafayette asked after a pause.

"He was out with Lorena's husband," I said taking the last bite of my pie.

"Your OB/GYN?" Lafayette cocked an eyebrow.

"He's a publisher. He wants Eric to write a book about life as a relief worker."

"Ah."

"That's a sort of end-of-my-career move; does that mean he's not doing it anymore?" Tara asked dubiously.

"Well," I put my plate down. "He obviously is going to have his hands full for a while," I patted my tummy. "Lukas says he won't put up with remote parenting."

"Lukas says huh?" Tara snorted.

"Shush!" I nodded at her plate. "Eat your pie."

As if he had been summoned, Eric walked through the door right then. He stopped, taking in all of us. He was wearing his tracksuit and carrying his tennis racket.

"Well hello people who don't live here!" he said animatedly. "Sookie!" he leaned over the couch to kiss me. "You taste nice. What is it?"

"Alejandro's Blueberry Pie."

"I'll grab you a plate!" Lafayette said as he got up.

"Thanks!" Eric dumped his racket behind the couch and jumped over it to sit next to me. "How are you doing Tara?"

"Excellent," Tara said with her mouth full. "So you're writing a book?"

"Uh, yeah I think so." Lafayette handed him a plate with a slice of pie. "Thanks."

"Can you write anything other than prescriptions, Dr. Northman?" Tara teased.

"I guess we'll find out," Eric tossed back, amused, before he took his first bite. "Damn, this tastes good."

"I'm sure he's going to do great!" I said defensively with my hand on his knee. "Besides, I'm going to help him."

"That's cute," Tara snorted.

"Alright, time to take Miss Grumpy Pants for a nap!" Lafayette said clapping his hands and getting up again.

"What? I'm not grumpy!" Tara protested as Lafayette pried her plate from her hands. "Hey!"

"Come on, Tara. Eric and Sookie want some alone time."

Tara rolled her eyes as Lafayette offered her his hand, but she ended up taking it – getting out of her armchair without help would have been tricky. They gathered Tara's knitting stuff and wished us good night before they left.

Eric was helping himself to his second slice of pie and I started putting away my knitting stuff as well.

"So, how was the game?"

"We kicked ass," Eric said distractedly as he stared at the left over pie. I couldn't blame him – it was a very good pie.

"So you didn't talk about the book at all?" I inquired.

"Oh, there was that too."

"And?"

"I'm doing it, like I said."

"Good!" I beamed.

"Between that and the Free Clinic, I'm cutting down hours at hospital."

"I'm sure Steve's gonna be thrilled about that," I snorted.

Eric shrugged. "It won't be forever." He finished his pie and put the plate away. "Now I think… since Bill's gonna pay me to write a few prescriptions, according to Tara…" I chuckled and he pulled me onto his lap. "We ought to celebrate!" he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I let him kiss me for a bit before I pulled away to whisper in his year. "Shower first, you kinda stink."

He lunged at my neck and started tickling me at the same time. I protested and tried to wiggle away from him, but considering I was as speedy as an elephant at this point, I was getting nowhere and I could feel my whole body flushing as he tickled me relentlessly.

"Nooo!" I giggled and tried to push him away.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, we didn't even make it through our door, you guys!"

We both stopped and looked up to see Tara standing by the door – we looked at her open mouthed.

"I forgot my purse, Sookie," she deadpanned.

"Oh!" I took advantage of the interruption to climb out of Mr. Grabby's lap. "It's in my bedroom, I'll go get it!"

"So Tara how's life?" I heard Eric's mocking tone as I walked away. I could also hear Tara's X-rated comeback and snorted. Pregnant-Tara was really something special.

xxxxxxx


	17. Chapter 17

xxxxxx

**EPOV – 2010**

The rain was pretty bad over survivor's camp and aid workers and able-bodied locals alike were running up and down to get people and supplies to higher, drier locations. When the downpour finally started letting up, there was little sunlight left and the emergency generator-powered lights starting going up, outlining the map of the camp, marking how far it stretched right now.

I stood outside the medicine and supplies tent as I watched the struggle of a helicopter, trying to land over an open field, 100 yards away from where I stood. It should have arrived four hours earlier, but weather caused the delay.

"Eric, I'm going to need this," Sophie-Anne was suddenly in front of me, reaching to slide my stethoscope from around my neck.

I let her have it and looked away from the helicopter to watch as Sophie-Anne reached into her pocket for a key and tucked it into my breast pocket. "You better hurry up; Russell's going to need you on camp A for an amputation."

"Yeah, thanks," I patted my pocket to certify the key was there. "Don't lose mine too, will ya?" I nodded at my stethoscope now hanging from her neck.

"I didn't lose mine, I misplaced it!" Sophie-Anne yelled at me as I was already jogging across to where the jeep was waiting.

"Doctor Northman," Frantz nodded at me as I hopped up and took the passenger's seat before handing him the key from Sophie-Anne. "Wet day."

"Let's get going," I patted the dashboard eagerly.

"Doctor Northman eager to talk to his lady!" Frantz laughed.

Frantz was our local driver – he had survived the earthquake with barely a scratch and immediately stepped up to help others. He was a big fan of Russell and spent most of his time trying to help his team. He had no family, which in his mind was a good thing – he had nobody to grieve and could focus on helping those who had too much to grieve for. He was only 18 years old, and six weeks at camp inspired him to become a doctor. We all liked Frantz and hoped we could help him fulfill his newfound dream.

He drove up a muddy slope into a private area – where the military and administrators kept things going. After we were cleared to go on, Frantz drove right to the communications office and killed the engine.

"Good luck."

I patted his shoulder and hopped off the jeep, jogging into the small office were a Haitian military woman stood behind a counter, talking into a phone. She nodded at me when I walked in and it was the all-clear I needed. Phone-lines for private conversations were limited; we could only make one personal phone-call per week, so we had to make the most of it. Until we had more conditions, it was the way it was.

"_Hello?_"

Her voice made my heart ache – every time we talked, it ached more and the guilt seared deeper. I leaned my head against the wall and inhaled.

"_Eric_?" she asked uncertainly. "_Eric, is that you?_"

"Yes," I finally breathed into the phone, forgetting I hadn't said anything at all. "Sookie, it's me."

"_Oh, I was wondering when you'd call…_" there was relief in her voice. "_How are things over there?"_

"They're… just more of the same," I said truthfully. "How are _you_? Are you OK? Did you get rid of that cold?" she had been sniffly the last time we spoke.

"_Oh yeah that went away the next day_," she said dismissively. "_I'm… I'm fine_," she said a bit reluctantly. "_I've been keeping busy. Pam was here yesterday and we watched a movie._"

I silently thanked Pam as more guilt tugged at me. She had made a point to tell me I was an insensitive jerk when she heard I was leaving – and Pam is not one of the most sensitive people herself. If she was going out of her way to be nice to Sookie in my absence, then perhaps she had been right Sookie wasn't as happy to see me leave as I initially thought she had been.

I just listened as she continued to tell me what had happened the whole week. In true Sookie fashion she kept her tone exaggeratedly excited and perky – I knew it was forced. It just made me feel worse. Around the third time I could call, she had lost her indifference and had started to sound resentful – making me know she was unhappy I was here. So for her to change to this pretend-upbeat tone, something must have happened.

"Sookie, what happened? You don't sound right," I said once she made a pause big enough for me to get a word in.

"_What? Nothing happened. What do I sound like?_" she asked with annoyance.

I sighed, propping an elbow against the wall and leaning my head against my hand tiredly. "You're upset."

"_I'm not…_"

"Sookie…"

"_Eric!"_

I closed my eyes and just said it. "I'm sorry I didn't stay home with you."

Silence.

"Sookie?"

There was a distinctive sniffle. "_I'm sorry I told you I wanted you to go."_

"I should have stayed anyway."

"_Yes, you should…_"

"I miss you."

"_I miss you too. When are you coming home?_"

"Just two more weeks, sweetheart. Two more weeks and when the next team flies in I'll get myself out."

"_Do you promise_?"

"I promise."

She sighed with what I could only assume was relief. "_We have to talk about it, Eric. Not now. But when you get home we have to deal with this. We need to talk about why this happened._"

"We will," I said, knowing she was right. "When I'm home."

"_Two weeks._"

"Two weeks."

We talked a bit more and then I made it back to camp and straight back to work, to get my mind off the long wait ahead. I loved what I did – but it seemed like this kind of work had become synonym with running from Sookie. Running because I sucked at making her feel better – I could pinpoint the moment when this had become a pattern. It had been when we started trying to start a family. Well… now that it was just going to be the two of us, it might be the end of that.

Later that night I was in my tent, lying down on my cot and listening to the drizzle beating against the canvas. I was reading some reports with the help of a single gas lamp resting on a pile of boxes next to me.

"Bed time light reading!" Sophie-Anne suddenly popped her head inside. "I wish you'd just be reading Harry Potter like normal people," she joked as she pushed the flaps and sneaked inside.

"I thought people were all about Twilight now," I said offhandedly.

Sophie-Anne snorted. "I think we both might be out of touch with reality," she said and dropped my stethoscope on my stomach, causing me to jump and glare at her. "Thanks for the loan."

"You're welcome," I grabbed it and tossed it to the side.

Sophie-Anne took a sit on a stool next to me and proceeded to brush water off her hair and skin.

"So are you really out in two weeks?" she asked me innocently.

"Who told you that?" I asked her, tearing my eyes away from the list I was focused on.

"Russell," she shrugged. "I was wondering how long you were going to last."

"Is there a reason you're here?" I tossed my papers aside, feeling the annoyance arriving.

"Don't be so touchy!" she screwed her nose at me. "You're such a sourpuss these days."

"Point. Get to it or get out," I said snapping my fingers in a way I knew annoyed the hell out of her.

"You have too much drama in your life lately, Eric," Sophie-Anne said patiently, moving from the stool to sit on the cot next to me, facing me. "Life's too fucking short for that. No one knows it better how short it is than us." She said a bit haughtily. "Just adopt and get this over with. You'll both be happy and you can stop moping through camps the world over."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Count on Sophie-Anne to minimize everybody's problems and move on to the next topic like it was nothing. I just stared back at her, expecting her to do just that.

"So, are you going to take me up on my offer?" she asked in a business-like manner.

"No," I said grabbing my papers again. "Your boyfriend and my wife would not appreciate it."

I could hear her sniggering. "You're so easy to tease, Eric."

"And you're a bully," I told her keeping my eyes on my reading.

I could see her shrugging in my peripheral vision. "See you tomorrow then. Hopefully now you've made up you'll lighten up!" she pushed off her stool before walking out of the tent.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – 2012**

I shuddered pleasurably and arched my back in response to the feel of Eric pumping in and out of me at a languorous pace. I sighed, raking my blunt nails up and down his arm as it wound around me to hold my back to his chest. We were spooning in bed together; the sunlight sneaking through the shades to alert us to the fact morning was here. Neither of us wanted much to do with getting up and one thing led to another and soon we were both gasping and panting with our efforts at a quiet roll in the hay. It had to be quiet because Gran was sleeping in the nursery just down the hall.

I bit into my lip to keep from moaning as Eric increased his pace a little and slipped his hand between my thighs. He pressed open-mouthed kisses to my shoulder, neck and jaw as his fingers worked their magic, making me gasp and see stars as they burst in front of my eyes.

"Ssshh," Eric chuckled and tilted my head to cover my mouth with his before I got any louder.

"It's your fault!" I whispered back and nipped at his bottom lip when he pulled away.

Eric's response was to groan and bury his head into the hollow of my neck as he shuddered through his climax at the same time he coaxed mine out of me with those talented fingers of his. I sighed and trembled when he pulled out of me a moment later, pressing a kiss onto my shoulder and running his hand up my side. I rolled onto my back and stared up at him, his smile immediately stealing one out of me as well. I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him fully on the lips. I slid my tongue into his mouth to seek his and electricity jolted through me when he responded with equal eagerness. I pouted, knowing we had to break this party up.

"We should get up…" I sighed regretfully when we pulled away for air. "Gran must be awake already," I traced the sharp lines of his jaw with my fingers, appreciating how beautiful he looked when he was sated. "We have to be good hosts and all that."

Eric snagged my roaming fingers and kissed my finger pads one by one. "Let me take care of her," he rubbed my tummy through my nightgown. "You take your time and have a bath if you want. You need to relax."

"Oh I'm quite relaxed…" I grinned lazily watching him play with my fingers. "Thanks by the way."

Eric smiled and leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose. "Bath… doctor's orders. I'll come help you out when I'm done helping Gran with breakfast."

"Well, if it's the doctor's orders…" I resigned jokingly.

Gran had come up for Thanksgiving – she decided if anyone should be spared hours in a car driving anywhere for the holiday it was her heavily pregnant granddaughter. I liked the idea of doing all of the holiday cooking in my kitchen. I spent hours on a shopping list and then had to go over it with Gran and Amy and really everyone we had coming over. There would be so much food; we might have to call the neighbors! That was the Stackhouse way.

The weekend after Thanksgiving would be my baby shower, so Gran was obviously staying the whole week. We had to fix the air mattress for her, and Eric was glad he wasn't the one to be occupying it for once. I was happy to have her near me even if for that short time, for so many reasons. Given the pregnancy, the biggest reason was probably having my "mother" near me, guiding me, soothing me – because I definitely needed the soothing. The closer I got to giving birth, the more I panicked. Gran had a calming effect on me.

Jason and Amy would be driving from New Orleans that evening and sleeping on makeshift beds in the living room. Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro would be joining us, of course. As would Helen and Pam. We were still uncertain if Axel was coming. He was still living with Helen, but making plans to move to a new apartment soon – plus, he never really cared for American holidays and now he had little reason to indulge his half-American family.

"Good morning, sweetie!" Gran thrilled when I ambled into the kitchen, tummy-first. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yep," I swept my eyes over the kitchen and realized she had brought Bon Temps with her – all of her breakfast goodies were available. It all smelled fantastic. "How about you, did the mattress work for you?"

"Oh yes, it's quite comfortable," Gran said as she worked on something in a frying pan. "Sit down and drink your milk and tea."

"Well, it seems like you have everything under control," I laughed as I obeyed.

"Oh, Eric helped me quite a lot!" Gran said hurriedly. "He's so solicitous!"

"Really?" I cocked an eyebrow as I watched Eric walking in the kitchen, coming from our bedroom where he had probably just finished making our bed. "I wouldn't know. He's probably sucking up to you!"

"Shut up, I'm adorable," Eric muttered under his breath as he sat down next to me and stole a toast from my plate.

I sniggered and just let him, I was more interested in the pile of pancakes Gran was putting on the table right now. Eric reached for one and I slapped his hand to get to it first. We glared at each other and winked and grinned before helping ourselves. Gran just shook her head at us and grabbed her own seat.

Truly, Eric and I were doing great. It felt so unlikely things could ever be the same between us seven months ago – at times, late at night after Eric was asleep I'd stare at him for hours, just making sure it was all real. We were really a couple again and first time parents. Perhaps Lukas was a big part of the why we were doing so good at it – but I hoped there was more to it than that. I hoped we were doing this for us.

Gran had been spared knowledge of our near separation and Eric's part in the whole Axel-Felicia deal. But Gran was no fool and I know she suspected things weren't well whenever we spoke before – so, it didn't surprise me when she pulled me aside later to tell me she was happy Eric and I were "seeing eye to eye again". I simply smiled, nodded and said "me too".

Tara came over late in the afternoon to meet Gran and sit with us so she could help us fix our knitting. Gran tried to keep her face from showing how atrocious it was really, bless her heart. We had some girl time while Eric did his time in the kitchen – preparing snacks for everybody. I could hear him on the phone multiple times and wondered at who he was talking to. But since I was busy with Gran and knitting, I never got to ask him.

Apparently, Gran had a soothing effect on most younger females. Tara was as calm as she had ever been that afternoon, even though she was visibly in pain a lot of the time. She had been having a bit of a difficult last trimester and Lorena had given her quite a list of do's and don'ts to go with it, which didn't improve her mood at all.

The three of us had been happily distracted when Eric brought our snacks and surveyed what we had been doing. He looked impressed at how having Gran with us improved the work – but he kept from commenting, which was probably safer. Not because of me, but, I'm sure Tara would kill him.

"So, are we ordering pizza tonight, or what?" Eric asked randomly after he was done looking at our stuff.

"Yeah, it's probably the best idea. There will be plenty of cooking going on tomorrow," I said.

"Oh, I don't get good pizza in Bon Temps. This will be nice!" Gran said happily as she kept knitting away like a pro, Tara watching her with her mouth hanging open, trying to emulate her.

Eric sat on the floor, next to my arm chair and ate all my cookies for me while I tried finishing at least one of the dozen pieces of baby clothing I had started. Gran was randomly talking about people back home and church. It was a nice afternoon that I wish we could repeat more often. I missed having Gran near me.

Before we knew it, it was night and we all looked up in surprise when the doorbell rang.

"It must be Jason…" I said, sitting up.

Eric was already on his feet heading for the door. I craned my neck to watch as he pulled the door open. There was Amy with a backpack on her right shoulder and a sheepish smile on her pretty face.

"Hey, Eric!"

"Amy, how was the road?" Eric asked, relieving her of the heavy backpack and stepping aside to let her in.

"Oh, it was kind of dreadful…" Amy said wringing her hands as she walked in. "Hey girls!" she waved at us.

"What happened?" I asked her, frowning.

"Well… our car broke down," she sighed, still wringing her hands. "Jason had to call for help."

"Oh?"

"Jesus Christ what's wrong with your A.C. in that elevator?" Jason said loudly as he came through the door with his own backpack. "It's freezing! You should call your super!" he dropped the bag on the floor unceremoniously. "Hey Eric! Sis! Granny! Other… pregnant lady." Tara snorted.

"Your car?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, we had to have it fucking towed!" Jason then seemed to remember something. "About that, we kind of brought an extra!" Jason pointed over his shoulder just as I saw the towering shape of Alcide sauntering into the apartment behind him. His eyes landing straight on me, he smiled and nodded at me. "He had to drive us so we tried to convince him to celebrate Thanksgiving with us."

I gaped at my brother and then looked over at Amy who was begging me forgiveness with her eyes, her shoulders drawn in. Alcide looked completely clueless, smiling and nodding at everyone, neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Eric looked… well he looked like somebody had just pissed on his tree.

Fucking Jason.

xxxxxx


	18. Chapter 18

xxxxxx

**SPOV - 5 months earlier**

This pregnancy thing was starting to mess with my hand coordination. Apparently being pregnant rendered my jam jar-opening skills useless. I had been grabbing and twisting at that cap for a while, nearly panting with the effort, clenching my teeth angrily. Suddenly a pair of strong, tanned arms came around me and pried my hands away from the jar and, still holding it in front of me, simply twisted it and separated cap and jar.

"Thanks," I said sheepishly as I grabbed the jar from the proffered hand and twisted around between those arms to face their owner. "Morning, Alcide."

Alcide grinned and walked around me to get to the coffee pot. I made my way to the counter and started spreading strawberry jam over my toast. I tried to keep my eyes down while my guest helped himself around my kitchen. Every morning we would do this routine and I would ask myself over and over again what the hell I was doing. After we separated and went about our separate business I did what I did best, filed all that away for later and just didn't think about it. But the 30 to 40 minutes it took us to have breakfast were usually pretty tense - at least for me.

"It must be killing you not to drink any coffee," Alcide had turned around and leaned back against the sink to watch me, a steaming cup in one of his hands.

I shrugged even as I inhaled that delicious aroma jealously. "It's not that bad."

Alcide snorted disbelievingly, forcing me to look up from my toast. "You drank a dozen of these a day back when we used to work together."

I smiled and nodded. "Well yeah. But it's just something about being a mom I think - it doesn't feel like that much of a sacrifice now."

Alcide shrugged, washed and rinsed his cup before putting it away and turned back to me. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Tonight?" I raised my eyebrows curiously.

"It's Friday night!"

"Oh!" I thought about it and shrugged. "Staying in I guess. How about you, do you have any plans?" I bit into my toast.

Alcide narrowed his eyes a little as he thought about it. "Well, yeah I do. Don't worry about dinner tonight. Leave that to me," he winked and pushed away from the sink. "Tonight's gonna be on me!" he said mysteriously before he walked out of the kitchen.

The idea of having company again on a Friday night was nice - but it sounded awfully like a date and I couldn't help the guilt that surfaced. No matter what I said to Eric when he left, we were still legally married and we still needed to have that final conversation. I tried to shrug it all off as I bit into my toast again - like every day after Alcide left that week, I just put all those tormenting thoughts in a box to be opened later.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

I couldn't quite blame Jason. My brother was as clueless as they come and he had never grasped the subtext of Alcide's short stay in my apartment. Definitely not in the way it made it extremely embarrassing for him to be here right now. I had hoped Alcide would know better though – what was he thinking? Gran made a fuss of getting everyone situated and it distracted me from facing Eric for a while. We put all of their stuff in the nursery and made sure to grab pillows and blankets for later. Alcide wasn't really planning to stay, it turned out. As I was grabbing him a clean set of blankets he leaned over and said he would be driving to Bon Temps, to his sister's for celebration, even though Jason insisted he could stay. Well perhaps Alcide had a little more sense after all…

Tara decided to take her leave then and let everyone get settled. She shot me a curious look as I walked her to the door and I just shrunk my shoulders, not saying anything. I guessed Lafayette must have told her about him. As I turned around from closing the door Eric was behind me, eyebrows arched, jaw set.

I put out a hand pleadingly. "I know it's awkward but…"

"Awkward?" Eric seethed. "Sookie this isn't awkward, this is just an insult."

"You want me to kick him out? Eric, he's my brother's business partner, who _just_ drove both him and Amy over so they wouldn't get stuck home for the holiday!"

"He was just giving them a ride on his way to Bon Temps!" Eric pointed out. "Asshole's sleeping here? He _wants_ to piss me off!"

"Excuse me…" Amy was coming over and we stopped, trying to recompose ourselves. I could see Jason, Gran and Alcide talking in the kitchen. "Is there anything you guys need help with? Dinner?"

"Oh, no," I said with a nervous smile, happy to have something else o focus on. "We're just ordering pizza tonight."

"OK!" Amy looked nervously between Eric and me. "If you need _anything_…"

"Hey Amy, come tell Gran that story about your cousin!" Jason shouted from the kitchen.

Amy just smiled almost as nervously as I had before turning around to go do just that. I looked back to find Eric was no longer looking at me. His eyes were somewhere in the air and he didn't look happy.

"Eric, don't be difficult…" I pleaded. "It's just until tomorrow morning!"

He looked at me with an unreadable expression while he took a deep breath. He cast one fleeting glance at the kitchen doorway where laughter was coming from before turning to grab his jacket and his keys.

"Where are you going?" I panicked.

"I'll go get our pizza," he said, his voice neutral.

"But… we have a phone…" I argued.

"I could use the exercise," he said as he pulled the door open. "Just text me what toppings everyone's going to want or I'll call once I get there," he said moving out into the hall.

"Eric, please don't get mad at me over this…" I followed him to the elevator. "I told you nothing ever happened!"

"But it could have," Eric punched, rather than pressed the elevator call button and I flinched. "Look, I'm not mad it just… it stings Sookie. Just let me go and cool off."

I sighed, and I wanted to argue more because I didn't believe for a second he wasn't mad but the elevator dinged just then and the doors slid open and I had to just watch Eric get inside and hope for the best. He avoided my eyes until the doors were closed.

Fucking great! Fucking perfect, really! That's just what I needed on Thanksgiving!

"Sook?" Amy stepped outside, clicking the door shut behind her. "Is Eric upset?"

"Little bit," I mumbled.

Amy made a face. "I'm so sorry. I tried to give your brother a hint, but you know how daft he can be."

I snorted. "It's OK Amy. It's my fault really."

"He's gonna get over it," Amy rubbed my arms encouragingly. "We just can't let Gran pick up on the weirdness…"

I rolled my eyes hopelessly. "Are you kidding me? That woman has eyes like a hawk!"

Amy giggled and gave me a half-hug before leading me back inside. Perhaps it was a good thing Amy was here too. Amy had been the one whom, without me telling her, realized where my heart was at when I brought Alcide over. She gently questioned me if I thought it was a good idea and I foolishly dismissed her warning saying I was just helping a friend. Of course it wasn't just that, even if _just that_ was what effectively happened, the intent behind it wasn't entirely pure and the knowing that was enough to taint it. I knew why Eric was so upset by the mere presence of Alcide. He felt betrayed on an emotional level. While we hadn't been right for a long time, I don't think he ever truly saw his life without me, never truly contemplated it. I did, and it hurt him.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I parked outside our favorite pizza place, Novello, and switched off the engine before grabbing my wallet and stepping out of the car. I started making my way up the street, trying to get over my bad mood.

I knew I was risking creating bigger problems between me and Sookie by running off. Running off was my go-to mode. We had been discussing it in the last few weeks, while we slowly patched our relationship back together. I had vowed I would stop running. I would stay and deal with our problems instead. Yet, here I was running off again – at least, this time, I was within driving distance, not across seas. Shit, I hoped that counted for something…

I just couldn't deal with Alcide in our apartment without processing it first. I needed to get out and reason with my inner caveman. There was nothing to protect – Sookie wasn't going to leave me, I knew that. My very pregnant wife wasn't looking to switch husbands, or to have an affair. So what she thought about leaving me months ago? I couldn't quite blame her – I was lucky she took me back in. I was lucky she'd forgiven me for all the crap I pulled…

Fuck… I should really get back home…

My phone rang and I immediately grabbed it, regret surging as I recognized Sookie's ringtone.

"Sookie…"

"_No, dude, it's Jason_!"

"Ah… what's up Jason?" I sighed as I made it through the door into the restaurant.

"_Sookie told me to get through to you so you know what to bring_."

Oh great, she didn't want to speak with me herself. Awesome…

"OK. I'm about to order so shoot."

I listened to Jason's instructions as I made my way to the cashier who waved when he recognized me. I hung up, placed my order and checked my watch. I thought about sending Sookie a quick text letting her know I was coming home soon and I was fine. But she probably would ignore that and it would sting again.

After a short wait I grabbed the 4 pizza boxes and started heading out. I was on the steps leading to the sidewalk when a bright yellow convertible screeched right in front of the restaurant and honked loudly and repeatedly, causing people on the street and in the restaurant to look over to see who was making such a fuss.

"Eric! Eric my man!"

I had to do a double take and I squinted as I stepped across the sidewalk and leaned down to be able to see the man sitting in the car. A smile stretched my lips immediately as I recognized my old buddy Chow Lin.

"Where the fuck did you come from? I was just on the phone with you earlier, you said you were in New Orleans!" I walked over to take his proffered hand in a macho-squeeze before I punched his shoulder.

"I know! I lied!" Chow grinned and he looked me up and down. "I recognized your car back there. Man, you need to upgrade!"

I shrugged. "It's just a car."

"Hand me your man card, Eric," Chow teased. "You have food though, so I'll let you go this time. Hop in, I'll drive you home in style."

"I'm gonna need my car, jackass," I cocked an eyebrow and straightened up, taking a good look at his convertible. "What are you trying to compensate for anyway?"

"You're cruel!" Chow pointed at me with mock seriousness. "Just get into your pitiful vehicle then, I'll follow you home and eat your pizza."

"Fine."

"Think Sookie's gonna be happy to see me?"

"She's gonna be thrilled," I joked as I started stepping back. "Don't get lost, I don't wanna be late."

"Pussy whipped."

"And proud."

xxxxxx

**SPOV – 5 months earlier**

"Did we _really_ go to a _Miss Congeniality_ showing on our first date?" I snorted into my handful of popcorn while Alcide laughed silently beside me, his shoulders shaking.

"Yeah, 'fraid so…" he continued laughing as he grabbed his plastic cup of what was probably now a flat coke. "I guess I figured a chick flick was a sure way to get you to make out with me."

I choked on my own drink and had to dab at my chin with my hand. We settled for a bit, paying attention to the movie, or trying to. Alcide's idea for our Friday night turned out to be an amusing one. He reproduced our first date, back in 2000. The same movie, the same food – we ended up laughing as we reminisced about how disastrous it had turned out to be. The dude on the seat behind us threw up in the middle of the movie and his girlfriend threw a hissy fit in the middle of the theater. All the romance drained right out of us after that and we just giggled through the whole thing. We tried to get in the mood later, in his car but it just didn't happen and both our phones rang. The paper needed us urgently to cover an accident outside Shreveport. Those were the days…

"It's weird thinking about how far we've come, huh?" Alcide said as the movie credits started to roll.

We had an empty bowl of popcorn and several plastic cups between us. We were sitting on the floor, with our backs to the couch and a blanket over our knees. I nodded absent mindedly as I stared blankly at the TV.

"You met Debbie the following year," I remembered.

"And you met Eric the year after," Alcide nodded.

"Yeah…" I sighed.

"Things didn't turn out right for us, did they?" he looked over at me, a resigned look on his face.

I shrugged. "It wasn't all bad."

"Yeah, you got a baby out of it," Alcide reached over to pet my stomach. "You're going to be a great mom."

I laughed. "How can you know that?"

"I just do," he smiled, throwing his head back to rest it on the couch. "And life goes on."

I nodded, mimicking his position. His hand was still on my stomach, stroking lightly and I swallowed. We looked in each other's eyes for a long moment and before I knew it, we were both leaning over, our eyes on each other's lips. We stopped a mere inch from each other and we both hesitated.

I closed my eyes and shuddered, hanging my head while I felt Alcide sighing in front of me. I ran my hand over my face and I could feel him pulling away.

"This would be stupid, I'm sorry," he muttered.

I laughed bitterly into my hands before looking up to face him. "It would very stupid," I agreed. "I'm sorry, Alcide… I don't want you to be my rebound guy. You're a good friend and you deserve better than that."

"Sook," he reached over to move a lock of hair out of my face, but there was nothing flirtatious about the gesture. "I'm guilty here too… Debbie… I just…"

"You're not over her," I finished for him. "I understand."

It was Alcide's turn to laugh bitterly. "Would things have turned out different for us if we'd picked another movie?"

I smiled, knowing what he was getting at but I shook my head. "Probably not."

"Yeah…" Alcide sat up straighter and started collecting the cups. "How about we call it a night and never talk about this again?"

"I'm right behind ya!" I said as pushed myself up onto the couch before I leaned down to grab the popcorn bowl.

xxxxxx

**SPOV **

I tried not to let anyone, especially Gran, realize I was in a bad mood. Fortunately Jason was keeping everyone entertained with his stories and I could just fade into the background as Amy and I got the plates, cutlery and cups ready for dinner. Gran, Alcide and Jason were sitting at the kitchen island while Jason recounted their adventures with their construction firm. Gran seemed fascinated, which led me to believe she didn't get a lot of chances to hear from Jason at all. Amy probably was the one calling on the weekends to check on her and let them know they were alright. Bless Amy.

Alcide seemed to have grasped the lingering tension in the air and, at one point, when I was setting the table in the dining room he followed me there, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish look on his face.

"Did I get you in trouble with Eric?"

I thought about lying, as being a good host dictated. But Alcide was probably better off knowing he might as well be stepping around eggshells for the next few hours so I looked around us to make sure there was no one within hearing distance. "He didn't take well to your standing here while he was away and me not telling him about it."

Alcide nodded. "You told him nothing happened, right?"

"Of course! But… it was the intent that hurt. I wanted to go there with you and leave him for good."

"Yeah, but hey, you didn't!" Alcide soothed. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Hell no!" I hissed. "Just… no thanks. I'll handle him!"

"Hope Eric will be here soon. I'm starving!" Amy said loudly as she came into the living room and Alcide and I immediately stepped away from each other and tried to look casual.

"Yeah, me too!"

Gran and Jason just walked in from the kitchen, Jason's arm around her while they laughed at something they'd been saying. We heard the key turning on the front door and automatically turned towards it.

Eric stepped in carrying four pizza boxes and smiling, no, grinning! My eyebrows went up. He stepped aside and just then my jaw dropped.

"Sookie Wookie! Guess who's back?" Chow Lin had a penchant for big entrances. He stepped inside with his arms stretched out and his creepy toothy grin and crazy eyes aimed at me. He was wearing a navy suit over what looked like a blue silk shirt – he looked smart and handsome and my jaw just kept dropping more. "Come now, give us a kiss!" He walked over to me and lay me a wet one, on the lips.

Well Chow is back then…

xxxxxx


	19. Chapter 19

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

Chow was Eric's best friend from High School. He was half-Chinese and travelled a lot due to his job – which I never really understood. All I knew is that it had to do with imported cars, or imported car parts or something. I hadn't seen him personally in over a year, but he and Eric always made time to catch up between their travels.

It wasn't that I didn't like Chow, but I certainly felt like he could be too much to manage at times. It was like he was 16 again every time he was around Eric – or maybe he was just that way all the time. I didn't really know. But I'd seen other friends of his on occasion and none of them seemed to be as exhausted as I felt after a long period of _Chowxposure_. Eric seemed to juggle him like a pro, and he was never as tired as I was after his visits. Maybe it was a guy thing.

Having him for Thanksgiving wasn't a bad thing – he certainly had the talent to distract Eric from Alcide. After he arrived, Eric barely spared him a contemptuous look. For his part, Alcide steered clear from him, and avoided talking to me too much. It was weird as hell – but we'd brought it upon ourselves.

I was about to load the dishwasher and Amy came up behind me and shooed me off.

"You're _my_ guests!" I protested but I laughed all the same as she pushed me down onto a stool.

"You're also big as a house, let me do this."

"I take offense to that!" I joked.

"Deal with it," Amy winked.

"Hey Sookie, guess what?" Chow asked as he waltzed into the kitchen, hugging three empty beer bottles to him. Eric came in right after him carrying the half-empty pizza boxes. "Eric, your baby and I are going camping."

"Oh, right now?" I teased.

"As soon as he slips out of your…"

"Chow!" Eric slapped Chow on the back of his head. In the past I would have flinched and felt sorry for him and lashed out at Eric for being so rude, but after knowing Chow for years, I knew he had probably the hardest head between Louisiana and Hong Kong. "We don't talk like that when there are girls around."

"Thank you, Eric!" I grinned forcefully before turning back to Chow. "For how long are you staying this time?"

"Ouch!" Chow grabbed at the imaginary arrow stuck to his chest dramatically. "Already tired of me, Sookie Wookie?"

"No, I just need to know for how long I'll have to buy the triple in groceries!" I batted my eyes innocently.

"You are a cruel woman, Sookie!" Chow patted his stomach.

Indeed he had lost a lot of weight and was looking quite dashing. Something occurred to me then and I gasped with hope.

"Oh my God! You have a girlfriend!"

Eric laughed loudly, with his back to me as he got rid of the boxes and I looked between the two men, disappointed. Chow was shaking his head at me.

"Sookie, when will you learn? Chow doesn't date. Chow loves and leaves."

I rolled my eyes. "Chow eats the entire contents of women's fridges and then gets kicked out."

Eric laughed again and Chow just narrowed his eyes at me, but he was amused.

"Oh what are the boys doing in here?" Gran shuffled in, carrying what was left of dessert. "Shoo both of you, you take up too much space!" she stopped beside Chow and patted his stomach. "You _are_ working that out though, dear, aren't you? Good for you."

The entire kitchen burst into laughter and Chow grinned admiringly at Gran. He hugged her and she kissed his cheek jovially. Eric and Chow eventually left us alone so we could finish putting everything back in place so we would have an organized kitchen for tomorrow.

Chow was already bidding everyone good night when we made it back into the living room and he gave me a warm, fierce hug that actually melted my heart a little, especially when he said he had been so happy when he heard about the baby. Chow could be really sweet when he wanted to. He promised to come back for the celebration tomorrow and left.

I let Eric walk Chow to the elevator and turned to watch as Jason and Alcide started moving the couch, armchairs and center table so they could work their sleeping arrangements. Gran helped Amy bringing them linen and extra pillows. Amy would share the air mattress with Gran.

"So how are Janice and the kids doing?" I asked Alcide as I handed him a quilt to add to his makeshift bed.

"Thanks. They're all good. She's been asking about you. She's rooting for you and your baby."

I smiled, thinking of Janice. I had sent her invitation to the baby shower, but I knew she probably wouldn't make time to drive from Bon Temps with a 4-year-old and a newborn to look after. She had called to let me know she appreciated being remembered though – we hadn't had much time to play catch up because Layla was screaming in the background and the baby needed feeding.

"You make sure to tell her I said hello," I smiled fondly.

"Sure," Alcide looked up as the front door opened and Eric was back in. Both men stared at each other briefly. "Look I'll get out of here tomorrow at its earliest," he told me. "I don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have."

My eyes were on Eric as I nodded. My sweet husband simply ignored us both as he tossed his keys on the table and joined Gran and Amy by the dining table where they were talking in hushed tones.

"Do you girls have everything you need for tonight?" I heard him asking them gently.

"Oh, Eric, could you teach Amy how to work the hot water in the guest bathroom? I'm not sure I even got it right last time myself!" Gran asked.

"Sure, no problem," Eric nodded at Amy and she followed him out towards the hallway.

"Sook, gimme that backpack behind ya," Jason asked me as he finished fixing his bed.

I turned around and grabbed it before passing it on to him. "Well, if you boys are all set I'll bid you goodnight and help Gran."

"Sure. Good night, Sook," Jason muttered distractedly.

"Night," Alcide waved as I stepped back. "Happy Thanksgiving."

I followed Gran into the nursery to help her fix the air mattress. We worked in silence but I could feel her eyes on me.

"What?" I asked with a sigh as we finished tucking the bed sheets.

Gran gave me a look. "Now watch that tone, young lady!"

I flushed, immediately feeling like a 10-year-old. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Your Eric was a bit cold towards your friend Alcide and I was wondering why?" she was always to the point – smart woman.

"Eric is stupid," I folded my arms under my chest defensively. "He has some macho-jealous thing with him, that's all. It will go away in the morning when Alcide's gone."

"Mmmm," Gran nodded thoughtfully. "Does this have anything to do with that time you let him stay here with you while Eric was away?"

Damn she's way too quick.

"Yes," I admitted reluctantly.

Gran looked disapproving. "Sookie Stackhouse, did you not talk with your husband before inviting a man into your house?"

"I was mad at him!" I said defensively. "We already talked about it anyways. He's just being a baby about it."

Gran walked over to me and cupped my face between her hands. "Men always are, Sookie. But you have to learn how to counter it the smart way. The both of you barely looked at each other tonight."

I sighed deflatedly and nodded, mumbling. "Yeah I know."

"I raised a smart woman now, did I not?"

"A stubborn one at best, Gran," I rolled my eyes laughing.

"Yes…" Gran nodded gravely. "Well that was _all_ Earl's side of the family."

It was a while before Eric joined me in our bedroom and I was pretending to read my book while nervously chewing my lip and thinking about what Gran said. I had to do a bit of thinking while I waited and I had come to the conclusion making this better was up to me. It was just going to take me a little courage to admit it.

I silently watched as Eric closed the door and started getting ready for bed. He looked at me briefly but avoided my eyes the rest of the time.

"I hope it's OK Chow's coming for Thanksgiving," he said unexpectedly after he tossed his clothes in the hamper and came walking to the bed. "I didn't want him to be alone when he just got back."

I shook my head vehemently. "It's OK. Despite appearances, I do like Chow."

Eric grinned at that and pulled the covers to get into bed. Once he did, I put my book away and turned to him. He had lain down already, but seeing the look on my face he arched his eyebrows questioningly.

"I want to talk."

"OK," Eric pushed himself up and leaned back against the headboard, watching me almost warily. "What's up?"

I took a deep breath and pulled my big-girl pants on. "I don't think I ever truly apologized for what went on with Alcide. I acknowledged it, but I never said I was sorry. Well here it goes: I _am_ sorry for betraying you like that. I was deeply hurt and angry but you were still my husband and I actively sought out some pseudo-relationship to get back at you. Will you forgive me?"

Eric looked taken aback and surprised – but mostly, he looked hurt. I guess I just had been too arrogant in my feelings of being wronged by him to see or admit I'd wronged him too. I had acted almost as if I was entitled a little mischief because _he_ deserved it. But he didn't.

So I sat there, suddenly scared he would _not_ forgive me. He looked at the space between us for a moment and finally looked up. "You know I will." I let out the breath I'd been holding but kept my wide eyes on his, waiting for him to finish. "I just didn't think you really understood what you'd done and I… well I held on to it because of that."

"I _do_ understand," I said hurriedly. "Eric, I don't want anyone else, and I'll never strike at you like this again. I promise you."

Eric reached over to cradle the back of my head and touched his forehead to mine. "I know."

"And I won't see him ever again if you ask me to."

To my surprise, Eric shook his head. "I don't need that from you. I trust you."

I cuddled into his chest and was relieved when he embraced me and pulled me down to lie with him. The coldness and distance from earlier was gone and relief washed through me.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

Thanksgiving Day at home was a different experience. We usually drove to Bon Temps to stay with Adele. If we learned one thing from the experience, was that our apartment was too damn small for our family and friends. Sookie, Adele, Amy and Tara were already in the kitchen working when I got up, and they managed to fill every inch of it. Two of those women being pregnant meant there were 6 people in there already. Jason was packing all of their stuff in the living room and I found out Alcide had already left. At least that fucker knew he was unwelcome. I may have told Sookie I didn't need her to be away from him, but I sure as hell needed him to stay away from her.

Lafayette and Alejandro soon joined the women and Jason and I were given the task of fixing the table and making room for everybody. We had to move some furniture and unfold the extendable dining table. Lafayette and Alejandro had already brought the extra chairs.

"So, uhm... it's done," I said as I peeked inside the kitchen. "What else can we do?"

Lafayette looked at me and pointed at the kitchen island with a wooden spoon. "Get those plates and cutlery out there."

"Yes, and get the glasses from the cupboard?" Sookie shot over her shoulder by the oven. "Thanks baby!"

I nodded and then paused. "The tall ones with the flowers?"

"No baby, the chubby ones, they're blue. You know, the ones your mom got us."

"Ah... OK," I got the pile of plates to get started.

"Thank you, baby!" Tara shouted as I left the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes as they all chuckled. Women... when they're flocked they can be such a nuisance. And speaking of women, soon there were more of them. Mom and Pam arrived and mom somehow managed to cram herself into our kitchen while Pam felt more comfortable hanging with me while I folded napkins for the table. Jason made himself scarce and I suspect he had skipped to the nursery for a nap.

"So Dad decided not to come?" I asked as I tossed her some of the napkins. "Make yourself useful."

"Mother talked him into spending the day with his bastard," Pam said as she pretended to help.

"Don't call her that," I shot her a look which she ignored. "Her name is Jessica."

Pam rolled her eyes. "Don't get so hackled. She's not here to hear me."

"I am," I reminded her.

"Well if you want to play the big brother, that's your problem."

I shook my head. "You're an idiot."

"You're a pushover."

I glared at her and grabbed the napkins back. "You're doing it all wrong."

Pam laughed. "Let me see your panties, brother. I don't think you sound gay enough."

"Ooh, who's gay?" Lafayette was suddenly at the table bringing the salad.

"Eric," Pam grinned.

"Oh, finally!" Lafayette narrowed his heavily made-up eyes at me. "Lawd knows I've been praying!"

Pam snickered and I just rolled my eyes at the pair of them before leaving them to go hunt Jason down. I found him in the nursery, juggling two stuffed bears by the crib. I raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned, tossing them back into it.

"What's up, bro?"

"We ran out of beer last night. Let's go get us some more."

"Too girly out there, huh?" Jason waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah, it's too girly in here too. Come on."

We were just walking out onto the lobby from the elevator when Chow came through the door. Again a navy blue suit and lilac shirt (don't ask).

"Hey, we ducking out already?" He grinned.

"We need refills," Jason told him.

"Oh, good. Well let's go in my car then!" Chow offered.

"Nice!" Jason beamed excitedly.

We made it to the sidewalk and Jason whistled immediately. He'd guessed which car was Chow's without having to ask.

"Is that a Mustang?"

"Yep!" Chow dangled his keys in front of Jason's nose. "Would you like to drive?" Jason didn't have to be asked twice. He snagged the keys from Chow and got a head start. Chow turned to me grinning. "He's such a little boy isn't he?"

"Figuratively or literally?" I watched my brother-in-law racing to the car.

"Well that means you've had good practice, huh?" Chow patted my back encouragingly. "For when Lukas comes along."

I smiled, thoughts of my son immediately brightening my thoughts. Oh shit, I thought, watching Jason. Lukas was going to have Jason for an uncle.

"So you really gonna write that book?" Chow asked with a teasing look.

We were both sitting in the back sit of the Mustang while Jason drove alone in the front - the top was up and we were trying to ignore Jason's rendition of "_Born to Be Wild_", which he had been performing for about 8 minutes.

"Yep," I admitted, keeping my eyes on the road so I wouldn't feel like punching that grin out of Chow's face.

Chow paused for a moment before he leaned over to whisper. "Is there going to be any sex in it?"

I had to look at him then, a perplexed expression on my face. Chow just burst into laughter before I could say anything and I just rolled my eyes.

"I forgot how juvenile you can be."

"Now you sounded like your wife!" Chow snorted.

"He does sound like her at times, don't he?" Jason suddenly stopped singing to offer his input. I just ignored him too. "At least he does after he been home a while. Not straight after he comes back though."

"Ain't that the truth?" Chow nodded, mocking Jason's accent. "Speaking of which," he looked at me again. "Where are you going next?"

"I'm not going anywhere for a long time," I said, aware of Jason watching me through the rearview mirror.

"Ah, Sookie's put you line at last?" Chow chuckled. "Took her long enough!"

We got our beer and some other things for snacks Sookie asked me to get since I was going out and we drove back. Jason was very reluctant to part with Chow's car, but we finally pried his hands from the steering wheel.

We were just walking back into the lobby when my phone rang. I forgot to check for the caller I.D. before I picked up.

"Yeah?"

"_Happy Thanksgiving big brother!_"

"Oh! Hey Jess. Happy Thanksgiving to you too." I stopped to wait for the elevator. Jason arched his eyebrows at me but Chow had no reaction. I had never told him about Felicia and Jessica. "How are you doing today?"

"_Daddy's here and mommy made turkey_! _I don't have to go to school today!"_

"Yeah, I know. Isn't that great?"

"_Uh huh! I told mommy we should have Thanksgiving more often!_/_"_

Oh hell no, my apartment couldn't handle another Thanksgiving Day. Jessica continued babbling for a while - the conversation lasted all through the elevator ride. I stopped in the hall outside the apartment and nodded for Chow and Jason to go ahead while I finished. Jessica kept talking a bit about what she'd learned at school before she told me she wished I was there too. I sighed and tried to appease her - Thanksgiving, or just any other holiday with her just would never be possible. I tried to get her to focus on how fun it was that her dad was there - it was then she dropped me a bomb when she happily screeched: "_Mommy and Daddy are getting married! Can you come then?_"

Food was already on the table when I finally came inside and most people didn't even see me come in as they were busy talking each other's ears out. But mother saw me and looked up from her place where she was fixing the turkey in the middle of the table and smiled. I couldn't help it - I walked over to her and I pulled her to me, engulfing her in my arms. She hugged me back and smiled up at me, confused but pleased all the same. She patted my cheeks and I let her go after kissing the crown of her head.

"What's gotten into you?" she smiled at me and I just shrugged, not really wanting to say anything.

"Alright bitches, time to give thanks so we can eats that motherfucker!" Lafayette announced as he brought the wine from the kitchen.

"Language Lafayette, we have company!" Tara slapped the top of her cousin's head.

"I forgive you your quick hand because of you current state. But hookah, don't ever touch my head again!"

"Hey, what was that about?" Sookie came up behind me, her fingers hooking into my belt.

I turned around to throw an arm around her and kissed the top of her head as well. "I'll tell you later."

"Eric, you have to do the honors!" mother said pointing at the turkey.

"Right!" I said, trying to snap out of my funk. "Let's do this."

xxxxxxx


	20. Chapter 20

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

So Thanksgiving wasn't too bad. I was slightly disappointed Axel hadn't come - but I guess it was time to give up on the hope my father-in-law and mother-in-law would ever reconcile. They were past that point and Helen, while forgiving, wasn't that forgiving. But it seemed Pam was always in a better mood if Axel wasn't around. She spent a whole lot of the day hanging to her phone and was completely useless, but, at least, she was there. Even Chow being there was a good thing - his personality required a lot of attention, and I think he distracted everyone from the fact the Northmans were missing a person.

Later that day Eric told me what had upset him just before we sat down to eat and I thought it was very strange. Axel was about to give Felicia the proverbial boot just before his heart attack - now he was going to marry her? There was just something wrong with that story and I told Eric as much. He said he'd just ask him when he got the chance - maybe his little sister had gotten the wrong idea somehow - she was only five after all.

Jason and Amy stuck around until Saturday afternoon and Eric offered to drive them home. It gave Gran and me more than a few hours of girl time. We sat in the living room to watch Golden Girls and we had a quiet, pleasant afternoon. At least until Pam decided to show up, looking like shit was about to hit the fan. Gran and I exchanged a look before I decided to take Pam to my bedroom and live Gran alone with the TV.

"Pam, whatever this is about, you better tell me gently because your nephew is giving me a hell of a time today," I told Pam as I carefully sat down at the foot of the bed, my back was really killing me and Lukas was kicking up a storm inside me.

Pam just stood in front of me, looking tense. She was impeccably fabulous as usual, but there was a certain air of desperation about her that was so unlike her.

"Where's Eric?" Pam looked around, apparently expecting me to have been keeping him locked up in our room.

"Driving Jason and Amy to New Orleans. Pam, what's up?"

"Sookie..." Pam wrung her hands nervously. "I'm in love."

I gaped at her momentarily speechless. "That's uhm... that's... terrible?" I wasn't sure what emotion I should be going for, to be honest - her state was throwing me off.

"She's married," Pam confessed as she plunked on the bed next to me, causing me to bounce slightly and flinch at the sudden sting in my lower back. "Sorry!" Pam said hurriedly, rubbing my back awkwardly.

"Oh Pam, that's a no no!" I told her when I recovered. "Not only that is wrong, but it can get messy! You don't want messy!"

"Oh, it's not like that!" Pam waved me away and stood up to pace in front of me. "They have an open marriage."

At first, I had a sort of non-reaction, but then something clicked and my jaw dropped. "Oh, Pam no! You are not talking about Lorena! You are not having threesomes with my OBGYN and Eric's Publisher! Just... no!"

"Ew!" Pam glared at me. "I wouldn't touch that man with a ten foot pole!"

I closed my eyes and pressed thumb and forefinger to the bridge of my nose - suddenly feeling a migraine coming.

"OK so... at the risk of being completely grossed out here, I have to ask: what are you doing?"

"Nothing you prude! It's not like that!" Pam sat back down. "We were just hanging out! We get along well! Too well. But I hate her husband."

"What's wrong with him?" I frowned. I barely had gotten too much of a feel for him at Claudine's party - he was a bit sullen-looking and seemed to be having a conversation with my boobs half the time, but then again, a lot of people seemed to be doing that lately - it's the pregnancy boobs. Eric seemed a bit neutral in regards to him, but Eric didn't make friends easily.

"He has a penis!" Pam said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You know, they're not that bad if they're wielded properly!" I said just to tease her.

"Oh, Sookie I'm being serious here!" Pam slapped her palms to her thighs in exasperation.

"I'm not sure what you want from me here Pam," I said honestly. "Are you looking for me to talk you out of being in love? You know that's not possible. I couldn't for the life of me imagine myself doing that, but, have you considered having a relationship with her... since she has ... you know... an open marriage and all." God that concept was bizarre.

"Are you kidding me? I don't share! Least of all with a sperm shooter!"

I had to snort at that, but Pam just glared at me. "I'm sorry it's just... your vocabulary always delights me."

" . ?" Pam asked, grabbing my arms for emphasis.

I sighed and I looked straight into her eyes. Alright, it was time for tough love. "You're going to have to let it go." She pouted at me. "They'll accommodate people willing to put up with their... contract or whatever. If you're not up to it, you have to let go."

Pam sighed. "Why did you have to have such a hot OBGYN, Sookie?"

"I have certain requirements," I deadpanned.

"Of course you do."

"You should see what my dentist looks like."

"Oh shut up!"

"Hey, at least she's single!"

"I hate you Sookie!" Pam mumbled, getting up.

"Let it go Pam!" I shouted at her as she left the room.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV - April 2012 – 8 months earlier**

I had been home for six months, and already I felt an itching to get on a plane again. That itch had more and more to do with needing to be away from home than with the job itself. I don't think I was aware of it then. I'd hit Russell's number a couple of times and he'd let me know what was in the program. Somalia seemed to be the most likely destination. My cell phone buzzed in the middle of one of Claudine's parties and I was content to have an excuse to duck out of another boring conversation with those editorial people. It was a text from Russell's assistant, letting me know I had to apply in two week's time to be accepted into the program. He had sent me the details via e-mail, but I'd have to check those later.

"Oh, Eric!" Claudine waved me over when I came back through the balcony door. "Who was that woman we met on that ski trip when we were younger? The one who said she owned an alpaca farm?"

"Trudy... Something..." I said walking past the little group of middle-aged people Claudine was always surrounding herself with.

"Trudy Reznnor!" I heard Claudine declare loudly as I walked away. "She had the most amazing collection..."

The alpaca farm story was Claudine and Pam's idea of a party prank. Something they had come up with when we were still fresh out of high school. Whenever they were bored at one of our parent's parties, which there used to be a lot of back then, one of us would come up with the alpaca farm story - the farfetched tale of a woman named Trudy who we met on a ski trip (that never happened) who owned an alpaca farm in South America and a collection of Northwestern Amazonian Shrunken Heads, all gifts from her late husband, the famous boar hunter. The idea was to keep embellishing the story and see how long it took for people to realize we were talking out of our asses. Claudine was particularly good at it; I don't think anyone ever doubted her. I was mildly surprised she still used it to this day; this was her crowd after all.

But I didn't really have the patience to stay and appreciate what I was sure would be another convincing performance, so I waded my way through the small clusters of people until I saw Sookie sitting on a couch with two of her co-workers. I could only remember the name of one of them, Cindy - I remembered her because four months ago she threw a baby shower and Sookie had had a mini meltdown about it. I caught her crying in the bathroom, clutching the bag of diapers and the baby powder she had gotten for her. I had tried to get her to talk about it, but she insisted it had something to do with her period.

"I wasn't sure I was going to make it," Cindy was saying while clutching her boyfriend's hand in what looked like quite the death-grip while he sat mutely beside her. "We couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice. But Riley," and she gave his hand a little shake and looked over her shoulder at him as she referenced him. "Well Riley's cousin Mona was in town so..."

I tuned her out, nodding at Riley who shot me a "you here too bro?" look. I took my seat next to Sookie and slid my hand through hers and gave her a little nudge, but she ignored me. I guess we weren't getting out of here anytime soon. I just wanted to go home and sleep. I had done so many hours at the University that week I was almost never home before midnight. I had wanted to stay home, thinking I deserved a little rest on Friday night, but Sookie had looked murderous when it looked like I was going to make her go to Claudine's by herself.

I sat back, resigned, holding her hand in mine and toying with her fingers while I checked my phone for something to distract me. She looked over her shoulder at me, casting a reproachful look at my phone but I let it go. They were her friends; I was just arm candy dammit.

To my surprise, my phone buzzed and I checked the new text message. I groaned – it was from Felicia. I sent it to trash and ignored it. If she couldn't find my father she was going to have to keep trying – I wasn't his god damned GPS unit. He was in France; she knew that, she had to learn to leave me alone. A short time later, the phone actually rang, and, though I wasn't stupid enough to put her name on my phone-book, I recognized her damn number. I sighed.

"Sorry, I have to take this," I said before heading to the balcony again. "What?"

"_I'm sorry to bother you like this…_"

Yes, her calls always started like this.

"…_but I can't get through to him. I need him, it's important._"

I sighed. "Is there something wrong with Jessica?" I suddenly caught Claudine's eyes on me from near the entryway and looked away, lowering my voice. "What happened?" I hoped it wasn't anything too serious, I couldn't take the time, or find an excuse, to go driving to New Orleans right now. Father moved them back there in 2010 – which was probably a good idea.

"_Eric… you just tell him to call me. I know he'll answer to your calls. You tell him that if he doesn't stop what he's doing I'm going to make him regret fucking with me!_"

I blinked repeatedly, completely taken a back. "What are you talking about?"

"_Just do it, Eric, please. For your sister._"

She hung up. What the fuck had just happened?

"Hey, I'm ready to go," Sookie appeared all of the sudden, already in her coat and tossing me mine.

I barely registered her annoyed look before I caught my coat and she was gone back inside. I sighed, stowed my phone away and followed her out after saying goodbye to Claudine. We were already in the car driving home when she suddenly spoke up.

"It wasn't too bad, was it?"

"What, the party?" I looked at her briefly. "No, of course not."

"I know you didn't want to come." Sookie pointed out.

"Well…"

"But coming alone would have sucked."

"I know…"

"Claudine likes when you come anyway."

"I know."

"Your phone kept you busy though," there was that slightly condemning tone to her voice.

"I'll switch it off next time, is that fine with you madam?" I said with my eyes on the road.

"Hey don't sass me!" Sookie gasped.

I rolled my eyes gripping the wheel tighter. "Fine. I'm sorry."

We were quiet for a while longer. "So… tomorrow's our anniversary," Sookie said quietly.

Oh fuck, shit….

"I know." Was it? What the hell how could I forget? "Nine years." At least I knew _that_.

"Are we going to do something to celebrate or…"

"Of course we are!" I interrupted her.

Sookie shrugged. "Fine. What are we going to do?"

Her passive aggressiveness was starting to get on my nerves. I thought for a second.

"Dinner at that new place you like near the Air Strip?"

Sookie considered the suggestion. "The one with the fish pond outside?"

"Yeah, what's it called?"

"Kepler?"

"Something like that. So… what do you think?" I looked away from the road momentarily to check her, her own eyes were a bit distant and then she finally shrugged again – but this time it was out of pure resignation and I rolled my shoulders back to relieve the tension. "Seafood it is."

I hoped we would make it to our tenth – lately, I just wasn't sure we would.

xxxxxxx


	21. Chapter 21

xxxxxx

**EPOV**

The day of the baby shower I was kicked out of the apartment and told to "be somewhere else" until evening. So I ended up at Brigant's Free Clinic since I had already covered all my hours at the hospital for the week. I was happy with the Clinic, I had managed to get approval for some minor improvements and chances were, with the book deal, the Hospital would feel forced to accept more of my recommendations. Residents made good volunteers and the hours they put in at the Clinic counted for them in a big way, so everybody was happy.

"You do realize you saved a dying branch of this Hospital?" Crystal was telling me as she ate a ham sandwich in the recreation room in the back where we both were just kicking our feet up for a bit. I sat on the couch and she sat on the edge of the table. "Did Steve ever tell you how hard he had to fight to keep this working for the last two years?" she continued, swinging her feet back and forth in a hypnotizing kind of way.

"No, he didn't," I said following her feet with my eyes. "Steve doesn't like to brag."

"Well he was happy you were here to take the matters out of his hands. You make sure to mention that on your wedding speech."

I blinked to clear out of my tiny-feet induced trance and looked up at her. "Oh crap, I have to do a speech!"

Crystal cackled and nodded. "Forgot about that champ?"

"Oh that's just..." I sat further back on the couch. "Worse than being class president."

Crystal paused in mid-bite. "You were class president?"

"Only because 70% of the class was female."

We both looked towards the door to see Chow standing there. He was in one of the new fancy suits he seemed fond of - and his shirt, color me amused, made him look like an eggplant. Crystal glanced at him curiously before shooting me an inquiring look.

"Crystal Norris, Chow Ling," I motioned towards one and the other. "How the hell did you get here?"

"Hi, nice to meet ya, Mr. Ling," Crystal nodded politely.

"_Doctor_ Ling," Chow said magnanimously as he stepped inside closing the button of his jacket.

"Are you a doctor then?" Crystal asked.

"No, I just don't like feeling left out."

Crystal laughed and that was her mistake, Chow was immediately putting on the smolder. "And what did he say your name was again?" he stretched out his hand for her.

"I'm Crystal," she took his hand to give it a shake and acted surprised when Chow turned up her hand to kiss in instead. "O-kay..." she looked at me with the most comical expression on her face."Eric, this one's different."

"The correct term for that is e_special_, Crystal," I said, making quotation marks in the air with my hands.

"Hey! I resent that!" Chow pointed at me while Crystal giggled. "Don't you believe anything he tells you about me." he told Crystal. "Most of it is true, but..." Crystal laughed again. "We don't want you to get the wrong impression."

Oh poor Crystal, I thought as I took a drink from my water. Should I warn her about Chow or would that be disloyalty? I liked Crystal though; I should better warn him about her then.

"So what are you doing here anyway?" I asked to interrupt his smolder.

Chow looked away from Crystal as if he'd just remembered why he'd come here. "Oh yes! Sookie told me you would be alone and brooding. So I came by to convince you to check my new apartment," he turned to Crystal. "I've just moved back in - had to find myself the perfect bachelor pad, understand?"

"Please, tell me you didn't crash Sookie's baby shower."

"Crash?" Chow looked offended. "No, no! They invited me, let me stay for a half hour, they fed me these tiny things with mayonnaise in them, _delicious_!"

"I hate you."

"You love me!"

"I'm going to leave this scene of man love and go back to work!" Crystal tossed the foil wrap of her finished sandwich in the trash can. "It was nice to meet you _Doctor_."

"My pleasure!" Chow bowed to her making me roll my eyes.

As soon as she was out I stood and pointed my finger at him. "No."

"What?"

"I like Crystal. So don't."

"Eric, that only applies to Pam, you can't veto-it if it's not Pam."

"Pam would turn you inside out and hang you by your balls if you as much as looked at her funny."

"True..."

"Look, I still want to do a couple things here since I came over. Do you want to wait for me at the cafeteria?"

"Sure, are there more nurses there?" he waggled his eyebrows.

"If you're lucky. Move, and stay away from Crystal."

"Vetoes are for sisters!" Chow claimed as he left the room.

I was going to have problems with that one. I took care of some paper work that had been piling up during the week, saw a couple of patients and checked in with Steve before I left. Steve was surprised to hear Chow was in town so he came along with me to say hello. Steve invited him to the wedding and Chow was more than happy to go. They always had gotten along from the moment they met - but Chow got along with everyone it seemed.

Chow's new apartment was what it could be expected - sophisticated and smelling like new car. Apparently he was planning to keep an office in town, and get new representation for business trips.

"Who'd have thought, eh?" Chow said as he opened a bottle of wine from his built-in bar, I sat on a stool across from him. "You and I finally making permanent camp." He offered me a glass.

"I know why I'm doing it, why are you? Do you feel old or something?" I teased.

Chow snorted. "Old! Nah. I just want to have a place to call home again, you know?"

I shrugged. "I know."

"So, how close did it come to divorce then?" Chow asked tactfully as he took a seat.

I raised my eyebrows at him and he shrugged. "I may have spoken to your mother."

"Too damn close," I spun the wine glass around, not really drinking any. "Did she tell you about my Dad?"

Chow flinched in response and I nodded. "Well, that was part of the reason I guess - it just put too much pressure on me and I, well I guess I changed."

"Did you go Spiderman 3 on her?" Chow nodded already drawing his own conclusions.

I frowned for a moment before I rolled my eyes at him. "Saddest analogy I have ever heard."

"Well she was horribly depressed about the miscarriage too; she probably became her own emo Spiderman."

"Stop talking about Spiderman!" I shook my head.

Chow chuckled and took a sip of his wine. "Hey what matters is little Lukas brought you back together, eh?"

"Children can't save marriages, Chow," I pointed out.

"No, but it forced you both to take the first step!" he said confidently.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you quoting my mother?"

"Is that plagiarism?" he wondered.

"Well I reckon the Spiderman bit is all you," I shrugged before I took a sip at last.

Chow laughed heartily at that and proceeded to show me his miniature car collection he kept with his alcohol. Don't ever change Chow Ling, don't ever change.

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – April 2012 – 8 months earlier**

It was the middle of the week before our ninth wedding anniversary. I had been locked all morning in a meeting with Claudine and a bunch of editorial executives – I was exhausted, tense, and needing some ice cream. So I rung Lafayette and he met me at the mall for lunch – I had a nice banana split but Lafayette just fixed himself a slice of cake. We were strolling around, enjoying our dessert and checking for discounts when we walked by a large department store displaying an incredibly nice set of luggage for a fair price.

"I think I'll get this for Eric for our anniversary," I said tilting my head thoughtfully.

"Luggage?" Lafayette arched a nicely penciled eyebrow at me. "Hookah, are you sure that's the message you want to send your husband?"

"What? He travels a lot!" I shrugged.

"Yes, now more so than ever," Lafayette eyed me as if I'd grown a second head. "You want to buy him a present? Get yourself that nice lingerie over there and cover yourself with strawberry ice-cream."

I eyed the aforementioned lingerie. "Been there, done that. Luggage is useful! His old set is falling apart!"

Lafayette narrowed his eyes at me, making a nice display of his eyelashes – goodness grace I should get me some of those!

"Bitch how long has it been since you had sex?"

I glared at him since I couldn't speak, having just shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. Lafayette just made an _I knew it_ face and I ignored him, tossing what was left of my ice cream before I grabbed my credit card and pushed into the store to enquire about the luggage set.

I wanted to get him something nice to show him I cared. I hadn't had the chance to do something like that in a while. We had been having too many discussions about what we didn't like about each other. Anniversaries were meant to remind you of the good stuff right? So I would get him the luggage set. Next time he headed for an airport he'd look at the bags and go "My sweet, loving wife Sookie got me this. I shall not fall in love with the bosomy locals!" It was like killing two birds with one stone really.

In truth he had been travelling more frequently now, making longer campaigns. I tried not to think about the fact this change had taken place after we lost our baby and I said I didn't want to have kids anymore. Well, that and all the other changes – the moods, the secretiveness. Yes I was good at ignoring the obvious.

"Anything else, Mrs. Northman?" the cashier asked me with a bright smile.

"No, just please make sure it's delivered to Mr. Reynolds's address."

"Not a problem," she smiled harder as she handed me back my credit card.

"So what were you saying about your cousin again?" I asked Lafayette as we walked out of the store.

"Ah, yes. Bitch thinks she's pregnant," he looked meaningfully at me. "She called me at two in the morning. After she puked her guts out."

"Well did she take a test?"

"No, she scared."

"She is still single right?"

"As far as we know," Lafayette winked and I shook my head.

I arrived home that evening feeling giddy about my gift. Lafayette sent me a text telling me it had been delivered. My excitement for our anniversary slowly faded away during the week, when Eric made no mention of it. Usually we'd plan our celebrations days before the event, but this time, nothing. Not even when I mentioned Claudine's party on Friday did it trigger anything for him. He'd forgotten – for the first time in nine years….

Perhaps the lingerie and strawberry ice cream would have been the right call after all. I almost let it go, just to see what would happen. But Friday night, after we were returning from Claudine's I couldn't take it anymore and brought it up in the car. He looked appropriately ashamed and when I questioned if we would even celebrate he was visibly pissed off. Well good, if he was pissed it meant he cared!

So Saturday, despite apprehensions, I went to get my hair and my nails done and I put on a new dress I had never had a chance to wear. I hauled his anniversary gift all the way up from Lafayette's apartment - Alejandro helped me because Lala wasn't home. Eric had been at a Conference at the Forrester all day so I sat down to wait for him.

"Hey!" he called out from the door when he got in, looking worn out. "Don't you look pretty?" he walked over as I stood from the couch.

"Thank you," I smiled and kissed him, tugging at his lapels to bring him down to me. "Happy Anniversary!"

"Happy Anniversary Sookie," he held me to him and squeezed before stealing another kiss.

I pulled away and grabbed his hands to steer him over to the side where I'd placed his new luggage set, all decorated with red ribbons. "Tah dah!"

"Oh wow!" he pulled me against his side as he looked at the bags. "Sookie, these look awesome!"

"Your old set is kind of… well… old…" I said patting his chest. "These are pretty and even smell nice."

"Thank you, sweetheart!" he kissed my temple and squeezed my shoulder. "Right on time too. Russell is calling me over to Somalia in a few weeks."

"Oh?" I asked, feeling suddenly deflated. "Already?"

"Maybe next month," he shrugged. "We're still talking about it. I would be back before Christmas," he added. "That's OK, right?" he looked suddenly uncertain.

I nodded slowly, staring at the treacherous luggage set. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

"Well, since we're exchanging gifts now…" he reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small black, velvet box. "I'd like you to wear this."

He pulled the box open revealing a golden bracelet I had once gawked at in the mall – golden plated grape leaves hanging from a golden chain, making dangly, and shiny beads. It was lovely and I was surprised he had remembered. I wasn't big on jewelry but that bracelet had really caught my eye.

"Oh, Eric!" I smiled as I put it on. "You remembered. Thank you. I love it."

"So you like it?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes, sure. Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm going to shower and then we can go," he kissed my temple again before letting go of me to head to our room.

We made it to the restaurant around eight o'clock, but there seemed to be some problem with our reservation - we had made last minute plans after all... So Eric left me to stand in the foyer while he tried to sort it out. I leaned against the nearest wall and huffed - telling myself if he hadn't forgotten our damn anniversary this wouldn't be happening. So I was bitter about that and recent news that Eric was due to travel in maybe a month when it hadn't been that long he'd returned from a campaign. But I wasn't nearly as disappointed and disheartened as I was about to become in a couple minutes.

"Sookie! Hi!"

I had to tear my eyes away from the double doors Eric had just walked through to look up and see Sophie-Anne walking out of the restaurant with her date. I pulled away from the wall to try and appear less of a slouch next to giraffe-woman.

"Sophie-Anne? Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Dinner!" she nearly rolled her eyes at me. "Do you remember Tim?" she pointed at the man beside her.

Er, no not really. I thought her boyfriend's name was Richard.

"Hi, how have you been?" I smiled at the stranger hoping for the best.

Tim seemed to be in the same mindset as I. "Good, thank you! Good to see you again!"

"So, don't you look nice?" Sophie-Anne eyed my dress. "Where's Eric?"

"Uhm, he's trying to sort out our reservation. I thought you were supposed to be in China?"

"I came back two weeks ago. Russell's recruiting for Somalia and I do prefer the African continent. I hear Eric's coming too, is that true?" Sophie-Anne raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"Seems that way," I tried to say it casually, folding my arms across my chest.

"If I were you, I'd keep a shorter leash on that man!" she teased me. "He's been awfully international lately, hasn't he?"

"Well yeah..." I started to feel really unhappy. "He always comes back." I felt a bit silly saying that, as if I was referencing a puppy that had the bad habit of digging his way out of my backyard.

"Well, I think Eric's over exerting himself!" Sophie-Anne continued. "He's already been abroad this year, hasn't he? You see this in this field all the time, people can't manage their lives, end up ruining marriages and families, all in the name of helping others. What's the point if you can't take care of your own right?"

I stared back at her, wondering where that little moralizing rant had come from. Finally she shrugged and Tim mentioned they should go or they would be late for the play.

Eric came back, saying it was all sorted out and we were shown to our table. I didn't mention running into Sophie-Anne (and good ole Tim) or what we had talked about. But it was stuck in my head nonetheless. It was as if she'd known what our lives had been like in the last couple of years. I dreaded for a moment that Eric was confiding in Sophie-freaking-Anne. He wouldn't, would he? That just wasn't like him. But it was as if she'd known.

It was then that it occurred to me, maybe everyone knew, maybe we were so obviously hopeless the entire world could see how badly we had been managing our relationship. Hadn't Lafayette, earlier in the week, questioned me about my gift choice for Eric? Were we that obvious? Had it come to this? Receiving relationship advice from a woman who barely knew me?

"You seem distracted, are you OK?" Eric frowned thirty minutes into dinner.

"I'm sorry," I shook my head to clear it. "What were you saying?"

Eric blinked at me. "Nothing. We haven't been saying anything for ten minutes. Where did you go?"

"Just thinking about work," I lied and took a large sip of my wine, just to have something to do.

"What about it?" Eric prodded and I could recognize the annoyance there, in the way he creased his forehead.

"We're making a feature page for the Olympics." That _was_ true.

"Yeah that sounds very thought consuming," Eric teased, digging into his baked fish.

"I think we should just ask for the check. I'm tired," I put my fork down.

"What about dessert?" Eric asked half-heartedly.

"I don't want dessert," I reached for my purse. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Fine. Have fun."

I glared at him over my shoulder before walking on. The minute I was in the bathroom I regretted getting snippy with him. The proper lady my Gran raised would have waited until we were home to air the dirty laundry. I stalled in the bathroom for as long as I could like a complete idiot. But finally I had to get out. As I walked back to the table I saw the waiter taking away the checkbook with Eric's credit card in it while Eric stared into the table glumly. He caught my eye as I approached and he arranged his features to one of indifference. I fought the immature urge to roll my eyes as I slid back into my seat.

"So did you like the restaurant?" he asked casually. I wanted to punch him.

We drove home in complete silence. I could feel Eric eyeing me several times and part of me regretted having created this mood between us, on our anniversary. But another very bitter part was just too tired of pretending our relationship was normal. What was I doing buying my husband luggage sets? Did I want him gone? Why was he always so irritable when we were out together, what was that love affair he had developed with his cell phone? Why weren't we happy anymore?

We got into the apartment in a slightly better mood – we made small talk about our plans for Sunday which involved doing some cleaning, cooking pasta and having Helen and Axel over for tea.

It was once we were in the bedroom that we had to finally talk. Eric closed the door and leaned against it, watching me as I got out of my shoes to put them away.

"Sookie, what is going on?" he asked as I walked out of the closet.

I faced him, swallowing the lump in my throat. He looked so sad now – the calculated indifference and irritability were gone and he just stared at me with fear in his eyes. I wondered if I had that fear in mine too.

"I don't know, Eric," I said in a choke as tears started building up. "I just can't help but feel like whatever's broken between us can't be fixed."

Eric pushed himself away from the door, reaching me in two strides to cup my face between his hands, his eyes filled with a desperation that was almost like a balm – he cared, he cared that we were lost. Did that mean we _could_ fix this?

"Sookie, don't talk like that," he told me, cradling my face between his hands. "It's _us_, we're going to be fine."

I shook my head, wanting to believe it but tired of it at the same time. "I don't know. I think maybe we…"

Eric put his finger to my lips and frowned hard, a clear order for me to not finish that sentence. He looked almost enraged then. I swallowed again and shook my head, I couldn't even speak anyway.

"No," he said when it looked as if I was about to speak again and he pulled me to him, locking his arms around me tightly and pressing his forehead to the top of my head. "Just don't, Sookie. Don't talk like that anymore."

I locked my own arms around him and rested my head on his chest, trying to rule my own heavy breathing and put a stop to my building tears. It felt safe in his arms as he held me so tight it hurt. I gripped at his shirt and sobbed once, burying my face deeper into his chest when he started caressing my back gently.

I couldn't say anything more, I would just choke up and sob. Talking felt like too much at the moment. Eric started kissing my neck and pulling at my dress and I just forgot all about talking, or fixing, or breaking. I simply responded by working his belt buckle off and tugging at his head to pull his mouth from my neck to my lips. We kissed, hard, and long, and heatedly while our hands either tried to caress or maul each other. We fell onto the bed in a mess of limbs and ripping clothes and breathless noises. We reminded each other of what we used to be good at, and it was great. But it couldn't save us – no matter how athletic or creative or passionate it could be it wasn't a band-aid. But I didn't care – I took everything I could from him that night, and I cried as I felt how much he loved me, how much he wanted me – it hurt to realize it – and to know it wasn't enough anymore.

For me, it was the beginnings of good-bye.

Of course, we didn't know we'd made a baby that night. We wouldn't know for a while, and by the time Eric left for Russell's campaign we were already discussing separation. Eric was entirely against even discussing a divorce.

Ironically, it was Lukas that made me decide it was time to end it for good. It was also Lukas that made Eric return home permanently and change everything. In an indirect way he saved mommy and daddy, by showing up at the wrong time – or, it could be argued, the right time.

xxxxxx


	22. Chapter 22

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

Our apartment is really small. That's the only conclusion I've come to after Thanksgiving and the Baby Shower. It had felt appropriately large when it was just Eric and I most of the time - but the more we had people over the more we realized, we needed a bigger house. I liked having people over - somehow having a baby gave me this nesting feeling - I wanted to have people over all the time now and I guess the apartment just didn't agree. I wasn't going to bring that up with Eric just yet - he had a book to think of.

Most of the women that came to the shower were women I hadn't seen or spoken to in what felt like ages. A handful of girls I went to college with, most of whom already had several children of their own, some old colleagues from the paper when I worked under Pam, and a couple of high school friends from Bon Temps. Pam, Helen, Amy, Claudine and Tara didn't count of course. Gran had invited most of the other girls and I had no idea how she'd found them. Lafayette and Alejandro dropped in early to leave me their gifts, and a very grumpy Tara, but they were going away for a romantic weekend.

I was sitting on the couch, between Gran and Tara while I had gifts thrust into my hands and several voices overlapped as I tried to pick one woman to listen to at a time. I wasn't surprised when Lorena came in and handed me her gift. I liked Lorena but I hadn't really thought of inviting her until Pam pointed out her husband was now publishing Eric. Or course, Pam had other things in her mind, but she was right about that part. The pair of them got immediately chatty and before I knew it they were huddled off into a corner talking and laughing and ignoring everyone else. Poor Pam, she was going to get her heart broken. I was sure.

But I suppose the guest I was most surprised about was Chow. He dropped in the middle of the party, charmed his way into Gran's and Helen's graces and was allowed free reign of my baby shower. At least he brought me flowers.

"You do know Eric's not here don't you?" I asked him as I moved around the kitchen to find an appropriate vase for the flowers.

"Oh he's not?" Chow asked with mock-disappointment while I rolled my eyes at him. "Well I guess the least I can do is keep you company while he's out."

"Try this Chow, dear," Gran thrust a tray full of hot dog and bacon roll ups into his hands.

"Gran! You know not to feed him. He'll never go away now!" I said as I shoved the flowers into a tall vase with water.

"Sookie Stackhouse, where did your manners go?" Gran admonished me and Chow winked at me over Gran's head while he popped the first of the roll ups into his mouth.

I chuckled and put the vase near the window. "Thank you for my flowers, they're lovely."

"You're welcome, love. So where is that husband of yours?"

"Hospital!" I rolled my eyes. "I give him the day off and he goes to work. What's wrong with him?" I stepped next to him and popped a mini crouton into my mouth.

"He's just one of those people who need to work you know," Chow answered with his mouth full. "But you know that, of course. You married him."

I grinned. Yes, I did know. It still amused me to this day though. "Try this one," I said shoving a mini crouton into his mouth.

Chow took it into his mouth and chewed dutifully nodding. "It's quite good!"

"I know right?"

Tara ambled into the kitchen, balancing an empty tray on her belly. "We need more lemonade out there, Sookie."

"There's more in the fridge," I said sucking the grease out of my fingers.

"Hey big guy, how about you make yourself useful?" Tara nodded at Chow. "Big, heavy jar," she waved towards the inside of the fridge.

Chow looked back at me waggling his eyebrows. "Oooh, I like them bossy!"

I shook my head and grabbed the bacon roll up tray from him. "Go get her, tiger!"

I silently wished him good luck as I left them alone in the kitchen. I sat next to Maxine Fortenberry and the other women from Bon Temps so we could play catch up. From the corner of my eye I saw Helen eying Pam and Lorena nervously. She probably knew what was going on and was as worried as I was. When I'd told Eric about it, he'd shrugged it off and said Pam was a grown up and could handle it. I guess he just didn't put much stock into Pam's talk of being in love. Pam did not get attached, that was true, but people change right?

Chow hung around for about a half hour, charming the ladies and eating our food, until, finally, he decided he had to go and rescue Eric from the hospital. Most women started leaving after 4pm - the first were the ones who had to drive back to Bon Temps. Around sunset, it was just me, Gran, Amy, Tara and Helen cleaning things up. Pam, had left, suspiciously close to the time Lorena left, but I didn't say anything.

"So uh... Axel's all moved out, huh?" I asked Helen as I dried the dishes and she stowed them away.

"Yes, yes he has. The day after Thanksgiving."

I nodded. "And is that OK with you?"

"Yes, of course. It was time. I nursed him back to health and now he can live his life and I mine."

I just nodded again and bit my lip. I didn't know if Eric had gotten a chance to ask Axel about what Jessica said and I also didn't know how much Helen knew, so it was best not to say anything.

"Is he back to work yet?" I asked instead.

"Stan has been in charge since the heart attack and I think Axel is ready to step down as C.E.O."

"Wow, really?" I was surprised. Axel was still young - true he had had one hell of a year, but still.

"I don't know what he'll do, honestly. But he's definitely trusting Stan more and more."

"Well... whatever he's comfortable with."

"He's going to put everything on that baby of yours you know?" she sighed. "His last hope to keep the company in the family."

I didn't know how I felt about that. It was a lot of pressure for a little boy who wasn't even born yet. I hoped he waited until he was 18 to start guilting him into it, like he did with Eric.

I wanted Gran to stay until tomorrow so we could drive her home during the day, but she decided to just let Amy drive her back in the evening, after everything was clean. So I said goodbye to Amy and Gran around 8pm and sat down the couch with the remote all to myself and indulged myself by watching two chick flicks in a row.

By the time Eric was home I had already sunk further back and was lying down with two cushions behind my head, one foot up on the couch and the other dangling to the side. The credits to _Girl in Pink_ were rolling.

"Well hello there, sir!" I yawned and smiled as he stopped in front the couch, looking beat himself. "Did you boys have fun?"

His response was to stumble down on top of me, careful not to put any weight on my belly, his hands pressing into the couch on my sides to support him while he leaned down and kissed me.

"Someone had a little bit of a wine!" I pouted.

"He forced me." He kissed me again before he slid down to rest his head on my chest, heaving a huge sigh. "How was your party?"

"It was great. Diapers galore and all that jazz," I said stroking his hair, enjoying the warmth and the weight of him on my chest. "I'll never see most of those women again," I chuckled.

"At least until your next baby shower," Eric mumbled, nuzzling into my chest.

"You'd have to _accidentally_ impregnate me again. Every time we tried to get pregnant on purpose it just didn't work," I snorted.

He looked up, resting his chin on my chest, a fleeting shadow running through his eyes. I knew what he was thinking about, but I didn't want to remember that. I would forever mourn our unborn baby, but I couldn't dwell on it anymore while there was Luke to celebrate. I ran the tip of my finger down to the tip his nose and he closed his eyes, sighing again. He looked so handsome with his hair in disarray and his eyes closed like that. I hoped he didn't cut it even though Helen suggested he did. I liked it the way it was, just long enough for me to tug at it and run my fingers through it.

"Keep doing that," he said when I resumed stroking his hair.

"We should go to bed, you're going to hurt your arms holding yourself up like that," I laughed, tugging at his ear. "Come on, help me up."

He groaned, narrowing his eyes at me. "You're just using me, aren't you?"

"I'll stroke your hair all you want if you get me out of here!" I admitted.

"That a promise?" he asked, peppering kisses along my jaw line.

"Yep," I sighed when he sucked my earlobe into his mouth. "Although, if you keep doing that you might get more than you're bargaining for."

"That was the plan all along," he whispered into my ear.

I shuddered and glared at him as he sat up on his calves and offered me his hands. "Oh, you evil genius you." I placed my hands atop his.

"We're finally alone in the house again, did you think I was gonna let that go to waste?" he started hoisting me up carefully.

"Oh, you poor neglected baby!" I teased when I was finally on my feet again. "Thank you."

"Want to share a trip down the shower with me?" Eric waggled his eyebrows.

"That would actually be wonderful!" I groaned feeling all the tension and pressure on my lower back.

Seeing my pain Eric stepped behind me and started rubbing my lower back, dipping to plant a kiss on the crown of my head.

"Thank you," I smiled at him over my shoulder.

"Just a little bit longer, sweetheart," He reminded me, throwing an arm around my shoulders to hold me to his chest. "You're doing great."

"I can't wait," I said, reaching down to rest my hands on my bump. "He's going to be awesome."

"He already is," Eric covered my hand with his.

Yes, he definitely already was awesome – and if he looked anything like his dad, I was going to have a huge problem in my hands when he reached his teens.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

The day of Steve and Sarah's wedding arrived, two weeks into December. I was working my tie in front of the mirror and reciting my speech in my head, when I spied Sookie in the background through the mirror. She seemed to be trying to get her shoes on and it wasn't working.

"You OK there?"

"The stupid shoes won't fit!" Sookie whined, holding them in her hands. "My feet look like the fucking Titanic!"

"No they don't!" I soothed her. "They look adorable like always."

"Oh shut up!" she tossed the shoes on the bed and came to stand beside me in front of the mirror, placing her hands on her lower back and tilting her head as she looked at my reflection. "That is a nice shirt, I don't remember that one."

"It was a gift from Mom, I don't think I ever wore if before," I frowned at my knot before I undid it entirely.

"It's nice!" she said running her hands up and down my arm - to test the fabric, I assume – either that or she wanted to ravage me – it was hard to tell lately. "It's really nice!" she was frowning hard.

"Are you… about to cry?" I let go of the tie as I watched her face on the mirror.

"No!" she sniffled, letting go of my sleeve and pouting. "It's just that…we were supposed to both look nice tonight… now I just look like a hippo with duck feet!" she frowned and smoothed the front of her dress.

She looked adorable, in fact, everyone kept telling her that. She made an adorable pregnant girl. Her dress was peach colored, chiffon and lace, and she looked like an angel – but try telling her that. She'll most likely eat your face and spit it out. But, since I am the husband, and 50% responsible for the hormones that are making her crazy, I guess it's my duty to risk getting my face eaten.

"You don't, you look beautiful," I kissed the top of her blonde head. "Like a frigging Botticelli. Just get another pair of shoes."

Sookie moaned next to me. "You just don't get it! I love those shoes."

Last week, she loved the toast maker too, and she nearly had a break down when it short circuited. Her mood swings were getting a lot worse on the final stretch. I finally got the knot the way I wanted and I turned to my lovely wife, taking her into my arms.

"Want me to cut them so they'll fit?"

She glared at me. I kissed her. It usually worked – when everything else fails; just make her horny – which was pretty easy to do these days too. Except, of course, we had a wedding to go to. But she was smiling and breathless after a long kiss, so I guess I win.

"I'm going to see if Tara has something I can borrow," she conceded.

"Excellent!" I said reaching for my suit jacket. "Just don't forget we leave in fifteen."

"Alright, hold your horses!" she slipped her feet into her sandals and walked out of the room.

We make it to the car _twenty _minutes later and she's pouting at me for complaining it took her too long to find the shoes. Tara and Sookie had been talking by the elevator when I found her and fortunately, Tara had a pair of shoes that worked just as nice with Sookie's dress and it fit.

It was cold, her dress had long sleeves, but her legs were pretty bare and she ended up having to go upstairs and grab a woolen overcoat, to at least toss over her knees during the ceremony. We arrived at the church in time, despite the five minutes we wasted – thank God brides are meant to be late.

I recognized a lot of the guests on the groom side and I waved and shook a few hands on my way to the altar. Russell and his wife Sylvia were there too – I was so out of touch I forgot the campaign was over by now. I left Sookie to sit down with them and said hello before joining Steve.

"Hey, ready?" I patted his back.

"Dude… no!" Steve laughed.

"Yeah, you'll be alright," I assured him.

"What if she doesn't come?"

"Why wouldn't she come?" I shrugged.

"In High School, I was voted _most likely to be left at the altar_."

"Yes, because High School kids know everything."

He chuckled. "Oh there's Chow."

Indeed, there was Chow, coming up the aisle with his arm around Crystal Norris. Son of a bitch! The pair of them waved at us before they found their seats.

Steve didn't get left at the altar. The bride looked just as nervous as he did, but she came – looking like a wedding cake herself. The ceremony was quite emotional for everyone – especially Steve who cried like a little girl. But I was happy for him – I'd never seen him this happy.

The wedding party was held at Steve's Dad house, which was more like a mansion, with a nice party hall and catering, musicians and everything you'd expect. There were even more people at the party than at the ceremony and before I knew it I had seen and spoken to most of the people I went to med school with.

"Don't you want to sit down?" I asked Sookie after we'd finished speaking to an old professor.

"Not yet, I'm good," Sookie said, sipping from her pineapple juice. "Oh look, here comes Chow!"

I turned to see Chow and Crystal coming to us. Crystal looked cute in a lilac short dress, her sleek hair had been curled up and she was wearing makeup – very different from the clean, pony-tail type nurse I was used to.

"How's our favorite couple?" Chow patted my back and kissed Sookie. "Ready to pop yet?"

"Oh shut up!" Sookie snapped at him.

"I'm Crystal, I've seen you around at the hospital when Eric's dad was sick, but I never got a chance to say hello. Hi!" Crystal offered Sookie her hand nervously.

"Oh! _You_'re Crystal!" Sookie took her hand and smiled. "I've heard so much about you!"

"Really?" Crystal looked at me suspiciously. "Nothing bad, I hope?"

"He says you're his favorite nurse!" Sookie eyed me suspiciously as well.

"Aaaw!" Crystal tilted her head at me. "That's cute, Doc."

"And… apparently you're Chow's favorite nurse too!" Sookie grinned at Chow.

"Jealous, dear?" Chow grinned back.

"That explains why there's so much food in the house," Sookie teased. "He's been eating all of yours?"

Crystal looked between Sookie and Chow curiously and shook her head. "We're not there yet, I don't open my fridge until the fourth date."

"Wise girl," Sookie nodded.

"You're mean!" Chow pointed at Sookie.

"Should we just get a table?" I offered and finally everyone agreed.

Steve and Sarah appeared at the end of the stairs and everybody stood to applaud. Sarah's dress looked a bit more manageable now and together with Steve she went around talking to people. They stopped at our table for a bit and we talked. Sarah and Sookie talked about the baby shower, which Sarah had missed because she was out of town. Steve, Chow and I caught up a little and then it was finally time for the speech.

I hated public speaking, ever since I was a boy. But well, this was Steve's wedding and so I had to make the guy happy.

"Good evening everyone," I stood after the speech was announced. "I was invited by Steve, to stand beside him on this day, and make sure he didn't make an entire fool of himself." Steve nodded profusely while Sarah kissed his cheek. "Check." I lifted my glass at him and he grinned. "Now is the time when I embarrass him, I suppose." People laughed – oh good that's how it works. "But I'll be kind because he's my boss." More laughter. "I've known Steve for well over a decade and I can say without a shadow of a doubt I've never seen him happier or more confident in himself." I looked at Sarah. "You did this, Sarah." Her lips were already trembling. "I know this because I've known the man for years, and you made the difference. You made him a man. That's really all any of us need." I looked over at Sookie now and she was smiling too. "That one person to pull us into our axis and be our sun. I know tonight you two begin the greatest moment of your lives, which is learning how to be a family. I also know you guys are going to do great. To Steve and Sarah." I raised my glass.

"To Steve and Sarah!" the entire party hall repeated.

Well that wasn't too painful, I thought. Granted my speech wasn't nearly as lengthy or as funny or as tear jerking as wedding speeches are supposed to be – but given Steve and Sarah's reaction and the dozen pats on the back I got, I did pretty well.

I made my way back to Sookie after finally disentangling myself from Sarah's mom who wanted to tell me how lovely she thought I was – awkward…

I found her next to a pillar near the entrance of the party hall, watching me with a smile. I sighed and pulled her into my arms.

"Can we go home now?" I asked her, touching my forehead to hers.

"Not yet, best man, don't be a party pooper!" she threw her arms around my neck. "That was a very nice speech, Mr. Northman."

"It wasn't that good," I shrugged.

"Oh, but it was!" she disagreed, snaking her arms down the front of my jacket. "I thought it was _very_… hot!"

I arched my eyebrows. "Seriously? My wedding speech made you horny?"

Sookie nodded. "Mmhmm, I think it was that part about the sun and all… is that really how you feel?" she tilted her head back to look at me.

I smiled, running my finger through her hair. "You know it is."

Sookie actually growled at me – it was kind of cute, and hot. She pushed me against the pillar and attacked me and I was suddenly very proud of my eloquence. Perhaps I should do speeches more often… or maybe it was just her hormones.

"Really, sweetheart? Here? You don't want to shock Steve's Aunt Milda and Doris, do ya?" I nodded towards the pair of old ladies sitting on the table nearest to us. Both old women were looking at us with a creepy grin on their faces. Well… maybe they actually wouldn't mind.

Sookie looked at the two of them and waved politely before she got a hold of my tie and pulled me behind the pillar.

I don't think the settee in Mr. Newlin's library will ever be the same again. It probably never had anything more adventurous than reading happen on it. I have to admit it was the best wedding I'd ever been to. I was going to miss Horny Sookie – she was great. I wasn't about to say no to her if she asked me to have sex with her on top of an ice-cream truck.

After we were done, we fixed our clothes and sneaked back into the party, hand in hand, both smiling like idiots. I didn't even mind staying a bit longer then. We returned to our table, Sookie tossed her shoes and rested her feet on my lap while I tossed back a couple more drinks, watching the couples dancing – which included bride and groom and Chow and Crystal.

"You know, they actually make a fine pair!" Sookie said as she watched them.

"Yeah I wouldn't get excited about it," I shrugged. "It's Chow."

"And he's your best friend!" Sookie glared at me. "Have a little faith!" she paused to watch them a little and then she smiled, turning back to me. "Who knows, maybe she's his sun!"

I smiled back. "You really liked that, didn't you?"

"Sweetest thing you've ever said," she said, teasing the inside of my thigh with her bare foot.

"Haven't you had enough?" I laughed, stilling her foot before I was compromised.

Sookie bit her lip meaningfully, her eyelids drooping a little.

"Sookie!" I growled warningly. "Stop that or I'll drag you back into that library."

She laughed and kicked her feet off, going for her juice to take a sip. "Alright!"

"Hey guys! Where did you go?" Crystal plunked down on her chair breathlessly. The last couple of songs had been wild and Chow had wanted to show off his impressive moves – poor Crystal having to keep up with modern day John Travolta… "We lost you for a while!"

Sookie and I exchanged a brief look before Sookie grinned. "We just needed a bit of air."

Crystal nodded, taking a large gulp from her soda. "I think I need air too."

I choked into my wine and Sookie kicked me under the table but had to stifle her laugh into her hand too.

"What was that?" Crystal looked at us funny.

Chow, who had also taken his seat, looked at us knowingly. "I don't think that means what you think it means, Crys."

"What?" Crystal looked at him over her shoulder.

"Time to go?" Sookie looked at me quickly.

"Time to go!" I agreed pushing myself up. "Let's go say good night to Steve and Sarah."

After we did that, we also said good night to some other friends and headed to our car. We drove in companiable silence, listening to the radio and yawning every now and then.

"Fifty bucks says Chow and Crystal are totally going to be together." Sookie said suddenly.

I smiled and shook my head. "You're on."

I stopped the car in front of our garage and waited for the gate to open. Sookie suddenly grabbed my wrist. "What is Tara doing out so late?"

"What?" I looked over to the building entrance and saw Tara walking down the steps carefully, her hands on her belly. "Tara?" I pushed the car door open and got out.

"Oh! Hey you guys!" Tara smiled as we approached her quickly, abandoning our car in front of the garage. "How was the wedding?"

"What are you doing out here alone?" Sookie looked her up and down. "Are you OK?"

Tara's smile was a bit nervous as she nodded. "I'm good. My water just broke."

"Oh my God!" Sookie grabbed her wrist. "Two weeks before time?"

"Yeah, I know!"

There was the sound of a car screeching behind us and I turned to see Lafayette getting out of his car. "Let's go Tara! Oh hey guys! Sorry no time to chat. Where's Alejandro?"

"Right here baby!"

We turned to see Alejandro coming down the steps quickly with a large bag of baby stuff.

"Sookie! Eric! Did you guys have fun?"

"Are you going to Brigant?" Sookie asked as Lafayette helped Tara into the car.

"Yeah, I already called Lorena and all."

"Ok!" Sookie looked at me nervously. "We're coming too, OK?"

"Oh sure! The more the merrier!" Tara's smile stretched – she was nervous I could tell. "Bye guys!"

"See you guys there!" Lafayette shot over his shoulder as he got into the driver's seat.

Sookie looked at me, her eyes bulging, and her hands on her own tummy. Hell, I hoped she wasn't about to go into sympathy labor.

"She's going to be OK. It's not unusual for this to happen," I started steering her back to our car. "Come on, let's go."

"Ok…"

xxxxxx


	23. Chapter 23

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

I could only hope my labor would go as quickly and smoothly as Tara's. It felt as though she was barely carted off to the delivery room before Grace simply slipped out into the world. She was the tiniest, cutest newborn I haver ever seen (until now). Tara looked simply elated and relieved as she held her little girl – I was slightly jealous – I still had to wait until January. We were all in her room around 3am, staying for as long as we could before some nurse came to kick us out.

"Let me hold her for a little bit!" Lafayette danced next to Tara's bed, flexing his hands anxiously.

Tara laughed and carefully handed the baby to him. Lafayette cuddled her to him and I leaned over his shoulder to see the little girl's face better.

"She's just perfect, Tara!" Alejandro said a bit teary eyed as he grabbed her hand comfortingly.

"Thanks guys," Tara squeezed his hand back. "I don't know if I could have done it without you here."

"You'll always have us Tara," Lafayette said, his eyes still on his tinier cousin.

"And us!" I reached and squeezed her knee over her blanket.

"So, are you anxious now?" Tara grinned at me. "You're next!"

Lukas jolted inside me and I laughed, pressing my hand to my tummy. I think we were both starting to feel a little nervous. As if he'd read my mind, Eric pulled me into his side and kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him and smiled.

Seeing Tara go through this without the baby's father made me appreciate my life a little bit more. Eric was here and we were going to do this together.

"Oh hello everyone!" Lorena pushed the door open and swept her eyes across the room. "Nice party you have going here Tara!"

"Tell them how awesome I was," Tara asked her.

Lorena looked at us all. "She was awesome." her eyes then rested on me. "How are we doing Sookie?"

"I'm still good!" I squeaked, patting my tummy.

Lorena laughed. "Getting the jitters are we?"

I just grinned nervously and Eric squeezed my shoulder silently.

"I'm letting you go in the morning, all reports came out fine," Lorena told Tara, reaching to feel her pulse with her left hand.

My eyes widened when I noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding band. I tugged at Eric's hand and he just looked at me in confusion. I nodded towards Lorena and he just shrugged.

_Men._

What the hell had happened? It's not like we talked about her personal life when I checked in with her at the clinic but last I saw her, which was a week ago, she still had a wedding band!

She talked to Tara for a couple minutes more and then she wished us all a good night and left. It wasn't long before Eric suggested we go home and we kissed Tara good night. I mentioned Lorena in the car and Eric tried to shrug it off, saying maybe she just had to take it off for a procedure - but I could see he was wondering the same thing I was. I hadn't talked to Pam much after the baby shower, weeks ago - so I didn't know what could be happening. I tried not to worry but I would definitely have to check in with Helen and carefully mention Pam to see if she knew something. Helen was so sensitive since Axel moved out we tried not to talk about anything upsetting - so I didn't want to talk about Pam if nothing had happened - I'd have to phrase it so that, if there was something to talk about, Helen would bring it up.

I woke up a bit late the next morning and Eric was no longer in bed. I groaned grumpily as I kicked off my covers to get myself up. I was feeling hot and clammy and with more than a few kinks in my back and neck. I silently admonished Lukas for making mommy so sore and cranky as I ambled into the bathroom to get into the shower and brush my teeth. I wanted to get down to Lafayette's floor and see if Tara and Gracey were home yet.

Eric was in the kitchen when I finally came out and he seemed to be getting started on lunch. The TV was on and the weatherman was speaking – but the volume was so low I couldn't make it out. He looked up when he heard me coming and smiled before pointing at the kitchen island with his wooden spoon. He'd saved me some breakfast toast.

"So what are we cooking?" I asked as I sat down in front of the plate of toast.

"Spinach spaghetti," Eric said as he peered into what I assume was the pan of boiling water.

"Your father's recipe?" I asked curiously.

Axel wasn't completely useless in the kitchen but Helen wouldn't let him use it very often – she said since he wouldn't let her work, she wouldn't let him cook. But he did make awesome spinach spaghetti and other strange stuff when she would let him.

"Yep." Eric turned away from the oven and leaned over the island to give me a quick peck on the lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore and cranky," I said honestly picking at my toast.

"So, no mom today?" he asked sympathetically.

"Oh no, we can still go see Helen!" I shrugged.

Eric narrowed his eyes at me. "You want to talk to her about my sister."

I nodded. "Aren't you worried? Don't you think Bill's gonna… I don't know… retrieve his offer to publish your book?"

Eric thought for a moment and shrugged. "He might, but business is business. If he does, I can always find another publisher."

"So aren't you worried about Pam then?" I folded my arms on top of the granite and watched him seriously. If it was my brother going after women in complicated marriages I would be going crazy.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, we don't know what happened. Sookie I take my ring off all the time!"

I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned, leaning closer again to kiss me one more time.

"Oh do you?"

He nodded. "I put it in a box and tuck it in my locker."

"You mean you prance around hospitals and camps around the world looking like a free man with hot doctor women all around you!?"

Eric actually grinned, his pearly teeth making an appearance. I rolled my eyes and he kissed my forehead before moving to check on his cooking again.

"I don't _prance_," was the only thing he said.

I chuckled. "Fine… you stomp around manly then." I sighed. "Maybe I am worrying for nothing. It's just that… well… Pam is a certain age and she's still very single… and now that she barely talks to your Dad…" I shook my head. "I just worry about her is all."

Eric looked over his shoulder, looking surprised. "I didn't know you cared so much about Pam."

I rolled my eyes. "We were never best of friends, but she was awesome to me when you were in Somalia. She was suddenly the perfect sister-in-law," I shrugged. "It opened my eyes to the fact she's actually quite human."

Eric grew quiet, as he often did whenever we brushed the subject of his last trip. I didn't like talking about either, but sometimes it just came up. I think it would be a while before it didn't sting to talk about it.

"Perhaps I should talk to her," he said after a while.

"To Pam?" I perked up in my seat.

Eric shrugged. "It's my job isn't it?"

"Yes it is!"

"I'll talk to her then. She will most probably show up later in the evening."

"Good!" I stood and walked over to him, standing on the tips of my toes to give him another kiss. "I'll go check on Tara and Gracey a bit."

"Alright," Eric said, holding me to him a bit before letting me go. "Just don't miss lunch."

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

We used to go to mom's for lunch, but lately we'd switched to dinner. We arrived early in the evening and to my surprise Pam was already there, actually helping mom in the kitchen. Oh it was going to be one of those Twilight Zone nights then.

I'd promised Sookie I would try to find out what was going on between Pam and Lorena. I never liked to meddle in my sister's private life – mainly because it was always very messy and she's my sister. But Sookie was right – Pam had just turned the greatest love of her life into persona non grata and she was never in a steady relationship – maybe she needed help.

Once Sookie managed to send Pam my way saying she would help mom in the kitchen, she found me in the living room, playing with mom's old piano. She leaned over the wood, with a margarita on her hand and glared at me.

"What is it Eric?"

"Hmmm?" I looked at her innocently.

Pam rolled her eyes, put her glass down and nudged me to the side with her hip so she could sit next to me. "Do you think we can still do _Chopsticks_?"

I shrugged and we looked at each other's hands as we tried to remember the right positioning. Pam fixed my hands and nodded. It was one of those cutsie things parents get you to learn when you're a kid to impress their friends. Neither Pam nor I could play anything else. Mom was rather good with the piano and it was the only reason we had one – it had been my father's gift to her before we were born.

"So what's up?" Pam asked as we started trying to reproduce the old magic.

"Are you seeing Lorena?" I asked straight forwardly.

Pam crapped up her notes and glared at me. "Excuse me?"

"Are you?" I shrugged.

Pam sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let me guess… Sookie told you."

"I'm you brother, she was worried," I shrugged.

"Well then the both of you can relax. I have nothing to do with Lorena anymore."

"Anymore?" I cocked an eyebrow.

Pam shrugged as she started playing again. "We went out a couple of times. But I just can't do this whole sharing thing, it's too weird."

"Hell yeah it is," I chuckled, relieved. I wasn't aware how much it bothered me until I felt how relieved I actually was. "You deserve better you know?" I nudged her with my shoulder. She ignored me and continued playing, but I could see the corner of her mouth curling up a bit. "If only you would stop being so tough… you'd find someone worthy."

"Eric!" Pam groaned and looked at me. "You're not doing your part!" she glared at my hands which now rested on my lap.

I shook my head at her and grabbed her head between my hands laying a kiss on her cheek before she could stop me. I let go and Pam kicked me with her heel.

"Don't get grabby with me!" she hissed but I was just laughing. "Now shut up and play, Oprah!"

"Fine," I sighed and I placed my hands in position again. "Go."

We started playing and it took as a while to get it right and more than a few kicks in the chin from Pam. We finally got it and carried on, ignoring the fact the piano was completely off tune from not having been played in years.

"If you gave Dad a chance you'd feel better too, you know?" I said after a while. "He's still your father."

"Shut up, Eric! Don't press your luck!"

So I didn't. I hoped those two would eventually sort out their differences and move on. They were both crazy about each other and life was short. I really wanted my whole family healed before Lukas arrived – but perhaps that was asking too much.

xxxxxxx


	24. Chapter 24

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

A whole morning of unpacking Christmas ornaments and putting together the brand new tree made me feel strange. For the past two years I hadn't really bothered with the holidays. It had lost its shine to me. The last Christmas I celebrated I had been on the first trimester of my first pregnancy and we all know that came to an abrupt, bitter end on January 1st. I had been excited, looking forward to the baby's first Christmas, which would have been the following year, and even though he or she would not have been a year old I was already planning all of the Christmas decoration. Well after everything went sour I didn't much care for Christmas anymore - I didn't even want a tree. I would settle for driving to Gran's and joining her and Jason for celebrations - and then dropping by Helen and Axel's to exchange presents - but I had no real Christmas spirit anymore. For a moment it was strange to start getting excited about this again - I had this sudden moment of bitterness as I watched Eric pushing the tree into the corner while Gran and Amy gave him directions. I sat on the sofa, holding a box containing some of my old ornaments on the top of my belly and I sighed, remembering why I had stopped caring. For me the joy of Christmas as an adult was to make my children happy - I had given up on that two years ago. I eventually got over my sulking and proceeded to help everyone with the tree.

Again, another holiday change of plans thanks to the large pregnant lady. Instead of going to Bon Temps, Gran came to me. Jason and Amy drove over as well and they were all going to sleep at home for a couple of days. I would have put the tree up earlier in the month, but Gran had most of the ornaments since I had gotten rid of most of mine. Jason was pretty giddy - but then again he never stopped being a little boy. Eric was pretty happy too and he looked like a dork wearing a Santa hat and looking all frowny as he tried to push the tree around. When it was finally on the right spot we started decorating. Mostly, I just sat on my fat ass and opened boxes and chose ornaments for them to put up.

Eric was happy for something else as well. Axel was having Jessica all for himself for the day and he'd invited Eric and me to come say hello. I couldn't deny Eric the right to see his little sister on Christmas so I agreed. Besides, I was starting to feel sorry for the kid. The reality of grown up world was slowly making itself known to her. Axel had had to sit down and explain to her that daddy had another family and another wife and that she had a half sister who didn't really want to see her (they edited that part out though, saying Pam was just very very busy). The whole wedding thing turned out to have been Felicia's idea and she had been consistently using Jessica to tire Axel into actually marrying her. It was all very stressful as I understood it. Most of the time, it seemed, Axel acted as though he couldn't stand her and I honestly didn't understand why. He had a relationship with her before Jessica and after Jessica it carried on romantically as I understand, so why was she suddenly persona non grata? It was very strange and it made me feel weirder about the woman than before. Knowing she wasn't going to be there reduced some of my nervousness about the event.

We let Gran, Amy and Jason to have the reign of the house for the afternoon and put Axel's and Jessica's presents in the trunk of the car. Axel had bought an apartment closer to Jessica's school and Felicia. After much debate, it was decided they weren't going back to New Orleans and bought permanent residence in Shreveport. It was all Felicia ever wanted, I bet. But I try not to think much about what she wants, or I feel I'll get paranoid. We hadn't been to his new place yet and, in fact, even Eric hadn't seen much of his father after he moved out of Helen's. Pam didn't speak to him at all now and I almost thought about giving her a call and remind her it was Christmas but who was I kidding, it was Pam, you couldn't guilt her into anything.

I confess I felt a bit strange. It was like going to meet your boyfriend's parents for the first time. You don't quite know what you'll find. Will they like you? Will you like them? I didn't just feel that way about Jessica, but about Axel too. Who was my father-in-law as a separate entity? I had always sort of thought in terms of "Axel and Helen" never just "Axel." I saw Helen every week, and it was different with her – I guess because I always got along so well with her, she always did everything to make me feel like part of the family. Axel was always a bit removed, always kind to me but he usually let Helen do the talking. What was it going to be like visiting him now?

"Are you OK?" Eric asked me when we stepped outside the corridor.

"Huh?" I looked up, snapping out of my thoughts.

"You were _far_ away!" Eric laughed nervously. "Is this about Jessica? Do you still feel weird about the whole thing?" he looked worried now.

Did I feel weird about him hiding his father's family 2.0 and covering for him at the cost of our good relationship? Gee, you can't hold that over someone's head once you decide to forgive and let go. No matter how weird it _does_ make you feel, I believe in moving forward.

"No. No it's not that at all," I said hurriedly. "It's not like Jessica is your secret love child!" I laughed and stepped ahead of him to go ring the doorbell.

Eric stepped next to me and grasped my hand before confessing. "I'm nervous too."

I shot him a dubious look.

"This is what _normal_ is supposed to be like from now on. I was kind of used to it being awkward and weird."

I snorted. "Oh it's always gonna be weird, trust me."

We couldn't say anything else because the door was pulled open and to our surprise it was Stan, not Axel who was standing on the other side. Looking tall and dashing, smiling with his twinkling green eyes and holding a bottle of wine in his hand.

"Oh, the other Northmans are here!" he said cheerfully. "Do come in," He stepped back. "Sookie you look just lovely."

"Thank you, I was going to say the same to you!" I grinned and stood on my toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"Did you receive my package?" Stan asked while Eric closed the door.

"We did! We loved it!" I smiled.

Eric shot me a funny look over Stan's shoulder and Stan beamed at me before turning to pat Eric on the back.

"Dr. Northman, how have you been?"

"Just great. How's life at the top?" Eric asked politely as we started making our way past the entrance hall.

It was funny with the Northmans. You knew they had money coming out of their ears, but really you weren't likely to see them boasting it, not even in their possessions. However, it was easy to notice Axel and Helen had different opinions on what boasting was. While Helen's house was large and elegant, Axel's apartment felt like something out of a movie. It was hard to believe he had put it all together in only a few weeks. He had probably hired a decorator to do it for him. It was all tasteful and adult and severe. The living room was made in browns and beige and gray – and then suddenly, in the middle of the couch, an explosion of pink.

I remembered seeing her at the hospital – at the time she had been both excited to see Eric and nervous about her father being sick, so we never really got to meet properly. She looked up from what she was doing, which seemed to be playing with a brand new coloring book. It was striking how much she made you think of a small Pam, except she was strawberry blonde. She wore a hot pink ballerina dress and a princess crown, but if you looked at her feet she was wearing soccer shoes and grandfather socks. I stopped at the entrance to the living room, taking in the strangeness of her there in that sea of grown-uphood.

Eric stopped beside me and gently nudged me forward before calling. "Dad, we're here!" he yelled.

Jessica looked up then, a happy gasp as she dropped her crayons and leaped to her feet.

"Big brother!" she shrieked as she skipped and jumped all the way over to him and launched herself in his arms, trusting him to pick her up, which he did. "Hi Eric!"

"Hello you!" Eric grinned at her. "What are you supposed to be?" he eyed her outfit with an amused smile.

"Soccer-playing ballerina princess, _duh_!" she rolled her eyes at him.

"Ah!" Eric nodded, understanding. "The first of your kind probably."

Jessica tilted her head in confusion as Stan and I laughed at the joke. Her little blue eyes suddenly fixed on me and she looked between Eric and me for a moment, as if making the connection.

"Who's that?" she asked Eric.

Eric turned to me, with Jessica still clinging to him. "That is Sookie. She's my wife."

"Hello there!" I waved, feeling a bit awkward. "It's nice to meet you, Jessica."

"Hi!" she blinked once. "You were at the hospital that day."

"Yes, I was."

She then looked at my belly. "Daddy told me Eric was going to have a baby, is it your baby?"

I nodded. "Yes, it's my mine. Half mine anyway."

"Ah, there you are!" Axel came walking in from what I guessed to be the kitchen. "How are you doing Sookie, do you need to sit down?" he hurried over to me grasping my hands gently. "I haven't seen you in weeks, I'm so sorry! You look great!"

"Thank you Axel. It's good to see you again. How's your heart?"

"Beating," he shrugged. "Eric, good to see you son."

"Dad, merry Christmas," Eric said putting Jessica down and stepping over to hand him his present.

I let father and son have their moment and sidestepped to watch Stan trying to uncork the bottle of wine.

"So, you're not going home for the holidays?" I asked.

"I am calling my folks later, but they have three of my sisters to keep them company and half a dozen grand children."

"Wow, big family!" I gasped.

"Don't worry, we have strawberry juice for you girls!" he winked at both me and Jessica when he finally got the wine open.

Jessica looked at me curiously. "Your mommy doesn't let you drink either?"

"Uh, no that's not it. You can't drink that stuff when you're pregnant," I explained.

"Why not?" she frowned, tilting her pretty head at me.

I shrugged. "It's not good for the baby."

"But it's good for you?"

"It can be, yes."

"Huh… that's weird."

"What's weird?" Eric asked, joining us.

"Sookie can't drink even though wine is good for her, but it's not good for the baby."

Eric looked from Jessica to me and I shrugged, handing him the package containing Jessica's Christmas gift.

"Oh yeah! Jessie, Merry Christmas. This is from Sookie and me."

We got her a pink rabbit plush toy which she seemed to enjoy. Axel had prepared some snacks since he knew we would have a full Christmas supper later at home and we sat together to catch up. Boys will be boys and they started talking about the renovating prices for the apartment and that's when I found out it had been one of Stan's sisters who decorated it for him. There was a bit more awkward ahead when Axel decided to ask after Pam and it caught Jessica's interest, even though she had been playing obliviously the whole time we were talking. Eric tried to fill his Dad in what Pam had been doing as delicately as possible while trying to make excuses as to why she hadn't met Jessica yet.

When Stan offered to get rid of the empty dishes I quickly offered to help and we scurried off to the kitchen.

"So, does Pam never really even call him?" I asked Stan when we were alone.

"Never," Stan shrugged. "Axel tries to sound like he doesn't care – but he misses her."

I sighed. "I'm sure she misses him too, but she's too stubborn."

I helped Stan put things back together in the kitchen despite his protests. I suppose the whole family drama brought Axel and Stan closer together. I never would have expected them to be spending the holidays together – Stan had family back in Texas after all. I guess I underestimated the friendship between the two families. With Axel losing most of his, it was very kind of Stan to stick around and keep him company. We chatted a bit in the kitchen and I learned Axel was really more depressed than he was letting on and that he was trying to convince him to not give up his C.E.O. position just yet. It wasn't that Stan didn't dream high, but he still maintained there was no one better for the position currently, not even him. Stan's family had their own businesses and he had to watch over those as well.

We heard the doorbell ringing and I wondered aloud who it could be, Stan shrugged saying maybe someone from the Company had come to wish happy holidays. We stayed in the kitchen a bit longer, putting more snacks together for whoever had arrived and I dutifully carried a small tray out back into the living room, barely containing my surprise at seeing it was actually Felicia.

She stood near the entryway – dressed in red – her blond hair in a chignon – she looked very elegant and poised – like every other time I saw her, save from the night at the hospital. She was speaking to Eric quietly while Jessica tugged at her hand to try and get her attention. Axel was nowhere to be seen.

"Ah, Felicia. Merry Christmas!" I heard Stan saying behind me as he came from the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas, Stan!" Felicia smiled at him, only then noticing me there. "Oh, hello Sookie! Merry Christmas to you too."

I stared back at her speechlessly until Eric shot me a funny look and I snapped. "Merry Christmas… Felicia."

"Now where is Axel? We need to go, I couldn't find a good parking space," she said to no one in particular as she checked her watch.

"Mommy do we really have to go?" Jessica whined.

"Yes sweetheart. You want to see Grandma, don't you? She came just to see you!"

"But I wanted to sleep in my new room!"

"You will sweetheart, just some other night," she patted her head placatingly. "Now let me go find your dad. He's making me wait on purpose," she huffed walking past her daughter and Eric.

"Let me get that for you." Stan stepped next to me and took the tray from my hands politely before depositing on the table.

"Right, I'm sorry!" I blurted out nervously. "I spaced out."

Stan smiled sympathetically. "It's no problem."

"We should get going too," I told Eric. "I want to get back in time to help with stuff. We can't be crappy hosts."

"Right, sure," Eric checked his own watch and looked up, expecting to see his Dad return.

It was only fifteen minutes later Axel re-emerged, followed by Felicia and we told him we had to go. Felicia sat down on the couch comfortably with a satisfied look on her face – Axel looked glum. We said our goodbyes and left.

"What's up between them anyway?" I asked Eric once we were in the car. "Are they together or not? Your dad acts as though he hates her!"

Eric was quiet for a moment until he shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

She looked like a manipulating bitch to me, that's what she looked like. That look on her face when they came back... She'd talked him into doing something he didn't want to – I wondered if her mother would be coming to Axel's apartment next. It seemed like Felicia was invested in making Axel accept her no matter what.

"So uh…" Eric started, drawing me out of my musings. "What did Stan send us?"

"Oh!" I laughed, remembering Stan mentioning the package. "He sent us a baby basket for Lukas. It was really nice of him. I put it in the nursery but it arrived on the same day Gran, Jason and Amy did so I completely forgot about it. It's got all those bath things baby need and a teddy bear. It's really cute."

"Ah."

"You like Stan right?" I asked suddenly uncertain.

"He's my Dad's partner – of course I do."

"That was a bit of a non-answer, Eric." I told him, annoyed.

Eric winked at me. "I'm being politically correct."

"You're still his son," I told him.

Eric rolled his eyes. "What do you think I'm jealous?"

"I don't know! I'm guessing here."

"He's fine, he does his job and he's a good friend to him. I don't really know him that well though."

"But it was a nice gesture… the basket."

"Yes it was. We'll send him something in thanks after Christmas."

"That's a nice idea." I sighed and leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. "It's all in the Christmas spirit."

Eric snorted. "I'm just glad you have one again," he teased before he planted a kiss on the top of my head. "Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro are coming for supper right?" he asked suddenly.

"Yep, and Grace," I smiled.

"Good, otherwise all their gifts would stay there until New Year's eve."

"D'you think we bought way too many presents for Grace?" I chuckled.

Eric laughed. "We'll let Tara decide."

"Oh then it's going to be a definite yes."

xxxxxx


	25. Chapter 25

xxxxxx

**EPOV**

So we got a little carried away with Gracie's presents - Tara would have to forgive us. It was kind of hard not to get carried away when we were dying for Lukas's first Christmas and he wasn't even out yet. Most of the stuff she wouldn't wear or enjoy until she was a little older, but it was fine. The house was full yet again but it was the best Christmas I could remember in, well, years. Mom and Pam came in early to help and the kitchen was just bursting with people. Sookie, Adele, Amy, mom and even Pam wrestled themselves in there at some point - she did make good eggnog, I had to give her that. Tara was spared because she had new mommy stuff to do - she sat on the couch with Gracie while random people would come and go to gawk at them. Jason, Chow and I had to make the table work for everybody. Lafayette and Alejandro were floating between Tara and the kitchen. We sat down to eat while Grace took a nap and later we just spread to chat, drink and exchange presents.

Mom asked after dad and Jessica, since she knew we had visited them today - Pam however, simply pretended she wasn't listening and fucked off to go sit with Tara and Sookie while they gushed over Grace's little bare feet. Mom was doing surprisingly well - she told me about the new club she joined with her friends and how she was planning a little trip to Miami with two of them in a couple of months. She really looked nice, and healthier than she had looked before. I guess divorce suited her. Dad in turn looked older and sickly, and though he _was_ sick, I knew part of it was losing mom - he was an asshole, but she had been his best friend and companion for over 40 years.

I sat down on the couch to catch up with Chow while we drank some of Pam's eggnog. We hadn't seen each other since Steve's wedding earlier in the month.

"How's the writing going?" Chow asked.

"I won't be working on that until after Lukas is born - I have a meeting with Compton early in the year to go over some notes though."

"That's the dude with an open marriage right?" Chow asked with interest.

"You sure get around don't you? Who told you that?" I snorted.

"Pammie," he nodded towards my sister, who was actually attempting to hold Gracie, for Tara and Pam's amusement. "We went drinking one night - she was rather beat up about your OBGYN," he paused, grinning. "Or Sookie's."

"Yeah poor Pam," I said taking a sip from my eggnog. I suddenly frowned. "Wait... you went out with my sister?"

Chow shrugged. "She was looking a bit down, I thought she could use a couple drinks. What, can't I be a nice guy?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Sure you can."

Chow chuckled and finished his drink. "Steve and Sarah invited me over for dinner in two weeks. How are the newlyweds doing?"

I shrugged, staring off into space as I started feeling pleasantly warm and fuzzy. "Just fine I guess - Steve has been perkier than usual so you know..."

"You know I used to think he was always high when I met him?" Chow said, his voice as drowsy sounding as mine - I guess Pam had made exceptionally strong eggnog tonight.

I snorted. "Yeah me too."

"He kind of reminded me of a girl I went out with once - except she had bigger boobs. You remember her, Beth!"

"Yeah Beth," I nodded faintly, hell Pam had been nasty! "Was she the dog walker?"

"Kindergarten teacher!" Chow corrected me. "Josie was the dog walker."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes and tried shaking the fuzz out of my head. "Right."

"Josie had a _really_ nice pair too..."

I frowned, looking over to Chow - ready to relieve him from his eggnog since it was clearly turning him into a dick. His glass was empty and forgotten next to him and I laughed realizing he had probably drunk it too fast.

"I think we should douse that eggnog with some cake," I suggested laughing.

"Make it double." Then he sniggered boyishly. "_Double_."

I narrowed my eyes and followed his gaze, which was rather glassy and lost. I then realized where he had been staring at and sobered up. Sookie was standing next to Pam while Pam held and cuddled Gracie, Tara was seated on the center table in front of them, talking. Sookie was arching her back and rubbing her lower back, probably to relieve her discomfort, it caused_ the girls_ to become more prominent, not that they needed any help with that, especially now.

"Stop staring at my wife's breasts," I told him.

"Sorry buddy, they stared at me first," Chow replied with a silly grin.

Out of nowhere a heavy tray descended upon Chow's head with a _thunk_. We both turned on the couch to see Adele there, holding the offending object and giving Chow the nasty eye. "Don't be gross Mr. Ling! I'm not above kicking you out for bad behavior!"

"Mrs. Stackhouse! I can only imagine how magnificent you would be holding a shotgun!" Chow said admiringly.

I rolled my eyes, he wasn't even joking either - he loved tough women - but for God sake's that was _Gran_.

"Don't be cute with me!" Adele pointed her finger at him.

I slapped the back of his head and stood up, motioning for him to follow me. We went into the kitchen and I pushed a slice of cake onto his hand before grabbing one for myself. We walked back to stand near the window and Chow started telling me about work. He had been in his best behavior and then Sookie was walking up to us a curious smile on her face.

"So Chow, how's Crystal doing?" she asked, sliding into my side and throwing me a lopsided grin that I had to roll my eyes at.

"Crystal?" Chow asked, looking between us curiously. "Aaah! Nurse Crystal!"

Sookie's knowing smile became a frown and I put my arm around her soothingly while not looking at either of them.

"Yes... _Nurse_ Crystal!" Sookie rolled her eyes. "How is she doing?"

Chow shrugged. "I don't know, ask Eric, he works with her." he then patted her shoulder. "Looking good by the way Sook. Let me go get me more cake."

Sookie watched him go with her mouth dropping. I pressed my lips to the top of her hair and steered her back to the couch. Lafayette offered her his hand and helped her sit down next to him before he slipped a gift-wrapped rectangular box onto her legs.

"Merry Christmas, Sook."

I left them to it and walked back to join Chow by the kitchen door. We each leaned against one side of the doorframe and watched on as people chatted and exchanged presents.

"So, did she really bet you 50 bucks on Crystal?" Chow asked after a beat.

"Yep," I looked at him narrowing my eyes. "You _did_ see her again didn't you?"

Chow just gave me a mysteriously look and took another sip of what I hoped to God was water.

"So, what are you going to do with yourself next year?" I asked him shoving my hands down my pockets.

"You mean other than look into dating breastfeeding moms?" Chow teased.

Tara had just been walking by us, cuddling Grace to her chest, and she stopped to glare at him before she looked at me. "I have my hands full, would you mind?"

I retrieved one hand from my pocket and gladly swatted Chow on the back of the head. Tara smiled approvingly at me before she walked away.

"You gotta stop trying to get on her good side - she's immune to your backwards charm," I chuckled.

"_No one_ is immune!" Chow said in a mocking bad-guy voice.

I walked over to Pam and sat next to her as she was opening one of my gifts - she smiled when she saw I had gotten her her favorite bath kits and a book by one of her favorite feminists. I reached over and squeezed her arm, planting a kiss on her hair.

"Merry Christmas, sis."

"Merry Christmas pea-brain."

"So, since when do you hang out with Chow?"

She snorted at me. "Eric, you do know I'm a lesbian?"

"Does _he_?"

Pam laughed. "Don't worry, he was actually pretty decent company."

"And are you doing alright?" I asked tentatively.

"I am!" she said too quickly. "Don't worry about me."

"Dad asked after you." I told her.

"Humph..." she looked down feigning uninterest as she flicked through the book pages. "Pam, I know your anger is what gives you strength right now, but it's not going to always be so. Dad is getting old, he has a heart condition - are you going to wait for his next AMI to talk to him again?"

That got Pam to look up, her eyes wide and, for the very first time in a while, truly vulnerable. She looked away and cleared her throat. "And how is he doing?"

"He misses you for one."

Pam rolled her eyes at me as if she thought I wasn't being fair - I just smiled, tugged her hair a little and stood to leave her alone thinking some more.

It was finally my turn to hold Gracie a little and I sat down between Sookie and Tara to do it - she was tiny as hell, but she was really cute - as far as babies go she was one of the prettiest I had seen - although, that's probably not saying much - I had seen many sickly, undernourished babies coming into the world.

The night carried on for longer than we'd anticipated - but oddly, we didn't get too tired. Even Sookie was pretty awake by the time people started talking of leaving. I helped mom into her coat and she gave me a loud peck on the cheek before smiling brightly at me. "I think you finally got through to her, Eric?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Did I?"

Mom winked at me. "She called him."

Oh well that was something. All we really wanted, was for them to be in speaking terms.

After Amy and Adele were properly tucked in in the nursery and Jason sprawled and snoring in the living room I put away the last of the left overs in the fridge and walked into our bedroom – I heard the shower running and decided it was probably a good idea after the long day.

"Oh so here is where you've been keeping my Christmas present!" I said as I slid into the stall behind her.

"Ooh, you found it!" Sookie sniggered as I spooned into her, dipping to kiss her shoulder. "Sorry I didn't even have time to gift-wrap it!" she teased in a mock-sexy voice, batting her eyelashes at me.

"No, I like it this way!" I teased back running my hands down her arms before I slid them to her lower back - she moaned happily and I knew it was from the comfort it provided and not from actual arousal. "That good?"

"Yup!" she groaned out, leaning on the wall and pulling her hair away from her neck to let the water pour down and massage it for her.

I grabbed the soap and started soaping her up - she looked over her shoulder and smiled gratefully as I worked the kinks on her back. I knew just where she ached, so I gave those spots special attention.

"Do you remember last Christmas?" I blurted out.

Sookie was quiet for a moment. "Not really."

I chuckled. "Flat tire on the drive back from Bon Temps."

"Oh yeah..." Sookie laughed bitterly. "God I hated that day."

"And it was followed by an even worse New Year's eve," I said as I shampooed her hair.

Sookie nodded. "You broke René's nose at Claudine's party."

"Asshole had it coming," I shrugged.

René Lenier was one of Claudine's journalists between 2008 and 2011. He was a class A dick who slept his way around the entire WVN and liked telling people about it. He of course, liked teasing the married ones just to tick them off and I knew he often got on Sookie's case and grilled her at work. He was a bully but he was one of those star journalists that get a pat on the back whenever they do something reproachable. At Claudine's New Year's Eve party he angered Sookie a bit too much, and I, very much at a breaking point back then, ended up taking out my frustration by landing my fist on the guy's face. Claudine said I was the talk of WVN for the next two months – much to Sookie's chagrin. It did not win me any brownie points with her – even though she could admit the asshole had been asking for it.

Mostly I felt like an idiot about it. Adults were not supposed to go around acting like boys. But we were both on our nerve's ends and we ended up doing some stupid shit along the way I guess.

"Eric…" Sookie turned around, soaping her hands to return the favor. "Why are we talking about crappy times?" she started soaping up my chest, very focused on her task.

I reached up to run my fingers through her hair to help rinse the shampoo off. "I don't know. I just couldn't help remembering last Christmas and all." We really did have a couple of shitty years after the miscarriage – worse than all the seven years together after my father's crap started. "Does it feel to you like we were other people?" I mused out loud.

Sookie tilted her head at me. "Huh… I guess it does, actually. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged, nudging her around so I could stand under the spray of water. "The holidays always make me think."

"Yeah… " Sookie said behind me. "I hate that about them."

I laughed and turned back to seize her into my arms, bringing her as close as her bump would allow. "I'm glad you're back to enjoying them at least."

Sookie grinned. "Me too. Now seriously, where's my present?"

I waggled my eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes. "Seriously? That's the best you can do?"

I frowned at her in mock hurt but she kept her eyes narrowed and took a step away. I finally sighed. "It's under the bed. It's the only place you wouldn't look." Well she couldn't really.

Sookie squealed clapping her soppy hands excitedly. "Then let's go get it!"

I'd gotten her a new dress, a scarf, a sweater and some earrings. But the thing that really made her tear up was the little heart-shaped gold plate necklace with _Lukas's_ name engraved on it. She in turn gave me two new shirts in her favorite colors, cologne and a miniature mock-typewriter – for the new author's desk, she'd said.

"Did you like it?" she asked hesitatingly as she watched me unwrap it.

"You have a lot of faith in me, huh?" I grinned at her.

She shrugged. "I'm just proud of you. You can put it on your desk to hold all that useless paper you have down – whenever you look at it you'll remember you're a published author!"

"Not yet I'm not."

"But you will be," she reached over and kissed my chin. "You better dedicate it to me and Lukas though. Or I'll skin you alive."

I laughed. "Don't worry about that." I rubbed her arm and pulled her into my side to kiss her forehead. "Merry Christmas, Sookie."

xxxxxx

New Years Eve 2012 was also a huge improvement on the last. Pam actually threw a party herself at her apartment. To our surprise she invited Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro and spent most of the night carrying Gracie around. Tara was very grateful for the break and she sat down with Sookie as they nursed one cool soft drink after the other – both very annoyed they couldn't drink like adults this year. Chow made an appearance, but he left before midnight which was very suspicious – probably a girl he had to go somewhere and kiss. Mother seemed even perkier than she was on Christmas and I had to babysit her to keep her from drinking too much – she was rather giggly and it was strange as hell.

"Leave your mother alone, Eric Northman!" Claudine laughed as she chased me away after I refused to get my mother another daiquiri. "She is a single, beautiful woman who just wants to have a little fun!"

"She can do that sober!" I countered.

"Who can do what sober?" Sookie asked as she joined us by bar.

"Mom can be...single and beautiful while sober," I repeated.

"Oh Eric don't be such a baby!" Sookie swatted my arm. "She's just happy!"

I watched as Pam handed mom a colorful tropical drink and sent me a wink over her shoulder, I just glared at her.

At midnight I called Dad, wished him a Happy New Year and then handed the phone to Pam, who actually asked for it to my surprise – she exchanged a few brief and polite words with him before giving it back to me. Before I knew she had Gracie in her arms again and was showing her off to a Korean couple she had invited while Tara laughed at her enthusiasm. Pam surely had quite the year as well and I hoped she was looking to have a better one.

"It's Gran," Sookie whispered handing me her phone.

"Hello Adele, Happy New Year!"

"_Happy New Year, Eric dear!_"

After the fireworks died down and people started to say good night, I lost sight of Sookie for a bit, and I found her later, on Pam's balcony, looking out to the now foggy sky while she rubbed her bump absent mindedly. The look in her eyes let me know what she was thinking about and I approached her silently, sliding my arms around her - resting a hand on the side of her belly and the other on her hand, twining our fingers together.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked gently. Sookie nodded. "Ok. Then let' go," I started tugging at her hand and when I turned her around she had tears in her eyes. "Sweetheart…" I folded her into my arms. "It's OK. Lukas is safe. It's not happening again."

"I'll know it when it's January 2," she sniffled into my chest.

I hadn't realized she had put that kind a weight on today's date and I felt like an ass for not anticipating it. We drove home and we lay in bed with me holding her until she finally fell asleep. I woke her up in the morning, kissing her all over her tummy until she giggled and squirmed, complaining I should shave a.s.a.p. Lukas seemed to have enjoyed the tickle fest and when I returned, wiping my face on a towel, Sookie was sitting up against the headboard, watching her belly move as our boy kicked up a storm in there.

"Now he'll be like this all day!" she chuckled as I fell into bed again.

I smiled, watching her contentment as she looked down at her belly and felt him move inside her. That's what I wanted, to remind her this was different now – we weren't going to lose him. She did feel better and I didn't see that shadow in her eyes again all through the day, not even when I caught her by herself – even then she looked lighter, happier and confident.

Three to four weeks from now we would finally have Lukas with us and I felt even more optimistic about the new year.

xxxxxx


	26. Chapter 26

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

Unlike his friend Grace Thornton, who had been in a hurry – Lukas was far too comfortable and warm inside me to dignify us with his presence. One week after the due date I was starting to get really restless and worried – January was a damnable month anyway. Lorena said we could wait one week more, but I wouldn't have it and, Eric, probably knowing why I was so nervous, encouraged the decision to induce labor. I knew I had been a hag in that final stretch, but Eric, and both our families had been very understanding and I thanked him with tearful eyes and squeezed his hand when Lorena's team arrived to put me under the IV drug.

"It's going to be OK, sweetheart," Eric assured me sweetly, bending over to kiss my already damp forehead. "Don't be nervous."

Lorena walked closer to fix the dosage and she looked down at me encouragingly with a smile.

"OK mommy?"

"You tell me…" I breathed nervously, feeling as Eric started stroking my hair soothingly.

Lorena put her hand over mine and squeezed gently. "It's going to be alright Sookie. This is not that unusual. Ask your husband!" she looked across the bed at Eric pointedly.

I looked back at him apologetically – he _had_ said the same, repeatedly – I was just a wreck. Eric smiled forgivingly and continued stroking my hair. Perhaps I was just paranoid, but I think I detected a hint of fear in his eyes as well. After all I was his wife, the fetus killer, the can't-hold-onto-as-sperm girl…

"We will be monitoring your contractions and baby – I'll come back and fix the dosage within the hour," Lorena explained. "If you have any questions, Sandy can probably answer them, or she'll get me, OK?" I nodded. "We're going to coax Lukas into the world today Mrs. Northman, I promise you that!"

And so it was, I have no idea how many hours and a lot of pushing later, I heard Lukas's first cry and I burst into tears myself, filled with joy and relief. My eyes were swimming with tears and I had to blink them away to finally be able to _look_ at him when Eric carried him over to me, wrapped in a soft blue bundle – he was so tiny in his arms.

"Oh!" I gasped, reaching out.

Eric gently placed him in my arms and I was vaguely aware of him talking to me, I think I heard clapping inside the delivery room, but I wasn't sure. Eric was kissing my forehead and speaking to me, but I guess I was blind and deaf to anything but my baby.

The tiny, blotchy red creature in my arms was crying and I gasped when he finally opened his small puffy eyes – they were blue like his father's and I brushed my fingers over the hint of pale blonde hair on his head.

"Hi Lukas!" I squeaked at him. "I'm so glad you could join us!" I laughed amidst my tears.

I could hear Eric's echoing laughter and I finally looked up at him, there was so much joy and love in his eyes – ocean blue eyes like our baby's – and I smiled at him.

"He's so beautiful!"

"I know," Eric leaned down to place a feather-light kiss on his son's head. "He's perfect, Sookie..."

"Congratulations mommy and daddy!" Lorena smiled at us as a nurse helped her out of her apron. "Can I have him for a bit?"

I reluctantly allowed the nurse to take him and lay back against my pillows, feeling the exhaustion taking over. Eric squeezed my hand gently as my eyes followed my baby as he was laid over a blanketed metal desk and Lorena and another nurse poured over him. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, until they closed against my will – I was so so tired….

Fortunately they nudged me awake shortly after and then we were moved back to my private room. Lukas's crib was brought into the room and the nurse gently placed him in it, clean and all cleared out. Our baby was just lazy, but he was healthy – thank God.

Gran and Helen arrived together and both fussed over the baby and who he looked like more. Apparently he had Grandpa Earl's ears and Helen's brother's eyebrows… I thought he just had Eric's eyes and Eric's chin, he even had the same cute dimple. Jason and Amy and Pam came in next – and in Jason's opinion – Lukas had his nose. Pam agreed with me, he was just a tiny Eric – although she was less excited about it than me. Lafayette and Alejandro thought he looked like me, but, what do they know? Finally Tara arrived, bringing little Gracie to meet her new best friend – of course, she was far too tiny to even register anything and mostly just seemed irritated they weren't home and she wasn't being fed.

Breastfeeding was… interesting. Apparently I was very fortunate and my milk was plenty. Lukas looked like he had quite the appetite – which was good news. Gracie had been giving Tara some problems in that area.

The nurses were a bit irritated by the amount of people in the room – but because Eric was staff, it was allowed. I was pretty exhausted from earlier but I was so proud and so happy with all the people gawking at my baby I didn't mind.

"Knock knock!" Steve Newlin said at the door.

I looked up from my sleeping baby – he had just fed and was happily snoozing in the cradle of my arms. I beamed at him. "Steve!"

"Hello… everyone!" his eyes made a sweep of the room and Jason, Amy, Pam, Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro nodded back at him. Gran was back in the apartment for the night – Helen drove her on her way home. "isn't this the wildest party in the whole hospital?"

"Yes it is," I smiled sheepishly. "Thank you so much for allowing it Dr. Newlin!"

Steve stepped closer and peered down into the cocoon of blankets in my arms. "There's the little fella! Looks just like his Dad." I beamed at him. "Speaking of which? Where's the culprit?"

"I got him to go and shower and eat before coming back."

"Ah! Good idea. Sarah sends her best wishes. She'll be dropping by for a visit tomorrow."

"Oh! That's so sweet of her, thanks."

"How's little Grace doing Tara?" Steve asked nodding at the quiet infant in her arms.

"She's a handful," Tara snorted.

"It's great isn't it?"

"The best," Tara beamed.

We were distracted by an actual knock on the open door and a child bustling in noisily.

"IS HE HERE? IS LUKAS HERE?"

I looked up in surprise to see Jessica dashing forward, her strawberry blonde curls bobbing prettily as she bounced forward. Looking over the door I saw Axel, his knuckles still posed politely at the door and an apologetic look in his eyes.

"IS THAT LUKAS?" the child asked loudly.

"Ssshh… yes Jess, it is – now lower your voice or you'll wake him up!" I hushed her as she clambered up on my bedside to see.

Steve looked surprised – his eyes going from Jessica to Axel and back. My eyes then travelled to Pam whose own eyes were wide as she regarded, for the very first time, her little half-sister. Tara, Lafayette, Alejandro, Jason and Amy all exchanged uncomfortable looks.

"Is this Lukas?" Jessica repeated in a hushed voice, well a child's hushed voice which can still be pretty loud.

I chuckled and nodded, angling my arms a little so she could peer into his face. Jessica smiled happily as Axel scooted closer to support her so she wouldn't fall off the bed.

"Hello Sookie," he muttered apologetically. "I'm sorry, I'm too old to contain a five year-old it seems."

I smiled at my father-in-law and shook my head. "It's OK, Axel."

Jessica tilted her head. "He's kind of blotchy isn't he?"

I heard a murmur of restrained laughter from Jason and I glared at him.

"Most new babies look like this," I explained.

"Oh… hello Pam. I'm sorry I didn't know you would still be here… I called Helen…" Axel looked disconcerted as he found his daughter sitting on the couch between Tara and Amy.

Pam was glaring at her father and I gulped. Jessica's head snapped up at the mention of her elusive half sister and she gasped.

I cleared my throat. "Jessica… you haven't met Pam yet, have you?" I looked at Pam pleadingly.

For a moment Pam turned her glare on me, but I switched on my most effective puppy dog eyes and she finally sighed –turning her eyes on her sister as she stood up, smoothing down her slacks.

"Hi… Jessica."

Jessica looked up at her half-sister open-mouthedly and I could tell from the look in her eyes she was very impressed.

"Hi…" she said, oddly timid for the Jessica I knew.

"Pam came over to visit Lukas too!" I said to fill the silence.

"Oh!" Jessica said, not removing her eyes from her sister.

"So, how are you doing dear?" Axel looked down at me worriedly.

"I am doing just fine…" I saw the way he was looking at Lukas. "Would you like to hold your grandson?"

Axel's eyes twinkled. "May I?"

"Of course!"

Axel hoisted Jessica off the bed and put her on her feet next to him before he leaned over to pick the baby up in his arms. He held him close to him and my heart warmed. He looked so proud. His very first grandson.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I hurried and threw my clean shirt over my head – eager to get back to Sookie's room and to our son. I was still reeling from the day's events – but so happy. When it became clear Sookie would need an induced labor, I panicked. I knew how sensitive she was to the whole baby thing and how she was afraid we could still lose him. It wasn't the baby I was worried for – I was sure my boy was alright – but I couldn't bear to see Sookie torturing herself anymore.

Fortunately it had all gone well. She was exhausted and it took a while, but Lukas was finally with us and he was perfect. I didn't know just how bad I wanted to be a Dad until I was. I had always wanted kids, but something about him finally being here – it was amazing. I didn't want to leave their side at all, but Sookie insisted I got cleaned and ate something so I humored her. But I was just going to get a quick snack and rush back.

"Congratulations, Doc!" Crystal looked up from her chart as I walked by her Nurse Station. "Your boy's cute!"

I beamed at her. "Have you seen him?"

She nodded. "I popped in just after you left! Quite a loyal crowd you guys have in there too!"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I know, they just won't leave."

"I didn't see Chow though…" Crystal commented offhandedly, "I thought he was your best friend."

"Uh yeah… I called him, but he was stuck in a meeting. He promised he'd drop by tomorrow."

"Ah…" Crystal looked back down her chart. "Well your boy is just adorable, Eric. He's a mini you."

I grinned proudly. "He really is isn't he?"

"Sookie made me promise I wouldn't let you skip your meal!" Crystal looked at me pointedly. "Have you eaten yet?"

"I was going to the Cafeteria now, ma'am," I chuckled.

Crystal grinned. "I'll come with you, I have fifteen minutes – I'll tell you all the gossip you missed while you were busy being a Dad and all that."

"Ah," I gestured towards the elevators. "After you."

I chose the tuna sandwich and a coke and Crystal picked an apple and we sat down.

"I saw the flower arrangement Niall brought your wife!" Crystal grinned. "He's kissing your ass isn't he?"

"As he should," I teased.

"So is Sookie alright?" she smiled sympathetically. I had told her how worried she had been making me during the past week.

"Yeah, now that it's over she's… she's great," I smiled, relieved.

"Hey, Lukas just wanted it to be February!" Crystal shrugged. "February is the best month anyway!"

I grinned. "Really? When is your birthday Crystal?"

"Next week," she muttered into her apple.

I shook my head. "Can I ask you how old you're going to be?"

"That would be rude, Eric!" she admonished me. "Finish your sandwich!"

"Yes, mom."

I finished my sandwich, downed the rest of my coke and wished Crystal a goodnight before I rushed back upstairs. I was out of the elevator in time to see the doors of the elevator across from me closing in on Jason and Amy who waved animatedly. I waved back.

I saw Lafayette and Alejandro talking by the coffee machine and they waved at me too. I started back to Sookie's room – and pulled the door open eagerly.

We were having another Twilight Zone moment, it seemed. I walked in to see Pam, holding Lukas in her arms, sitting on the left corner of the couch. Perched on the arm-rest next to her was our half-sister Jessica, happily peering into Lukas as Pam angled him closer to her. They talked in whispered tones. Tara sat next to Pam, holding Grace and she threw me a knowing look – yeah, she was surprised too.

I looked over to the bed and Sookie was smiling at me. Next to her stood my father, who watched his two daughters, and his grandson, with something like relief etched on his face. I shook my head to clear it from the weirdness and closed the door behind me before I stepped closer to the bed.

"Hey, did you eat?" Sookie offered me her hand which I grasped and squeezed.

"Yes."

"Ah, Eric!" only then my father saw me, and he clasped me on my back. "Congratulations son."

"Thanks Dad," I patted his back as well.

"Well done, he's a beautiful baby."

"That's all Sookie," I said and Sookie rolled her eyes at me.

I looked back to the little eerie scene across from us. My sister holding a baby again, my baby this time, and she seemed to be getting along just fine with her half-sister whom, until this morning, she didn't want to have anything to do with. Jessica seemed to be asking her a lot of baby-related-questions and Pam answered them patiently. It was a relief really.

Axel and Jessica didn't stay long, it was a school night after all, and he had to drive Jessie back. Pam offered Tara a ride home and they left too. It was finally just my wife, our baby and I in the room. Sookie was finally able to take a shower and when she came back, I was sitting on the chair next to the crib, holding Lukas as he had just woken up – he was pretty quiet, and he looked at me with wide eyes. Sookie scooted over to sit next to me and we both stared at our son, completely bewitched.

"I can't believe he's finally here." Sookie sighed.

"Me neither," I threw an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, planting a kiss on her damp hair. "You did so great today Sookie."

Sookie sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I know. I was pretty amazing. Drugs and all."

I chuckled and we kept watching Lukas as he watched us back – until he became tired of our staring match and burst into tears – announcing it was time to feed him.

The following morning we were visited by Claudine, Chow, Stan Baker, Sarah Newlin and again by mom. They released us in the late afternoon and I drove us home.

When we put the little guy in his bassinet in our room and he immediately went to sleep I sighed, locking an arm around Sookie to keep her close to me. She was pretty tired but she stood there with me a little. I wasn't ready to let go yet. For the last few months I wondered if I'd ever get that urge to go somewhere else, that unsettling feeling I got that prompted me to different parts of the world. I knew, as I looked down at our son, that it would be a long time before I wanted to be anywhere else. I also knew that, for a while back there, I would not have been here at all. I would have been sent to my own apartment and granted weekly visiting rights. The thought alone made me ill. I instinctively pulled Sookie even closer to my side as I contemplated that and she looked up at me curiously.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I nodded. I was more than alright.

I was exactly where I should be.

xxxxxxx


	27. Chapter 27

xxxxxx

**SPOV**

"Your baby is so quiet!" the tall dark haired woman said suddenly from her seat.

I looked up from my cup of tea and paper and smiled politely, doing the obligatory nod. She had been stealing glances at us since we arrived at the coffee house next to my favorite bookstore at the mall. I could swear I'd seen her eye the stroller with resigned dread and a sigh. I imagine she was expecting Lukas to start bawling any second and ruin her peace. But the little angel was napping quietly and unmoving, like he always did.

"How old is he?" she asked in a hushed voice.

She was sitting on the table across from us, by herself. Given her attire she probably worked in one of the posh office buildings across the street. She looked to be around her forties, very elegant.

"Eleven weeks!" I answered – another short, polite smile.

"Well he's beautiful!" the woman was suddenly half-standing from her seat, peering tentatively into the stroller.

Ah it was one of those anti-children business women. You know the ones. Their shoes alone cost more than your entire outfit combined. They go to the hairdresser once a week, get their nails done just as often and they usually are the ones that turn up their noses and tut, shaking their blow dried heads at you when your kids embarrass you in the supermarket. Lukas seemed to be the antidote to them.

"Thank you!" I smiled, putting my paper down, and turning on my chair to tuck the stroller closer and check on baby Lukas as he slept.

His long, blonde eyelashes fanned over his plump little cheeks. He twitched his nose slightly when I reached over and tickled the dimple on his chin.

"What is his name?" she asked.

"Lukas."

"That's adorable!" the woman said, now she was on her feet, next to the stroller, leaning over to take a closer peek. "Oh, I'm sorry! Karen Olsen!" she struck out her hand.

"Sookie Northman," I shook hers. "Do you have any kids?"

"Me? Oh gosh no!" she laughed and immediately widened her eyes. "I mean… I _love_ them… really. But…" she shook her head. "No time."

I nodded knowingly. "Hmmhmm…."

She fussed over Lukas a little bit more before she went away with her lukewarm cup of coffee. I guess I was just lucky. Having already followed a bit of Tara's life as a new mommy shortly before my own baby arrived, I had been initially worried by how quiet Lukas was. Baby Grace was so active and loud during her first weeks I started to think maybe there was something wrong with Lukas (paranoid, yes, I know). Lorena just laughed at me when I brought up my worries and insisted he was fine.

He was just not into crying a lot! In fact, I swear I saw him stare at Grace disapprovingly when she started bawling next to him on my bed when Tara came over to hang out once. OK, perhaps it wasn't disapproval. So I cooled down after that, and decided to enjoy the fact my baby was apparently _zen_. After a while, I would burst with pride whenever someone, especially other moms, would gush at how quiet and sweet he was when they held him for over five minutes and he wouldn't cry. Tara would sometimes give me the stink eye when she realized I got just a bit of a kick out of being complimented for my baby's behavior while all she usually got with Gracie was "well… she's rather lively, isn't she?"

"Hey there beautiful!"

I jolted in my seat when Eric appeared from behind me and kissed my cheek before I even saw him.

"Christ, you can't just jump on me like that!" I swatted him with my rolled up paper when he sat next to me after quickly checking on Lukas in his stroller.

"Why? Were you expecting another man, sweetheart?" he waggled his eyebrows playfully as he bit into the biscuit he just stole from my basket.

"Yes actually…" I eyed him up and down critically. "One that showered after gym, at least."

Eric narrowed his yes at me while he silently chewed his biscuit. I looked down at my paper before I betrayed myself and started laughing.

"Really?" Eric made a show out of smelling his arm pits. "I'm still fresh, I think."

I couldn't help it then and I snorted into my tea cup, eliciting a satisfied smirk from him. We had a little fight in the morning. I had, perhaps a bit unnecessarily, developed a certain jealous streak. Gym was my rival now. But it wasn't an unfounded animosity towards an inanimate building! Back when we were having problems, especially in the last couple of years, gym had been Eric's escape when he didn't have a plane ticket to rescue him. He was incredibly fit when we were at our worst. Shortly after Lukas was born, he'd taken up to going more often – Chow had talked him into it and now it was every other day – definitely weekly.

The thought of him sweating up in a gym filled with fit, young women just chaffed me, especially since I was still carrying baby weight, and feeling generally unsexy and frumpy-looking. Smelling of baby sick while the girls of the gym probably smelled like Gatorade and mint.

"So how's Chow?" I asked after he was done eating my biscuit and started tickling Lukas's little foot.

"He's fine. You'll see him soon." Eric smiled when Lukas kicked uncoordinatedly in response, still asleep too!

"Why does that sound like a threat, Eric?" I asked putting my paper down.

Eric looked up, a suddenly mysterious look on his face. "Well he wants us to have dinner with his new girlfriend."

I cocked an eyebrow dubiously, shrugged and picked up the crossword puzzle section. The waitress came along to get Eric's order and I had to roll my eyes when I heard the flirty tone of her voice. Seriously, did women have no self-respect anymore? He had a _large_ wedding band, he was sitting right across from his wife, a slightly frumpy wife, but goddammit he had a baby too!

"Do you want anything else, Sookie?"Eric asked, distracting me from my harsh thoughts about womankind and my crossword puzzle.

"No, thank you baby!" I smiled at him over the top of the paper. I could feel the waitress deflating as she connected the dots and I sniggered when she padded away. Oh great, so I must be the _invisible_ frumpy wife then. "So are you going to help Helen with the move?" I asked as I bent forward to write down the word _paleontology_ down on number 6.

Helen had sold the house recently, just after Eric finally found her a nice flat just three blocks from us that had everything she wanted. She had been a little sad about selling the house her children grew up in, but I suppose when it turns out to be the same house where you cheating-husband spent most of his life with you, you gotta let go.

"Yep. I recruited Chow to help too," Eric replied as he kept trying to wake Lukas by tickling his footie. "After we're done we're going to dinner with him."

I looked up at him again, suspiciously this time. "And his girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yep!" he sat back and smiled cryptically at me.

I hesitated, my eyes roaming around the nearly empty coffee shop until I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Eric, is it Crystal?" Eric shrugged innocently and I gasped. "It is, isn't she? Chow and Crystal are going out! I _knew_ it!"

Eric chuckled at last and nodded. "Fine. You were right. Yes, it is Crystal. Happy?"

"Very!" I leaned over the table, stretching my open palm towards him. "Pay up!"

Eric shook his head. "I don't have 50 bucks on me right now."

"Pfft…" I sat back. "What kind of doctor are you?" I teased, going back to my crossword puzzle.

"Ah, there is the little guy!" Eric perked up and leaned forward to unbuckle Lukas from the stroller.

I looked over to see the baby had indeed woken up and, upon seeing Daddy, smiled and squealed happily, his little hands stretching forward and grasping at the air in front of him in anticipation. I smiled as I watched father and son have their moment together. One of the only things that could make Lukas bawl dramatically was Daddy not picking him up the minute he saw him when he was home. He'd quickly caught on to the time Daddy was home and he was so attuned to it, he could actually hear the sound of Eric's key on the door and he'd get extremely agitated.

Lukas already had a lot more hair than he did when he was born – it was very thin and blonde but it was plenty. He was growing fast, and he was probably a big baby for his age, we had Eric's genes to thank for that. His eyes were bright awake now, following Daddy's every move – but all of his moves where for him now, as he teased and tickled him and talked to him while I watched. He was wearing his navy blue new onesie with Winnie the Pooh on the front – it had been a gift from Amy and he looked simply adorable in it.

"Here is your order, sir." The waitress was back, and she placed Eric's glass in front of him. Just then she noticed the cute baby in his arms and she smiled. "Oh, he's adorable!" she gushed.

"Thank you!" Eric beamed at his boy, never failing to grab the ladies' attention – I suppose it made him proud.

"How old is he?" she asked Eric in an overly sweet voice.

"Eleven weeks."

I tuned out; I had already done this today. Besides, she wanted _his_ answers, not mine. I'm certain she did notice the huge-ass stroller when I came in, and she hadn't spared it a second glance. After she was gone again, Eric drank his juice and we made it to go back home. I had done all the shopping I needed for the week, so we drove straight home.

"Do you think Tara would mind watching Lukas tomorrow evening?" Eric asked as he walked out of the shower into our bedroom, steam coming in wafts after him.

I looked up from my place on the rocking chair (which we had dragged in from the nursery for the time being) and took in his tall, wet and nicely perfumed appearance. The towel hung from his hips tantalizingly and water droplets still clung to his very fit abs. Damn, maybe I should stop complaining about the gym.

"No I don't think so. She's done it before and Lukas is hardly any trouble." I look down at him while his eyes flutter open and closed. I had just finished feeding him and burping him and was lulling him into sleep by rocking the chair. "Isn't that right, Luke?" He blinked in response. "That's what I thought."

"Good then. Or we'd have to bring him along." Eric walked into the closet.

"You know… we _should_ start interviewing baby sitters. Maternity leave is about to expire."

The thought was a bit despairing. The idea of being parted from my baby for any amount of time daily was just heart wrenching. I'd had him with me for nine months before he was born, and just over two after. I didn't want to leave him – maybe Claudine would let me take him with me for meetings. Granted, I could work from home a lot, but not always, especially not now that I was no longer pregnant. It would be tough to choose the person to take care of him too. God... would anyone ever be good enough for me to trust them? Probably not.

"He's out," Eric says as he peers over my shoulder into Lukas's now sleeping form. "Let me move him."

I allowed Eric to pick him up from me and watched as he walked over to the bassinet and gently put him down and tucks him in. He pulled the netting around it and stared at him for a bit. I sighed and Eric looked over at me.

"What's up? He frowned.

"I don't want a baby sitter," I mumbled.

"I know…" Eric walked over and offered me his hand to pull me to my feet. "Let's think about that tomorrow, OK? No depressy pressy now."

I arched my eyebrows at him and smirked. "Depressy pressy huh?"

"It's time to go to beddy bed," he continued, tugging at my hand with a smirk of his own.

I shook my head – baby talk was having a hilarious effect on my husband's vocabulary. To be fair, he wasn't really one of those adults who baby talked his way around Lukas – but he did make a hobby out of mentally cataloguing everything people say – and he'd taken to making some up to annoy them every once in a while.

I slipped under my covers and laid back against my pillow, sighing with resignation. I would have to go back to work eventually. Better it be now than later when it would probably be even harder. I turned on my side to face Eric as he got into bed himself and I silently praised the Lord he chose to go to sleep only in his sleep pants. I got to snuggle into that perfect bare chest of his. He smelled great too. Eric promptly wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin.

"Hey, Eric?"I called sleepily after a while.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, he was nearly asleep already.

"You still owe me 50 bucks." I smiled into his chest.

"Night, Sookie."

I giggled and he squeezed me in response.

xxxxxx


	28. Chapter 28

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

I think Chow and Crystal are probably going to go all the way – get married, have half-Chinese babies. The reason I know this is I saw them eating together. At the restaurant it becomes clear Crystal is a nibbler, she barely eats, and it explains her being so skinny and small. Chow is happy to help clean her plate. Match made in heaven. Everything else about them together is quite frankly strange. They don't match physically – and most of the time Crystal is frowning at Chow when he's talking – but I can see she adores him. Chow treats her quite differently too – it 's hard to tell because Chow is such a showman – but I can tell he feels differently about her.

To see the day when Chow settles down… I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.

Double dating again was fun – it made me feel not so old for a night. We sat for drinks after dinner too, and it was nice. Before I knew it was what past midnight and we were finally making our way back to our cars. It had been raining, so the pavement was wet, but the breeze was quite pleasant.

"My cousin Annie popped baby after baby, so I know a lot of baby sitters!" Crystal was saying confidently as she pulled her cardigan over herself more tightly, and we strolled along at a leisure pace. "I'll get those numbers for you guys if you want."

"Thank you Crystal – that would be great actually," I smiled, trying not to let show much I _didn_'t want to be calling baby sitters.

"Or you could just leave young Luke with me!" Chow teased putting his arm around Crystal as they walked. "I can be his Uncle Ben!"

"His Uncle Ben?" Crystal frowned at him.

"Star Wars reference," I rolled my eyes at Chow. "And _no_ thank you, Chow – I would sooner let him be raised by wolves, or gorillas."

Chow snorted. "You name your kid Tarzan; he gets made fun of at school."

"You're the king of pop culture references, aren't you?" Crystal stared at him in awe.

"Yes, you got yourself quite a catch," Eric teased.

We made it to our cars and said goodnight. Once inside, Eric quietly reached into his wallet, pulled out a 50 dollar bill, and handed it over to me silently, his eyes on the road, but a smirk on his lips. I grabbed it and grinned.

"Thank you!"

Tara was waiting for us when we knocked and she looked like she had been enjoying some quiet time with a book.

"Hey how was your double date?" Tara asked as she let us in.

"It was great. Good food and everything!" I looked around the living room eagerly. "Did Lukas give you any trouble?"

"No. He was just sweet like always," Tara assured me. "He really does enjoy just watching people, doesn't he?"

"You did the thing I told you?" I asked as she led the way to her bedroom. Eric stayed behind in the living room.

If you got Lukas comfortable enough, propping him up with something cushioned so he can sit up and watch what you're doing, he'll be quiet and entertained.

Tara nodded. "He was an angel while I folded the laundry. Gracie was on her stomach on the floor, trying to roll around like always."

I chuckled. "She's going to go places your girl."

Tara snorted. "Don't I know?"

Lukas and Gracie were sharing Gracie's crib – both sound asleep and cozy. I reached down and picked up my baby, careful not to wake him. Tara grabbed Lukas's bag for me and we headed out.

"So how was the move, Eric?" Tara asked as she allowed him to take the bag from her.

"It was fine. Mom donated a lot of things, she wanted a small apartment – it didn't take us long."

"So she's happy with her new place?"

"Yes, she does look happy." Eric peered down into the bundle in my arms. "Thanks for watching him for us again, Tara."

"Sure, no problem! Have you got everything? I'll walk you guys out."

Lukas never roused on our way upstairs, nor when I moved him to lay him down in his bassinet – he was really out for the night, or until he was hungry, which, if he were to keep with his schedule, would happen within a couple hours.

"I feel like all I've seen him do today was sleep," Eric pouted as we crowded around the bassinet to watch our little guy.

I snorted and rubbed his arm sympathetically. "You'll have plenty of play time with him tomorrow."

"How about mommy play time?" Eric asked huskily, pulling me next to him sharply, making me have to stifle a laugh, afraid to wake Lukas.

"Eric, don't make 'mommy' sound dirty!" I admonished him but I was laughing anyway.

"Did you have fun tonight?" he asked, but kept his arm tightly wound around me so I was pressed to him still.

"I did!" I nodded, pressing a hand against his chest and smiling when he kissed my temple. "It was weird as hell that _Chow_ was there but…"

We snorted together and Eric tucked my head under his chin. We stood there, quietly holding each other, watching the rise and fall of the baby's little chest. It was comforting. It took my mind away from the growing fear of leaving him home with a stranger. Talking about it with Crystal brought those worries back to the surface. As if he could sense my mood, which he probably could, Eric gave me a little shake and pulled me away slightly to look down at me - a reprobatory look on his face.

"Sweetheart don't be crabby. Come on!"

I pouted, unable to help myself and I snuggled into his chest to escape his staring and his sermon.

"You said you _wanted_ to go back to work…" Eric continued uncertainly, his voice hushed, for the baby's sake.

"Ugh… if you keep talking about this I _will_ be crabby!" I childishly pushed him away and turned around to get ready for bed.

I heard Eric's sigh behind me, but ignored him. I knew I was being unreasonably emotional about this. We'd talked about me going back to work, and sensing my unease at the thought, Eric suggested me staying home until Lukas was in school-starting age. He said it would be fine, we could make it work, and I could work from home only after that or something. But I'd briskly refused to consider it. Stay home moms? Are there even any still out there? I'd signed a one year contract with WVN – true I did that when I assumed it would only be Lukas and me, but I still wanted to honor it.

I got ready for bed and slipped under the covers, trying to get rid of my pout. I rolled my eyes at myself as I smacked my pillows into an accommodating shape. Eric was getting into bed next to me – he pressed his lips to my shoulder as a peace offering and I smiled apologetically as we snuggled down together.

Eric went to work immediately to try and get me into a better mood and I can't complain. As soon as he rolled on top of me I knew he meant business and I actually smiled into his eyes and nodded, wrapping my fingers around the base of his neck to pull him down into a kiss. I stroked his hair slowly as he kissed away my sour mood and I once more silently appreciate him not cutting his hair too short like he used to - it's now a messy, wavy halo of golden hair that I love tugging at. Eric groaned as I did just that and I felt him pressing down into me. Ooh, play time is really up…

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

Sookie is just trying to be brave – I know. She truly wants to stay home and care for Lukas, and, honestly, that's what I'd like her to do as well. One of us has to work, and it's only natural that it should be me. I have nothing against feminism or modern thinking, but I just don't understand what's wrong with giving your children what they need – which is, well, parenting. It would be a different thing if we couldn't afford it, but we can. We have always been responsible with money and I have a steady job and a book in the works. Once Lukas is old enough to go to school, she'll have time to work and still be home when he's back. But I can't get her to see this and I've stopped insisting because she just gets defensive.

So we're looking at baby sitters it seems. At least Crystal's list seems reliable, they're experienced sitters and it wouldn't hurt to get a few in for an interview. Fortunately we don't have to do that for another week.

On Sunday we just hung out at home with Lukas. I sat with him on the couch and showed him the wonders of television. He seemed pretty engrossed by the news but incredibly distracted during the cartoons.

"What the hell is wrong with this kid?" Sookie wondered from her spot on the carpet in front of us, marveling at how unappealing Sponge Bob was to him.

I snorted. "Well that cartoon is pretty retarded." I ruffled his feathery head and he looked up at me, smiling and flapping his little arms in that adorable uncoordinated way babies his age do. "Ain't it little guy? You'd rather watch something cleverer, like the History Channel right?"

Lukas looked up at me and after what seemed like a long silent rehearsal in which his little mouth open and stretched in different ways he produced a loud, agitated sound, something like "Aeeeweehuuh!"

Sookie laughed around her spoonful of cereal and I looked at her curiously. "He learned that from Grace."

Grace was precocious – she was babbling very early on – or maybe it was Lukas who was too quiet. Either way it was entertaining to watch both babies together, and how different their temperaments were.

After having a whole day to hang out with my son, and have him laugh at me, and interact with me and smile and do all those silly baby things only parents can endure for extended amounts of time, it was tough going to work on Monday. At least Sookie still got a little time with him, I thought gratefully as I leaned down to kiss her still sleeping form on the bed. She moaned in response and went back to sleep. I paused by the bassinet and noticed, surprised, Lukas was already up – quietly staring around and flapping arms and legs. The moment he saw me he smiled and made that cute little noise babies make, one wet hand going into his mouth in the process. I leaned down, and kissed the crown of his head gently, told him to care of mommy and left.

I was midway through my shift at the Free Clinic, drinking iced tea while doing some paperwork in the back room when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I picked it up, and frowned at the number. It wasn't recognizable.

"Eric Northman."

"_Eric._"

"Felicia?" I recognized her voice and frowned. "I'm at work," I said curtly. "What's up?"

There was a sigh on the other end. "_I won't take much of your time. Jessica misses you, and she wants to see her nephew again._" She paused. "_Your father has blocked any attempts to bring up the subject with you or Sookie, so I am doing it myself._"

"That sounds like him," I sighed. "I miss her too."

"_Do you?_" she said dubiously, in a way that made me want to snap at her. "_Why haven't you called then? Or paid her a visit_?"

"You know very well why," I hissed back.

Just as I did, Crystal bounced into the room and stopped short, completely caught off guard by my tone. She quietly tried to pretend she wasn't listening and went to the file cabinet with a bunch of papers in her hand.

"_I think it's about time she gets over this silliness, isn't it? You've both survived._"

"I'm not discussing this with you. This is none of your business." I try to keep my voice low and clam. "I'll work something out with Dad so he can bring Jessie over sometime."

"_Make him think it's your idea._" She adds hastily.

I frown and I steal a glance over at Crystal – she is discreetly checking her papers, not paying attention to me at all.

"Why?" I bite back.

There is an exasperated sound. "_Just to get him off my back about it!_"

"Right. Fine."

"_So, how have you been?_" she adds in an interested, polite, even caring tone.

Jesus Christ, really? I closed my eyes and counted to five. When I open them again Crystal is staring at me wide eyed – she quickly looks away, finding the paper in her hands _way_ too interesting.

"Just fine." I paused and then rolled my eyes. "How about you? And Jessie?"

"_Jessie's doing great. She really loves school. As for me…_" she sighed. "_It's been very lonely._"

Oh fuck. I say nothing and she goes on.

"_I miss her, and, well… Axel has been difficult._"

"Right, well, listen," I stand from my seat. "I have to go back to work. I'll talk to him."

"_Thank you, Eric. I knew you'd understand_."

I hung up and stowed my phone away, sighing and running my fingers through my hair. Felicia is unsettling – I don't know why. She's always made me uncomfortable – but lately more so than before.

"You OK, Doc?" Crystal asked carefully.

I looked up at her and I forced myself to nod and smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Do you know if Steve's in yet?" I asked to change the subject.

"He should be on the seventh floor now."

"Alright. Thanks."

"Hey, Eric…"

I turned around as I was at the door and Crystal reached into her coat pocket. "The list I promised."

Ah, the baby sitters. "Right…" I stared at it dumbly for a minute. "Thanks, Crys…" I stepped up to take it from her and shot her a nervous smile.

Crystal smiled sympathetically. "We had a great time Saturday!"

"We did as well, Crys. I'm glad things are working between you and Chow."

Crystal beamed. "Good. I think your approval means a lot to him."

That makes me shake my head and completely forget everything about the uncomfortable phone call.

"What?" I laugh.

Crystal grinned knowingly. "Did you really say I was off limits when he first met me?"

"Uh…" I ran my hand over the back of my head, my eyes flitting about with embarrassment. "I… might have, yeah."

Crystal looked both surprised and touched. "That's sweet, Doc."

"Well… but as it turned out, it was unnecessary. I think you've got him under control."

Crystal shook her head, her eyes rolling to the ceiling as she pondered it. "We'll see."

"Right uhm… I have to go find Steve."

"Kay. See you later, Doc."

After I leave the hospital I drive to my scheduled visit with Bill Compton. His apartment is in a wealthier side of town, where all the presumptuous people dwell. I haven't been here before. Our previous meetings were in his Publishing House, but, for some reason, he asked me to drive over to his place today.

I made my way past the lobby after identifying myself and rode the elevator to the fifteenth floor. The apartment is quite presumptuous too, but today it looked nothing like its owner.

Bill Compton leaned against what I believe to be a very expensive black, grand piano, with a glass of what could be whisky in his hand. I checked my watch; it's only 4 o'clock in the afternoon. He looked disheveled in his expensive shirt and suit pants and he looked pretty glum. Upon seeing me enter he forced a smile into his lips and pushed away from the piano to shake my hand.

"Eric! Glad you could come. How was traffic?"

"Uh, it was fine, it's only the middle of the day," I eyed his glass warily.

"Right yes…" Bill rubbed his chin absent mindedly, and I realized he looked slightly unshaven. Weird for him if I'm not mistaken. I know the stuffy type, they always look clean. "Would you like a drink?" he asked as he rested his glass on top of the piano. "Wine maybe…" he looked uncertain, his eyes scanning the room as if he didn't quite know where he was.

"Uhm… sure, wine would be fine."

"Please, make yourself comfortable," he nodded towards the couch.

I watched him pour us drinks as I slipped out of my jacket and dropped it on the couch next to me. He walked back to me slowly, as if his mind was far away, not in the present at all.

"I'm sorry, how are Sookie and the baby?" he asked hastily, visibly appalled at having failed to do it earlier.

"They're both fine, thank you," I replied as I took the glass from him. "So uh… how's Lorena?" is it weird to ask that about your wife's OBGYN?

Bill paled visibly at the mention of her name and I frowned as I watched him slumping into his seat, looking to compose himself.

"I suppose she is fine," he answered with a small polite smile. "She moved out. Three weeks ago. So I… we haven't been having much contact."

I can't help the way my eyes widen and I hoped at least my jaw was still in place. An uncomfortable silence settled in between us. Should I say something? Are we friends enough for this? I'm sure we aren't. We struck a business relationship. But at the same time, the man looked really down.

"I… I am sorry to hear that, Bill," I put my wine glass down. "I had no idea."

"Yes, we haven't been really telling people," Bill said, looking around the room, lost. "It was rather sudden…"

Pam better not have anything to do with this.

"I mean, not the issues leading up to it…" he elaborated. "But the end result… definitely." He took a sip from his glass and I can tell it's all he can do not do down it in one go.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" I asked. "We could reschedule…" I started to get up.

"No! Please don't!" Bill insisted, putting on a brave face and waving me down. "I am fine… it's just… it's all very new."

"Of course." I really wanted to be somewhere else right now.

"I just… shouldn't have sprung this up on you," Bill looked embarrassed now. "I guess I just felt like I had to tell someone." Tell a therapist. "But I don't really have many friends. Not in the State… not close friends."

I looked around the room, mentally planning an escape.

"It's just… like pulling the rug from under you." Bill shook his head sadly.

I suddenly realized then that I'm being an asshole. A few months ago this could have been me. Maybe today me and Bill would have been getting drunk off our asses together, commiserating while some other asshole drove home to play with my son.

I grabbed my jacket and I stood up. Bill looked up at me, confused. I jingled my car keys in my hand.

"Let's go somewhere else. I think this house isn't helping you. We can talk while we have a drink at a bar or something."

Bill looked uncertain for a moment, but then, his expression changed and he nodded, almost grateful. At least I can be his designated driver, I haven't had any of the wine, and I'll probably stay sober – but the guy needs to talk, and probably drink.

This is weird as fuck. I don't make friends with stuffy pompous bookish types. They remind me too much of my father. But strangely enough – conjugal problems can be a bonding experience.

xxxxxxx


	29. Chapter 29

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

The night I sat with Bill at a bar turned out to be one of those bizarre ones. For a bookworm he is actually not very loquacious when drunk – he started making less and less sense. At least I could be relieved to learn Pam had had nothing to do with his problems. In fact, as far as he knew, there was no one else. She simply decided she didn't want a life with him anymore. I refrained myself from pointing out all the openness could have something to do with it. Sharing your wife with other people? Asking her to share you? Who the fuck does that? Perhaps I wasn't evolved enough to understand that concept, but frankly I'd never want to be. The thought of Sookie and anyone else just fucking kills me.

Sookie was a bit surprised when I came back home, all disheveled, albeit sober. I told her the story and she whistled high, shocked. I remembered to tell her the other awkward part of my day, which included Felicia's phone call. I knew I had better tell her anything Felicia related from now on. Sookie looked thoughtful while I told her and after a couple of minutes just mulling it over while I entertained Lukas with a rattle, she finally told me to leave it to her. She'd call Felicia and schedule a visit herself. Why would she want to do that? Why not call my dad instead? Sookie said it was best to have her under her watch than her sneaking up on her. I supposed she was going with the "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" motto.

I didn't know how mother would feel about Felicia stopping by our place. Honestly I didn't know how I'd feel. All the awkwardness from previous years would tenfold – having Felicia, my father's secret baby momma and my wife in the same room. Worlds colliding and all that – next I would be flying Sookie and Lukas with me to the next location or something.

We started interviewing baby sitters in the middle of the week, by the weekend we had settled for Zoe. Zoe was one of the women in Crystal's list and she had good recommendations from several sources. She was a trained sitter with a Children's Education background. She was in her mid twenties and Lukas looked comfortable enough with her.

The first week was the worst for Sookie. On Monday it was like I couldn't get her out of the house, she kept finding last minute things to check, or last minute recommendations to give Zoe. To be honest, I too felt a bit sad that Lukas was going to stay home without one of his actual parents for a significant amount of the day – but it couldn't be helped. I had to work, at least until four in the afternoon. We didn't know how Lukas was going to react to Sookie not being there for any length of time, but apart from being a little weepy the first couple of days, especially since he was being given the formula during that period, he was alright. Sookie still breastfed him when she was home.

The week after Sookie went back to work; she called Felicia and scheduled a visit with Jessica. I have no idea how that conversation went as I wasn't there, all I got was a text from Sookie letting me know it happened.

It was May, and Lukas was three months old – his coordination started getting better and he could more clearly recognize people and it was funny to see how he reacted differently to them. Sookie made him smile, and he loved talking to her, well babbling, I guess because she also talked a lot to him. With me he liked to laugh, apparently everything I did was amusing and he enjoyed being lifted high where he could see everything. He smiled at Zoe a lot, but usually if one of his parents was in the room he followed us around with his eyes and a frowny face. He really liked Pam, he screamed when she was near and he liked grabbing at her jewelry a lot – so much that she had to stop wearing prickly things around him. Jason was even funnier than I to him. My mom could keep his attention like no other it seemed, he'd stare at her wide eyed the whole time she was talking and he would smile when prompted. He was rolling on his stomach and back in no time – and, while he still thought Grace was too loud, he started warming up to her too.

Mid May, Adele came to Shreveport to spend some time with her great grandson. Lukas took to her immediately, for Sookie's relief. She was afraid that because Adele wasn't around much, the baby wouldn't take to her and it would break her heart. But they got around like a house on fire.

"Ok so…" Sookie was standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring around, with a panicky look on her face. "I think that's everything."

"Yes, Sookie, dear, it's all pretty good!" Adele said encouragingly from her place by the stove, she was checking on her pecan pie. "They're going to love it!"

I watched her warily from my stool by the island, with Lukas on my lap, he was throwing his little legs around while he tried to devour his rattle, or eat his hand, one of those. I bounced him on my knee and he laughed, looking over at me with his "daddy is so much fun" face.

"Sookie, relax… take a seat, eat something." I urged her – she'd skipped breakfast.

Felicia and Jessica were coming today. My father was off in Texas with Stan so Felicia had the weekend with her daughter anyway. I had a bad feeling about the whole thing and I'm not given to that – the only kind of intuition I have is the kind I can apply to medicine. But I decided to let Sookie do whatever it was she was doing.

"I'll eat when they're here!" Sookie shook her head, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "Did I clean the living room?" she added suddenly and walked past me on fast feet – Lukas was momentarily distracted from his rattle and followed her with her eyes and yelled some baby-gibberish as if to call her back.

I looked back at Adele warily and she shook her head at me. "Just let her fret – at least she feels in control."

"I just don't know what to do. She acts as though Felicia is _my_ ex lover and Jessica is _my_ child." I shrugged honestly. I don't know when exactly Adele came to know the whole story, but she did.

"She doesn't hold it against you anymore despite appearances, Eric," Adele patted my hand on the island soothingly. "It's just the woman she's really worried about."

I shrugged. "She didn't have to invite her."

Adele shook her head again. "Just let her have her control."

Lukas started babbling at us, so we stopped talking about it and started playing with him instead. Soon, Sookie was back in the kitchen, looking calmer and she gently picked the baby up when he yelled at her excitedly.

Felicia and Jessica arrived shortly after and things went unexpectedly fine. Felicia was polite and kind, complimenting the house and Sookie's food – she was kind to Lukas and she kept her eye on Jessica to make sure she wasn't going to get out of line around him. Sookie did her best to find things they could talk about. In the end, she got out of Felicia that she was currently living in an apartment downstairs from my father, something even I hadn't known. Sookie and I exchanged weird looks when she told us. Jessica was finally appeased – she played with Lukas and he thought she was awfully interesting – he didn't take his eyes off of her the whole time she was around.

After they left, Adele patted me on the shoulder and reassured me things went just fine and Sookie was happy. I thanked heavens Adele was around for that. Sookie drove her home the day after and I wondered if Sookie had brought her over more like backup for the Felicia situation than for Lukas.

I hoped this one visit meant we could all deal with the awkwardness a little less awkwardly from now on – for Jessica's sake.

The Monday after that, I got home around 4:30pm and went around looking for Lukas. He was in the kitchen with Zoe. She'd put him on the baby basket carrier on top of the island, and she was currently teasing his feet and making noises at him – Lukas was babbling back and smiling at her, shaking his little arms and feet and flexing his little hands.

"Hey Zoe…" I said to alert her of my arrival.

"Oh! Hi, Dr. Northman!" Zoe looked over her shoulder. "Had a nice day at work?"

"Yes, I did, thank you." I dropped my bag on the floor and stepped closer to the island. "So how's my boy?"

Lukas screamed as he saw me, smiling and violently agitating his arms. I grinned, happy to see I was still popular even though he now had Zoe. She stepped back as I picked him up and lifted him, nuzzling his tiny tummy while he palmed at my face and babbled some more. God, I love this little guy.

"Anything exceptional happened today, Zoe?" I asked as I tucked him safely in my arms and turned around to see Zoe – she was working on his bottle.

"Nope. We just had some fun time." She closed the bottle carefully and turned to me. "When do you think it's alright for me to start taking him to the park?"

"Have you asked Sookie?"

"No. I could do it today though. Seeing people is always good."

"I think it's still a little bit chilly to be taking him out," I said, watching him as he chewed on his hand with his blue eyes on me.

"Not if I take him out at the right time!" Zoe winked and stepped up holding the bottle. "Would you like to do it? Or I could, if you want to get cleaned up or something."

"No, I want to do it." I took the bottle and held it for Lukas to see, he smiled and squealed.

"OK," Zoe laughed. "I'll clean things up here then. See ya later Luke!" she called as I started carrying him out of the kitchen.

I hung out with my little guy a little after he had his bottle and finally I let Zoe have him so I could shower. By the time I got out, Sookie had just walked through the door and Zoe was handing the baby over to her while Lukas squealed and giggled at mommy.

"Oh hiii baby!" Sookie nuzzled him while he grabbed at her face happily. "Did you miss me, Luke?"

"Well, I guess, I'm going to grab my stuff and go then," Zoe said as she grabbed Sookie's purse from her. "Let me get this for you."

"Thank you, Zoe. Did he behave?" Sookie asked, her eyes fully on her son as she walked further into the apartment.

"Like always, Mrs. Northman," Zoe said as she carried her purse over to the cabinet where Sookie stashed it, behind the dinner table.

"Hey," I walked over to Sookie to get my kiss.

"Oh hi!" she beamed at me, taking her eyes off Lukas for a moment to kiss me back.

Lukas squealed and babbled, shaking his little arms at us as if to say "cut it out!"

"Jeez, keep your hair on, child!" I pressed my lips to his baby hair next. "She's mine too."

Sookie shook her head at him as if to reassure him that she really wasn't and walked away towards our bedroom with him. Zoe came walking out of the nursery and I opened the door for her.

"See you tomorrow, Zoe," I smiled at her. "Thanks and drive safely."

"I will Dr. Northman. Night!"

I walked back into our bedroom to find Sookie sprawled on the bed with Lukas on his back at her side while she tickled him until he was squealing in a frequency only dogs can hear. I leaned against the doorframe and watched them a while. Sookie had kicked off her high heels and her naked feet were swaying in the air while she swung her legs distractedly. The sight made me so happy – I didn't even join them so I could admire them a little longer.

"Oh hey, I thought I felt myself being watched!" she suddenly looked over her shoulder at me. "You joining us, daddy?"

I smiled and walked over, lying at the other side so Lukas was between us. My boy's little head followed me while he shook his little feet and giggled. He really loved having us both with him at the same time. I tugged at his little toe through his sock and he made a cute sound and tried rolling at me, but ended up bouncing back and Sookie and I laughed, then we helped him. He was then on his stomach, tucked next to me and I toyed with his thin baby hair.

"So how was your day?" I looked over at Sookie, who was now leaning her chin on her hand and watching us.

"It was great, really," she shrugged.

I leaned over, nuzzling into her neck, she smelled so good. "How can you still smell this good at this hour?" I kissed her jaw, chin and lips.

Sookie giggled as Lukas started pawing at me to get my attention. "I'm sitting on my ass all day in large room with the A.C. on, that's how. Frozen journalists smell better, didn't you hear?"

"Sweaty doctors don't keep well," I nodded and I looked down at Lukas just as he shoved his fingers into my mouth.

"You smell just fine now!" she said, taking her turn to sniff me, kissing my ear.

"I showered," I grinned and then I lay back, hoisting Lukas onto my chest – he was now eye level with mommy and he seemed to like that. "Look at him smile."

"He's a happy baby, isn't he." Sookie said proudly as she leaned over to let him pat her cheek while he babbled on incoherently. "I should shower too, and see what's for dinner." She sighed.

"You shower, Luke and I cook."

"Oh, ain't I a lucky girl?" she grinned as she rolled off the bed, Lukas following her with his eyes. "Make sure daddy doesn't oversalt everything like he usually does!" she said conspiratorially to the baby.

"I do not!" I protested as she disappeared into the bathroom. Sookie just laughed.

xxxxxxx


	30. Chapter 30

xxxxxxx

**SPOV – A week earlier**

Our anniversary celebrations were halted by some hospital emergencies that kept Eric away for longer than anticipated. So it was early May when we finally got around to making new plans. Tara and the boys had Lukas for the night, I wore my new red dress and Eric took me to a hotel – the room would be usually outside of our budget but Eric wanted to make it special and I was all for a little pampering!

I walked over to the fruit basket arrangement on the corner while Eric opened the door for room service and I plucked a grape, knowing it was the most expensive grape I would ever eat – and the last one, if I wanted my child to go to college. It was tasty!

"Thank you." Eric said behind me.

"Good evening, sir," I heard the low male voice at the door.

I turned around, nibbling on another grape as Eric walked towards me while uncorking the bottle of champagne.

"You know I can't drink that," I reminded him.

"It's symbolic," Eric muttered.

"Aah… two thousand dollar symbolism!" I teased holding my glass up.

"I'm not that crazy!" Eric poured the precious liquid down my glass. "It's only 1999." He poured himself a glass. "Happy anniversary sweetheart," he murmured as we clinked glasses.

I grinned and I sniffed the champagne making Eric laugh. I shrugged and took a tiny sip, just to taste it. "Tastes like 50 bucks."

Eric leaned over, after sipping his own champagne and pulled me into a kiss, while still holding the bottle and his glass, which made me laugh, my own glass stuck between the two of us.

"Fine, it was only 300 bucks," he whispered into my ear when he pulled back.

"You cheapo!" I teased, grabbing the sides of his face before he could escape and kissed him again. "_Only_ 300 dollars?"

"You taste like grapes Mrs. Northman," he purred against my lips, his eyes on mine.

"Do you want one? They're very tasty!" I threw my arms around his neck, my glass still dangling from my fingers.

"Mmmm…" he nuzzled my neck. "Maybe later." His right arm tightened around my waist pulling me closer. "Right now I'd rather have you."

I shivered like a school girl and wrapped my arms tighter around his neck – his voice sent a rush of electricity down to my nether regions. It was pretty powerful and I was at once eager and anxious. Eric pulled away, taking a nip at my lips before he put the champagne bottle and his glass on the table beside us; he took my glass from me as well and put it down. When he looked back at me, the heat in his eyes alone had me struggling to keep myself together. I was suddenly folding my arms around my stomach and rubbing my arms self consciously, dropping my eyes to his shirt-covered abdomen, his very taut, very gorgeous abdomen – damn that gym!

Eric tipped my chin up gently with his fingers and smiled that happy boy smile of his, planting a chaste kiss on my lips. I smiled back at him, knowing this was his way of telling me he knew I was nervous.

It wasn't like we hadn't done this after I gave birth. I just had been horribly uncomfortable about my body and it made me feel unsexy as hell. I'd asked to do it with the lights out every time and I knew Eric was not going to put up with that tonight.

"Mmm, you wore red on our first date," Eric's murmured voice drew me out of my grumpy musings about stretched skin and sticky boobs. He was fingering the strap of my dark red velvet dress with a nostalgic look in his blue eyes.

I nodded, smiling – I had chosen a red dress on purpose. He looked up into my eyes again and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "Ten years…" he muttered.

"Ten years…" I muttered back. "We made it!"

Eric looked suddenly contrite, his eyes flickered, and though they were somewhere on my neck I knew he was far far away. I didn't want him to be sad so I leaned over and stood on my toes to kiss along his jaw line. He inhaled and drew me further into the cradle of his arms, his strong arms tightening almost painfully around me. I curled my fingers into his hair and peppered little kisses all around his face, until he tugged at my hair to hold me in place and kissed me full on the lips – I was sad about the end of my little exploration only until his tongue swept into my mouth and made everything better.

Making out with Eric like this wasn't something I'd had a lot of time for and suddenly I really wanted it so bad. I would have happily mauled his face and his lips all night like some teenager getting to grope her boyfriend in the backseat of his car.

But Eric had other plans and as he tugged down on the straps of my dress I was suddenly nervous again. No, no! Stretched skin, sticky boobs! Should I pray for a blackout?

"Sookie…" Eric's lips were against my ear, his fingers still holding the straps of my dress. He'd felt me stiffening. "Let it go, sweetheart."

I made an incoherent whiny sound and closed my eyes as he pulled the straps the rest of the way down. My dress was pooling at my feet and as I opened my eyes Eric was taking a step back to watch me. His eyes ran down my body, going through several shades of heated blue and I swallowed. I fought the urge to cover myself.

"Oh I missed this sight," He murmured, hands sliding around my hips as he touched his forehead to mine, his eyes on my naked body.

I flushed, feeling a bit silly now – why did I think he would see me any differently? He loved me – to think I'm beautiful is his job right?

"Your turn…" I whispered, reaching for the buttons of his shirt.

I landed on the silk sheets on my back with a squeal – Eric had picked me up and tossed me, taking me completely by surprise. I giggled as he crawled on top of me, my own hungry eyes following the way his muscles rippled perfectly under his skin. I really should stop complaining about the gym. I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled his lips down to mine, licking the seam of his lips so he would open them for me – he groaned low in his throat as I gave him my best kiss. My husband was hot and it turned me on! Damn the fucking lights – I could have been staring at him like this for months!

"Oh fuck, she's back…" Eric groaned when I wrapped my knees around his hips, biting my lip and bucking underneath him.

"Shut up!" I laughed.

"Oh Sookie," Eric shook his head – he was supporting his weight on his arms as he watched me. "Don't ever change."

I pouted. "We're married and we have a baby, we're _supposed_ to have boring sex except for holidays and special occasions."

Eric snorted. "Boring sex, eh?"

Uh oh… I blanched and shook my head. He narrowed his eyes at me and I laughed into my hands. I hadn't really meant it of course, it was never boring, but I knew he was going to make me pay for my statement nonetheless.

In retrospect, I'm glad I said that. That was probably the most athletic sex we'd ever had. I was a mess. Sweaty, panting, sore and sticky – and oh so so sated. I was dizzy as I stared back at the hotel room ceiling – Eric was panting at my side and I looked over – he had his eyes closed and a positively ecstatic smile on his lips. Oh my sweet smug bastard!

"Hey…" I called as I rolled onto my side and rested my hand on his stomach.

"Hmmm?" he swiveled his head my way but kept his eyes closed.

"You falling asleep on me?" I teased.

Eric's eyes opened and stared into mine challengingly. I grinned and kissed his shoulder. I propped my head on my hand and stared at him happily, toying with the pale hair o his chest.

"We should escape for a couple weeks during the summer," I whispered. "Hang at the farmhouse with Gran?"

Eric cocked his eyebrows curiously. "What brought that up?"

"I just want us to not miss so much of him growing up because of work," I shrugged. "I wasn't going to bring this up until I was sure I could take the time out but…" I sighed. "When you fuck me _senseless_ I tend to speak my mind."

Eric's eyes flashed with a dangerous promise. "Really?"

"Yep."

"You tend to cuss a lot more too."

"I do…"

He rolled over onto his side as well and he ran his fingers down my shoulder to my arm. "We can go to Gran's… or anywhere you want really."

"We can?" I asked dubiously.

Eric nodded. "I will do everything I can to give you and Lukas anything you want, sweetheart."

My heart melted – I knew he meant it. I grinned. "I just want some time off is all."

"Then you'll have it," he kissed me. "Tell Gran we're coming over to make a mess of her house in July."

I grinned. "She's going to love it."

Eric grinned back, his eyes a clear blue now – he was boy Eric again.

"Should we call Tara?" I gasped suddenly. Talking about little Luke reminded me he was not here – was he OK? Was he having fun?

"We've been gone three hours, he's fine," Eric soothed me. "He'll be fine until morning. Tara will call if there's anything wrong." When my eyes widened he seized my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Nothing's gonna go wrong."

I sighed. "Of course not."

Eric shook his head. "Silly."

"But you love me," I pouted.

"I do…" he nodded, his eyes on my lips as his thumb tugged at my chin. "Fuck I really do."

"Fuck…" I repeated.

Eric' eyes met mine and he smirked. "Fuck?"

"Yes please," I grinned.

Eric's lips closed over mine as he rolled on top of me. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, fingers tugging at his hair at the nape of his neck. I gasped as he ground into me, he was ready to go.

"You've got a dirty mouth on you tonight, Mrs. Northman…" Eric whispered against my mouth.

"It's your fault!" I countered. "You did a lot of very dirty things to me."

"I want to do it all over again," he thrummed against my neck as he made his way down.

I gasped and bucked at the feel of his fingers parting my folds. I moaned happily, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment. His mouth was on my breast and he licked and sucked at my nipple.

"Mmm sweet," he murmured, his breath against my skin sending little shocks down to my core.

I gasped again as Eric's touch down there got a little rough and I had to bite my lip to keep from being too loud. That dizzy feeling in my head returned and I was aware I was breathing erratically. I opened my eyes to see Eric watching me – his eyes a stormy blue. At the state I was right now he could finish me with that look alone.

I was short of breath, the lovely dizziness was getting worse, and I arched back, readying myself. Eric pulled his hand away – I whimpered sadly at him. He smirked and before I could say anything he slammed into me in a swift move.

"Holy ffff…." I threw my head back and shuddered as I involuntarily thrust upwards to meet his blow, my sight failed me for a moment and I felt as though I was falling out of myself – it was a-fucking-mazing.

I arched my back, my breasts pushing against Eric's chest. He wound an arm around my waist to hold me to him and leaned down to suckle at my neck.

"Sookie…" Eric tugged at my earlobe. "Love of my life..."

I moaned, feeling him move inside me, building it all up again. "Yes…" I moaned, thrusting my fingers through his hair.

"Sweetheart," Eric pulled back to look at my face. "You OK?"

I nodded vehemently, my thighs clamping around his hips tightly while Eric lowered my back down again. We began to move together, not quite smoothly, we were ravenous for each other. Fingernails drawing paths over each other's skins, teeth, tongues and thrust after relentless thrust until I was seeing white spots again.

I fell on my back a third time, this time gloriously smug to see Eric shuddering and shivering above me as he finally reached his climax and poured himself into me. He kept his weight off of me, but his arms were shaking with the strain and I grinned happily - knowing I'd done that to him. His eyes were closed, and his brow furrowed as he paced his breathing. I reached over to touch his cheek and he leaned into my palm.

"C'me here…" I whispered, tugging at his hair and pulling him down.

Eric's head rested on my breasts and he finally let go and fully lay on top of me – I wrapped my arms around him and fondled his now damp hair.

"That was nice…" I sighed dreamily.

"Nice like afternoon tea," Eric teased, his lips moving against my skin as he spoke, tickling me.

I chuckled. My eyes started closing off their own accord. I'd teased Eric earlier about falling asleep and now I was the one who was going to black out first.

It was good to know we still had it in us. _Nice_ didn't really cover it. We used to be sex marathoners – going at it like crazy whenever he came back from a campaign – at least until things started going sour. Then with the pregnancy and everything, there was just too much happening for us to just let go like this and be together between four walls until we had to go out for food again.

We woke up in the morning, exhausted but very happy. We would have gone for an encore but… there was a baby waiting for us! We had the nice breakfast in bed and drove back to pick Lukas up from Tara.

"Oh hey you two!" Lafayette opened the door, holding a screaming Grace in his arm. "Look Gracey! It's Uncle Eric and Aunt Sookie!"

"Aaaw, why are we crying?"I asked making a pouty face at Grace.

"We have no idea!" Lafayette said in mock exasperation, shaking Grace in his arms, only causing her crying to vibe a little. "Come on in folks…" He pulled the door widely open for us to step in.

I walked into the kitchen and my heart fluttered at the sight of my baby boy. Tara was on a chair with Lukas on her lap. He looked up at us as we walked in and he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, but he didn't squeal or bounce as he usually did so I cocked my head, half-disappointed, half-curious.

"Gracie kept him up all night," Tara answered my unasked question. "She kept us all up last night," she looked accusingly at Gracie who was now whimpering in Lafayette's arms – but she soon followed it with a smile at her baby. "Can we swap babies Sookie?"

"She don't mean it Gracey!" Lafayette glared at his cousin while he covered the baby's ears.

I laughed and I leaned down to scoop Lukas into my arms. "Thank you so much, Tara! I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

"He wasn't." Tara ruffled his hair.

I cuddled my baby into my chest and buried my nose in his sweet baby hair, his clean baby smell warming my heart. "Oh I missed you!"

Eric rubbed my shoulder while he leaned down to kiss the top of Lukas' head.

"We haven't been gone a day, sweetheart," he mocked me.

"Oh shush you!" I elbowed him weakly.

Gracie now was watching us all curiously – her tears forgotten. Tara walked over to Lafayette and picked her up – she looked very glad mommy had come for her and started babbling at her.

"Anytime you need a date Tara…" I began teasingly.

"Ready to go?" Eric asked as he grabbed Lukas' bag from Lafayette.

"Yep!"

We went home and after feeding Lukas I put him in his bassinet – he went to sleep almost immediately. Poor baby – Gracie probably talked his ear all night. I found my cell phone in my bag and realized I had a missed call and a text from Felicia. I shuddered involuntarily – she was confirming our play date for Jessica and Lukas. I would have to call Gran – I would definitely need her wisdom to deal with this!

I knew Eric was feeling awkward as hell about me wanting to handle Felicia – but I knew what I was doing. I had to keep my eyes on that woman. I would call Gran first and make plans for July like Eric suggested. I couldn't wait for the summer!

xxxxxxx


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Surprisingly, I've been told my story has been nominated for the _Most Promising True Blood Fanfiction_ category of the _**Energize W.I.P. Award**_! I have no idea how that even happened but thank you so much! (www*energizewipawards*blogspot*com/) for more info if you want.

Glad you guys enjoyed the anniversary chapter. Here's more!

xxxxxxx

**SPOV**

Life is good. June has brought in some much needed heat and taking Lukas out for strolls in the park is a lot of fun. He likes it outside, he likes the noise and he's fascinated by the ducks in the pond. He's very self aware for a baby his age, though he is not nearly as precocious as Grace, who is almost at leaps and bounds it seems.

I squat in front of his stroller to return the Piglet plush he'd tossed on the floor. He laughs at me with his slobbery mouth – Lukas loves tossing things for mommy to fetch. Now I know how a golden retriever feels. I sit back on the bench next to Tara, as she holds the bottle for Grace, who is sitting in her own stroller – she tries to grab at the bottle with her own hands – always reaching for independence. I smile at her as I watch her suckle voraciously. She is a really beautiful little girl. Tara is good looking, but I can tell her Dad must have been a charmer too – given Grace's eyes were slowly turning green, I would wager baby daddy was to blame. Tara and her mysterious baby daddy!

"So you all worked out today?" Tara asked while she held the bottle for Grace.

"Oh yeah… feels good to be able to work from home once in a while again. There was just so much to catch up to when I first came back…" I sighed sitting back, casting a quick glance at Lukas; he was quietly watching us from his stroller and chewing his hand. "I hate leaving him with a baby sitter all the time."

"Zoe's good though," Tara said. "She knows a bunch of crap about kids, she's useful."

"That she is," I laughed and Lukas laughed in return – such a silly boy.

Zoe was a really good sitter. Of course she was also young and blonde and beautiful, with her skin all intact and perky boobs and ass – she was a walking cliché of the home wrecker baby sitter and I confess I was paranoid at first. It turned out she had a steady boyfriend and while I did catch her ogling Eric at times, could I blame her? He was very oglable.

I don't know how I came to be so jealous. I wasn't like that before. But at least I'm cool now where Zoe's concerned. All the other women of the world… they better watch out.

"Sook! Sook! Sook!" Tara hissed at me while nudging me with her elbow three times.

"Jesus, Tara! What?" I looked up with annoyance and saw her eyes were bulging – I followed her gaze, but I had to squint against the sunlight. "What?"

"Isn't that Lorena's ex-husband? What was his name again, Phill?"

"Bill?" I shaded my eyes with my hand and looked over again.

It really was him. In a tracksuit, with an i-pod, jogging towards us. I'd only personally seen him once, but I'd seen pictures of him on Lorena's desk, and I would have been able to recognize him from them alone.

"One and the same," I nodded – watching him curiously as he approached. Should I say something? He was Eric's publisher, I probably should. "Hey Bill!" I called out as he was just running past us.

Bill Compton's head whipped towards me and he frowned as though he didn't recognize me, he kept his pace, his eyes on me while he tried to remember I suppose. He finally stopped, eyes going from me to the stroller with a baby in it. He blinked - recognition at last.

"Hey…" I waved sheepishly. Maybe I _shouldn't_ have said anything.

"Mrs. Northman!" Bill fully turned around with a smile and walked over to me on the bench. "How have you been doing? Is that the little man?" he smiled as he bent over the stroller to peer into it.

"I've been great, thanks. Please call me Sookie – and yes, that is Lukas!" I beamed proudly at my baby who was currently examining the new adult in front of him.

"He does really look like Eric, doesn't he?" Bill said offhandedly, like he was amused.

Who the heck would he look like? The milkman?

"Yes, he does. These are my friend Tara Thornton and her little girl, Grace!"

Bill then straightened himself up as he turned towards Tara, a warm smile on his face as he offered her hand.

"Mrs. Thornton."

"Just Tara please – not married." Tara smiled at him, shaking his hand.

"Oh!" Bill nodded, a look going through his face as though he suddenly remember he too was not married – anymore. "You have a lovely girl! Beautiful green eyes!"

"I know!" Tara beamed proudly. She might not get compliments about how well behaved her baby was, but she sure did get the she's-so-beautiful ones.

"Are you in journalism like Sookie?" Bill asked politely.

Tara snorted. "Me? No. I am currently unemployed. I used to have a desk job at a marketing firm."

"Marketing huh?" Bill looked thoughtful.

"Yes."

Bill reached into his pocket and produced a business card. "If you want to look into working again we're always looking for people. We do have a marketing department," he beamed at her.

"Oh!" Tara stared at his hand, surprised. She finally blinked and took it. "Thanks… I'll look into that."

"Good!" Bill smiled. He then turned to me. "I haven't heard from Eric this week yet, how is he doing?"

"Just great," I smiled. "You should come to dinner sometime!"

Bill looked surprised and pleased. "Oh I would love that."

Oh jeez… would Eric love that? Oh hell, he went pity-drinking with the guy…

"I'll… talk to Eric and we'll call you!"

"Good. I look forward to it." He looked at his wrist watch. "I am sorry ladies, I should get going. I have a meeting downtown in an hour."

"Oh! Sorry for keeping you!"

"Nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad I finally got to see your baby. I'll see you around Sookie, and Tara."

We shook his hand again and watched as he jogged off – before we looked at each other and burst into giggles.

"Why are we even laughing?" Tara shook her head.

"I don't know! Maybe because he's our vagina-woman's ex husband?"

"Maybe," Tara said following him with her eyes. "He's hot though – bit old…"

"A bit old for _what_ exactly, Miss Thornton?" I teased her.

Tara glared at me and then burst into laughter. "For nothing! I'm done with white guys."

"Oh really?" I cocked my eyebrow at her. "Baby daddy?"

Tara grinned, knowing about my never-ending curiosity. "He is mixed. Half Hispanic, part Jewish… maybe one-quarter black."

"That's… amazing math you've got there," I shook my head as I bent over to dab at my son's slobbery mouth with a cloth.

"One day you're gonna wake up and I'm going to reveal he was from Mars!" she told me.

"And I would _totally _believe you!" I promised her.

"So, you inviting book guy for dinner?" Tara teased.

"I should right? That would be polite. He's Eric's publisher, Lorena just dumped him…"

"Why do you think she did?" Tara asked curiously.

"No idea. Maybe she fell in love with someone who's not a sharer?"

"Maybe. Sadly we can't ask her, it wouldn't be right."

"Ooh! I could ask Claudine!" I remembered she was friends with them – duh.

"You do that."

We walked into the apartment around twenty minutes later. Lukas was asleep in his stroller and Gracie bawling in Tara's arms. I marveled at my kid's ability to sleep through that – I guess he just got used to Gracie and learned to tune her out.

"Oh… Eric's been home," I see his laptop on the center table as I bend down over the stroller to unstrap my baby and lift him.

"Gym?" Tara wondered.

"I guess…" I shrugged. "I think he started making Chow go with him too." I snorted. "You know he used to go to gym a lot when we were not OK."

"So what is his excuse now?" Tara asked as she tried to rock Gracie to calm her down.

"No idea." I give up about moving Lukas and decide to let him nap in the stroller. "He started writing more after he started going there though."

A phone rang somewhere and Tara and I looked at each other in confusion. I patted my pocket, she patted hers and we shake our heads. I looked over the center table.

"Eric forgot his phone again!" I strode over to pick it up before Lukas awakes – he's immune to Gracie, but maybe not ring tones. "Shit…" I muttered staring at the little screen.

"What?" Tara, who has finally quieted her baby down moved to put her back into her stroller.

"It's Felicia…" I looked up at her, holding the phone, still ringing in my palm.

Tara cocked an eyebrow. "Well pick it up!"

"Should I?" I asked uncertainly.

"You wanna keep an eye on that bitch don't ya? Pick it up!"

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

"Nope, nope, that is just complete shit Northman!" Chow has my latest fifteen pages in his hands as he jogs on the treadmill. "You can do better than this." He taps the stack of papers on his monitor.

I just rolled my eyes at him as I checked my pulse and started slowing down. "What's wrong with it?"

"I've told you a million times!" Chow smirked at me. "Not enough sex in your manuscript."

A tiny brunette was just walking by when she heard him and she stopped to look at us. I've seen her before – but I never got a name. She looked from Chow to me and a smile lit up her face.

"Are you a writer?"

"He definitely is!" Chow said before I had a chance. "Best we have in town!" I glared at him.

"Oh!" tiny brunette really perked up as she beamed at me, she held the ends of her towel as it hung from around her neck and – it has been a while, but I think I still recognize a flirt when I see it. "Have I read anything of yours?" she asked sweetly.

Chow is laughing next to me and I want to reach out and punch him in the guts. I shook my head at her, smiling apologetically. "I'm a doctor - not a novelist, sorry."

Her face dropped for a few seconds, and then awkwardly she beamed once again, somehow even more enthusiastically.

"A doctor you say?" she shifted the weight from one leg to the other.

Oh I am going to murder Chow Lin.

"Yep," I smiled politely switching my treadmill off.

"I'm Ali…" she stretches her hand out to me.

"Eric," I shook her hand.

"So what is a doctor writing about?" she asked, smiling at me.

I reach up with my own towel to wipe the sweat from my face and when I move it away I find her smile gone and her eyes follow my hands as they drop in front of me, still holding the towel. I frowned – and then it hit – the wedding band. I try to not to smirk.

"Uh… it's about my experience as a relief worker," I explained.

"Ooh!" she looked up at my face again and smiled with forced interest. "That sounds fascinating!"

"Pfft…" Chow rolled his eyes and kept jogging.

"You should stop champ," I told him. "You're getting kind of red faced."

"Fuck you!" Chow snorted and kept going.

"No really, he's right!" Ali watched Chow with wide eyes.

I grinned at him and reached over to switch the treadmill off for him. He panted as he grabbed at the monitor.

"You're just afraid I'll get fitter and hotter than you and you'll lose your throne as the panty melter."

"Yep, sure – that's it." I patted his shoulder as we started heading to the locker room after waving goodbye at our new friend Ali. "There's only one set of panties I care about melting."

"Whose? Ali's?" Chow cocked his head back at the girl behind us.

I remind myself I'm way too old to be punching my friends in the nuts. "Yep, hers."

"Mission accomplished my friend!" Chow smirked at me.

"No, that was just the word _doctor_," I make air quotation marks with my hands as we reach our lockers.

"I really gotta get myself an M.D. don't I?"

"Crap… where's my phone?" I reach into my locker and can't find it.

"Honestly didn't see you take it out before we went out there," Chow said as he grabbed his duffel bag.

"Damn, must have forgotten it at home again," I grabbed my clean t-shirt and closed the locker.

"So, are you and Sookie still on for dinner with us on Saturday?" Chow grinned at me

Chow was an idiot – but he was surprisingly holding it together with Crystal. She found his oddities charming. I was still a bit shocked every time I saw them together.

"Yep, we'll be there."

"And Luke."

"And Luke," I smirked. "You trying to convince her you're good with kids aren't you?"

Crystal had mentioned she was getting her nieces during their summer vacation – and she'd asked me how Chow felt about kids. Honestly I didn't know. He was good with Luke, but then again, Luke liked everybody. Gracie always cried when he picked her up – but, again, Gracie cried with everybody.

"I'm awesome with kids!" was Chow's answer.

I had planned to call Sookie to ask her if I should pick something up for dinner on the way home. I knew she'd worked from the apartment today and she left me a note letting me know she would be at the park when I arrived. We could both get some take out and just chill instead of wasting time in the kitchen. But since I forgot the damn phone we'd just get take out.

I'd made a habit out of going to the gym again – and I liked it. At first I didn't know why I was doing it. I'd stopped caring about exercising years ago and Sookie and I were doing great so I didn't really need an escape. I found out, however, that working out made me think better. At home there was too much distraction, and now with a baby the distraction was even greater. Then Chow started coming along which often ruined the concentration portion of it, but it was still fun. Chow could use the work out for his weight anyways, and I was all about encouraging the guy.

As I drove home, planning to go straight to the shower to wash the sweat off, I remembered last night in the shower with Sookie. I immediately wanted to get her sweaty too. Lukas would be napping; it was the perfect time to get her naked.

I rode the elevator up smiling like a fool – and the smile died on my face when I stepped inside to see Jessica bouncing towards me and screaming "Eric! Eric!" in her high pitched little girl voice.

What the fuck?

xxxxxxx


	32. Chapter 32

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I had never planned to be a big part of any half siblings' lives. When I first found out about Felicia and her pregnancy I had been as uninterested and revolted as Pam. It's not the kid's fault; you just can't help but feel betrayed. But, once Jessica was born, and I wound up getting involved in more than one drama involving her health and my father's absence, it just happened. Felicia claimed they were alone in Shreveport – that all of her friends were in New Orleans and her family was in Maine. What was I going to do? Leave my father's child uncared for? It wasn't her fault her father was an ass.

Jessica for some incomprehensible reason was crazy about me, had been since she was a baby. So I didn't push her away – I was the only other person she had outside her parents. But now I admit I was a little bit annoyed at the way Felicia was using my attachment to Jessica to fuck with my life. Again, it wasn't Jessie's fault, and it might not even be Felicia's intention, but it was gonna bring that strain back into my marriage if she kept showing up like this.

Felicia had called my cell phone and caught Sookie instead of me. She went on claiming she was stuck in a meeting and since my father was out of town, she was hoping I could pick Jessica from school. Sookie offered to go since I wasn't around and Felicia was just fine with that. Meeting? Since when did Felicia go to meetings? She never had a job that I know of – she lived off her family's money and later on my dad's.

Sookie was just her usual bubbly self when I got home – entertaining Jessica with some paper and crayons, now sprawled on the center table. Jessie's backpack and lunch box on the kitchen island – dear God, it really did look like she was _my_ illegitimate child right now. Lukas thought Jessie was very interesting and followed her every move – it was his usual reaction to other children.

I tried to listen as Jessica told me about her whole day, scratch that, her entire life while simultaneously coloring a giant bird print purple and sipping from the orange juice Sookie had just poured for her. Lukas was on my lap, quietly gaping at his half-aunt and Sookie was just quietly going about dinner with a smile on her face. She was pissed inside, I knew it.

"When is mommy picking me up?" Jessica asked after finishing her story in one breath.

Sookie and I exchanged a look and Sookie shrugged. Oh, awesome, she hadn't even set a time to pick her up.

"I uh… don't know, Jessie. As soon as she can."

Sookie huffed behind Jessica as she worked on something on the stove – thank God Jessica was too young to question her moodiness.

I excused myself to the shower and when I came back they were in the living room eating Sookie's noodles. Sookie looked up at me while she rocked Lukas on her knees and Jessica talked at her about something. I grabbed my phone and went into the kitchen to call Felicia. No answer.

It was several hours later when the doorbell rang – we had been sitting on the couch with a sleepy Jessica sitting between us watching Nickelodeon. She was so tired she didn't even react at first. I got up to open the door and sure as hell there was Felicia – looking indeed like she had just come out of a meeting, primly dressed with a briefcase in her hand, looking flustered.

"Hi Eric, I'm so sorry!" she said sincerely. "My battery ran out and traffic was ridiculous!"

"Come on in…" I waved her in, trying to hide my annoyance.

Sookie was turning over on the couch to face the door, and she eyed Felicia up and down suspiciously.

"Sookie! Thank you so much for this!" Felicia said hurriedly as she strode to the couch. "Jessie, sweetie, come on! Time to go home!"

Jessica looked at her mom sleepily and nodded. Felicia looked sincerely sorry to have made the kid lose her bedtime. Sookie stood to grab her things from the kitchen and I walked around the couch, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Come on, Jessie, time to get up. Your bed is waiting at home." I encouraged her.

Jessica looked up at me and yawned deeply. I smiled, bent over and picked her up – she automatically wrapped her little arms around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Eric… you're the best," Felicia said sweetly, caressing Jessica's back and watching her adoringly.

Sookie came back into the room, halting in mid step – she quickly recovered and smiled as she handed Jessica's things to Felicia.

"Thank you again, Sookie. I'm so sorry I had to bother you guys with this."

Sookie shrugged. "It's fine. I hope your meeting went well."

"Oh it did!" Felicia beamed. "I'm opening my own lingerie shop in town, isn't that great?"

_What?_

"Oh!" Sookie stared at her in surprise. "I had no idea you had any interest in…"

_Working?_

"Lingerie."

"My mother is a designer!" Felicia explained. _Was she?_ "She has been trying to talk me into working with her for years. Since now it is pretty definite Jessie and I are staying in Shreveport…" she beamed at us. "I decided to go with it!"

"That's great…" Sookie eyed me, begging me to help her make conversation.

"Yeah it really is Felicia," I agreed. "Good luck with everything."

"Thank you!" Felicia eyed us both, her smile as wide and strange as Sookie's. "Well… we'll be going! I'll lead you to the car so you can carry her," she told me and started walking away.

Sookie stayed in the apartment as I rode down the elevator with Felicia and an already sleeping Jessica. I noticed Felicia had purchased a new car – clearly daddy had opened his wallet for her again – either my daddy or hers.

"I really _am_ sorry I had to call you!" Felicia whispered so she wouldn't wake Jessica as she unlocked the back door of the car. "I am usually always around for Jessie."

"Well yeah…" I bent over so I could sit Jessica and buckle her seat-belt. "You clearly should consider getting her a sitter now," I said as I straightened back and closed the door noiselessly. "If… you're going to work and all." I eyed her strangely – it was strange to think of her working.

Felicia smiled, tilting her head at me. "What are you looking at?"

I frowned. "Nothing. Nice briefcase…" I said for a lack of anything else to say.

Felicia laughed, holding it against her chest. "You don't think I can do this, do you?"

"What?"

"You don't think I can actually _work_!" she was amused.

"No! I am sure you can."

"Bullshit!" she giggled in an uncharacteristically girly way as she opened the passenger door to toss the briefcase on the seat. "You are just like your Dad when it comes to your shallow judgment of dirty mistresses."

Wow – that was so not what I wanted her to think.

"Uh, Felicia…"

"It's OK, Eric!" she said playfully as she closed the door and tapped my arm patronizingly. "I am going to enjoy proving both Northman men wrong."

I shifted uncomfortably, tucking my hands into my pockets. "Well I wish you good luck with that. I _really_ do Felicia."

Felicia smiled more genuinely now. "I know you do, Eric. You're a good person." She paused, a smirk curling her lips as she walked around the front of the car to get to the driver's side. "Your _sister_ now… she hates my guts."

I smiled affectionately, thinking of Pam. "Yeah that's Pam… she loves or she hates, there's no middle ground with her."

Felicia narrowed her eyes at me. "I think she got that from your Dad."

Were we talking about our genes now? That was awkward.

"You obviously took up after Helen in that department… You're much more… accommodating."

I _really _didn't want to discuss my mother with her.

"Right… well… drive safe." I said patting the roof of the car, to indicate our little chat was over. "Good night, Felicia."

"Night, Eric."

She got into her seat and drove away after an unnecessary pause to wave at me. I waved back and watched them go. I checked my watch – fuck it was nearly midnight. Poor Jessie.

I found Sookie in the nursery, checking on Lukas and clipping the baby monitor to a different place in the crib. That was Sookie – she did that a hundred times a night because she didn't think it was working properly. It had been tough for her to let Lukas finally go to the nursery – but Zoe finally convinced her it was the best idea. Zoe was good with Sookie, sometimes I felt like she babysat my wife too.

"Hey…" I whispered from the door. "Is he OK?"

Sookie nodded and shushed me with a finger over her lips. We tip toed out and Sookie pulled the door until there was only a gap.

"Are they gone?"

"Yeah, just drove off. Jessie didn't even stir as I put her in the car."

Sookie rolled her eyes. "Maybe she's used to been left at strangers until late hours of the night."

I didn't think that was true – Felicia didn't know that many strangers. Or at least she claimed she didn't.

"We're not strangers…" I said instead. Brain-to-mouth filter at might night – dead. Not supposed to say anything defensive of Felicia to wife who is paranoid about her.

Sookie just narrowed her eyes at that and started heading to our bedroom. I walked back to the living room to clear some of the clutter left by Jessica and finally made it to bed. Sookie walked out of the bathroom after a quick shower wearing pajama pants. I sighed – it's not like I had any energy to talk her into letting me sex her up at this hour anyway – but Sookie in pajama pants was _bad_.

"C'me here…" I pulled the covers away and patted her spot next to me.

Sookie smiled tiredly and complied, promptly snuggling into me and letting me cover us both up.

"Sorry we had such a sucky night," I kissed her forehead.

"I don't mind Jessica," Sookie shrugged. "You know it's not her that rubs me the wrong way."

"I know…" I said rubbing her back. I really didn't have anything to say beyond that. Sookie's irrational fear of Felicia wasn't something I knew how to deal with. It made no sense to me – but I knew not to tell her that too often.

"Oh, I ran into Bill Compton at the park today!" Sookie revealed suddenly, in a much more cheerful, although sleepy voice. "We're having him over for dinner on Friday."

"What?" I frowned. "Bill? Why?"

"He's your publisher!" she said as though it should be obvious – maybe it should.

"But… we're already having dinner with Chow and Crystal on Saturday…" I reminded her.

"I know… which is why we're having Bill on Friday…" Sookie said slowly, as if talking to a foreigner who couldn't speak the language. "I should tell him to bring a date if he wants right?"

"A date?" maybe I am a foreigner.

"A girl!" Sookie slapped my chest and huffed. "The guy probably has someone, he wasn't exclusive with his wife when he _was_ married," Sookie snorted.

"Uhm… yeah… I suppose."

Sookie started talking about what she was thinking about cooking for Bill and his hypothetical date. She was suddenly really perky and… _awake_. I was just tired and really annoyed at her pajama pants right now. Thinking about wasting Friday night _and_ Saturday night socializing and how that would affect my plans for getting my wife naked made me even grumpier.

"What do you think?" Sookie asked, patting my chest again.

"Sorry, what?"

"Where the hell were you?" Sookie laughed. "I just asked if we should do fish for Friday?"

"Uh, sure, let's go with that."

"Excellent!"

"Can we go to sleep now?" I yawned for effect.

"Sure." Sookie relented.

She rolled on her side and I tucked her against my chest, nuzzling into her hair. "Night."

"Night, Eric."

Two minutes later we heard Lukas crying through the baby monitor.

"Damn…" Sookie mumbled.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry, but you're the one with the boobs," I nudged her when she didn't move. Lukas was not a moody baby, if he was crying, he was hungry.

"Fine…" she sighed and scurried off the bed.

xxxxxxx


	33. Chapter 33

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

On Friday at five I was at my desk, switching off my laptop and shoving it into my bag when I took a quick look around. Sandra's desk was already empty, as was Barney's. I thought I was alone in the room when Claudine showed up, coming from her personal office down the hall. She wore a fleecy, yet elegant dress – it threw me off – I was used to Claudine in solid color pant suits.

"Aren't we pretty?" I teased her.

"Oh this old thing?" Claudine glanced down at her _old_ thing that probably cost more than my salary. "Found it at the back of my closet – it's a hot day," she shrugged.

I nodded, standing up from my chair. "So I'm having your friend Bill over for dinner tonight!"

"Bill?" Claudine cocked her head curiously. "I haven't talked to him in a while."

"I thought you were friends?" I asked grabbing my laptop case and my purse.

"I hate hanging around divorcees…" Claudine made a face that said she wasn't particularly proud to admit it.

I glared at her. "I was almost a divorcee last year…"

"Pfft!" Claudine waved me away dismissively. "You were not! I never believed for a second you would follow through with it!"

I opened my mouth to retort but slumped my shoulders when I decided it would terrible bad form to whine _I would too_ like a child – especially because I was _happy_ it hadn't turn out that way.

"Well I'm going home," I decided to say and started turning away. "Oh… by the way!" I turned back around and caught Claudine leaning on my desk to peek at my picture frame with the photograph of Lukas and Eric smiling at me. "Why _did_ Bill and Lorena split up anyway?"

Claudine grinned at me and straightened up, bouncing over to me like a fourteen year old who just read the brand new gossip magazine. "Are you ready to be shocked?"

I widened my eyes. "That good?"

Claudine dramatically reached for the nearest chair and rolled it behind me – I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Lorena got involved with a man who wasn't keen on this open relationship thing. She liked him enough to quit Bill."

I rolled my eyes again. "Yeah, I figured out that much. So who is it?"

"Your husband's boss!" Claudine giggled.

I blinked repeatedly. "Wait… which boss?" It was funny I still thought of Russell as Eric's boss, even though he was more like a supervisor. Steve had just gotten married and… "_No!_" I gasped.

Claudine nodded. "Niall Brigant."

That chair wasn't that bad an idea anymore. I plunked down ungracefully, cuddling my laptop case to my chest.

"Wasn't he married?" I asked.

"Oh Sookie, you need to keep up!" Claudine snorted. "Widow."

"Oh… wow… poor Bill."

"He'll be fine," Claudine waved it away.

I shook my head. "Niall's a lot older than Lorena!" I said.

"A lot wealthier too…" Claudine rolled her eyes.

"Oh!" I shook my head. "I didn't think Lorena was like that."

Claudine shrugged. "Who cares? So… you have fun tonight with Billy. I'll see you Monday!"

"Kay.."

I drove home, trying not to think poorly of Lorena. She was a great doctor and a sweet lady I guess it wasn't my business anyway.

Zoe and Lukas were having a giggle fest in the nursery when I arrived. She had just changed his diaper and he squealed happily when he saw me.

"Oh hi Sookie!" Zoe beamed. "Mr. Northman arrived about an hour ago – he's in the shower, I think."

"Oh, thanks Zoe…" I said as I walked over to scoop up my baby in my arms. "Hello little man! I missed you!" I nuzzled him and rocked him against my chest – I always relaxed when I had my boy in my arms. "Did you miss me?"

Zoe stepped away to let me do my thing and be a gooey mommy. I heard her going down the hallway as I eased onto the rocking chair. Lukas was very smiley tonight and he started babbling at me and it was the cutest thing ever.

I sat there with Luke for a bit – playing with him – when suddenly my nose was assaulted by Eric's cologne. I looked up he had just entered the room, a towel still around his neck, and he got pants on, thank God – but no shirt!

"Eric, what the hell! Zoe's still here!"

Eric shrugged. "She's grabbing her things in the living room." He leaned over and kissed me. "How was your day?"

"Boring. Yours?"

"Bloody."

I shuddered. "Ok, that's enough. Will you get started on the fish while I shower?"

"Yep."

"Sookie I…" Zoe came walking into the nursery and halted at the door, her jaw going slack as she took in my bare chested husband. She flushed and immediately rolled her eyes away from him.

"Yes, Zoe?" I asked, standing up with Lukas.

"I uh… I will be going if you guys don't need me anymore."

"Yes, we're good. Thanks Zoe." I smiled.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Zoe," Eric said, casually gripping both ends of his towel.

Zoe blushed at him and nodded before she scuttled off lightning quick. I rolled my eyes at my husband and he just grinned at me. The idiot knew he had embarrassed the poor girl. I handed Lukas over to him and moved to get ready for my shower.

Around eight, food was ready, we were ready, even Lukas was ready in his best onesie. I had put him in the baby carrier on the counter in the kitchen so he could watch us while we cooked. The doorbell rang and Eric moved to get it while I unstrapped Luke to go say hello to our guests.

Bill looked just like he did when I first met him, all cleaned up and dressy – carrying a bottle of wine like you will. His date was a cute brunette with green eyes who looked _nothing_ like Lorena. Her name was Rebecca and she was a novelist – guess it should be no surprise. They did the appropriate amount of oohs and aaahs over Luke and we all sat down in the living room for about five minutes before we got up to sit and eat.

I thought it would be an awkward night simply because Bill was just not the sort of person who struck you as _entertaining_. But Rebecca made up for that. She was funny and quite chatty. Soon she and I were talking at one end of the table while Eric dealt with Bill at the other end – poor Eric, he would have to suck it up.

It turned out Rebecca had a background as a journalist and we spent some time talking about the death of good journalism. Bill spent some time with Luke on his lap, which was a bit interesting. The baby watched him curiously for a while, but all this grownup did was hold him awkwardly and stare at him. Lukas did like Rebecca though.

At the end of the night I felt good. Eric and Bill sounded a little chummier – maybe it was the wine – and Rebecca and I swapped telephones and e-mails.

Lukas had been keen on staying up with the grownups and refused to sleep early, so by the time we tucked him in the kid was far gone. I raced to the kitchen to do a little cleanup and Eric just walked behind me, whining that we could do that tomorrow. No way the first thing I would do on a Saturday morning would be cleaning up the damn kitchen! I shooed Eric away since he was being no help at all.

After I was done I sneaked into the nursery one more time – force of habit – checked his baby monitor and left. Eric was in bed with his laptop when I came in and he looked up, he had a frowny face on.

"Working?" I snorted.

"Just some quick notes I feel are necessary after I talked to Bill tonight."

"Oh! Well, I won't interrupt ya."

I brushed my teeth and changed for bed – when I got back Eric was putting the laptop away.

"So that was nice right?" I said cheerfully as I pulled the covers.

"The wine was excellent," Eric grinned, his cheeks a bit pink. "But Bill Compton's a bore – poor fucker."

"I thought you guys were pretty chatty there by the end of the night," I teased him. "Like two old little ladies after service."

"That was the alcohol." Eric grinned as he watched me fluffing my pillows.

"Well what is that saying? _I drink to make other people more interesting_?"

Eric nodded. "I just need to have a glass in my hand every time I talk to him."

I giggled and sighed, happy and comfortably in place. I closed my eyes thinking we were done talking but I suddenly felt the covers being pulled away from me.

"Hey!" I whined.

"Oh thank God!" Eric said as he looked down at me.

"What?" I frowned looking down at myself – what's wrong?

"No pajama pants!" Eric grinned at me.

Oh… he wanted to play!

"Oh Eric, go to sleep, you're drunk!" I teased, turning my back to him.

"Feel free to take advantage of me!" he whispered as he bent over to nuzzle into my neck.

I giggled at the way his stubble was prickling my skin and then I yelped when he yanked the hem of my nightgown up.

"I'm sleepy!" I lied while I wiggled against his hands as he palmed my ass deliberately.

"Tease," he accused into my ear before sucking my earlobe into his mouth.

I fought him off a while longer, but he just ended up tickling me and before I knew it we were both done teasing. My panties were gone and Eric was riding home earnestly.

"Oh fuck!" I threw my head back into the pillow and giggled – he'd hit a pretty neat spot that had me seeing stars. I moaned happily, sliding my hands up and down Eric's arms as we moved – loving to feel his muscles working. I missed his lips on me so I opened my eyes and clasped my hands around the back of his neck, he had been watching me the whole time like the perv he was. "Kiss me!"

He did, slow and sensual like the rhythm of his thrusts. He was hitting so deep, he was so loving I was surprised. His mood had been playful a minute ago, and now he was so tender. I loved my Eric, I never knew what to expect – and he usually blew me away with his love – whether it was fast and furious, or slow and loving.

He pulled away for air and I gasped, my eyes on his as he moved a certain way that made me tremble deliciously. He smiled, touching his forehead to mine while he adjusted his position so he could rub against my clit just the right way. I came moments before him, wrapping my thighs around his hips and clinging to his neck tightly.

"Oh Sookie…" Eric moaned as he dropped his head to the crook of my neck, his whole body shuddering as he came. "Fuck!"

I giggled again, feeling pathetically happy – I hadn't had a drop of wine but I was fully drunk on him.

"Oh baby that was worth the week we had…" I sighed, stroking his hair lazily as we both tried to breathe.

"You're welcome," Eric teased, kissing my neck.

I slapped his back weakly. "Don't be so cocky!" I didn't sound very mad – he had reason to be. It's not like I went around sleeping with other men to know he was good. But I knew plenty of women, especially married women, and from their accounts of their sex lives, I was damn lucky.

Now I was just mad we hadn't done this earlier in the week. After Felicia's stunt on Monday, which made me really grumpy – the week had not improved. We had a serious I.T. crisis at work, which kept our newsfeed offline way too long. Claudine had been in a terrible mood, and the two people working under me were suddenly less than helpful and I had to do a lot of the work myself. Eric had a rough week at the Free Clinic too and it took hours from his Hospital schedule which didn't sit well with the administration.

"I'm glad we're going away in two weeks," I sighed. "We could both use some peace and quiet."

"If you wanted peace and quiet, you shouldn't have told Jason we were going," Eric snorted, still mostly on top of me, but he lifted his head up to look at me.

He looked ridiculously sexy with his sex hair and wine-induced reddish cheeks. I reached up to ruffle his hair. He closed his eyes and purred deliciously.

"He'll most likely be there for the 4th of July."

"And eat all of our food."

"Gran knows to keep the pantry fully stocked."

Eric wasn't interested in talking anymore as he grabbed the hand I had on his hair and kissed my palm, my wrist and down my arm. My eyes drooped heavily under his smoldering gaze - I could feel the effects down under. Goodness, we had _just_ done it!

"Eric…" I laughed nervously in warning.

"What?" he asked innocently, though the smirk on his lips was mischievous. He kissed each of my finger pads.

"We have things to do tomorrow!" I reminded him.

"It's Saturday," he winked, bending over to kiss my lips.

"But…" I started saying between kisses. "It's… we have… godammit Eric!" I laughed when he licked my neck playfully.

"Now… how did I miss this?" Eric wondered, truly puzzled as he moved down the bed and realized I was still wearing my nightgown.

"You were too excited about my _no pants_ status to mind," I retorted.

Eric grinned boyishly before bending down, a mess of tousled hair all I could see as he started peeling one of my nightgown straps off with his teeth. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, knowing it was futile to try to ward him off as I was already panting again anyway. So I decided to turn the tables on him.

Before he could reach for the other strap I wrapped my legs around him, pushing at his shoulders until he got the message and rolled us over until I was on top, straddling him – a triumphant look on my face, a pleasantly surprised one on his. I pulled my strap back in place and Eric frowned at me. I didn't want him distracted by boobs at the moment. I pointed at him, meaning business.

"You are on diaper duty _and_ you have to fix breakfast in the morning!"

Eric blinked in confusion for a moment, until he realized we were negotiating.

"Done. I'll even run over to the store and grab your favorite pancake syrup," he told me.

I gaped at him. Pancake breakfast!

"Oh! You are on mister!" I said before I reached for the hem of my nightgown and pulled it off over my head, tossing it somewhere behind me.

I made sure that breakfast was going to be amazing next morning. And it totally was.

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV**

We drove to Bon Temps on Sunday the 30th and summer was just as blistering as it had been promised all year. Adele welcomed us on her porch with ice cold tea and hugs. She was beside herself with joy at having her great grandson in her house at last. The first thing she did once she had served us our sweaty tall glasses of tea was take a willing Lukas into her arms. She loved his cute little summer clothes and noticed his hair was a bit longer and curling at the ends. She fussed around with the baby while Sookie and I hauled our luggage and Lukas's upstairs.

Sookie's childhood bedroom had suffered some adaptations over the years – it had a Queen sized bed, which wasn't big enough for me, but it gave me an excuse to curl around Sookie – that would be a problem in this heat. Gran had no A.C., but there was a fan in the bedroom that really didn't do much but circulate hot, damp air. Adele had clearly cleaned the room recently as it smelled like lime.

"Ooh!" Sookie pointed to the corner of the room as I dropped our bags on the floor. "My old crib!"

Gran had unearthed Sookie's baby furniture for Lukas. It was in pretty good condition.

I was as eager as Sookie for these two weeks off – even if we were going to be sweating like pigs in the old unrefrigerated farm house. Spending some time together as a family was just what we both needed – and Lukas wouldn't have to be left with a paid baby sitter for seven hours every day. It was really heart breaking how much we felt like we were missing from being at work – they grow up so damn fast – he was five months old – soon he would be going to college, and I hadn't even taken him to a football game yet.

We would spend lots of time with Lukas outside, help Gran around with fixing the house, and, in my case, I would review and rewrite a lot of material. Sookie was going to beta read my 5 months worth of writing too – and then I would carry on.

I was a bit self conscious at first about writing about myself. But after talking to Bill, and Sookie, both gave me some good advice and perspective. I was going to write about the work and the people, and the experience itself, not just about me. It was a bit nostalgic going over all those years to come up with writing material.

But as I sat down and went over my records and memories, I realized I missed mostly the six first years I was doing that – it were the years Sookie and I were happiest – after that, field work became an escape and, once I stopped to think about it, I realized I was quite miserable during my last campaigns. Writing about it also led me to contemplate whether I was missing campaigning terribly or not. I wasn't, not at the moment – there was too much to enjoy being home. I often thought about just dropping everything at work and going home to hang out with my son. How could I possible go across seas? I supposed the day would come when I would consider going back – but I hoped that when I did, it was for the right reasons, like it was in the beginning.

"Eric dear, where is your pretty little head at my boy?"

I looked up to see Adele standing near me by the window overlooking the backyard where I had been sitting. It was nearly sundown, and the dying sunlight painted the ground and trees outside a multitude of beautiful colors. She was holding Lukas with his back to her chest as she rocked him. Lukas was smiling at me, stretching his tiny arms to try and get my attention.

"Sorry Gran, I was just thinking," I straightened up and offered Lukas a finger for him to grab on – he did, tight. "How are you and your new best friend getting along?"

"He is _just adorable_!" Adele gushed, nuzzling into his head. "I wish you three would just move in with me and let me take care of y'all!"

I grinned. "Don't tempt us."

"Oh… he wants his daddy!" Adele laughed as Lukas tried to launch himself off of her arms.

I reached over and scooped him up, immediately lifting him above my head and blowing on his tummy – he giggled – his round blue eyes on me – he loved it.

"Dinner will be ready soon, Eric dear," Adele patted my arm as I brought Lukas down close to my chest. "I'll go back to helping Sookie in the kitchen, you boys behave."

"We'll try." I laughed.

I stepped outside on the porch to sit on the swing and watch the sunset – I sat Lukas on my knees and started making faces and noises at him – I loved making him laugh – it made me feel like the coolest Dad on earth. Anything I did was simply hilarious to him. We sat there and goofed around for a good five minutes. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I picked it up. It was Felicia. I let it keep buzzing, and tucked it back into my pocket. Whatever it was, she was going to have to call somebody else – I was no longer her relationship handler and it was about time she figured that out.

**xxxxxxx**


	34. Chapter 34

xxxxxxx

**SPOV **

We were lying on a large picnic quilt under the shade of a tree a bit far from the house – the lawn beneath us was a beautiful green and it sloped down on its way to the pond. We set Lukas between us, with a couple of Gran's knitted cushions flanking him so he could sit up. He was wearing his new blue dungarees and he looked adorable! He was currently entertained by Daddy blowing raspberries at him and hiding his toys. Eric's really such a boy. He's lying on his side, head supported by his arm, and he has been pestering the kid continuously – hiding Piglet, hiding Mr. Rabbit, juggling them both – Lukas screams at him and drools mostly. He will sometimes launch himself forward on his tummy to try and get at him. They were having fun.

I sat back, a little behind the baby to help him sit back and I slowly peeled a banana, dicing it onto a small plate. With a spoon I add some honey to the pieces of banana. Lukas loves them like that. I manage to distract him from Daddy momentarily to eat a little.

"Good boy!" I ruffle his thin hair as he gobbles up a tiny piece of banana.

"Don't I get anything?" Eric tossed Piglet at me, it bounced off my head and I glared at him. "Slowtard."

Lukas giggled, thinking Daddy is very funny. Eric beamed at him, tugging at his little foot. I chuckled and shook my head, dipping another tiny bit of banana into the honey and feeding it to the little guy.

"Yum yum!" I encouraged him to take one more piece – Lukas smiled at me, probably thinking Mommy is silly and not as funny as the tall guy who lives with her – so unfair. "Ok… he's full, you get the left overs champ!" I offer Eric the rest of the banana – he is not offended in the least and gladly wipes the plate clean while Lukas stares at the immobile Piglet and Mr. Rabbit, probably thinking they're not as entertaining when they're not flying around. "Ok, let's see…" I grab my cell phone from my pocket where it had just vibrated. "Oh it's Pam!" Eric raised an eyebrow. "Hello Pam!"

"_Sookie hey, how's it going_?" Pam deadpanned.

I laughed, looking at Eric who is watching me curiously – I know my sister-in-law enough to know she's not a small-talk person. "Uhm, just great – we're enjoying a nice summer afternoon outside. How are you doing?"

"_That's sweet. I'm peachy. Look can I speak to Eric?_"

I suppressed a snort. "Sure you can! He's right here! Bye Pam!"

Eric took the phone from me while I helped Lukas sit back against the cushions. "Yeah, what's up?" Eric said into the phone.

Lukas looked suddenly annoyed and bounced on his spot a little until he successfully rolled on his tummy, reaching for Eric's abandoned plate in front of him – I quickly reached it to stop Lukas from smearing his hands into the honey.

"What?" Eric spat into the phone. I looked up at him inquisitively – he wasn't looking at me, but he looked really pissed. "When?" he asked his sister as he scrambled to his feet, ignoring my questioning look.

Lukas followed him with his eyes, which, fortunately made him lose interest on his plate and I was able to quickly put it away. I scooped him onto my lap and grabbed a napkin to dab at all the drool on his little chin. He screamed in my hold, looking at a retreating Eric with annoyance.

"Sssh it's OK baby, he's coming back…" I soothed him.

Eric started pacing at a little distance away from us and he seemed to be mostly listening to whatever Pam was saying. I wondered what it could be to make him so upset. Lukas was currently babbling at me and bouncing on my lap, so I bounced him on my knee and grinned at him. Soon I was laying him on his back to tickle him – he loved it. See? Mommy can be fun too!

Eric returned to us at last, he quietly sat down, giving me back my phone and patting his pockets for his own. He cursed something about batteries before putting it away again.

"Uhm… what was that about?" I asked him as he lay fully on his back and threw an arm over his eyes.

"Jessica broke an arm at a birthday party yesterday."

"Oh… poor thing. How does Pam know that?" I frowned.

"Jessica called her."

"Jessica?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well her Mom obviously made the call, but Felicia isn't crazy enough to try to speak with Pam." He dropped his arm to look at me. "I ignored a call from Felicia yesterday. I'm guessing that's what this was about."

"Why did Jessica call Pam then?"

"I think she just wanted to tell someone, you know kids."

"Where's Axel?" I sighed.

"Where he always is lately, Texas."

"Oh…" I had stopped the bouncy action and Lukas started babbling. "You can call her from my phone if you want," I said.

"She knows I'm not home," Eric shook his head. "I'll talk to her after we're back."

"Eric just call her, she's your sister and she's crazy about you and she broke her arm!" I urged him.

Eric looked at me uncertainly. I rolled my eyes and fished into my pocket for my phone again.

"Do it. You'll feel guilty if you don't."

He sighed and nodded, grabbing the phone from me. I sat quietly trying to hush Lukas while Eric spoke to his sister. From his end of the conversation I gathered Felicia had tried to call him on Jessica's request, she had a pink cast and she was a brave girl who didn't even cry. She wanted Eric to sign her cast. I knew from Eric's tone of voice he felt guilty about ignoring the call now and I hated Felicia just a bit more for that.

I heard Gran calling from the house so I tucked Lukas into me and stood up, glad to have an excuse to not overhear anymore of the conversation. I jogged over towards Gran as well as I could without jostling the baby, though he seemed to enjoy it. Gran was stepping down the porch slowly.

"Gran are you OK?"

"Oh yes, sweetheart, I'm fine…" she said tiredly. "Jason just called; he and Amy are coming in earlier than I anticipated. They'll be here for dinner."

"Oh! I'll take care of dinner then," I said wrapping one arm around her. "You need to rest Gran…"

I didn't like how tired she looked today so I made her go back inside and sit with her knitting. I was actually glad Amy was coming to help; I noticed Gran wasn't keeping up with her own house anymore, and a lot of things needed tending to. Eric had promised me to look after her plants and fix some windows and light fixtures. But the cleaning, I'd rather have Amy help me. Gran was growing older and she insisted on living out here all by herself – I worried.

Soon Eric came into the house with all the picnic stuff and my phone. I immediately told him about Jason and Amy coming and he started to help me. He didn't tell me about his conversation with Jessica but I knew he felt better now that he talked to her. I tried not to dwell on it. I still think her mother is a dangerous manipulative bitch who has a sick perverted interest in my husband – but that wasn't the kid's fault. I just had to manage Felicia and Jessica separately, even if they were part of a package. I'll admit it's tough – but it's just one of those things you have to roll with.

We get the food ready and take turns showering – it's been a really hot day and being cooped up around the oven made it worse. When I get out of the shower I am greeted with the sight of Eric and Lukas napping together on the bed. Eric looks adorable with his feet dangling off the end of the bed. I chuckle and hurry to my bag to grab the camera. I snap a couple of pictures, kneeling beside the bed. Baby Luke is fast asleep – he had an exciting day for a 5 month old! Helping Daddy in the kitchen can be trying – mostly because Daddy needs all the help he can get!

"Oh no, paparazzi…"

I looked up and Eric was awake, barely – he looked beat. I grinned and put the camera away. I stood and leaned down to kiss him.

"You two make me so happy you know that?" I whispered at him.

"Yeah?" Eric grinned sleepily. "Come down here with us then."

"Can't…" I sighed, staring at my sleeping baby enviously. "You boys nap. I'm going to check on Gran and wait for Jason and Amy."

Eric seized the back of my neck and pulled me into a very promising kiss – if it weren't for the baby on the bed that is. I pulled away all misty eyed and regretful. Damn – Eric had been so intense lately!

"What was that for?" I laughed, trying to hold my balance so I wouldn't flop on the bed and squish the baby in the process.

"Free sample."

"Oh… I'll definitely be coming back for the full package!" I teased back as I straightened up. "Don't oversleep, they won't be long."

Indeed they weren't. Jason and Amy arrived half an hour later with more groceries and a bunch of presents for Lukas. Jason and Amy hadn't seen him in nearly two months which meant Eric and I had two pair of free hands all night because the two of them kept taking turns with the baby. Gran was on the moon about having her whole family together and se made us take a bunch of pictures for her mantelpiece. We had two more days until the 4th of July – Gran was probably going to be tired of us all soon.

In the morning, Amy and I helped Gran with breakfast while the boys overslept. We ate together and gossiped a little. Gran left us in the kitchen to answer the phone and I immediately noticed Amy fidgeting.

"What's up?" I snorted, twirling my cup between my hands.

Amy looked at me uncertainly, biting her lip and fidgeting with her own cup. "I have some news… Jason and I want to break it to Gran, but we're not sure how…"

My eyes widened. "Are you guys getting married?"

Amy blushed and shook her head. "Not exactly…" she looked over her shoulder quickly before she turned back to me, a cute grin on her lips. "I'm pregnant, Sookie."

I gasped – Amy shushed me quickly while she blushed vehemently.

"Are you serious?" I bounced in my chair.

"Yes!" Amy chuckled. "We're pretty sure."

"How long?" I asked.

"About sixteen weeks."

I made a quick estimate in my head. "Oh, you're due for a December baby, like Tara!"

Amy's eyes widened. "Yeah…"

"Amy that's great!" I squeezed her hands on top of the table. "Congratulations!"

"Do you think Gran's going to be happy?" Amy asked nervously.

"Are you kidding? She's going to be so happy! She loves you Amy! She keeps telling Jason to make you a decent woman all the time."

Amy snorted. "Doesn't everyone?"

I laughed. "Well, now is as good a time as any!"

"I just want to think about the baby right now!" Amy chuckled nervously.

"Fair enough!" I shrugged. "When are you guys breaking the news?"

Amy paled a bit. "Sometime today, I guess?"

I squealed, clapping my hands together. Amy rolled her eyes at me but laughed along. Gran came back so we quickly changed subjects. I was so happy I could bounce off the walls. Jason was going to be a Daddy! Lukas was going to have a little cousin to play with! Gran would have another great grandkid! We were such a happy little family right now I could cry.

"What's gotten into you?" Eric laughed when I hopped onto his back without warning and started kissing his cheek.

He had been standing on the porch with a mug of hot tea, watching Gran stroll Lukas down the path to pick up the mail with her. I had simply attacked him and hung onto his back, hooking my legs around his waist.

"I'm just happy…" I said, knowing I couldn't tell Jason and Amy's secret. "Thank you for going along with the idea to come down here."

"We would have come for the holiday anyway wouldn't we? It's the Stackhouse tradition," he patted my butt playfully and I slid off his back. "Come here," he pulled me into his side and kissed the top of my head. "You want to go into town with Jason and Amy?"

I shook my head. "No, I'd rather stay here with Gran… she looks tired, doesn't she?"

Eric looked down at Gran as she squinted her eyes to sort through her mail. "Are you worried about her? Do you want me to call Dr. Ludwig and see if she's been taking any house calls we don't know about?"

"Yeah that's probably a good idea…" Gran would sometimes hide her doctor visits from us so we wouldn't worry. She was a very stubborn woman. "Did you recharge your phone by the way?"

"I did."

"No more calls from brave little sisters?" I teased.

"No. She won't call again. I promised her we would hang out when we came back, and sign her cast." He looked at me warily. "That's OK right?"

"Of course it is."

"I'll make that call now," Eric kissed my head again before going in.

I stepped off the porch to go help Gran with the stroller. She picked Lukas up in her arms instead and let me push the stroller beside her. I was really glad we were here to spend some time with her – seeing her this fragile reminded me she needed to be taken care of, but I knew she would never agree to move into Shreveport with us. I hoped at least, by the time we were gone the house would be in better conditions and we would have good news from Dr. Ludwig.

xxxxxxx

**EPOV**

I ended up feeling guilty about ignoring Felicia's call when it turned out it had been Jessica wanting to tell me all about her broken arm. Although it wasn't like she had needed me to go save the day. The kid was just suddenly clingy it seemed. I didn't know if it was her age that caused the change, or the fact everybody knew about her now – Jessica simply demanded attention now. Even from Pam, now that she had finally met her. Pam didn't even sound annoyed about it anymore – she had finally made her peace with the kid. But she'd told me on the phone she thought her mom encouraged her to come to us with everything. Great, now two women in family are paranoid about Felicia – my father's ex mistress is now part of a conspiracy theory. I had called my father soon after, to tell him to get his ass back to Louisiana to spend the friggin' holiday with the kid. He'd been surprised to hear about her arm, and sounded upset for once. Good.

I called Dr. Ludwig to talk about Adele, and she said there had been nothing too serious to report, but she'd visit her to check on her and see if there was a reason she was looking more tired than normal. After Jason and Amy broke the news they were going to have a baby, Adele seemed to get a couple years younger. Now I knew what Sookie had been so gleeful about earlier. Watching the panic in Jason's face after Adele threatened to give him a hiding if he didn't take Amy to the altar soon was a sight to behold.

We would have brought my mother with us for the holiday, but she had actually travelled with her friends to celebrate in, you guessed it, Vegas. Sookie had laughed her ass off at me when I heard the news. I couldn't help it – this was my mother, she had never been to Vegas as far as I knew, not even with Dad. She hardly ever left town if you take out the trips to Sweden to see her in-laws when they were alive and a couple of other business trip she accompanied him to when they were younger. I guess I should brace myself for a boyfriend any time soon. I'm not gonna lie – it's going to be weird as hell and I'll probably hate the motherfucker.

Pam had a new girlfriend, and she was spending the holiday with her. Pam had been very secretive about her, as she had been about every one of her relationships. All we knew was that her name was Miriam, and they had actually met a few years back and had just reconnected.

On the 4th of July we had a nice barbecue dinner and then drove to town to see the fireworks. We weren't sure how Lukas would react to them, so we hung far back with Gran while Jason and Amy jogged down closer to the lake with the rest of the townsfolk. At first, Luke didn't really know what was happening – he reacted to the noise at first – he wasn't scared but his eyes had never been so wide. We got him to see the lights although we didn't know if he was smiling in reaction to them or to Mommy and Daddy being goofy.

Jason and Amy stole Lukas after the fireworks, _to practice_, they said, and took Gran with them to the town Bar & Grill so she could see some old friends and parade her great grandson. Sookie and I just walked around town for a while. There was a lot more people out and about tonight and Sookie joked Bon Temps _almost_ looked like a decently populated town. They did have some new stuff – a new Mall, a new clinic, and damn, we ran into Dr. Ludwig and she said they might finally have a hospital after all.

Amy called Sookie's cell phone to tell us they were driving back because both Gran and Luke were sleepy but we could just stay longer if we wanted to, she'd take care of the baby. Sookie took her up on her offer, knowing Amy was excited about playing mommy and it gave us more alone time.

We walked to the bar and many of the people there waved us over and congratulated us on the baby. We hung out for a bit while Sookie talked to a couple of high school friends and I had a beer or two. Sookie drove on the way back, singing loudly to the horrible country music while I shook my head. Two things hadn't changed. Bon Temp's local radio still sucked, and Sookie still couldn't sing.

"Wait, wait, stop here, stop, stop!" I said when we were driving up the road onto Gran's property.

"What? What's wrong?" Sookie stopped the car and looked at me funny.

I grinned at her. "Switch, get out!" I pointed to her and pushed my door open before I jumped out.

Sookie took another moment before she obeyed and got out of the driver's seat, walking around to take my place so I could drive. She arched an eyebrow at me when I reversed and drove us into the woods, safely hidden between the trees. I parked near the pond.

"Aw Eric, this is cute!" Sookie teased me. "But we're not sixteen anymore!"

"We hadn't met at sixteen, I'm just backtracking our milestones."

Sookie laughed. "You know, I never made out in a car growing up here."

"I would surely hope not!" I frowned at her. "Sookie that would have been _naughty_."

She slapped my shoulder playfully and pushed the car door open to get out. I followed her around the front of the car and grinned when she oh-so-innocently sashayed her way towards me, her skirt billowing around her thighs provocatively as she did so.

I yanked her to me and she giggled, throwing her arms around my neck while I wound mine around her waist. We just stood there, swaying in front of the car, holding each other, listening to the bugs and frogs nearby. At this time of the night, it was the only time the weather was tolerable, and a nice breeze brushed past us.

"Are you happy we came?" I asked her before I started kissing the side of her neck.

"Very!" she sighed, sliding her hands down my arms. "The only thing that would make this better would be if Gran had air conditioning."

"The air conditioning out here is fine," I pointed out as I pulled away and swiveled her around to back her against the car. "We could pitch a tent."

"And get eaten by bugs!" Sookie giggled as I lifted her onto the hood of the car. "What are you doing?" she laughed.

I arched an eyebrow at her. "I'm not getting any action in that house with your brother, Amy and your grandmother under the same roof."

Sookie giggled and grabbed the front of my shirt pulling me down for a kiss. "I love teenager Eric."

"Good, because he's a horny bastard," I confessed, grabbing the hem of her skirt.

"Huh… just like adult Eric," Sookie teased her hands over the front of my jeans.

Sookie squealed when I yanked her panties off and grabbed my arms to steady herself. I shushed her and she giggled into her hands, looking in the direction of the house. It was far enough away but sound carried through the night and Gran had a shotgun.

"I don't plan to die with my ass hanging out, sweetheart…" I admonished her.

Sookie bit her lip and nodded before she grabbed at my shirt and pulled me closer. "Sorry, I'll be good."

"How good?" I arched my eyebrows, my mouth hovering over hers.

"_Very_ good…" Sookie whispered as she worked on my zipper.

xxxxxxx


	35. Chapter 35

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

August marked an interesting time for all of us. It was the month Helen announced she was ready to introduce us all to Jim. Who's Jim, you ask? Her boyfriend. Her _secret_ boyfriend. Oh the look on Eric's face when Helen announced it on a Sunday lunch, just as he was spoon feeding Lukas some baby soup. I had to hold the laughter in as the spoon stopped mid-air, three inches away from my baby's little mouth, he tried to reach forward with his head while Eric just paused there, gaping at his mother. _Priceless_.

I won't say I knew about Jim, but I suspected Helen had found someone around May. She just changed. She seemed happier, more relaxed, she bought new clothes, she changed her hair. Pam and I exchanged this look across the table and I knew she had suspected it too. By then Pam had finally started bringing Miriam (we all loved her) along for our gatherings, so it seemed like the perfect time to bring in _Jim_.

We met him the week after that – and I gotta say: atta girl Helen! He was one hot piece of ass – with all due respect, of course. He looked like a retired James Bond, and just to make my joke even better, he _is_ Scottish. He was tall and broad and he smelled nice and dressed smart. He had a smooth voice and a fatherly thing about him when he talked to the younger people. To Helen he was an absolute prince and I was so happy for her.

As if all of that wasn't enough for me to approve of him, Lukas simply adored him. He spent over an hour on his lap, comfortably, as though he had always known him – and Jim was perfect with him, talking to him and playing with him. Lukas really loved to tug at his well groomed salt & pepper beard. I tip toed around to Helen and whispered '_me likes'_ to my mother-in-law who blushed and then looked very proud.

Pam treated him the same way she treats everyone she has just met, polite distance – but I could tell she approved of him too from the looks she kept giving her mother. Eric, oh poor Eric – I knew this was toughest for him. She was his mommy, but he also felt partially responsible for the demise of her marriage – which was nonsense, of course. He'd done her no good by covering for Axel, but it was Axel who fucked up with Helen. I think Jim was well aware of all of that, and he was respectful and didn't really pressure for too much of a rapport with Eric initially. But Eric could admit, on the drive back home, that he seemed like a good man – and I knew he too couldn't contend with Lukas's seal of approval.

August also marked the month Jason and Amy finally got married. They actually held the ceremony in Bon Temps – probably for Gran's benefit. We really avoided making her go long distances now. Besides, Jason had a lot of friends there still. Amy looked like the cutest bride, baby bump and all. Alcide was there, and to my surprise, so was Debbie Pelt – apparently they'd patched up. He kept a polite distance from us all night and I know Eric saw him there, but he made no comment. Gran had been very happy and I again wanted to just force her into my car and drive her back to Shreveport with us so we could look after her. Jason and I started taking turns driving to the farm house every week to check on her.

August was also the month when Chow and Crystal moved in together which I think really shocked the living lights out of Eric. Chow apparently had never lived with a girlfriend before – well, he had never had a proper girlfriend – just slightly-steady-on-and-off hookups. He was still the same old Chow, but he'd found his match in spunky Crystal.

By August, my one year contract with WVN was reaching its end and Claudine and I started discussing what to do next. I had kept in touch with Bill's lady friend Rebecca (they were no longer seeing each other) and she encouraged me to attend the San Francisco Conference so I could get some ideas about which path I wanted to go. Claudine supported the idea, so we made arrangements – it would take me away from home and my family, for two weeks – the last of August and the first of September. I died a little inside just thinking about being away that long from Luke, but I really thought I should do this. I had given up on my career before, and blamed it on my relationship when it had been me giving up the whole time – I owed it to us to see what else was out there before I settled again.

Eric was still working on his book and it was good to see him dedicate to that task the way he did. He cared so much about the work and I knew he wanted his book to inspire others to volunteer, not just doctors and nurses, but anyone. His work for the Free Clinic warranted a mention on the paper that made us all very proud. He revolutionized the way they worked there and he made it so doctors _wanted_ to be there. Bill was meeting with him regularly and he was very satisfied with his work so far. They had also become friends – he started going to gym with Eric and Chow (who by the way was fit and thinner than he'd ever been since I met him!) and they played tennis. Bill was still boring to hang out with sometimes, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give the guy a chance. Before I knew it, Steve had joined them in the boy's club and for the first time in years I watched Eric have actual friends to hang out with regularly. It was nice.

It meant I didn't feel so bad for him when I had to pack for the Conference – he would be OK, and he had Lukas to keep him company at home. Oh, and Zoe… shit. Zoe has a boyfriend, Zoe has a boyfriend, Zoe has a boyfriend.

"Zoe has a boyfriend," I blurted out as I walked into the living room the day of departure.

"Sorry, what?" Eric looked up from his laptop. He was sitting on the dining table, in his slacks and a t-shirt, working on his book with Lukas on his lap, trying to get to the keyboard.

I shook my head quickly. "I mean Zoe should be here soon." Get it together Sookie, jeez!

Eric looked at the clock on his laptop. "Yeah, I know. How's the packing going? Need any help?"

"Yeah, can I pack you and Luke?" I gave him my best puppy eyes.

Eric smiled. "I wish. Come here," He opened his free arm for me.

I walked into his side and leaned my head on top of his while he wound his arm around my waist. Baby Luke was partially-sandwiched between us and he giggled. I squatted next to Eric's chair so I could be eye level with him and I poked his little nose, making him giggle harder. Oh man, I was going to miss this little guy…

"You know we can Skype every night," Eric told me, running his fingers through my hair.

"I know… and we _will_!" I said with finality. I leaned over to kiss the top of my baby's head and stood up, happily allowing Eric to pull me into him again and leaning down to kiss him.

"This is weird…" Eric said after he pulled away.

"What is?" I was messing with his hair.

Eric looked around me to my luggage set on the corner. "You're the one leaving this time," he said.

I snorted. "I know right?"

"I'm going to miss you," Eric told me, giving my ass a little squeeze.

"I'll miss you more," I gave him another quick peck.

"Dammit…" Eric's hand went into my hair again and he crushed my lips to his, kissing me a lot harder now. I was suddenly all hot and bothered. Luke started giggling between us and we laughed into each other's mouths. No time to get steamy now…

The bell rang and I pulled away with a resigned sigh. "That will be Zoe…"

"Go," Eric slapped my ass playfully.

By lunch time I had everything packed – I had made all the necessary phone calls, including the one to remind Jason I would be out of the state so he would have to drive to Gran's twice in my place next week. I called Gran too – she assured me she was fine and she could still walk on her two legs. Stubborn woman. I said my tearful goodbyes to baby Luke, hugged him to me and didn't want to let go. Finally Eric managed to extricate him from me and hand him over to Zoe so he could drive me to the airport.

"Well… this is it…" I said, turning to Eric when it was time. "I can't believe I won't see my baby for two whole weeks!"

"I know, but it's gonna be good for you, sweetheart…" Eric soothed, rubbing his hand up and down my back and holding me to him. "You want to do this, don't you?"

I nodded against his chest and I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Thank you for being so great."

Eric shook his head, kissing the tip of my nose. "There's nothing to thank me for. You make me great."

My eyes watered up instantly. Dammit Eric was good at saying shit like that! I smiled and bravely held onto my tears, standing on the tip of my toes to kiss him.

"It's funny though…" he said when I pulled away. "Now I know how you feel…" he chuckled.

"I guess you do…" I grinned. "Thanks for lending me your luggage set by the way."

"Don't mention it." Eric kissed me again and they announced my flight. "Bye sweetheart. Call me when you get there." He sighed.

"Will do." I squeezed around his waist one last time and let him go.

I fixed the strap of my carryon over my shoulder and started heading towards the lineup. I was just stopping behind the last person when my phone buzzed in my jeans pocket, and, along with it, I heard Lukas's giggle. I fished the phone out of my pocket and gaped at it as Lukas giggled at me again – his little face, which had been my wallpaper for months, smiled back at me.

"You didn't!" I squealed into the phone as I whirled around to the direction where Eric was still standing, with his own phone on his ear, he was laughing at me.

"Thought you'd like it," he said.

"I think I love you!" I grinned. "A ring tone? Seriously?"

"You can thank Chow."

"I will! Probably not the same way I plan to thank _you_, though," I winked at him.

"You better not," he laughed. "The line's moving."

"OK, bye. Love you!" I fought not to sniffle into the phone.

"Love you too," his eyes went from playful to soft and I knew I was crying anyway.

I was going to miss him like hell too.

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV**

I knew we'd been apart for longer stretches of time before. But it felt different now. It wasn't just the fact I was the one staying behind. Everything was different – we were different. I daresay we were happier. Somehow that made me miss her more. Lukas was going to miss her too once he realized she wasn't coming home for cuddles. He would be OK with just the bottle, but mommy was still his favorite cuddler. I planned to take him to see mom, or hang out with Pam, or whatever, to distract him from Sookie not being there for such an extended period of time.

I drove back home – I had taken the next couple of days off, so I could be with Lukas and work on my book. My schedule at Brigant was very flexible now and I will admit I appreciate being a minor celebrity over there – there are some perks to being the brains behind something big and earning a certain amount of respect that you probably don't even deserve. I was certain Steve was behind most of my pampering. Brigant liked having me on his staff – Russell phoned me when my name came up in the paper and told me Niall would be kissing my feet in no time. I told Russell if he wanted to join Brigant he would be a god. We made plans to see each other sometime before Christmas and catch up. It would be nice seeing my mentor again.

I walked into our apartment feeling a bit depressed to know Sookie wouldn't be here for two whole weeks. I saw my laptop still on the dining table and decided to go to the bathroom and wash up before I went back to work. I walked past the nursery and doubled back, peering inside. Lukas was by himself in his crib – sitting up quietly with his toys. He looked up when I came in and squealed and smiled.

"Hey little guy! What are you doing here? Where's Zoe?"

I moved to wipe his slobbery chin with a cloth and then I straightened up to go find her. I saw the guest bathroom light on and the door open. I thought about turning back and just leaving her to it, but then I heard sniffling.

"Zoe?" I called to her as I approached the bathroom. I didn't want to walk into anything inappropriate so I wanted her to hear me coming.

"Oh!" She yelped from the bathroom before she leapt out of the door, looking up at me like a deer caught in the headlights. "You're back, Dr. Northman!" she sniffled.

"Uh yeah… are you all right?" OK, stupid question. The girl was clearly not all right. Her eyes were wide and watery, her nose was red and runny and the amount of toilet paper bunched in her hand was alarming. "What's wrong?"

"Oh uh…" she stared at me for a moment, then her lips started to tremble. "Zeke and I had a fight!" she wailed and then she broke into sobs, dabbing at her nose with the toilet paper.

Zeke? Zeke was the boyfriend? Zeke and Zoe? Was that alliteration? Right… focus.

"Uh I…. oh… gee… I'm sorry Zoe…" I didn't quite know what to do. I wished Sookie were here, Sookie would know what to say. Me? I would end up being completely inappropriate if I tried to console her. "Is uh… is there anything I can do to help?" Damn, that probably sounded totally wrong.

Zoe just shook her head and blew her nose. "No, I'm afraid not! I just need to…" she sniffled. "Pull myself together! I'm sorry Dr. Northman…" she looked shamed. "I am a _professional_… I'm here to take care of your son!" she said with tearfully resolution and walked past me to go into the nursery.

"Zoe, wait…" I went after her. "You can't work like this…"

"I'm _fide_!" she said nasally as she scooped Lukas into her arms. "I'_b_ here to do _b_y job!" she sniffled noisily.

Lukas stared at the tearful babysitter completely confused – I swear the kid was about to cry himself. Shit… this was weird. Maybe I should go downstairs and ask Tara to talk to her or something. But then I remembered Tara was supposed to be going on a job interview today. Shit… Sookie wasn't away an hour and I was already in trouble.

"Zoe… listen… it's OK. Everybody has the right to a bad day…" I started carefully while she held onto Lukas like he was her security blanket. To his credit, Lukas was getting over her tears already and started nonchalantly nibbling Mr. Rabbit's ear. In a few years girls' tears won't be so easy to ignore. "Give me Lukas… go back to the bathroom and sort yourself out. Then come out and we can talk, and if you want, you can just go home for the day. I'll be working from home. I can take care of Luke."

Zoe considered my proposal and finally sniffled. "I just need to sort _b_yself out… I'll stay…"

"Think about that after you feel a little better…" I gestured for her to give me Lukas.

Zoe stepped closer tentatively and handed me Lukas before she dashed back into the guest bathroom and closed the door behind her. I tucked Lukas closer and stared into his bright blue eyes.

"Missing your mom already?" Lukas just smiled at me. "Yeah you have no idea how in trouble we are do you?"

I put Lukas on the living room rug with his toys and allowed him to just crawl all over the place – he was pretty much good to go these days. We thought about purchasing him a treadmill because he just liked to keep going – sometimes we lost track of him, we had to start putting safety fences between doors. So I put things big enough to block the spaces between armchairs and couches and left him there. I sat on my laptop and tried to go back to work. When Zoe finally came out, she was looking slightly better – but sheepish.

"Hey!" I said carefully when she stepped into the living room. "I made you a cup of tea…" I nodded at the steaming cup across from me.

"Oh… damn Dr. Northman, you didn't have to."

"Yeah I did… come on, sit down. Are you feeling better?"

"Uhm… yeah, I am, thanks." She smiled and slid onto the chair, but turned so she could keep an eye on Lukas as she sipped her tea. "Thanks this is good tea."

"Are you sure you wanna stay?" I asked her again.

She nodded vehemently. "Yes, I'm sure. I was good when I came in – I'd done _all_ my crying and I was gonna be OK… but then, I just started thinking and…" she sniffled again and then shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Well… if you think so…"

"I do."

"All right…"

Zoe smiled and finished her tea. Then she stood, grabbed Lukas, undid my makeshift safety blocks and told me she was going to change him and then give him lunch. Things went well with Zoe from then on – although I was prepared for more waterworks. I managed to get a lot of work done – even with the hospital calling at every hour with some question about the Clinic – sooner or later they'd have to figure their own shit out.

Sookie had texted from the airport in San Francisco and I had called her before she'd even made it to the hotel. We chatted a bit, she made me put Lukas on the line – I don't think he heard her and he seemed a little annoyed at being interrupted.

"Hey Zoe, I'm all done now you can go," I announced as I stepped into the kitchen after having showered.

"Ooh!" Zoe jolted in the middle of the kitchen where she had been texting someone. She blushed and nodded, rubbing at the bridge of her nose to hide her flush. "Yeah, thanks Dr. Northman."

I couldn't help myself and I grinned. "Zeke?" I nodded at the phone.

Zoe blushed harder. "Uhm… yeah…"

"You guys all patched up?"

She seemed to be thinking about that for a moment and when she started biting her lip so it wouldn't tremble I regretted having asked. Dammit – this was why guys didn't do this!

"Not yet…" she shrugged.

"Oh… well…" I looked over at Lukas, on a rug on the tile floor where he was entertaining himself with the new plush puppy Crystal had given him – but he was no help. Apparently he had been using the age old tactic of ignoring the trembling-lipped girl.

"Oh it's just… you know!" Zoe sighed and waved her arms around before sliding onto a stool by the kitchen island. "Zeke got offered a job in New Orleans…" she stared at me seriously.

Oh shit… she was gonna actually talk to me about this?

"Ah… I see…" I walked over to sit across from her. "What does he do?"

"He does something with computers, I have no idea what it is no matter how many times he tries to explain it to me," she rolled her eyes. "He has had this steady job for 5 years, since we graduated – he does really well financially and everything!" she splayed her hands dramatically. "But now apparently this new shiny job, _six hours_ away from me is too hard to pass!"

Lukas had crawled over to me and started picking at my shoe laces so I bent down and picked him up.

"I see… well, you know. Sookie and I did the long distance thing… a _lot_," I shrugged. "I'm not saying it's ideal, but, it's not the end of the world. Until you can work something out."

Zoe bit her lip and stared at me, apparently hoping for me to continue. Shit, that was really all I got.

"Did he ask you what you think?" I prodded.

Zoe nodded.

"What did you say?"

Now she looked embarrassed and she smiled a little when Lukas extended her the plastic chocolate chip cookie he had been nibbling on.

"Uhm… I might have…" she looked around and cleared her throat. "Freaked out on him."

"Mmm…"

It was an hour later when Zoe packed her things and left. I had no idea if I'd helped her or not – or even given her some perspective. But she seemed happy to have had someone at least listen to her, even if everything I said was completely useless.

After Lukas and I had eaten and were comfortable in our pajamas I grabbed my laptop and we went to bed to call Sookie on Skype. I fixed Lukas on my lap in front of the screen – he tried getting to the keys as usual, but one large hand was enough to stop both of his.

Sookie answered quickly – and the camera was soon showing Sookie and her hotel room. She had just showered. She was wearing a robe and drying her hair in front of her laptop.

"Heeey my boys!" she grinned at us.

"Hey there!"

Lukas made the squealy sound he usually made when Sookie was home. Good, he could see her and hear her then. I wasn't sure he would understand what the hell this was about.

"Aaaw hi baby! Is daddy treating you OK?"

"Only dropped him once," I teased.

"Oh pfft!" she sat down to talk to us properly. "So how did it go without mommy?"

"Eh… it was all right."

"Good!"

"How was your day?"

"Interesting! And… people filled!"

She went on to tell us about everything – she'd met up with Rebecca too and they were both going to have dinner together. I ended up telling her about Zoe's drama and she teased me about being left alone with girl trouble to manage, but she seemed proud of me for having actually talked to the girl and tried to help. I was relieved. I knew at least at first Sookie had freaked out about Zoe being around me all the time. I suspected Sookie was the reason Zoe still called me Mister or Doctor Northman, and not just Eric. Not that Sookie had demanded it, but Zoe probably was more than aware of moms being afraid of sitters stealing their husbands. I felt weird being talked to so formally in my own house, but I didn't say anything about it for the exact same reason – it made everybody clear and comfortable about where everybody stood.

We ended call so Sookie could go meet up with Rebecca and then it was time to tuck Luke in. He did OK for his first night without her – but I probably didn't. I hadn't slept in a bed without Sookie in about a year now – and it felt wrong she wasn't there. It was probably weird considering I used to do that at least once a year and it was OK. Maybe nearly losing her made me clingier – or old age.

On Tuesday it was harder to notice Sookie was away because I actually went to the hospital in the morning and wasn't back home until 4, like usual. Zoe greeted me with tea and thanked me for talking to her the night before. She said they were talking so they could figure something out – I was glad I did OK then. After she left I packed some of Lukas's things and decided to take him to the park while it was still day out. A lone Dad at the park? Might be a bad idea if you're married. More women walked up to me than they did at the gym and sometimes not even the wedding band frightened them off. Lafayette was right – "bitches be crazy." I was fixing Lukas into his seat in the car, ready to go home when my phone buzzed. I didn't recognize the number.

"Northman."

"_Hi Eric!_"

I frowned. "Jessica? Hi there sis. Whose phone is this?"

"_Margaret's_…" she seemed to be whispering.

"Who's Margaret?"

"_She works with Mom_."

Ah… Felicia's lingerie shop. She had opened it already, I forgot. I think it happened earlier in the month. Sookie and I had been invited, but we made up an excuse not to go. I know Dad had to go because he was keeping Jessie for the night, but he never made any comments.

"I see… does Margaret know you're using her phone, sweetie?"

Silence.

"Jessie?"

"_Uhm… 'course she does!_"

Yeah I bet she did.

"Fine. What's up?"

"_I'm booored! Mom said we're not going home for another two hours!_"

"Oh… I'm sorry sweetie. That doesn't sound like fun." I got into my seat and buckled my seat belt. "Why don't you ask for some paper and draw like you like to do?"

"_I already did that! I'm booored, Eric. Pleeease come pick me up, pleeeease?"_

Oh brother…

"Does your mom know you're calling me, Jess?"

Silence.

"Jess?"

"_No…_" she whispered.

I sighed. "Jessie I can't simply show up and pick you up without your mom knowing. Look… I'll hang up and call her. I'll pick you up if she says it's OK."

"_Yay!_"

I laughed. "Yeah, fine. And return Margaret her phone!"

"_Ok!_"

I knew Dad was in Washington today, otherwise I'd just have called him to pick her up instead. I knew it was wrong of me to get in the way. But I felt sorry for Jess, stuck at a boring place full of grownups looking at underwear until the late hours of the night. I called Felicia and she was glad I was offering. I ignored the part of me that knew me getting involved like this would only cause problems and drove over there to rescue my sister.

**xxxxxxx**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** Thanks for the comments guys. Y'all made me giggle with your fear of Zoe jumping Eric. I can understand why you guys would fear it, but the intent was never there.

NSOP made 2nd place at the Energize WIP Awards – thanks for all who voted!

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV **

I parked outside a modest but elegant boutique-type construction in pale yellow. The sign hanging outside said _Lace & Dreams. _Very suggestive. Beneath it in italics it said _Eleanor Foster Designs_ - I guessed that was Felicia's mother. I picked Lukas up from his chair and adjusted the collar of his little sweater - I gave him the plastic key ring which was his newest favorite thing for some reason - to keep him distracted and pushed the door open.

It was always strange waltzing into a lingerie shop, even when I happened to be buying something for Sookie. A few heads swiveled my way, all of them female, customers browsing through the many racks filled with women's underwear. _Right_, that was why it was weird. I just kept walking, going straight to the back where I hoped Felicia and Jessica would be - when suddenly a short girl with brown hair and blue eyes blocked my path.

"Hello, welcome to _Lace & Dreams_! Can I help you pick something for your wife, maybe?" she smiled from me to Lukas and back.

I saw the tiny golden sign attached to her chest. So this was Margaret!

"Uh... no... I'm actually here for Jessica. I'm Eric."

Margaret's eyes widened and she gasped as she looked from Lukas to me and seemed to be connecting some imaginary dots. "Oooh, _you're_ Eric!" she looked me up and down in appraisal. "The _brother?" _She cocked an eyebrow.

"Jessica's... yes."

"Humm..." Margaret continued her assessment of me.

I looked around us awkwardly, until I saw a tiny strawberry blonde head sticking out between what looked like two very naughty-looking corsets. I frowned - did she have a bra tied to her head?

"I'll let Felicia know you're here..." Margaret said and started turning around.

"Uhm... Ok..." I said and I quickly looked again in the direction where I'd seen Jessica. "Jess?" I called as I started to walk.

I heard giggling and I reached to pull at the clothes' hangers so I could uncover her crouching in the back.

"There you are!"

Jessica giggled and Lukas squealed when he recognized her, tossing the plastic key ring on the floor.

"What's that on your head?" I enquired as she pulled herself up and wrapped her arms around my legs. "New hat?"

Jessica giggled and pulled it off. "It makes mommy mad."

"Ah..."

Jessica picked Lukas' key ring from the floor and gave it back to him. "Here you go Luke!"

"Thanks Jess." I looked up and around and I saw Felicia striding towards her, knitting her way around the several racks with practiced ease. "Good, there's your Mom. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeop!"

"Hello, Eric!" Felicia smiled at me as she approached. "And Luke!" She looked over at Jessica and rolled her eyes. "Put that back where you found it!"

Jessica quickly turned around and disappeared.

"I didn't expect you to be so well guarded!" Felicia said as she reached over to tug at Lukas' little feet. "Sookie sent him to keep an eye on you?"

"Uhm... no, not really. Sookie's out of town."

"Ah! That must be... awkward for you!" she teased, cocking her head.

I shrugged. "Karma."

Felicia grinned - it was odd - not something I saw her do often. "So, you seem to be doing well!" I said looking around. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, it's not really that impressive," Felicia shrugged. "It's a well established franchise in the East Coast. I'm just following instructions."

"Well... even that takes some skill."

Felicia laughed. "You're teasing me."

Was I? I should stop then. "Uhm... so I'm ready to go with Jess if you're OK with that," I said looking around to see if she was back yet. "Would Dad be with her now if he were in town?"

"Yes, that's our arrangement," Felicia nodded. "With how much he's out of town we should probably look at alternatives," she sighed. "This can't be that much fun for her."

Jessica was back, with her school backpack and lunch box.

"You're all set?" I asked her, offering her my hand.

Jessica nodded and looked at her Mom seriously. Felicia smiled dotingly at her. "Be good to Eric, sweetie. Mommy will pick you up when she's done here, OK?" Jessie nodded. "Thank you so much for doing this Eric," she smiled at me. "We're so lucky we have you."

"Uh... yeah well," I started tugging at Jessie's hand and stepping back. "See you later then."

"Later! Bye Luke!"

Jessica was quiet in the back seat – I kept checking on her through the rearview mirror and she didn't look like herself at all. I tried making conversation, but she just wasn't into it. She refused ice cream! So I just drove home and let her sprawl herself on the couch in front of the TV while I fed Luke.

"Knock knock anybody home?"

I heard Tara from the kitchen, immediately followed by Jessica's voice, although I couldn't make out what she said. Lukas was making a mess with his food and I couldn't hear them. A moment later Tara poked her head inside with a quirked eyebrow.

"Hello, Eric!"

"Tara… hi!" I eyed her strangely. "Did you forget Sookie…?"

"Uhm… no, no I didn't!" Tara smiled at the mess Lukas was making wit his food. "Lovely phase ain't it?"

"Oh, I love it," I snorted. "You here to check on me then?"

"Pretty much!" Tara grinned. "How's your fridge? You got food?"

"She hasn't been away for 48 hours!" I laughed.

"I know, I'm just teasing. _Really_ I just came over to tell you about my interview!" she pulled a chair and sat down.

"Oh?" I dabbed at Lukas's chin, which had taken more food than his tummy, with a napkin.

"I'm not sure Sookie told you but… it was an interview at Royalty!"

"She didn't… or maybe she did," I shrugged. "Sorry. So how did it go?"

"It was interesting! Your friend's kind of modest. That place looks big!"

"Yeah it does. Did you get to see him?"

Tara snorted. "Of course not! Guy probably didn't even know I was there. He gave me his card and suggested I looked into his Marketing department about two months ago. He probably doesn't even remember me."

"Or maybe he does," I shrugged. Bill looked like he was as aloof as they come, but once you get to know him he's sharper than you think. I had come to respect the guy in the past few months. "Did you like what they're offering?"

Tara tilted her head thinking about it. "I think so. I mean it's probably one of the best companies I've been to so far – and I know there haven't been a lot! But the whole package is quite good. And they have a pretty decent daycare, which is more than I expected."

"That's good. Where's Grace by the way?"

"Lafayette and Alejandro took her shopping." She rolled her eyes. "That kid is gonna have more bling than both of them together by the time she's 10."

"Hey, Eric…" Jessica appeared on the doorway. "I'm sleepy. Can I take a nap?"

Damn she really did look tired.

"Sure Jess. Here, I'll get you tucked in. Will you watch Luke for a moment Tara?"

"Sure."

I led Jessica to the bedroom and tucked her in under the covers. I checked the clock, it was 8-ish. I think her bed time was at 9, but the kid was pretty exhausted. I wondered if Felicia had been keeping her up at late hours every night she had the kid with her.

When I got back to the kitchen Tara had miraculously cleaned the mess Luke had made way more efficiently and he apparently was eating now.

"How did you do that?" I asked annoyed.

"Talent." Tara answered without looking at me as I slid onto the seat she had vacated. "So I know it's absolutely not my place to say this. But you do realize that girl's mother is turning into your sister's surrogate father right?"

"Oh not you too! What am I supposed to do? Not help the kid when she asks for my help?" I tried not to get too annoyed at Tara – Sookie would chew my head off if I was too rude.

"No. But you need to talk to her mother and set her straight about stuff," Tara continued calmly. "Jessica comes to you more often than not because her mother encourages that."

I tried to think about a refute but I had none. "OK. Maybe she does that. Yes, it's fucking weird, but well... what am I supposed to do?"

"_Talk_ to her!" Tara rolled her eyes at me. "She clearly has a huge inappropriate boner for you!"

"Uhm… not she doesn't…" the idea was ludicrous.

Tara scoffed. "Men!"

"That's just crazy, Tara. She has been trying to get back into my father's good graces. She wants him to fucking marry her!"

"Yeah, how's that going for her?" Tara eyed me like I was dumb.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't care either way."

"Yeah right!" Tara shook her head. "Listen, Eric dude… I like you, you're good people. But you're _really_ way in over your head with this lady friend of your Dad's. You don't even realize it, but you're taking your Dad's place in both their lives. You better do something about that quick, before it screws things up for real between you and Sookie. She's been awful patient with the whole thing, because she loves you. But love only takes us so far."

I wanted to protest, but I realized I couldn't. I didn't want to admit it, but a tiny part of me did understand what she was saying. It was just too fucked up to think about. But I had to admit the signs had been there.

I sat there staring uncomfortably as Tara picked up Lukas's bowl to clean it up and Luke followed her with his eyes, tapping his hands on the high chair. Tara turned back to me and she had an almost pitying look on her face now. Oh fuck, that's just awesome.

"Look Eric… I'm sorry. This really is not my place. I am merely looking out for my girl, you understand?"

I nodded. "Of course I do Tara. I'm happy Sookie has a friend like you. I'll… seriously think about everything you've just said. I promise."

"It's all a girl can ask!" Tara clasped her hands in front of her. "If you do run out of food, you can always come by downstairs by the way." She winked and I rolled my eyes at her.

I picked up Luke and followed her to the door. Then I tucked in Luke as Sookie had texted me letting me know she would be calling in too late at night and to not keep Luke up for her. I sat in the living room with my laptop and the TV on, not wanting to disturb Jessica's sleep.

Shit this was too fucked up wasn't it? Had I just been ignoring the whole thing because I didn't want to deal with it? Because now that Tara had laid it all out like that I had to admit it sounded like I had already known that shit and _chosen_ not to acknowledge it. Can you blame me? That's the kind of shit you never want to have to deal with.

At ten thirty Felicia rang the doorbell and I had been almost dozing on the couch. I got up to answer it. There she was all smiling and grateful at my doorstep.

"Hey…" I checked my watch. "You close up late huh?"

She shrugged. "We're trying to build up our clientele!" she leaned against the doorframe. "Sorry for using you again. You're just so great," she patted my arm. "Go get Jessie and I'll leave you be."

"Right erm… give me a moment…"

She was soundly asleep and of course I didn't want to wake her up. So I just scooped her into my arms and told Felicia to lead the way to the car. Lukas was sleeping and would be OK for just a few minutes. Fortunately her car wasn't far and I quickly fixed Jessica and her seat belt.

"Thanks, Eric. No wonder she loves you so much," Felicia said as she closed the door. "She's your biggest fan you know?"

I stepped back and I thought about what Tara said. Somehow bringing this up on the sidewalk with Jessica right there just sounded wrong. I shook my head and Felicia frowned.

"Where did you go there for a moment?"

"Sorry. I'm just tired."

Felicia looked appropriately embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Of course you are. Thanks again Eric."

"You're welcome."

"So uhm…" she stopped as she got to her own door. "Where's Sookie anyway?"

"San Francisco," I replied tucking my hands into my pockets. "Journalist thing. A conference."

"Oh that's great!" Felicia beamed. "You've always wanted her to improve herself after all!"

Shit. Had we talked about Sookie like that? When?

"Yeah uh… she's just studying her possibilities."

Felicia nodded. "Well that's great. Good night, Eric."

"Yeah, good night." I started turning around and then I stopped myself. "Hey Felicia…"

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV**

It was just after eleven when I finally flopped down on the hotel bed, tucked in my plush hotel robe, a towel wrapped around my hair. I grasped at the fluffy fabric and sniffed it. Damn, now I knew why people stole from hotels. That was good stuff!

I fell on my back and I let out a breath as I stared at the ceiling. What a long day. But a good one. I had met all sorts of interesting people. A lot of them through Rebecca, others through contacts and recommendations from Claudine. I had actually phoned her earlier today and she said she was jealous I was over here and she back in Shreveport. I honestly didn't know why Claudine wasn't running WVN herself – she certainly had been working there longer than anyone I knew.

I had missed my boys terribly though. I kept looking at pictures of them on my cell phone during breaks and debating whether or not to call Eric or text him. But decided against it each time. It was only my second day away – if I couldn't make it without going completely insane with clinginess this was going to suck. I texted him around 7 to tell him I'd be back to my room late and that he shouldn't keep Luke up.

I had eaten a quick salad and steak dinner with Rebecca and two other colleagues we'd spent the day with. Finally we'd all said good night and here I was, trying to muster enough energy to call Eric without falling asleep in my outrageously comfortable bathrobe. It wouldn't be nice to skip out on him. So I rolled off the bed – literally, and dragged myself over to the desk where I'd deposited my laptop. I fired it up and moved to dry my hair and put on some pajamas. By the time I'd brushed my teeth and the tangles off my damp hair I was nearly falling asleep on my face.

I eased myself onto the chair and called Eric on Skype. He answered immediately. It warmed my heart to see his handsome face on the screen. He was in bed, looking beat himself.

"Hi baby!" I fought off a yawn. "Sorry I'm calling in so late. I know you have an early day tomorrow."

"Nah it's fine. I ended up going to work today instead of staying home as I'd planned so I get to sleep in a little tomorrow."

"Oh that's good! Did Luke eat OK today?"

"Yeah he did. Tara did some magic trick or something. I have his bottle ready when he wakes up too."

"Oh, Tara dropped by?" I couldn't fight it off anymore and I concealed my yawn with my hand. "Sorry…"

"That's OK, you're cute."

I giggled. "So, Tara?"

"She wanted to tell me about her interview," he looked suddenly embarrassed. "Did you mention to me she had an interview at Royalty?"

"I did," I laughed. "Did you forget?"

"Yep."

"That's my boy. So how did it go?"

"She said she liked what she saw. So she's waiting now."

"That's good."

"How about you? Sounds like you had a busy day."

"Oh yeah, God, did I!?" I snorted. "Between you and me… I detained only like… 30% of what I heard today."

"You make me so proud."

"Shut up, I'm old!" I laughed.

"You're beautiful."

"Oh shush, don't be cute now. There's nothing I can do about it from here."

"Oh you could strip!" he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Oh fuck no!" I laughed. "You never stripped for me from anywhere!"

"Oh so it's revenge then?"

"Yup," I grinned. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetheart."

"Does Luke miss me?" I made a little pouty face.

"He won't stop talking about you," Eric teased.

"Haha, very funny." I yawned spectacularly then. "Shit, I'm sorry baby. Can we cut this short, I'm so tired."

Eric looked hesitant, like he wanted to say something but nodded. "Yeah, sure. You should rest."

"I'll try making it earlier tomorrow," I said. "Then you can tell me all you boys have been up to without me."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Love you."

"Love you more. Good night, sweetheart."

"Night Eric."

I felt bad for letting go so soon. But God I was so tired. Maybe I was too used to my Shreveport routine – maybe I was the one who should start going to the gym! I couldn't help but remember the expression on Eric's face before we hung up. It looked as though something was bothering him – but he didn't push to talk more…. So I hoped it wasn't anything bad…

I couldn't dwell on it too long. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. I woke up feeling like I had _just_ closed my eyes. I just hate that feeling.

**xxxxxxx**


	37. Chapter 37

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV **

I had not personally stepped into the North Corp's Headquarters in years – but since it seemed it would be easier to get an appointment with my father over there that's exactly what I did. On Thursday, after work, I called Zoe telling her I would be a little late – she said it wasn't a problem. I made my way through the hallways, noticing how very little seemed to have changed since the last time I was here. The same familiar heads nodded and smiled at me as I passed them through their cubicles. At the top floor, the secretary, I think her name was Chris, informed me my father was in the conference room 3, four floors below – I thanked her and made my way down there.

I was just stepping out of the elevator when I heard a familiar voice, not my father's, coming from my right. I started towards that direction. Coming out of double doors into a cozy sitting room, I saw Stan Banker, suited up, speaking with two women who hung to his every word while they smiled and nodded fervently. I stopped and waited until they were done.

"Oh Eric!" Stan couldn't hide his surprise. "It's been a while, how are you doing?" he clasped my shoulder. "Looking good. How's the family?"

"They're fine. How's everyone in Texas?" I asked him while keeping an eye on the double doors hoping for a sign my father was in there.

"Everyone's great." Stan looked over his shoulder. "Yeah, he's in there. Go ahead, he'll be happy to see you.

"Thanks uh… good to see you, Stan."

I knocked lightly on the door before I poked my head inside. Father was at the head of the table, casting a long shadow on the white projection screen behind him. He seemed to be putting away his laptop and reading glasses.

"Oh Eric!" he looked up in surprise. "Jesus, that's right, I forgot you were going to drop by!"

"Bad time?" I asked him.

"No, not at all. We're just finished," he motioned to the empty room. "Would you mind switching that thing off, please?" he pointed at the projector, still running at the other end of the table next to me. I moved to switch it off. We were suddenly in the dark, the shades had been drawn closed. "Light switch's behind you." I turned to switch the lights on. "Thanks."

"So how have you been? I haven't heard from you for a while…" I said as I walked along the long table.

Father looked properly embarrassed and nodded. "Yes, I know. I am sorry I've been away for the better part of the year. Sit," he pointed to a chair. "That's how it goes, I'm afraid. Stan and I just have had a lot of things to work on."

I sat down and tried to at least sound interested. "Oh. Some new big acquisition?"

"Quite the contrary!" father leaned back on his chair, and he looked tired, but there was a smile on his face. "I'm… selling the company," he announced.

"You're… what?" everything I had come here to talk about instantly fled my mind.

"Stan is taking the reins fully. He's buying my share and… probably changing the name of the company in a couple of years." He shrugged.

"What… will you do?" I enquired.

"I have my investments, I have real estate, all of which… can be run by other people," he shrugged. "I'm retiring, what can I say?"

I sat there, stunned and then slowly nodded. "Does mom know?"

"Of course she does… she's got her rights to many of my assets so yes, she's been in the know. I hadn't told you or Pam yet because… well… frankly I didn't know how you'd react." He watched me for a moment. "You're shocked. That's not too bad. Pam will probably get me to go to a doctor."

I thought for a moment. "I might know a few good ones I can refer you to."

Father laughed – it was strange, not a sound he made a lot. "How's our boy Lukas?"

"He's huge," I smiled.

"Is he crawling?"

"All over the place. He's like one of those winding toy cars that keep running even when they run into a wall." We laughed. "You've been missing a lot of the fun."

He looked regretful. "I know… but…" he gestured around the room. "Well it's temporary."

"Well maybe once it's all settled we can have you over for dinner more often."

"That would be lovely." He smiled. "So. What brings you here?"

"Felicia," I sighed – no preambles.

"Felicia?" father's mood grew bleak. "What about Felicia?"

I leaned over the table and braced myself for what was sure to be a very awkward conversation. "Are you two together or not?"

He looked instantly confused and uncomfortable. "Eric you know I have no interest in a relationship with that woman anymore. I made that decision a year ago and when we talked after my heart attack the speech was still the same." He watched me. "Why are we even talking about this now? When did you see Felicia?"

"This Tuesday," I sighed. "Jessica called me from her mother's shop, asking me to pick her up because she was bored. You were out of town." My father looked blankly at me. "Does Jessica talk a lot about me?"

Father blinked, sitting back further and frowning. "She talks… about you and Pam… about the same amount."

"Does she spend a lot of time with Pam?" I asked.

"Not that I know of. Pam called her on her birthday and dropped by my apartment to bring her a gift. But that was all." He looked at me strangely. "Eric, what's happening?"

What had happened was that Tuesday night I'd just straight out asked Felicia if she was in love with me. She'd stared at me passively for a moment before she said yes, in a low, charged voice. For a split of second she'd looked so emotional it was disarming – I'd just stood there across her car, gaping at her, my stomach convulsing. Finally she'd broken the silence herself, saying she still had hope my father was coming around – that they had been talking. After that, she'd thanked me again and gotten quickly into the car, driving away.

How did I go about relaying that information to my father? I myself had no idea what to do with this pile of crap. What did that woman want? And what was this mess doing to Jessica? This was too fucked up for words. I knew it was partially my fault. I'd let myself get involved, I was their handler, their go-to-guy and now apparently she was fixated on me as a replacement for what my father apparently refused to be.

"Mr. Northman…" I heard a voice at the door and we both looked up. It was the secretary. "Roger Dalton's waiting in your office, sir. Do I tell him you're busy?" she looked at me uncertainly.

Father looked between the two of us and I just shrugged and he looked at her. "I'll be up in a moment, Chris."

"Yes, sir."

"If Felicia is causing any problems for you…" father said as he stood up.

"Look, she's just…" I shook my head. "Maybe once you're settled it won't be such a problem. She just keeps coming to me for stuff that is really your place to be taking care of." Father looked embarrassed. "I care about Jessica but… you're the father… and I think the kid might be a bit confused about that at the moment. So… you know… step up."

"I'm sorry she's been causing you trouble, son. I'll… I'll speak to Felicia. I'll arrange for a baby sitter. Felicia is against it but… well… we'll see."

"All I ask is that you do something because in the end, this is hurting Jessie most of all."

He nodded. "Of course. Thank you for telling me."

"Bye Dad… once Sookie's back we should make time for dinner."

"I would love that."

So Felicia had been bullshitting me – no surprises there. They hadn't _been talking_ at all. What did she think she was getting out me? What the hell am I going to tell Sookie?

I hadn't heard from Felicia or Jessica since Tuesday. I suppose I should be happy for that. But I knew it was only a matter of time until the next crisis. Unless my father did something about it. I thought about talking to Pam – asking her what her relationship with Jessica had been like. But Dad had done that already – it was apparently pretty impersonal and distant, like Pam would like it to be. What good was to ask anyway – what more did I need to get this in my head?

It was me. She was fixated on me – and she was putting stuff into Jessica's head about me, making the kid feel like I'm the cool guy she should be calling to when she needs stuff instead of her own father.

My phone rang while I was driving, I quickly checked the caller ID and saw it was coming from home. It would be Zoe… Lukas. I quickly pulled over and called her back.

"Zoe?"

"_Oh hi, Dr. Northman! Thanks for getting back to me. We're out of milk…well, good milk anyway… D'you think you could get some on your way back?"_

"Yeah, sure. I'm on it. I won't be long now, Zoe."

"_All right. I'll see you soon._"

I stopped by the supermarket on the way home. I bought more milk and a couple other stuff I knew we were running short of. I made it back home in forty minutes and for a moment, when Lukas squealed and screamed happily at me from the floor, everything just melted away and I just smiled, putting the bags down and squatting as Lukas crawled over to me like a future marathon champion.

"Goodness he's getting faster!" Zoe said, amused, as she watched us.

"Hey, Zoe. How's everything around here?" I asked as I picked my boy up.

"Oh it's just great. Let me take these to the kitchen…" she said scooping the shopping bags up.

"Leave them, Zoe. I'll take care of them."

"Nonsense, I'm just dropping them on the counter!" she said as she hurriedly and efficiently stepped away with the shopping bags. "Ooh! Sookie called!" she said from the kitchen.

"Oh she did?" I followed her while Lukas busied himself with the strings on my hoodie.

"Yes! She said she just needed to listen to Luke's voice…" Zoe smiled at me over her shoulder. "The poor girl!"

"Yeah… how did she sound?" I leaned against the doorframe as I watched Zoe taking the contents out of the bags.

"Honestly?" she cocked an eyebrow. "She sounded miserable!"

"Miserable?" I frowned – she had sounded just fine on Skype last night. "That's… odd."

Zoe shrugged. "She's just missing you guys maybe?"

"Hey… stop that… you're not getting paid extra for that!" I teased – she totally was, but I knew that wasn't why she did it.

Zoe giggled. "It's _fine_… see? All unpacked. All you have to do is put them all away now. I'm done."

"Good. Now beat it, traffic's a bitch."

"All right. Uhm…" she paused looking at me hesitantly, then she smiled. "I'm seeing Zachary later tonight."

"Zachary?" I piped, confused.

"Zeke!"

"Oh Zeke!" I nodded – the boyfriend. "That's great!"

"Yeah! We're going to talk."

"That's good."

"I wanted to thank you. You know, for setting my head straight…"

"Oh… it was nothing."

"I was so hysterical and you made me think so… thanks."

"It's fine." I wasn't used to giving advice so I wasn't used to being thanked for it either.

"Ok. Now I'm going. I'll see you boys tomorrow!"

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

I was bored out of my mind. Week one wasn't even over yet and I was bored! What had happened? The first couple of days were actually quite interesting – I felt like I was with like minded people. But after 4 days cloistered in with a bunch of journalists from all over the country I realized something: I'm not a journalist. Or at least not anymore. Not a passionate one in any case.

I cared about the things that were been discussed to some degree but not as much as I once did. Most of the time I was distracted by thoughts of home, of Luke and Eric and what they would be doing right now. I was a little worried. What would my fellow feminists think of me? I mentioned this to Rebecca and she kindly reminded me she knew exactly how I felt. She had moved on to fiction writing after all. She told me it was probably good that I'd come either way because at the very least, I would leave knowing whether or not I still wanted to be a journalist.

That made me feel slightly better about the whole thing – but I was still pretty pissed with myself. I called home in the middle of the day because I wanted to hear Luke's _voice_. Yes, I know he doesn't properly _speak _yet – but… well… at least Zoe didn't bust out laughing when I asked her to put the phone to his ear so she understood. Eric had been weird since Tuesday – like something was bothering him but he wouldn't say what. But soon I was too moody about my own situation and forgot to nag him for more.

Thursday night, for some reason, Rebecca and her friends decided it was _karaoke_ night. I had to drink _quite_ a bit before I had the courage to sing anything. But after a couple of shots of tequila and two beers, I'd loosened up enough that I agreed to sing _Yellow Submarine_ with Rebecca. Now it was a good thing most of the people in that bar were drunk, or they'd all been able to tell I couldn't sing. As it was, we got a standing ovation, and some dude in a Ramones t-shirt offered to buy me a drink. It had been yeeears any one dude had tried to pick me up at bar! Never mind he was probably drunk too. I politely showed him my wedding band and then, somehow, during conversation, I showed him pictures of Luke and Eric on my cell phone, while he showed me pictures of his cat Lulu.

Back at the hotel I showered, ordered a sandwich to soak up some of the alcohol in my system and finally called Eric on Skype.

"OhaiEricwheresmybaby?" I blurted out – oops, not quite as soberly as I'd hoped.

"He's asleep." Eric frowned at me on the camera. "Hi."

"OhnoImissedhimagain?" I pouted.

"You are so drunk!" Eric laughed at me.

"Very observant of you Dr. Northman!" I managed to speak and breathe. I shook my head and grabbed a bottle of water to help. I took a huge gulp. "Sorry…" I said sheepishly. "Some of these journalists are _wild_ Eric!"

"Really?" Eric smirked at me. "What did you guys do?"

"_Karaoke_."

"Did you sing?" Eric flinched.

"Hey!" I protested. "I'll have you know I was incredibly popular with the crowd!"

"I bet you were," he narrowed his eyes. "What were you wearing?"

I snorted. "Clothes, Eric."

"You're no fun," Eric shook his head. "Well I guess it was your first time drinking in over a year then."

"Oh God it _was_!" I gasped, and then, just to make me feel sillier, I hiccupped. "Sorry."

"Oh you're gonna have so much fun tomorrow, sweetheart…" Eric teased me.

"Oh shush!" I took another gulp of water. "So is Luke missing me at all?" I pouted.

"Of course he is. I have to leave one of your t-shirts in the crib with him or he gets all weepy."

"Aaaww!" my heart clenched. "I miss him so much…"

"I know. But you're having a good time, aren't you?" he asked with a frowny face.

I didn't answer immediately. Well would it be too whiny of me to be completely honest about it?

"Well… not really. I mean, at first, yes. But… I got bored real fast. I just miss you guys."

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Eric looked concerned. "Maybe you're not finding the things that really interest you yet."

"Maybe…." I sighed. "Never mind about me, what's going on over there?"

"Well…" he sat back. "My father's selling the company to Stan."

My jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. I spoke to him today. He's retiring, living off of investments and real estate."

"Now that's a big a change!" I narrowed my eyes. "What do you think triggered it? Divorce? Heart attack?"

Eric shrugged. "Probably both."

"Yeah, probably. How do you feel about that?" I was feeling suddenly sober.

"I don't know. I mean I never had any interest in the family business anyway. I trust the man to know what he's doing. He said mom is aware and I'm sure Pam will have lawyers look into it so she won't be neglected."

"Yeah that sounds like Pam." I smiled fondly thinking of my sister-in-law. Damn I missed her too now. Damn you San Francisco! "I can't wait to come home." I confessed.

Eric watched me for a moment. "Well… Sookie if you're not enjoying yourself – come home."

I shook my head. "I can't. I have to give this a serious try. I can't go back home to manage a group of internet plagiarists for another year. I need to find inspiration somewhere."

"Don't feel pressure to find what you are looking for in two weeks, Sookie."

I smiled. "Rebecca said the very same thing."

"I knew I liked Rebecca," Eric grinned.

"So what prompted you to go see your father anyway?" I knew Eric was as likely to drop by for a visit at his father's company as Axel was to drop by unannounced for dinner. They were both weird as father and son.

Eric looked suddenly hesitant and he took a deep breath. "I think that's a story for when you come back."

I blinked. "Oh no, now you _have_ to tell me!"

"It will just piss you off!"

"It's about Felicia," her name alone left a sour taste in my mouth.

Eric looked unhappy. "Yes. Fine. It is about her."

"What happened?" I demanded.

What he told me next made me want to get on the next plane back to Louisiana so I could find that bitch and beat the shit out of her. All my fears had been solidified – and I wasn't even around to fucking _enjoy_ it! She _confessed_ to having feelings for _my husband_? The son of her god damned baby daddy? How fucking sick could she be? Why was it that as I heard it I wasn't surprised at all but I was fucking furious, to the point I could feel a vein throbbing in my forehead?

Eric tried to calm me down, promising me he was going to put an end to her stalking but that I had to calm down and be cool because Jessica was in the middle of it and he didn't want to hurt her. I felt a little bad when he brought that up. But I shouldn't have to feel bad for wanting to carve that woman's eyes out!

It turned out it was a good thing I had drank so much, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sleep. I hoped somehow my hangover slowed me down and somebody talked me out of flying back home immediately like a petty jealous wife and getting into a humiliating and undignified catfight with the man-stealing-bitch.

**xxxxxxx**

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews. This story isn't going to be much longer so I hope some of you are still with me and that you're interested to see where this is going at last.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:** I'm just gonna leave this lil' chapter right here and go…

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV **

I think missing Sookie made Lukas and me very cranky. He was weepy and whiny, something he wasn't normally and the nurses at Brigant told me I needed to _chill out_ a handful of times. So Saturday I tried to do something to cheer us both up. After breakfast I packed some of Lukas' stuff, grabbed his stroller and drove us to the park. The weather wasn't amazing, but it was warm enough to enjoy the outdoors a little. I sat us on a quilt on the lawn, near another rowdy group of kids and their parents – and a dog. Lukas kept pointing at him with his drooly fist and squealing – so I supposed it was working.

The children would sometimes come over to tease or play with Lukas and he was entertained by their interest. I distracted him with a silly rubber toy so he wouldn't try to crawl after the dog or the children – he did enjoy his _daddy-stop-hiding-my-toys-behind-your-head_ games. After I got him to eat his apple mash I deemed the outing a case of success and decided to pack up and maybe go hang out with Pam or something. I was just adjusting the stroller so I could strap him back in when Lukas squealed behind me. I looked down at him and frowned at the long shadow of someone, projected over him – he seemed to be looking up at its source.

My eyes rolled up to the tall brunette staring back at me behind large sunglasses. She was smiling brightly, knowingly at me – dressed in a black and white dress that seemed too much for a morning at the park. I immediately knew this was another case of _don't-you-remember-me_ and then I totally didn't and it was awkward. I straightened myself up and nodded at her politely, hoping I could just go back to packing my kid up and walking away.

"I thought it was _you_!" the brunette said cheerfully, dashing my hopes for a swift escape. "Who would have thought I'd ever run into you in a park?"

I stared blankly at her, trying not to make it too obvious I was at a complete loss.

She scrunched up her nose at me after a moment and grinned – perfect white teeth framed by lush, red lips. Super model maybe? No I was sure I never met any. "You don't remember me do you?"

Ah shit… there it was.

I shrugged a little, smiling with embarrassment. "Sorry, no."

She pushed her sunglasses up and looked back at me with bright green eyes. She was very pretty – but no, I didn't remember her.

"We saw each other last time about a year ago. FX Air?" She cocked her eyebrows. "I was your lovely stewardess, Dawn Green."

"Ah!" I tried to feign recognition. "Right. Yes, how have you been?"

"Not as well as you I'd say," she peered down at Lukas, who was now on his stomach on the quilt, trying to make a run for it. I quickly kneeled down to keep him from escaping the quilt. "Is he yours?"

"Yes, yes he is," I scooped him up and stood on my feet.

"Yes I think I do remember there being a baby…" she narrowed her eyes as though she was trying to remember. "You'd been married nine years, hadn't you?"

I could vaguely remember that conversation now and nodded. "Well its ten years now. But yes."

"Right…" she looked around us. "Where is the mysterious wife?"

"San Francisco," I said as I bent down to strap Lukas into his stroller.

"Do you guys have some contractual obligation to live a certain mileage away from each other?" Dawn teased.

I laughed. "Uh no… not really. She's attending a journalism conference."

"Oh wife's a journalist? Doctor and journalist! Fancy!" she watched me with interest as I finished adjusting Lukas and started putting away our stuff. "So when are _you_ flying again?"

"Uh… no current plans."

"Of course!" she eyed Lukas. "You're busy."

"Very…" I straightened myself up again, raking my brain for something polite to say – and then I remembered another bit of our conversation. "Oh so… how did your wedding go? January, right?"

She grinned and nodded. "That didn't happen."

"Oh… I'm… I'm sorry to hear that."

She shrugged. "I'm fine. It wasn't meant to be."

"No, I guess not."

"Are you heading somewhere now?" she looked at me and then at Lukas on the stroller. "Could I talk you boys into a cup of coffee?" then she widened her eyes. "Right, you don't do coffee!" she giggled. "Ice cream then?"

I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, and before I knew it we were heading to the mall across the street – Dawn sure did like to talk. I wondered if she was in the habit of picking up people she barely knew for coffee or ice cream simply so she would have someone to talk to. Had the groom given up on account of his ears bleeding?

Lukas was in love with her, I think. He practically launched himself into her arms and he was very intrigued by her bracelets. He seemed to hang on to her every word too – he watched her with his mouth ajar. He had a similar reaction to Gracie – even though Gracie couldn't quite speak (_human_) at the moment. Hey I had to be positive, she kept him distracted and entertained – he wasn't crying or whining, so it was all good.

After we were done and Dawn actually realized she had to go meet a friend across town, we got up and I walked her to her car in the mall's parking lot. She was just fishing in her purse for her keys when another familiar voice echoed in the parking lot.

"_Eric_!"

We both looked up as Jessica came running at us from inside the elevator area. I looked up behind her and saw Felicia, who had just stopped outside the doorway and seen me – her eyes flying quickly over to Dawn and back at me – she frowned.

"Oh hey short stuff…" I laughed as Jessica clung to my legs excitedly. "What are you doing here?"

"Mommy promised me new shoes!" Jessica lifted a hot pink shopping bag, probably containing said shoes. "Hi Lukey!" she bent over the stroller and tugged at his little hand a bit. "And who are you?" she turned to Dawn unabashedly.

Dawn looked down at her, just as Felicia approached. "Oh, I'm Dawn, who are you?"

"I'm Jessica."

"Nice to meet you Jessica!"

"Hello…" Felicia said uncertainly looking between us.

"This is my mommy!" Jessica announced helpfully.

"Uh right… Dawn this is Felicia Foster – Felicia this is Dawn Green."

Dawn smiled and offered Felicia her hand. Felicia eyed her suspiciously and threw me a strange look before she shook her hand, reluctantly it seemed.

"Well you seem to have run into friends so I guess I'll leave you – you seem safe!" Dawn teased me with a wink. "And you little fella are adorable!" she added bending over the stroller to tickle Lukas. She straightened herself up and offered another bright smile at Felicia and Jessica before she moved to open her car door. "Bye y'all!"

"Who was she Eric? She was pretty! Wasn't she pretty, mommy?" Jessica started yapping the minute Dawn drove away.

"Uh…" I hesitated, Felicia didn't look like she agreed with her daughter's assessment but she was waiting for an answer as eagerly as Jessie was. "She's … a friend." She wasn't, but I guess that was better than saying she was a woman who kept running into me and being friendly for no good reason.

"Why haven't I heard of this one before?" Felicia asked, adjusting the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

I frowned as I looked at her. There was more than one thing wrong with that question, but my slow male brain wasn't catching up. _This one_? What other _ones_ had I told her about? What does _one_ even mean in this context? She made it sound like a bad thing. When did I ever talk so much to Felicia anyway – she kept dropping hints that I did but I would remember, wouldn't I? I looked at Jessie for help, but she was busy playing with Lukas.

"Eric…?"

I looked over my shoulder – Pam was strolling up to us hesitatingly. Well what a busy Saturday, Northman. The only thing that would make it better was if I ran into Sookie next – that would make me happy, but unless she'd chosen to surprise-fly back home, that wasn't going to happen was it? My sister frowned as she saw Felicia and then her look softened a bit when Jessica hopped up to give her a hug.

"Pammie!"

"Oh, hi kiddo!" she ruffled her hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Mommy promised me new shoes!" she lifted her hot pink shopping bag again.

"Ah…" Pam looked at Felicia uncomfortably. "Miss Foster…"

Felicia smiled at her sweetly. "Miss Northman."

Jessica looked between them, confused by their treatment of each other.

"Oh hey I was planning to come by and bug you today," I said to Pam to break the awkwardness. "Lukas is grumpy and missing Sookie."

"Oh I bet he is!" Pam said walking past me to check on her nephew in the stroller.

At least Pam saved me from more awkwardness with Felicia. From there we parted ways and I drove behind Pam to her apartment. Miriam was waiting there with lunch. This is the first time my sister has ever lived with anyone – so I guess this is serious.

Both women did their best to cheer Luke up and he enjoyed all the extra attention he was getting. I left them both in the living room with Lukas and sneaked out to the balcony to call Sookie.

"_Hey…" _she answered on the second ring, sounding a bit sad.

"Hey…" I felt stupid for not knowing what to say next. "We miss you." Good one.

"_Aw baby I miss you guys too_," she sighed. _"This isn't getting any better either."_

I want to tell her to come home, but I knew it would make me an ass. I just want her with me. This conference is important for her – I've wanted her to feel better about her career for years and I feel like I held her back by being the one going out there and doing things and needing her home waiting for me. _Shit_, this is what Felicia was talking about when she said I'd always wanted Sookie to better herself. I guess I really did talk to Felicia – this is fucked up. Why did I do that? When did I do that? _This one? What one?_

"_Eric…?"_ Sookie called uncertainly after I say nothing for a long time. _"Are you still there?"_

"Yeah… yeah sorry…" I shook my head and pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose. "No more interesting lectures?"

"_Oh there have been a few… I actually got to talk to two guys from the Explorer, can you believe that?"_ she snorted. _"One of them I actually went to college with... and he was telling me that… well…anyways… How's Luke?"_

"Missing you a lot. He's been grumpy. Pam and Miriam are distracting him right now though."

"_You at Pam's?"_

"Yeah… Miriam's all moved in."

"_I knew it! That's so good though! She's a much better person for her than Lorena…_"

"Lorena?" I frowned.

"_Eric you're such a guy! She was in love with her, remember?"_

"Ah yeah… I guess. I think she's with Brigant now though…"

"_That's what Claudine said! Look at us, we're two gossips you and I… come here and I'll braid your hair!"_

She laughed and it was a delightful sound, one I missed so much. I wished I could just hop on a plane and go to her – let her braid my hair or possibly get her to let me do other things to her instead.

We talked a bit longer, until finally I had to let her go because she had to go somewhere with Rebecca and _Geraldo –_ whoever that guy was.

I drove us home at the end of the afternoon and Lukas was so tired by then he barely made it awake through bath time and a bottle. I put him in his crib and then took a shower myself, ordered a pizza and sat back on the couch with the TV. One more week of this – I could do it.

A couple slices of pizza later I was nearly falling asleep to some Hugh Grant movie on the couch when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I picked it up automatically, hoping it to be Sookie.

"I love you; get your ass back here…" I slurred into the phone.

"_Eric…?"_

Shit…

"Felicia?" I frowned.

"_Yes, hi. Are you busy?"_ she sounded a little off.

"Uhm…" I looked around the dark living room for help – none could be found. "Watching TV. What's up?"

"_I think I have a huge problem…_" she mumbled nearly inaudibly.

I try to wake myself up by pushing myself into a sitting position and rubbing at my face. Shit… when did I last shave?

"What do you mean? Something wrong with Jessica?"

"_No… no, Jessie's fine." _There was a pause. _"I'm right across the street from you."_

"O-kay…?"

"_Do you think you could come down for a bit?"_

"I can't leave Lukas alone in the apartment Felicia…"

"_Fine… then I'll come up. You can talk to me in the hall, I don't care…_" I could hear the sound of her car door opening.

What the hell…?

"Felicia what…"

"_Just talk to me for a minute Eric, I'm not asking too much!_" she said exasperatedly.

"Fine…" I sighed, standing up. "I'll just buzz you in. Don't ring the bell."

"_Thanks._"

I wash the sleep from my face and walk out in the hall to wait for her to come through the elevator. I lean back against my door and fold my arms over my chest. Whatever this is I know I'm not gonna like it.

The elevator opens and out walks Felicia. She has a strained look on her face – her hair is hanging down her shoulders and it looks as though she has been running her fingers through them repeatedly. Shit, this is bad. Why did my father have to sleep with this woman?

"Where's Jessica?" is the first thing out of my mouth.

"She's at home."

"Alone?" I frowned.

Felicia rolled her eyes. "She's asleep in a locked up apartment in a very safe building."

"What are you doing here Felicia?"

She folded her arms across her ribs and stared at me, accusingly. "Who was that girl I saw with you today?"

Is she for real?

"Dawn?" I cocked an eyebrow.

Felicia pursed her lips, looking displeased. "Yes, _that_ girl."

"She's…. I introduced her to you. What the fuck is this about, Felicia?"

"Are you sleeping with her?" she demanded.

Holy fucking shit…

"What?"

Felicia rolled her eyes to the ceiling and I swear I see tears welling up. "I know this is none of my business…"

"None of your… Felicia you do realize I'm married, right?" I try not to raise my voice.

Felicia now rolled her eyes as though she thought I was daft and kept looking at me like she was still expecting an answer. Fuck this.

"You know what? You're right; this is none of your business. This conversation is weirder than I'm comfortable with. Now please leave."

Oh fuck, now she was really crying. I gaped back at her as she stared at me like I'm the crazy, unreasonable one as tears stream down her face.

"Look… Felicia…" I took a tentative step forward as she sagged and dropped her eyes between us. "I don't know what sort of relationship you think we have here. But this is what it is: you're my half-sister's mother. I try to be polite and cordial to you. The minute you start messing with _my_ life though, that's where it goes wrong. And _this_ right here… I don't even know what it is, but it's got to stop!" I said firmly. "I'm married and I love my wife and I have no intention of screwing that up because you don't know what you're doing, OK?"

"I've been so so patient…" she sniffled as she stepped closer to me.

I shook my head as I watched her. "What…"

"You're so so good to me, Eric…" Felicia said as she cupped my face between her hands. "You don't know how many times I wished it had been you I met first…"

I couldn't move. My stomach was churning, I felt as though something unpleasant was stuck in my throat and my arms were dead at my sides. She pushed onto her toes and kissed me, pulling me to her as though her life depended on it.

Shit.

"No!" I pushed her away, my hands locking around her arms. "This is over. I want you out of here right now!" I let go of her and stepped back. I thought I was going to be sick. This had got to have been the most fucked up moment of my life.

Felicia whimpered in response and after staring at me for another moment with a pained look she turned around quickly to the elevator. Mercifully it was still waiting there and she ducked in and disappeared immediately. I backed against my door and ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to wrap my head around what'd just happened.

I'd let it get to this point? What the hell hadn't I seen along the way that led to this?

I heard the house phone ringing three times before it actually registered. I frowned, confused for a moment. I quickly made back into the apartment, not wanting it to wake Lukas up.

"Hello!" I called out roughly – blaming whoever was on the other side for what'd just happened.

"_Dr. Northman?"_ a vaguely familiar female voice asked.

"Yes… who is this?" I reply, a bit more politely.

"_Dr. Northman, this is Dr. Ludwig. I'm calling you about Adele Stackhouse."_

**xxxxxxx**


	39. Chapter 39

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

Gran had always said her greatest fear wasn't dying, but being trapped to a bed, to needles and machines, and depending on other people. She had always said she prayed for a quick, swift death. Apparently God was really listening to her and granted her wish – and even though she's left a gigantic hole in me I am glad she got what she wanted. She died in her sleep, her heart just gave out. Andy Bellefleur, the local Sheriff, had been doing rounds because a group of rowdy teenagers had been spotted around the lake and the cemetery causing trouble. He'd come knocking around six in the afternoon and when Gran didn't answer, Andy was worried – her being old and all. So he broke in and found her asleep on the couch with a book – he noticed she was pale and not breathing, he called Dr. Ludwig, they took her to the hospital in Monroe but she was already dead. It was said she had been dead no more than a couple hours – the thought of her lying there alone was horrible.

Eric called me late in the evening, after he'd driven to Monroe himself after Dr. Ludwig contacted him. He stayed with me on the phone until my tears had ceased – and then he told me to come home. He told me he'd call Jason unless I wanted to do it myself. I chose not to. I didn't trust myself to be able to say the words _Gran is dead_ without breaking into unstoppable tears. After I hung up I packed, although, the weird thing was there were really only a couple of bath things out of my bag by then. I had been debating with myself all day whether or not to simply go home. Maybe it had been a sign – not that it would have made any difference.

After I told Rebecca why I had to go (and cried on her shoulder for an hour), I got a cab to the airport and hoped for an early flight.

I made it back to Shreveport on Sunday around noon. I went home first - I knew Helen had come by to stay with Lukas while Eric went to handle everything in Monroe and Bon Temps. She was waiting for me with a cup of tea and a warm hug. I cuddled with Lukas for as long as I could, debating whether or not to take him down there with me. Helen promised me she would take care of him if I didn't want to drag him along for this. In the end I decided to take her up on her offer. Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro dropped by to hug me and walk me to my car. Helen came along as well, with Lukas in her arms.

"Say bye to Mommy, Luke…" Helen said as she gave him to me as I reached my car.

"Oh baby!" I cuddled him to me, inhaling his sweet baby scent. "Mommy's sorry she has to go again…"

It broke my heart to see the confused look on his little face when I handed him back to Helen. It just wasn't going to be the right environment for a baby. It would be too sad, and at times too busy to care for him properly. He was better here with his grandma.

"Thanks guys…" I said as I turned to hug Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro one last time, and give Gracie a kiss.

"Call us about the funeral…" Tara reminded me.

"I will…" I turned to go into my car and my eyes landed on a familiar looking car across the street. I didn't quite know who it belonged to, but I could swear I saw Felicia's haunted face through the glass before she drove away. I was going to shake it off like just an impression, but as I turned to say bye one last time I caught Helen's eyes following the retreating car. I chose not to think about that for the moment and got into my car.

When I pulled up in front of the farmhouse I saw Jason's truck was already there next to Eric's car. He must have driven over night – my poor brother. Gran was as important to him as she was to me. Having heard me, Jason stepped out onto the porch and I saw my own grief stamped across his face. He jumped down the steps to meet me and for the first time in years, my brother hugged me real tight, buried his face in my shoulder and cried.

"Oh, Jase…" I hugged him back and sniffled. "I know…"

After he'd calmed down I pulled back and kissed him, patting his face.

"Where's Amy?" I asked.

Jason looked pained. "I made her stay home – she's not feeling right, you know? I didn't want her to…"

I nodded. "I know… that was probably a good idea. Let's go inside."

Amy had been having a rough go with the pregnancy, she was often in pain or discomfort – she'd taken time off from work and everything.

"I was just coming over to check on her today…" Jason said as we walked into the living room.

I could see Eric pacing in the kitchen, holding a phone to his ear. Jason told me he was taking care of the funeral arrangements. Jason confessed he couldn't do it himself – and I could understand it. I was glad we had Eric with us.

I sat on the couch with Jason and my eyes fell on the book Gran had probably been reading before she fell asleep, or died, or both. It was her very dog eared copy of _Pride & Prejudice_. I smiled – it had always been a favorite of hers. I stood up and walked over to her favorite chair – her knitting basket was next to it – she had been knitting something cute and pink. Amy was having a little girl. I sniffled and vowed to finish it for Gran… I picked it up; it looked like a tiny sweater. Oh jeez… I sucked at knitting sweaters.

I walked into the kitchen then and Eric looked up, he stopped speaking to whoever he was speaking and opened one arm for me – I walked straight to him and lay my head on his chest. Eric wrapped his arm around me and kept reciting Gran's information, probably to a clerk at the local funeral home. I tuned him out as my eyes made a sweep of the kitchen – everything was pristine clean. Good old Gran never slacked. Curiously, I peeled myself from Eric and walked over to the fridge and opened it. Left over pecan pie and chicken stew – Gran's favorites.

"Yes, thank you. Yes, they'll both come over to sign it." Eric was finishing his phone call. "Thanks, bye."

I turned around to him, and took in his red rimmed eyes. Eric loved Gran too. I walked straight to him once again and wrapped my arms around his waist. I cried it all over again, as hard as I had when he'd phoned me and later on with Rebecca. Eric held me and squeezed me and caressed my back and soothed me. I couldn't believe the woman who had raised me was really gone.

"Did you see her?" I asked into his chest and sniffled.

"Yes I did…" Eric said into my hair.

"What did she look like?"

"Peaceful."

I sighed and squeezed my arms around his waist tighter.

The funeral was on Monday – it looked as though the entire city had come to say their goodbyes. People from Shreveport came to – Tara, Lafayette and Alejandro, with little Gracie as well. Pam and Miriam. Helen and Jim, bringing Lukas with them. Chow and Crystal, Sarah and Steve Newlin. Claudine. To my complete surprise, Axel came down for the funeral as well.

Lukas wanted to go with no one else but me, but that was fine, I missed him just as much – and it made me feel better to hold onto to him through the whole thing. Amy called, and we talked for a bit – she was really sniffly and sad she couldn't come, but I reassured her it was best she stayed home taking care of herself. She asked me to keep an eye on Jason, and I promised I would.

When people finally started dispersing, I slumped on a chair and cuddled a sleeping Luke to my chest, watching as some of Gran's old friends shuffled away. I saw Jason speaking to Mrs. Fortenberry and Pam and Miriam hanging back and talking. Suddenly I felt someone sitting beside me, I smiled as Claudine leaned over and gave me an one armed hug.

"Thank you for being here," I told her. "You've always been more than a boss."

Claudine smiled and played with my hair. "She was a very beautiful, strong lady wasn't she?"

Claudine had opportunity to speak to Gran very few times, but Gran left an impression with very little time needed – I nodded proudly.

"And is how this little guy doing?" Claudine poked Lukas's little nose, but being so tired, he barely twitched it and continued sleeping. "Missed him bad?"

"So bad!" I chuckled as I watched him too. "It makes me sad he won't remember her…"

"But she got to meet him!" Claudine, always the look-for-the-bright-side girl, pointed out. "And she got to go knowing Jason's kid is coming too."

"Yes… I know that made her very happy."

"Listen, you take all the time you need, you hear me? You still have one week for the Conference and I know looking at inventory and wills and… selling houses, all of this is a pain in the neck, especially when it's not even in your city." She sighed. "Just take your time and we'll talk about your career when you come back."

"Thank you Claudine…" I squeezed her hand gratefully. "But I feel as though there is no career to discuss when I get back." Claudine looked at me strangely. "I'm resigning when I come back. My time at WVN is over – I want to move on to different things."

Claudine blinked. "Sookie, I think your grandmother's death is affecting you. Don't think about this now…"

I shook my head. "I've been thinking about this the whole week, Claudine."

Claudine paused. "We'll talk about this when you come back, OK?"

I nodded, not wanting to prolong this either.

"Now I have to drive back…" Claudine stood up and I followed. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you Claudine."

I started turning around to go and find the rest of my family. I see Jim and Miriam standing back a little while Pam, Eric, Helen and Axel seemed to be having a conversation further down the path. I stood next to Miriam, rocking Luke in the cradle of my arms.

"What's going on?"

Miriam and Jim turned acknowledging me.

"I think it is a Northman Conference, of some sort…" Miriam guessed as she watched them. "Looks pretty serious."

I look over at them and I see she is right. Eric and Axel are frowning at each other while Helen seems to be doing the talking and Pam stands at her back, her arms folded. I look over at Jim and he looks at Helen knowingly. I suspect he knows what is going on. I look back at the Northmans and frown.

Eric looks uncomfortable and unhappy – Axel looks embarrassed and then angry. Helen looks really mad and Pam just looks like she's seen it all before. She notices us watching and she suddenly says something to them. Helen, Axel and Eric look over to us, and their eyes land straight on me. Oh Jesus is this about Succubus woman-stealer-of-married-men? What else happened while I was away? The guilty look on Eric's face tells me this _is_ about her.

"Hey Sook…" Jason is suddenly at my side. "Mrs. Fortenberry wants to say goodbye to you."

"Oh… OK…" I take one last look at the Northmans and walk along with Jason to see Maxine.

Back at the farmhouse, after everyone left, I felt so weird walking in knowing Gran was never going to be in that kitchen anymore. I sat down facing the stove and just… spaced out. Memories of growing up in that house, of coming in the morning for breakfast with the smell of Gran's pancakes. Memories of the day I left for college, with Gran beaming proudly at me, letting me know she would be all right here by herself. She was for the most part. She took pride in being self sufficient at her age – she refused moving in with me every time I'd asked. My only regret was that she had to die alone. But then I thought about all the mementos in her living room, the photographs, and the knitting basket. No, I don't think she felt alone.

Eric walked into the kitchen, looking pretty tired too. His coat jacket was gone, as was his tie and his shirt was in dire need of ironing. He slid into the chair next to mine and reached out to stroke my hair before tilting his forehead to mine.

"You OK?" he asked.

I nodded. "Luke still asleep?"

"I put him to bed, he didn't move."

"Good."

Eric pulled away. "Mom offered to take him back to Shreveport if you want."

"Where is she?"

"Outside on the porch with the others."

"And your Dad?"

Eric looked upset suddenly. "He's out there too."

I arched my eyebrows. The thought of Axel and Jim in the same place was still very awkward. I had been too caught up in my own feelings to watch them and see what that had been like.

"Won't they come inside? It's getting chilly out there… We could order pizza. They could all eat before they have to drive home."

"I don't think they'll want to. They want to give you some peace." Eric said stroking my fingers.

"I want Luke to stay," I decided.

"Are you sure?" Eric asked.

"Yeah… I didn't want him here before with all the prepping and people coming in and out. But now it's just going to be me and Jason and lawyers and papers…. It will be fine."

"All right… I'll tell mom," Eric started getting up.

"When do you have to go back?" I asked tugging at his hand – I really hoped he could stay – but I didn't know what his schedule was like.

"I spoke to Steve…" he reassured me. "I'm yours as long as you need me here."

I smiled. "Thanks."

Eric smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of my head. Then he turned and left, probably to go tell Helen Luke was staying with us.

Eventually everyone had to say goodbye. Pam and Miriam were the first. Then it was Axel. He was surprisingly fatherly to me – he hugged me even. Jim and Helen were next. I didn't miss the warning look Helen gave Eric, but I made no comment. Tara, Alejandro and Lafayette had drove away a lot earlier because of Gracie. So it was just me, Eric, Jason and Luke in the house. I told Jason he could go take care of Amy if he wanted – I'd be here the rest of the week and he could come by on the weekend again. But he wanted to stay and do this properly and fast. Jason couldn't deal with pain in a prolonged manner – he liked to move past them quickly and pretend it didn't hurt anymore.

The next day Syd-Matt Lancaster dropped by the house – we'd seen him at the funeral. He was almost as old as Gran had been – had known her for years, and was saddened by her passing. It was comforting to see so many people liked my Gran. We talked about all the legal stuff and papers before lunch. After that we had to clean up. Remove all perishables from the house – that meant all the food. Jason, Eric and I worked in silence – every so often one of us would remember something about Gran and bring it up, then we went back to being silent. Lukas watched us curiously, and only cried and whined for cuddles a couple of times. But it was nice to take those breaks and play with him.

After lunch, Jason decided to go to town to air things out a bit. So it was just me and my boys at the farmhouse. After I put Luke down for a nap I found Eric sitting on the porch steps looking thoughtfully into the trees. I sat down next to him and grasped his hand. We sat in silence for a moment – and then I decided it was time to deal with it.

"So what happened with Felicia?"

Eric wasn't surprised by my question, but he looked as though he was steeling himself for this conversation. He went on to tell me how she hadn't made another appearance until Saturday. He told me about running into this Dawn girl at the park, and how she'd been his stewardess a couple times and that she was a bit quirky and chatty and he ended up going with her across the street to the mall.

"So now I have to worry about stewardesses too?" I snapped.

Eric rolled his eyes impatiently. "You don't have to worry about anyone."

"Oh really? What the hell were you thinking?"

"We just hung out, she was friendly. That's all."

I sighed. "Where does Felicia come into this?"

Eric took a deep breath. "She ran into us in the parking lot and well, she assumed things… just like you just did…" I glared at him. "Later in the evening she called me telling me she was across the street and she asked me to come down and talk to her."

I blinked. "What?"

He shrugged. "I know. But… I didn't want to because I wasn't going to leave Luke alone in the apartment."

"I sure hope not."

"She then said I could see her in the hall."

"Pushy bitch…" I muttered. "You said no, of course?"

"I said yes…" Eric confessed.

"You…" I stood from the step and turned around to face him. "Why would you do that? We don't talk to stalkering bitches Eric! We avoid them! We get restraining orders against them!"

"Sookie she is Jessica's mom…" Eric argued.

"_Bull…shit_!" I growled. "That excuse is not gonna fly anymore, Eric! She could have birthed Jesus Christ and I would still not want her within ten yards of you!"

"I know…" he sighed.

I rolled my eyes now. "OK how did it go?"

Eric looked at the floor between us and sagged. Oh I knew this was not gonna be good. So I walked back and sat down on the step, a bit far from him this time. But close enough that I could beat the shit out of him if I had to.

"Well… she kissed me."

I stared at him. My brain didn't catch up. "What?"

"Well… she said a bunch of stuff before that, stuff you probably don't want to hear… but she kissed me."

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"Jesus…" I dropped my head between my hands. "I'm going to kill her."

"I think my mother might have beaten you to that."

"Helen?" I looked up with a frown.

Eric nodded. "She said she saw Felicia driving away just across from our building the day you drove down here…"

"Yeah I thought I'd seen her… so what?"

"Mom did a bit of digging. She spoke to Pam, Pam told her about how Felicia had been a problem, she mentioned she saw us together at the mall that day and mom just went after her."

"Holy fuck…" I actually laughed at the thought. "What did she do?"

"Apparently… she told her to stay the fuck away from us."

"In those words?" I asked, amused.

"Yes, in those words…" Eric smirked a little.

But the situation was not for joking and I wasn't quite finished yet.

"Ok… what did Felicia say I don't want to hear?"

Eric looked uncomfortable. "She said she had been patient, waiting for me or whatever. That she had wished she had met me first… and she was just tearful and… I don't know… out of her mind? I don't know…"

"Oh fuck, Eric…" I shook my head, feeling sick to my stomach. "It should never have come to this!"

"I know…"

"How did that even happen?"

"I… I don't know…" Eric said. "I guess… I must have been…. No… I know when it was… It was after the miscarriage… I was just lost and… I guess I took to talking to her about you. I'm not blaming you or anything," he added quickly. "That was who I was back then, Sookie, we've talked about this. I ran…"

"And you talked to her about me?" he nodded. "Oh Eric…" I rubbed a hand over my stomach. "And now she's in love with you? She's _sick_! Don't you get it? She goes after unavailable men! Axel, then _you_! The fact that she goes for father and son is just _sick_ beyond words!"

"I know…" Eric ran a hand through his hair. "Don't think I don't know I am to blame for this too but…" he looked at me almost pleadingly. "Sookie I would never _knowingly_ do any of this."

"Yeah… I've heard that before…"

"Sookie…"

"Eric…" I sighed. "I don't want to talk anymore. I know you don't want her and I know I am probably unjustifiably jealous a lot of the time but… this woman is just not allowed in our lives anymore."

"I know," Eric assured me and scooted closer to me on the steps. "I'm changing my numbers and I'm not gonna see or speak to her anymore. Any and all my contact with Jessica will be through my father now."

"What if Jessica calls asking for something?" I asked.

"She'll have to wait until her father can do it for her."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry… for not doing this earlier. For… just generally not knowing how to do this…" Eric wasn't looking at me, but at the floor. "I don't feel anything for her… or any other woman… you know this."

I tilted my head and nodded. "I know. I know it in here," I pointed at my chest. "But we must never put ourselves in situations that lead _us_ or those next to us to doubt."

"I know…" Eric grabbed my hand again. "This situation is over and done with. She is not my problem anymore. Yeah I know you're gonna say you've heard this before… but it's true. This… last bit of insanity has sealed it for me. I can't fix it, so I'm ending it."

"Good… she should _never_ have been your problem." I pulled my hand away and I stood, straightening my skirt. "I'm going to check on Luke…"

I walked into the house and went straight to my old bedroom where Luke was sleeping. I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes. I just stood there with my feelings – trying to sort them out. I knew Eric had no feelings for that woman, but I didn't doubt he felt a certain responsibility to her at the same time – it was the only explanation for him having dragged this pseudo-relationship with her for so long. It wasn't that I thought of them together behind my back and it drove me insane. It was the fear that at some point in our lives when things were strained between us for whatever reason, he'd fall into her clutches for good.

I feared this because I'd been there. I had once thought about drowning my sorrows with another man, and had that man been anyone other than Alcide, who was also on rebound, who knows what might have happened? If both of us hadn't stopped it when we knew we should – I shuddered to think of it. We would so not be standing here if that was the case. So yes I was afraid of Felicia – and I hoped to God Eric meant it this time and she was history.

I wound up curling into bed around Luke and napping with him. I woke up to him palming at my face, in that way babies do without much coordination or measure of strength. I laughed and his little fingers grasped around my lower lip. I gently pulled his little hand away and kissed his chubby hand.

"Hi baby…"

I looked up around us and saw that it was getting darker outside. I slid off the bed and took Lukas with me. We had a quick shower and I put us both into clean clothes before going downstairs again. We found Jason and Eric at the kitchen table, kicking back some beers (probably courtesy of Jason) and looking over an album of old photographs and laughing.

"Well hello…" I arched an eyebrow as I stepped closer, Lukas, now bright awake, bounced in my arms wanting to play.

"Oh hey!" Jason looked at me, a silly grin on his face. "Sook… lookityou!" he held up an old photograph in the air for me to see, but he kept shaking it before I could actually see it. "You were a little muffin!"

"_What_?" I reached out and snatched the photograph from his hand while he giggled. It was a picture of a 10 year old Sookie, chubby and with glasses on. "Dear Lord!"

"It was then Gran got you on that diet…" he grinned at Eric. "You should hear her crying about her cookies going missing!"

"Shut up!" I swatted Jason's head with the photograph and looked at Eric, he was hesitant to laugh along with Jason, but I could tell he was amused. I'd hidden all my photographs from that era for a reason. "I was going through a phase!" I said defensively. "I got better real quick!"

"Sure you did _chubster_…" Jason laughed.

I swatted at him again and Lukas giggled happily in my arms.

"Oh, you like that do ya?" Jason teased him, reaching to tickle at him. "Come 'ere you little…"

I let him have him. Jason lifted him in the air making him giggle harder. He turned my son into an airplane and made him fly around the kitchen and into the living room. We could hear Luke's happy giggling through the house and we looked at each other and smiled.

Then Eric grew serious again and watched me warily. "Are we OK?"

I sighed and walked over to him, moving to sit on his lap. Eric promptly wrapped his arms around me and watched me, waiting for my answer.

"I know you don't _want_ these things to keep happening and when they do you just… well let's face it you suck at controlling them!" Eric just blinked back at me – he wasn't trying to defend himself and I knew he was afraid of the doghouse. "But… well… you changed so much already. We both did! We grew up. So… I hope you take this next step and really… be _done_ with this shit. Because next time this bitch pulls something like this, I'm gonna go apeshit on her ass and I don't care who's mother she is, you hear me?"

Eric nodded quietly and I just wrapped my arms around his neck and we sat like that for a bit. Soon Luke's giggling started getting louder again and Jason came bursting into the kitchen with Luke under his arm – his cheeks red – the poor kid could barely breathe he was laughing so hard.

"Jason, don't kill my child! Let him breathe!" I scrambled out of Eric's lap to rescue my baby. "Gimme!"

"Jeez, relax chubster! He loves it!" Jason teased me.

"Oh shut up, _beanfart_!" I shot back at him and Jason blanched.

"What's that?" Eric laughed behind me.

"Oh! It is a camping story!" I grinned at Jason who narrowed his eyes at me. "Once upon a time a little boy named…"

"Oh no you don't!" Jason threatened to come at me.

I squealed and made a run for it – Luke giggling uncontrollably in my arms. For a moment, I half expected Gran to come and give us a hiding about running around her clean house.

**xxxxxxx**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N:** I knew I should probably expect some negative comments given the route I was taking with this story. I never promised a smooth ride – I never promised two perfect people being perfect together for 40 chapters without missing a beat. It is also interesting I get more comments when I do something that takes these characters from their happy place than when I have them being happy together (because then y'all get mad at me for it). But I know I have to take it all and just go with it – I appreciate your comments, they did help me shape some aspects of the story even. But now, to the guest that finished by saying "…_or I'm out of here. Got it? Good!_" – that is a bit too much. Threatening me, srsly? Come on guest, have a little faith in me! Forty chapters in I think I know where I'm going! ;)

Sorry for the long note. Thank you for your support. I know some of you are still there and still like this story regardless of how much I make these two suffer. Thank you.

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

On Tuesday I woke up to the smell of breakfast – it brought bittersweet memories. I turned in bed and noticed Eric and Lukas were probably already up. So I kicked off my covers and got up to join them downstairs. Jason and Eric were getting breakfast going while Luke sat on a rug with some toys to distract him. We sat and ate breakfast before Jason said he'd like to drive home to Amy today as she'd been feeling a little sick – he'd try and be back later in the week.

So then it was just the three of us in Gran's old farmhouse. I sat on her porch steps with a mug of hot coffee and just stared at her well kept garden and her flowerbeds and sighed sadly.

"What's up?" Eric sat down next to me with Lukas on his lap, he immediately crawled from his arms to my lap.

"It's all just gonna… die without her here…" I said sadly.

"Have you and Jason talked about what you're going to do about the house?" Eric asked, pulling me into his side.

"No… I think we're both reluctant to talk about it…" I confessed looking down.

"You can rent it out if you wanna keep it in the family…" Eric suggested.

"Yeah… we could do that."

The idea of strangers living in my Gran's house though… it was just wrong.

"What do you want to do today?" Eric asked me.

I sighed. "I guess… sort through her personal stuff and decide what stays and what goes to the shelter. Maxine told me she has people that can come by with a truck when I'm ready."

"Church people?"

"Yeah."

"Let's get started then," Eric said with a playful slap to my bottom.

"Ok…" I said reluctantly.

It was painful going through her bedroom – and I started putting too much on the "to keep" pile. Half-way through it I just dropped on her bed and started crying again. Eric pulled me into his arms and comforted me quietly. We eventually got back to it until Eric pointed out it was past lunch time and we should eat.

We drove to town, just to get out of the house a bit. We ate at a new restaurant, which was actually pretty good for Bon Temps. We'd just paid our bill and were heading to the door when we saw Dr. Ludwig being led to her table. I wanted to thank her for always having taken care of Gran, so I tugged at Eric's hand and we walked over to her. We talked briefly and she was really kind. We left again but not before Dr. Ludwig asked Eric to give her a call as soon as he could.

We drove around a bit longer, making excuses not to go back straight away. I was stalling, I know, but I couldn't help it. This is Gran I'm talking about. When we got back I felt a little braver though, and we're able to get through her stuff more quickly – I found a lot less things to cling to.

Jason called at the end of the afternoon and let me know he would be here tomorrow. So I told Eric he should go back to Shreveport with Luke and go back to work. Once Jason was here and we got through the last of the stuff and talked about the house I'd be ready to go. Eric was reluctant to agree but I forced him to. I just wanted to be alone for some reason – and I needed him to take Luke with him for a bit.

He drove home in the evening.

I lay in bed for hours thinking about this house and about so many other things. By the time Jason arrived on Wednesday I'd made up my mind about something. I didn't know how Jason was going to react to it. Or Eric. But I hoped I could make my case.

"Wow so…" Jason stared at the piled up boxes on the porch. "Is this all?"

"Yeah…" I said tiredly. "She kept Grandpa's stuff too and I set them aside in case you wanna keep something."

"Oh… thanks Sook…" Jason ran his hand over the back of his neck and then moved to sit on the porch swing. "This is just too sad."

"I know…" I sat down next to him. "So… the house…"

"Yeah…" Jason's eyes watered and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I can't believe she's not gonna be here anymore."

"I know…" I rubbed his back slowly. "It's just so wrong…"

"I guess…" Jason sat up and took a deep breath. "We should get a real estate agent then."

My eyes widened. "You want to sell it?"

Jason shrugged. "Sook, I live in New Orleans, you live in Shreveport. It's a big property, it needs tending to. What's the point of keeping it? We have no more family here…"

"I want to keep it…" I confessed.

"Sook…" Jason clasped my knee. "So do I but…"

"I can buy your half," I interrupted him.

Jason blinked at me and then frowned uncertainly. "What… you're just gonna move down here?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

Jason looked at me as though I'd grown two heads. "You have a job in Shreveport. It's only two hours away but still… Have you talked to Eric about this?"

"Not yet…" I sighed. "But my job is not a problem…. I'm quitting."

Jason looked at me pityingly. "Sook…"

"I know what I'm doing Jason…"

Jason stared at me dubiously before he chuckled. "Well I sure am glad I never wanted to be a journalist. Alcide quit it, you're quitting it. It must suck!"

I laughed along with him, shaking my head. "It's not that at all, stupid."

"Hey!" Jason flicked my nose, but playfully. I rubbed at it anyway. "What brought this on anyway?"

I shrugged. "It was a dream career from little Sookie. Little Sookie's long gone."

"Who's here now?" he asked me with a weird look.

"Mom Sookie," I shrugged. "I just want to watch my kid grow up a little. Is that so wrong?"

"Jeez, of course not Sook!" Jason sat back and stroked my hair before pulling me into his side. "I'd love it if Amy could stay home too… we just can't afford it." He paused. "Can you?"

I nodded slowly. "I've been doing some math in my head… and Eric said it would be OK, months ago, when I was still on maternity leave. It's not like I'll never work again, I just really want to be home right now. I also need a career change…" I snorted.

"Well isn't Eric heir to his Dad's fortune anyway?" Jason smirked.

"Are you suggesting we kill Mr. Northman?" I elbowed him.

We laughed and sat back in silence for a moment.

"I think you should really discuss this with Eric," Jason said suddenly.

"I will," I said. "But if he agrees to this… will you sell me your half?"

Jason stared at me for a moment and then shook his head. "I'll just sign it off to ya."

"Jason, no…" I shook my head too. "You have the right to…"

"You're my little sister and I get to take care of you. You have a kid, you're going to be quitting your job…"

"You're going to have a kid too and you've just admitted to be having a tight budget!" I countered. "For Amy and the baby, Jase… you're gonna let me pay you."

Jason looked a bit conflicted but he nodded at last. We sat quietly again and just swung, watching the wind ruffling Gran's flowers.

"Gran would be happy knowing her house is in your hands…"

"You think so?" I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah… we both know I would just burn it down the first time I decided to host a barbecue…"

We both laughed until we were shaking.

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV**

I was back to being home without Sookie and after another long day at the hospital on Wednesday, Crystal suggested she take Luke for the evening so I could go have some guy time with Chow. I accepted just so I wouldn't have to go another night without Sookie home. In the end it seemed like a good idea, as the day went on and I just got more irritable. So I told Crystal I'd do it, and thanked her.

"Don't thank me," Crystal smirked. "I just want you to take my man outta the house for a bit."

"You have been living together a month and you're tired of him already?" I teased her.

She swatted my arm and walked away letting me know she was going to tell Chow we had plans.

After dropping Lukas and a bag of stuff at Chow and Crystal's, we left for the closest bar we could find. We hadn't really hung out in nearly two weeks, because with Sookie out of town I just wasn't going to the gym anymore. So when we sat down with the first round of beers, I found myself telling him everything that had happened – it felt good to talk about it with someone who wasn't going to judge me too much, like my family.

"Holy shit that woman's crazy!" was Chow's assessment when I finished.

I agreed, silently nodding as I sipped from my beer. I was never one to label anyone crazy – I'm a doctor and I know how serious mental illnesses actually are. But I suppose I was too inside this situation to not see her that way. When someone causes you so much trouble, you can't help but resent them and call them names, I guess. Even though I knew I had my share of responsibility for it.

I had done a lot of thinking after the fact, and realized I allowed our relationship to go too far. I wasn't thinking about it, obviously. She was a lone woman in a city where she didn't know anyone - with a baby and her lover who was out of town a lot of the time, and spending time with his actual family the rest of the time. I suddenly start coming in to the rescue, and, of course she's going to idealize me as some sort of romantic hero.

I don't really think she actually is in love with me. I think she has this idea of me, because of what I did for her all those years. It's clear to me now I should never have been there to begin with. I should never had talked to her about my problems with Sookie either, but apparently I had done that a little. I guess I just never saw the danger there – she was my _father_'s mistress for God's sakes. To think of her sexually just never fit and I would think it should go the same way for her but… well I guess when you're after married men you don't really have a lot of standards. Judgmental of me to say this, I know, but it's how I see it.

There had been no contact, or attempt to contact me after that night and I hoped she had finally gotten the message. No calls from Jessica either, but, then again, I did change my cell phone number so maybe there had been attempts. When mother told me she had gone to see her I just felt worse. I didn't want to bring her into this, she'd done enough dealing with that woman as it was. My father, upon hearing everything, looked suspiciously unsurprised. I confronted him about him knowing this before and he admitted he'd suspected she had _feelings_ for me and it was part of what made him push her away in the first place. Pam and mom chewed him out for not coming clean with me about this, to warn me at least. I guess I couldn't exactly blame him – and he probably trusted me to have been smarter about this. I'd bitterly joked he should have known better, I was his son.

"And Sookie knows everything?" Chow asked suddenly, dragging me away from my thoughts. I nodded. "I think we need another round," he said raising his hand to get the bartender's attention. "Are you in the dog house?"

I snorted. "She did send me home without her but I think that has more to do with her mourning than Felicia."

"Well if she hasn't kicked you yet, after just having lost her grandmother, I think you're safe."

"Thanks…"

"Just do the right thing and stay away from the crazy broad."

"That's the plan…" I nodded in thanks as another beer was placed in front of me. "I just hope Felicia knows to stay away."

"Boy if she doesn't… Sookie's gonna kick her ass!" Chow said with a glint in his eyes, he looked as though he was praying that did happen and that he got to watch it.

I searched my wallet, suddenly suspecting I'd forgotten to bring cash, a few business cards spilled onto the table. I noticed I'd remembered to bring my credit card and relaxed. Chow reached out to one of the business' cards that had dropped and looked at it.

"Dr. Ludwig. Is she hot?"

I laughed into my beer. "She's a bit old for you, plus you're a committed man now. That was Adele's physician. That reminds me," I grabbed the card from him. "She asked me to give her a call. Thanks."

"Making calls to another woman? Haven't you learned anything?" Chow teased me.

"Old lady," I repeated irritably.

"Old ladies can love too, Eric!" Chow said with mock seriousness.

"You're a prick," I told him.

"Hey… if you thought a little bit more like me you'd never get in trouble with other women. You're too unassuming about their intentions."

I stared at him, but there was an odd logic to his thinking so I just shook my head and went back to my beer. I stopped at the second and started drinking soda after that – I still had to drive home after this and no way was I gonna drunk drive with my son in the car. Chow however, was within walking distance of his apartment, so he indulged a bit more. It was very revealing – he confessed to being in love with Crystal, and wanting babies with her. It was weird as hell – but it totally beats staying home sulking without Sookie for another night.

Even with just two beers I still woke up with a slight headache. Perhaps old age was making me a light weight. I showered and actually drank coffee which was totally unlike me, but I felt like I needed it. I changed Luke and gave him his bottle. We were in the kitchen when I heard the door opening and closing. Zoe was here.

"Oh, hi boys!" she said cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen, moving to stow her purse into a cupboard.

"Morning, Zoe," I greeted while Lukas started making a racket on his high chair, to get her attention.

"Where's Sookie?" Zoe asked as she walked over to settle him down.

"She's still in Bon Temps," I sighed sadly. "She still has things to go over with her brother."

"Ah…" Zoe watched me sympathetically. "She must be so sad…"

"Yep… yep she is." I gestured my head towards the coffee pot behind me. "There's coffee if you want it."

Zoe's eyes widened. "You made coffee? Are you all right, Mr. Northman?"

I snorted but didn't say anything. Zoe actually walked over to get herself a cup and then she slid onto the stool across from me, next to Lukas' high chair, and she ruffled his hair playfully before cupping her mug between her hands and staring into her coffee thoughtfully.

"So uhm… I actually need to talk to you about something…" she started timidly, tugging at the table cloth. "I was actually counting on Sookie being here too but…" she looked up at me, her eyes wide. "Well here it goes…" she smiled and blushed, looking away momentarily. Well at least it seemed like there would be no crying this time. I couldn't do crying anymore! "Zeke has asked me to marry me and I've said yes!" she announced happily.

"Oh!" Thank God, no tears. "Congratulations!" I grinned at her. "See I told you, you guys would figure it out!"

Zoe grinned back and nodded happily. But then she stared down between us, looking uncomfortable. "So… that means I'm moving to New Orleans with him…" she looked up at me carefully. "I'll have to let you guys go…" she said regretfully.

Oh shit. We like Zoe. Lukas likes Zoe.

"Ah…"

"Yeah…" she looked over to Lukas who was watching us with mild interest. "I'm going to miss this little guy so much!" she said tugging at his little hand. Lukas made a few attempts at speaking in response which just made us laugh.

"Oh wow I…" I put my mug on the island and sat back. "I don't know what to say. I mean I understand it… but it's gonna suck to see you go."

"I have a list of names you guys could look into!" She said promptly reaching into her jeans' pocket. "These are all really good, professional women that would be great baby sitters for you." She slid the piece of paper across for me. "I'm really sorry, Mr. N. I'm gonna miss you guys."

"When do you have to go?" I asked, folding the piece of paper to look at it later.

"I would be gone by January…" she sighed.

"OK…" I nodded thoughtfully. That gave us 4 months. "Well… I know Sookie's going to be sad too but… I'm happy for you and I'm sure she will be too. We're gonna love having you around while we still can."

"Thank you…" Zoe smiled and in an unprecedented bout of forwardness, she reached over the table and patted my hand. I put my other hand over hers briefly and we pulled away. "Can I say something?" she asked with a grin as she sniffed her mug of coffee.

"Sure."

"You make awful coffee… now I see why you don't drink it."

I laughed and nodded taking a large gulp of mine. "Tastes like I feel."

"That doesn't sound too good," she snorted. "Anything you wanna talk about?"

I shook my head. I had done all my talking. "No. I better get ready for work."

"When is Sookie coming home?" Zoe asked as she watched me.

"I don't know actually. Soon, I hope. I'll call her and see how she's doing…" I said pawing my pockets for my cell phone.

I spoke to her on my way to the garage and she promised me to be home no later than Friday night. That meant just one more night without her. At the hospital things were hectic as usual, which helped pass the time quickly. On my break, I remembered Dr. Ludwig's request and I stole into the back room at the Clinic to give her a call.

She had some news regarding the opening of the Bon Temps Hospital and an unexpected job offer. She said she knew I probably had a prestigious position at Brigant but that she was also aware of my work as a volunteer and that, if there was one thing they needed was people willing to work for less, at least for now – and that I didn't even need to be there full time. She needed someone leading trauma, and with my background working overseas with limited equipment, I was her best option. I said I would think about it. To be honest, it wasn't something I thought about seriously. I had my hands currently full at Brigant and I had a book to finish.

Going to bed without Sookie one more night shouldn't have been so difficult. But I could barely sleep. The thought of her alone in that isolated house, thinking about Adele gone with all of her stuff lying about was just sad. I knew I hadn't made things better by laying all of the shit that had been going on with Felicia. I knew she had been hurt, even if she had been understanding and once again forgiving. I never wanted Felicia, or anyone else to come between us for that matter. I knew after giving birth to Lukas she had flipped some switch and gotten more jealous than she had been in the past. Hormones, her body changing, the fear I wasn't attracted to her anymore… It was silly, but I knew it was there and I should have been more considerate. Her whining about the gym should have been a bigger sign too. Sookie was right, I should never give her reason to question me. I had given her too much, because I didn't really think about it being possible to want anyone else. But I couldn't expect her to know that.

I certainly would flip out if Sookie as much as looked at another guy for too long. Fortunately I was too distracted to notice if that happened or not. But I still seethed thinking about those two weeks Alcide Herveaux lived in my house – while Sookie promised me nothing physical actually happened I knew the intent had been there for a bit and it hurt. So I knew it would be no cakewalk to have to think about a woman, any woman, flaunting her stuff around me trying to get my attention, even if I was too blind to see it.

All those years, exercising trust with living away for months at a time made me a bit clueless – because when I didn't want to deal with things I just didn't. That had to change. It had to start by weeding out the problems. That meant Felicia and I would have zero contact – and I meant it this time. As much as I felt guilty about maybe having to say no to Jessie more often, I had my priorities, and she was my sister, not my child.

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts, which I was grateful for. Those thoughts were not conducive to sleep. It was Sookie.

"Hey, what are you doing awake?" I answered as I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes.

"_Jason and I were just talking and we didn't see the time go by."_

"Jason still there?" I was surprised.

"_Yeah… but he's driving home first thing in the morning. Poor Amy all alone and pregnant."_

"Yeah, she has family in New Orleans though, doesn't she?"

"_She does, or Jason wouldn't be here. I'm surprised you're awake – don't you have to get up early in the morning, Mister?"_

"I do…" I sighed. "I just couldn't sleep. I miss you."

"_I miss you too."_

That was fucking comforting to hear – I was a bit worried when she all but shoved me into my car two days ago.

"Did you guys work everything out already?" I asked.

"_Most of it, yeah. We're locking up tomorrow and coming home. How's Lukas?"_

"Sleeping like a… baby."

"_How odd…"_

"I know."

She laughed. _"I called so you can talk to me till I sleep."_

"Do you mean to say I make you sleepy?" I cocked an eyebrow.

More laughter – God I loved that sound. She wasn't angry at me anymore.

"_Right now you don't because you're just being silly…"_

"I could recite all the procedures I did today – would those put you to sleep?"

"_Most definitely."_ There was some shuffling and sighing on the other end. _"OK… go… head on the pillow, I'm ready."_

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not actually gonna do it."

"_Pfft. Fine."_

"It was all very gory anyway."

"_Eek, I hate gore."_

We talked nonsense for a bit longer until we were both yawning more than talking, so we said good night and hung up.

Getting through Friday was a whole different issue. Everything seemed to be going wrong at Brigant – two assistant nurses got laid off and Crystal was in a terrible mood, apparently because I had _let Chow drink too much_, according to her. I told her I wasn't his chaperone and I think that put me in her black book for the time being. Or at least until 4, when she stopped by my little room to pilfer my tea and commiserate about what an awful day it had been. After that I drove to _Royalty_ to talk to Bill about my latest draft. He was very content with it, and he made some final suggestions and asked me if I could get Russell Edgington to preface it. I'd have to figure out where he was in the world right now first but I said I guessed I could.

I went home to relieve Zoe and hoped Sookie would be there by then, but apparently she had called to say she was running late. So I bathed Lukas, changed him, fed him and we sat down in the living room to watch TV. Lukas was in a good mood despite his mom's absence, and we played together for a long time. I loved to make the little guy giggle and he was very prone to laugh at anything.

I called Sookie a couple of times, she was on the road, and promised to be home soon. I put Luke in his crib since he was already dozing off and changed for bed. I heard the door as I was pulling the covers and I went to the living room to see Sookie dragging in her luggage, looking tired.

"Hey!" she smiled at me. "Sorry it took me so long. I just really wanted to find a good gardener and I had to drive to Monroe to find one, then I had a flat tire and…"

I interrupted her with my lips, pulling her to me after two long strides. She was surprised initially but she soon relaxed, wrapping her arms loosely around my waist and responding to the kiss lazily.

"Oh… thanks… I guess needed that…" she said, staring at my lips with droopy eyelids. "Can you… can you do it again?" she asked as she moved her hands to cup my face.

I did, gladly. I kissed her harder, pulling her closer, one hand fisting into her hair and the other curling into her skin beneath the hem of her top. Sookie's warm tongue brushed against mine languidly, trying to slow me down.

"Easy, tiger!" she gasped and giggled, trying to pull away – my lips followed her, my teeth tugged at her bottom lip. "Lukas?" she asked, her hands moving up my chest.

"Sleeping," I breathed against her lips as I captured her mouth once again, my hands tried to pull her top over her head. "You. Naked. Now."

"Ok…" Sookie gasped lifting her arms for me. "Are you OK?"

"I will be in a bit…" I said, going for the button of her jeans.

Sookie giggled as I made her lean against the back of the couch so I could yank her jeans down her legs. I pulled her sneakers and socks along with it.

"Are you sure you're OK?" she asked when I kissed her again, my hands roaming up and down her exposed flesh – I wanted to feel her skin.

I didn't know how to tell her I'd been terrified to lose her. That I had been afraid this latest mess would be the last straw for her. That I was grateful she still wanted me in spite of everything I put her through. But as she cupped my face between her hands again, forcing me to still and captured my eyes with hers, something told me she knew how I felt.

"Hey…" she said soothingly, running her thumbs over my bottom lip. "I'm not going anywhere."

I closed my eyes and tugged at her shoulders, pulling her into me, burying my face into her hair.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask her in a mere whisper.

She hesitated for a moment, as she played with my hair and soothed a hand down my back. "There's just way more qualities to you, Eric…" she said. "They outweigh the bad any day of the week."

I guess I should count myself lucky she was able to see them. I pulled away and kissed her again, more gently this time. I still wanted her naked though, so I sought out the clasp of her bra, tossing it on the floor next. My hands went straight for the kill, cupping and kneading her warm mounds of flesh. Sookie pulled my hands away playfully and reached for the hem of my flannel shirt.

"Quid pro quo, mister!" she whispered.

I grinned and lifted my arms for her – she tossed my shirt behind her with a flourish to her wrist. It sent me back in time, eleven years ago. The sweet playful girl that turned out to be the love of my life was smiling back at me. I swooped down to kiss her and lift her onto the back of the couch at the same time, she wrapped her legs around me and kissed me back fervently.

"I love you, Sookie…" I told her passionately, my thumbs hooking through the waistband of her underwear.

"Oh yeah?" Sookie breathed as she lifted herself to help me. "I love you more!" she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

**xxxxxx**

**A/N2:** You may have noticed I've been updating this one more frequently. The reason is I feel we're _nearly_ there, and I want to finish this before Christmas – not saying I'll be able to. But I'm gonna try. I know most people will be travelling during the holidays so it would be pointless to update around that time, which is why I set up this goal. So fingers crossed we make it there before Santa comes to town!


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N:** Addressing a guest review: Sookie did _not_ kiss Alcide. They almost did, both stopped and felt bad about it. But there was no kiss. Maybe you're confused because their first actual date is described in the same chapter – but unless I was drunk when I wrote it and forgot, she did _not_ kiss him at any time during those two weeks.

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

The first thing I noticed when I woke up to my phone ringing was that I had somehow ended up on Eric's side of the bed. What the hell? We were still naked and tangled in our sheets. Eric wasn't moving, so I had to first disentangle myself from the sheets and then climb over him to reach my phone.

"Yellow?" I said quickly, forgetting to check who was calling.

"_Sook? Did I wake you up?"_

"Tara?" I pulled my hair away from my face. "Hi! Yeah you did but now it's fine! What time it is?"

"_It's 9am. Lucky you your baby doesn't need feeding I suppose!"_ Tara snorted. _"Gracie woke up me at 4 and then at 7. I love her."_

I gasped. "_Nine_? Jesus I need to feed Luke…" I started trying to crawl back over Eric while still hanging to the phone.

"I fed him, he's fine…" Eric mumbled sleepily from beneath me.

"Oh!" I looked down at him, he still had his eyes closed but was stirring. "Phew! Eric fed him!" I told Tara. "What's up?"

"_I just figured you would be back by now and wanted to check in with you if I can drop by later today?"_

"Sure, I would love that. We're running a little late apparently…" I snorted. "So give me just about an hour."

"_I'll give you two, I'm sure you guys need to catch up."_

"Then come for lunch."

"_How about I bring you guys lunch? I'm feeling generous."_

"Ooh! Won't pass that up!" I laughed. "Fine, bring food – and Gracie. I miss her."

"_Will do. Later, Sook."_

"Later, Tara." I shut down my phone and looked down at my sleepy husband. I was nearly straddling him so I got a wicked idea. I bent down to kiss him and ground a little into him over the sheets. "Baby wake up…."

Eric's response was to clasp both hands on my ass and grind back into me with his eyes closed.

"What are you doing on my side of the bed?" I asked as I continued to tease the beast.

"I just landed here…" he mumbled back. "You keep doing that, you'll be in trouble…" he said, his voice a bit huskier as his hands settled on my hips.

"Maybe I want trouble…" I whispered, bending down to kiss a trail across his chest.

"Everything my lady wants…" Eric groaned before he rolled me onto my back, his blue eyes finally open and as hungry as I felt.

"I like the sound of that!" I grinned as I caged him between my knees. "You know what your lady wants…" I whispered, reaching to trace his lips with my fingers.

In one swift motion Eric was inside me and we both moaned. I arched off the bed, closing my eyes. We didn't have much time – so it was straight to business. We'd learned to make the best of Luke's little naps here and there. Going two weeks without a single quickie was just wrong – and after the drama with that woman and Gran dying, I was just more than a little clingy. I wanted more than a quickie, I needed him to make love to me again, like he did last night. That would have to come later.

"Oh fuck!" I gasped when Eric hit a little deeper and rougher. "Faster…"

Eric swallowed my lips, his hand wrapping around my throat as I threw my head back. He speeded up his thrusts, grinding against my clit and soon I had stars exploding behind my eyes and my limbs started to feel like rubber.

"Mmm…" I moaned happily as I melted into the mattress.

Eric thrust three more times and let go with a grunt, before crushing me beneath him with no complaints from me – I loved the feel of every inch of him against me.

"Good morning…" He gasped against my neck.

I giggled happily, wrapping one heavy arm over his back. "Morning, Eric…" I caressed his back lovingly and smiled when he started to place sloppy, wet kisses against my neck. "We need to get up, baby."

"I know…" Eric said but continued to kiss me, moving over to my collarbone as he kneaded my breasts.

"Mmmm I mean it…" I said without meaning it at all.

"Me too…" Eric moaned before he took a nipple into his mouth.

I was going to insist we move one more time when I felt him stiffening between my legs again.

"Oh fuck it…" I pushed him on his back, surprising him as I straddled him. "It's been two weeks, so we get a double!" I told him like he'd been waiting for an explanation.

Eric grabbed around my hips and helped me ride home.

When we finally extricated ourselves from each other and took turns showering while the other checked on Luke, it was past 10. Fortunately Lukas didn't look as though he felt neglected, but once he saw me walking into the kitchen he started crying and being needy again. Eric gave me a knowing look and I grinned. I liked being the favorite parent for the moment. I was hungry for a horse by then but I wanted to save room for whatever Tara was bringing us later, so I contented myself with toast and coffee. Eric off handedly mentioned Zoe said his coffee sucked while reading the paper.

"When did you make coffee?" I laughed and took another bite of my toast. Lukas was on my lap, distracted by my necklace.

"Thursday," he shrugged. "I felt like torturing myself."

My smile fell when I understood the implications of that, and I looked down at my plate as I chewed slowly. It should comfort me he was still bothered by the whole thing – I was. But there was no point in fighting more about it. I'd told him what I needed from him and I trusted him to do it this time. If Felicia coming onto him didn't do the trick, I didn't think there was any hope of ever getting rid of her.

"Oh… by the way…" Eric spoke again. "Zoe's getting married and moving to New Orleans. We have her for four more months only."

I stared at him at a loss for a moment. "Really?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know it sucks but…" he shrugged. "What can we do?"

"Yeah…" I said, losing myself in my own little world.

I really liked Zoe. It took something out of you to be able to trust someone with your kid and it hadn't been easy for me but I did trust Zoe deeply. But, this news was actually almost like a sign for me. I wanted to stay home with Luke and the baby sitter quits? That had to be a sign, right?

"Sookie?"

I snapped out of my head and looked up at Eric. He's watching me uncertainly. I know I have that wide eyed look on my face I get when I space out and I realize I'm biting my lip so I let go and blinked repeatedly.

"Sorry…" I put the rest of my toast down and fixed Lukas' position on my lap. "I … I don't know what to say um… when did she say that?"

"Thursday." Eric looked worried. "We _will_ find someone else. She gave me a list…"

I was shaking my head. "I don't want anyone else."

"Sookie…" Eric put the paper away.

"No!" I said hurriedly. "Don't get me wrong! I'm not being a baby about this!" I explained. "I'm happy for her! But… I don't want anyone else because…"

Eric arched his eyebrows, urging me to go on.

"I've been thinking…" I looked at Lukas who was now trying to get off my lap, probably planning to crawl all over the house like he likes to. "I think I want to be a stay-home-mom for a while." I looked back at Eric, afraid of his reaction. I knew he'd been supportive of that idea in the past, but what if he'd changed his mind?

"Oh!" Eric just looked surprised. "When did that happen?"

I sighed. "I think it's been coming a while. I never felt right going back to work with a baby home. Then the conference made me really feel like I'm just not in the _career moment_ right now." I shrugged. "Why keep fighting it? I want to take care of him. I'll worry about work later… if you're on board with this, of course." I looked at him expectantly.

Eric looked relieved. "I… think… I'm completely on board with this." He smiled. "He's too little to be learning everything from a stranger."

I nodded with a smile, relieved as well. "Not that Zoe isn't…" I shook my head.

"No!" Eric agreed quickly. "She is great but…"

"We're the parents," I said.

"We're the parents," he agreed. "So uhm… wow."

"Yeah!" I laughed.

"When are you going to tell Claudine?" he asked.

"I kind of already did," I confessed. "At the funeral. She thinks it was a spur of the moment thing and Gran's death had something to do with it. But it doesn't. I'll have to talk to her next week."

Eric nodded and reached back for his paper. I took a deep breath.

"There's something else I wanted to run by you too."

Eric looked at me curiously and I was suddenly nervous. I knew what I was going to propose was not a simple change.

"I want to move into Gran's house. I think it would be a great place to raise Luke… and any other children we might have…" I added hopefully. I wasn't that old that a second child was out of question. "I know it's a lot to ask of you. You'd be driving a lot every day to get to work and we would be away from… well… everything. Bon Temps is going to have a hospital so if any of us have an emergency we can run there and we both drive and we each have a car…" Eric was watching me and as I expected he was a bit shocked. "I know what you're thinking!" I amended. "That I miss Gran and this is some passing thing where I want to move there so I'll feel close to her. But... even if it is, you can't deny there's a certain appeal to it!"

Eric was quiet for a moment and I sat there fidgeting – even Luke went quiet, and his eyes went from me to Eric as if he was trying to gauge any tension. Finally Eric blinked, his eyes dropping to the table.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel close to her if that's the case," he chose to say first. "As to the other aspects of it… you're right, it is a great place to raise children. Bon Temps has been evolving and there are more facilities than there used to be when you first moved out. The Hospital is actually opening next year according to Dr. Ludwig…" Oh… I didn't know that. "I suppose the schools aren't bad."

"No, they're really not!" I said quickly. "I did OK at mine and I know there are some new ones…" I bit my lip. "I'm sorry I know I'm really over excited about this… You can tell me what you think…"

"Well… I don't know Sookie. I honestly never thought about moving to a smaller town. It feels isolated, I don't know if I like that…" his eyes roamed around the table. "But it's funny that you should bring this up. Dr. Ludwig offered me a position in their new hospital…" he smiled a little.

My heart started hammering against my ribcage. I knew I shouldn't expect him to agree – I knew most people would think me crazy for wanting to do this.

"What… what do you think about it?" I asked.

Eric looked at me carefully. "I don't know. I would get paid less than I do at Brigant's… at least initially. That's a bit worrying especially with you quitting. Wasting 4 hours on the road daily between here and Bon Temps is not _too_ bad if I have to…"

"So you think it's a bad idea…" I sagged.

"I think we need to think about it," he corrected me. "If you really want this then I'll find a way but… give me some time to figure out how."

"I only want you to do it if you think it's a good idea too!" I said.

Eric moved from his stool, walked over to mine and kissed me soothingly. "I _do_. I told you once I would do anything you needed me to do for you to be happy. I meant it."

"Well I need you to be happy too…" I said tugging at his belt buckle.

He grinned. "I am," he leaned over and kissed my forehead. "What you want to do today?"

I wrapped an arm around his middle and Lukas giggled – he loved being sandwiched between us. "Spend time with my boys… Oh… and eat Tara's food!"

Tara came later with food – she'd cooked us some yummy spaghetti. She also told us she had gotten the job at _Royalty_ and we congratulated her and celebrated with cheap cider. Lafayette and Alejandro joined us later in the afternoon and we all hung out, playing with the kids, playing cards or just talking. It was a good day and I tried not to think about whether or not we were going to figure out a way to move and still have a budget.

On Monday I told Claudine about my plans and she was a bit shocked. She was definitely one of those people who thought I was crazy, but I didn't care. I agreed to stay until the end of the year, because, really, we couldn't just up and move now anyway – there was still planning to do, and math. Besides we still had Zoe until December.

I had been home two weeks and we had neither talked about nor heard from Felicia. Not even Jessica although that probably had to do with Eric changing his number. I hoped she wasn't hurt about it. I know she clung to Eric because of her mother's influence and I hoped the woman now would repair the damage before it was too late. Or that Axel would pressure her to do it anyway. To use your child to get close to someone like that, it was sick, and it made me hate the woman even more.

I didn't ask Eric if he felt guilty about not being around for Jessica because I knew he probably did. That was something he had to deal with himself. He was her brother, not her father – he had to make peace with that. Damn, I think, Axel had to make peace with that too. That man had a lot of changing to do too. I heard from Pam that he has been spending more time with Jessica so that was a start.

So I wasn't even worried about that woman, and perhaps I was being silly for it. But when I was at work, just going over some e-mails my phone rang. I smiled, it was Crystal.

"Hey girl, what's up?"

"_Hey Sook, are you busy?" _she sounded as though she was making a clandestine call.

"Not really…" I looked around me, I was alone. "What's up are you at work?"

"_Yeah… listen. I thought you should know… that woman has been around the hospital asking for Eric!"_

"That woman?" I asked even though I already knew who it was going to be.

"_Yeah! Her! Felicia! Karina at the front desk told me she tried to get through to him but he was busy in trauma anyway! I thought you'd like to know!"_

"She's unbelievable!" I gasped. "Have you told Eric?"

"_Havent't seen him yet."_

"Hum… well thanks for letting me know, Crystal."

"_You're not going to kill her, are you?"_ Crystal asked with genuine concern.

I laughed. "Jesus woman! Am I that bad?"

Crystal laughed apologetically. _"I can only imagine how much you hate her! I mean, I hate her and I don't even have a reason!"_

"Aaw, that's because you're a really good friend to him, Crys. I really appreciate it."

"_Well, I'm just looking out for you guys. I think Chow's right… that broad must be crazy!"_

Broad – yes Crystal was Chow's girl alright.

"I'll take care of her, don't you worry."

"_Well now I'm really scared!"_

"I promise you no blood will be spilled."

"_What, not even a little?"_ Crystal sounded disappointed.

"Crystal Norris, Chow has been a terrible influence on you."

She snorted. _"Don't I know. Shit, I gotta go… they're paging me. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"_

"I'll try!"

**xxxxxxx**

**A/N2:** Thanks for all the comments by the way. I think Sookie deserves a chance to say a few choice words to that woman – but there will be no hair pulling, I promise.


	42. Chapter 42

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV **

I sat outside in my car, across the street from Felicia's lingerie shop, giving myself a mental pep talk. I knew I was frowning hard, and I was clenching my jaw in a way that hurt. Suddenly I felt a gentle touch to my arm and I gasped, my jaw immediately snapping unpleasantly as I looked at Lafayette, who watched me carefully.

"You OK there, Sook? I can see smoke coming out of your ears but yelling at the bitch with your mind ain't gonna get no message across."

I stared at Lafayette for a moment before I actually laughed, causing him to smile with relief.

"I'm fine…" I assured him, manually relaxing my posture since it wasn't happening on its own. I rolled my neck and rubbed my temples. "Thank you for coming with me." I reached over and took his hand.

"Anything for my girl," Lafayette winked and squeezed my hand back. "And if you need me to, I'll go in there and hold the bitches' claws back while you beat the shit out of her!"

I hissed and shuddered with delight. "Don't tempt me!"

Lafayette winked at me. "Just saying."

"Well… here I go, I guess…" I said unlocking my car door and pushing it open.

"Go get her, momma! Show her who's boss!"

I just laughed and shook my head as I closed the door again and stared up at the building. Amazing what daddy's money could do. Felicia had had everything handed to her, hadn't she? I could suddenly understand why she thought it was OK to just walk up to another woman's man and tell them she loved them. _Well not my man, lady!_

I put some resolve into my legs and got them to move – I strode confidently inside the fancy shmancy, air conditioned shop and ignored all the bright colored underwear glaring back at me. I looked around, looking for her – but all I saw was a curious looking brunette walking down to me. She looked me from head to toe as she was already taking up my measures or something.

"Can I help you?" she cocked her head and hip to the side with a smile. "I'm Margaret."

"Hi Margaret!" I smiled sweetly at her. "I'm looking for Felicia Foster, actually. Is she around?"

I saw a blond head pop out from behind a rack. Her eyes widened momentarily as she recognized me. It was Felicia all right – my smile melted from my face and I steeled myself as she walked around to come to me.

"I'm sorry but Felicia doesn't see to customers…" Margaret started to say.

"It's fine, Margaret…" Felicia said as she came to stand in front of me.

She looked elegant as she usually looked – it stung me a bit how pretty she was. But I swallowed and reminded myself Eric didn't want her – no matter how pretty she was. She stared back at me with a mixture of defiance and wariness that was kind of disarming. This was no _femme fatale_ – however Felicia got to her men, it wasn't by flashing a garter in their faces or letting them see the outline of her wonder bra.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" I asked her, without saying hello.

Margaret looked from one to the other, she looked _very_ curious and it was annoying. I frowned as I looked at her. It seemed to snap Felicia out of whatever she was thinking and she looked at her employee as well.

"Go do something else, Margaret!" she snapped irritably.

Margaret was shameless, she shrugged and walked away. Felicia batted her eyes to the floor and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before she looked back up at me – this time she looked more approachable.

"Come this way," she said in a very quiet voice as she turned around.

I followed her to the back, past piles of boxes labeled Maine and into a narrow corridor that wound up into a tiny room that Felicia had clearly turned into an office. She waited for me to come inside and closed the door before she walked past me and turned to face me, immediately folding her arms across her chest, defensively. She didn't say anything. She knew _I_ was the one who was going to be doing the talking today.

"You went after Eric at the hospital today," I said.

Felicia looked surprised and I could see her swallow. "How do you know that?"

"One of the nurses told me, she's a friend," I shrugged. "What did you want with him?"

Felicia stared at me at a loss for a moment – her eyes flitted about the tiny room aimlessly.

"Felicia?" I prodded her. "If there's anything you need from _my_ husband… certainly I, his _wife, _can be in the know right?" I arched my eyebrows. "Something to do Jessica? Do you need anything?" she just stared back at me speechlessly. I sighed impatiently. "What? You can be honest with Eric about your intentions but not me? Did you seriously think he was not going to tell me about it?"

Felicia let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself tighter.

"What do you want, Sookie?" she asked rolling her eyes up at me.

"I want you to leave my family alone," I said simply. "For _good_. For your _daughter_, have _some_ decency in you. If you carry this on it is going to be impossible for there to be _any_ kind of relationship between her and her brother and Jessica loves him already so you know that will hurt! I'm asking you to be a mother rather than a whore and _stop_ this!"

Felicia bristled immediately, her arms dropping at her sides and her hands fisting. "What did you call me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you _dare_ act _insulted_ around _me_!" I growled. "I let you come into my house, I let you visit with me and my son and in return you go behind my back and start professing love to my husband and trying to seduce him in my absence!" my voice had gotten a bit louder but I didn't care. "He told you he doesn't want anything with you, he told you to go away and the next day I see your car across the street from my apartment! Now you go looking for him at his _job_?"

Felicia had been closing her eyes and flexing her fists and clenching her jaw the whole time – now she looked defiantly at me and replied. "Why is it wrong for a woman to go after what she wants?"

"So you don't care who you're hurting?" I demanded. "Not even your _daughter_?"

This seemed to have struck a chord – she looked away and she looked ashamed for the first time.

"Jessica has a father – he's not Eric. So stop trying to push those responsibilities to him so you can get to him. It's not going to happen! Stop it before you've done too much damage to your kid. I'm sorry Axel doesn't want you anymore either but _don't_ treat my husband as your emergency kit!" my head was starting to pound. "If you keep messing with my family I'll put a restraining order on you!" her eyes widened in shock. "_Don't_ try to contact him again. Axel can make sure Jessica sees her siblings when it's suitable to them." I took a deep breath and tugged at my shirt. "Have some dignity and bow out!"

Felicia's nostrils flared and she seemed to grow a bit taller. "Is that all?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I sure do hope so."

"Then you can leave the way you came," she said tightly.

I snorted. I wasn't expecting her to actually agree with me or apologize profusely – so I wasn't too bent out of shape by her tone. But I'd laid down the law, and she had been warned. I turned back and left without another word. Felicia never moved and never said anything else.

As I walked back onto the shop Margaret appeared out of nowhere but I just shook my head when she opened her mouth to speak and she sagged as I walked past her, straight to the door.

Once outside on the sidewalk I took another deep breath and closed my eyes, pressing a hand to my stomach. It was incredible what all the bottled up anger did to one's body.

"You OK, bitch?"

I opened my eyes. Lafayette had left the car and was standing in front of me. I smiled and nodded as I tried to even my breath.

"You told her how it is?" he asked.

"I sure did!"

"You look like you could use a drink!" he looked me up and down. "Come on momma, I'll drive!"

We sat in a bar at a hotel I didn't know – but it was closer to the hospital than it was home and I thought it was odd Lafayette would take me there, but I made no comment. I was just glad for the drinks. He was kind enough to rub my shoulders a little and I downed two gin and tonics like I knew what I was even doing. We just sat there while I let out steam. Soon Lafayette got me to forget about the woman, a little, and had me laughing with his stories. A couple more drinks later I was nearly gliding, but at times I would still frown hard as I remembered everything.

"Hey now…" Lafayette said poking one of my temples. "You're too young to get all wrinkly."

I snorted. "No I'm not… I'm fifty what, seven?"

"You're a thirty-four year old hot momma who has nothing to fear from that bitch."

I smiled gratefully at him. "I know I don't."

"Do ya really?" Lafayette narrowed his eyes at me.

"I think now I do!" I said confidently. "Not because I…" I snorted, suddenly embarrassed. "Stormed into her work place and yelled at her about it… though that felt good!" I added with a grin that made Lafayette smile proudly. "But because Eric's taken the right attitude about it."

"Hallelujah!" Lafayette threw his hands in the air dramatically. "Speaking of the devil…" Lafayette nudged me lightly. "Guess who's just walked in?"

I looked up at that, and saw Eric standing by the entrance, looking disheveled and tired, he'd clearly just got off work and seemed to be looking for someone. His eyes landed on me and he looked relieved as he started walking.

"What…?" I looked at Lafayette suspiciously. "Did you tell him we were gonna be here?"

Lafayette slid off the stool as Eric approached and he eyed him up and down appreciatively. "Worn out doctor… the look suits you. Still hot!"

Eric smiled tiredly at him. "Hello, Lafayette."

Lafayette winked at him and looked at me before swiping my car keys from the bar counter, in front of me.

"Hey!" I laughed.

"I'm taking your car for a ride!" he gestured at Eric. "Since yours has arrived!"

"Oh!" I looked between them. "You set us up!"

Lafayette winked at me. "You're welcome." He touched Eric's arm. "Bring her home no later than midnight cowboy, or I'm bringing my shotgun!"

Eric just rolled his eyes at him and Lafayette strutted away, quite literally, making me smile as I followed the sway of his hips. He could strut like nobody's business.

Eric took the seat Lafayette had vacated, blocking my view and I blinked, smiling tiredly at him. He leaned forward resting his folded arms on the counter before he planted a kiss on my shoulder.

"Are you OK?" he asked me.

"What did Lafayette tell you?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Everything," he said. "He called me while you were talking to her and told me he'd be bringing you here later." He moved to run a hand up and down my back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I smiled and leaned forward instead, capturing his lips with mine – he sighed into my mouth, his hand going into my hair and around the back of my head to pull me closer.

"You've been drinking…" he said.

"Good thing you're driving," I smiled.

Eric studied my face with a frown. "You still haven't answered me."

"I don't want to talk about it." I shook my head and he pulled away with a sigh, still leaning on his arms over the bar counter. I reached forward and stroked his hair. "It was a woman to woman talk. I said what I wanted – I'm fine." I hesitated. "Did Crystal tell you Felicia went looking for you?"

"Yeah she did," Eric frowned. "She told me she called you. I had been trying to call you earlier. Then Lafayette called me."

"You're upset I went to talk to her?" I asked.

"No," he leaned into my hand enjoying what I was doing. "You had every right to step in."

"I did."

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked.

I looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Zoe's dropping Luke with Tara and she'll watch him for us until later," he grabbed my hand as he sat up. "Do you want to get a room?"

My heart skipped a beat and liquid heat pooled somewhere south of my brain and I nodded slowly. We hadn't done the hotel room thing since our anniversary and I was suddenly very grateful for Lafayette's mind always being in the gutter – this was probably his idea. What better way to unwind than to let your freak on in the bedroom?

We walked into the room hand in hand and as soon as the door was locked we undressed each other while kissing and groping like we hadn't done this in years. Our clothes soon lay forgotten on the bedroom floor and we toppled down onto the bed together, Eric keeping most of his weight off me so he wouldn't crush me. I pulled him down for a kiss and urged him to press fully against me. I needed to feel him – to be reminded he was mine and only mine. Eric seemed to know what I needed. I didn't need gentle right now. I needed passion and I needed it rough.

My fingernails dug into his flesh and my blunt teeth scraped over his shoulder and he grunted and groaned, never missing a beat as he pounded relentlessly into me. I wanted to keep him inside me and like a mad woman I clamped my arms and legs around him as I moved, my sex doing the same to his length. He felt impossibly huge and hard inside me and I ground into him for all the friction I could get. I knew I had tears running down the corners of my eyes but I didn't care – I needed more of him than I could take and I wasn't above begging for it. My body was protesting and straining and getting heavier, until I finally let all go with a scream, my fingers digging into Eric's now damp hair - he bit into my breast to muffle his own scream.

_Mine_. I thought to myself as I melted against the mattress. My limbs going deliciously limp – a pleasurable haziness taking over my head. We hadn't even turned on the light and the sun was definitely gone now so I found myself staring lazily at a dark ceiling.

I kept stroking his hair, my other hand on his back, my legs were suddenly tingly and numb and flat against the mattress. Eric nuzzled and nibbled the skin below the swell of my breast and purred low in his chest, like a happy cat.

"Eric?" I called him after a while.

Eric shifted, removing his lips from my damp skin and looking up at me lazily. I flipped his hair away from his eyes and stared into them with a smile. "Thank you, that was amazing."

Eric didn't say anything to that, but he bent down to press more wet kisses across my stomach, while one hand reached down to stroke up and down my thigh.

"Shower?" I suggested. I was feeling really icky now.

Eric nodded, pressing a final kiss to my navel before he pushed himself up onto his arms. I followed him into the shower and watched as he turned on the water. I frowned, wondering why he was so quiet. I stepped behind him, running my hands up his back.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

Eric turned around and frowned down at me while my hands went around him. He cupped my face between his hands and bent down to kiss me briefly.

"Nothing's wrong."

"You're so quiet…" I tilted my head.

He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I think my brain's a little scrambled."

I grinned. "Back at ya."

We started washing each other – Eric was really gentle, washing me with love and care, planting kisses here and there, making me feel loved and cherished. I was feeling so good and happy I decided he deserved a little worshipping himself – so after I was done washing him, I offered him my dirtiest look and pushed his back against the tile wall. I dropped to my knees and took him into my mouth.

"Fuck!" Eric hissed, his fingers treading into my hair. "Sookie…"

I smiled up at him and continued my work. He was very, very happy with me.

"Come here…" Eric switched on the bedside table lamp and pulled the covers for me.

I dropped my bathrobe and happily slid into the bed completely naked. Eric slipped down into the bed after me and he covered us as we turned towards each other – both of us still damp from our shower – we'd been too exhausted to dry ourselves properly.

"What time is it?" I asked as I snuggled closer to him.

"Just after eight." Eric reached to caress my face. "Do you want to go?"

"Not yet… I need to find my legs again," I laughed.

"They're right here…" Eric smiled, sliding one hand down to stroke my leg.

"Oh! What would I do without you?"

Eric kissed me softly, melting me just a little more. When he pulled away his look shifted slightly and I looked at him curiously.

"What's up?"

"I talked to Dr. Ludwig today," he told me, his finger now drawing circles on my shoulder.

"Oh?" I prodded.

"We can do it. Let's do it, let's move to Gran's house." He smiled at me.

I didn't dare getting excited yet. "Are you sure? Didn't you say the pay wouldn't be as good?"

"We negotiated a little," Eric grinned. "It's still not gonna be the same for now, but… we'll rent our apartment out with no trouble. You know how places in our area are coveted. We'll be fine and Ludwig said pay definitely gets better later."

I still hesitated. "But are you sure you can do this? Not living close to the rest of your family and your friends?"

"They won't be that far away. We'll just make them drive down and hang out with us. We have the space now."

I grinned and then I remembered something else. "What about your Free Clinic? You're so proud of that."

"It's going to be in good hands."

"And… the doctors without borders program?"

"That's off the table undeterminably," he said confidently. "I want to watch my son grow up."

I sighed. "OK… if you're really OK with everything…"

"I am," he promised me.

I grinned. "OK… let's do it then."

"Let's do it," Eric kissed me again.

We had a lot of prepping to do for the following months and we enjoyed doing it together. We had decided that we would refurbish the house. Not only because we had our own tastes, but also, seeing all of Gran's stuff was just going to be too painful. Helen offered to help us and I was glad to take it. We also had to child-proof the house. We got proper air conditioning and heating, there were still things to be fixed since it was such an old house. By the time we moved, in January, it was going to be better.

Claudine pouted and whined about me abandoning her but she was eventually supportive and told me WVN would always have a place for me if I wanted to come back and I was touched. I'm sure Steve Newlin had similar thoughts about Eric leaving Brigant – but he was also supportive.

By Thanksgiving pretty much all of our friends knew we were moving and they all agreed our tiny apartment deserved one last holiday celebrated in it. My kitchen felt crammed as usual, with Helen, Pam, Lafayette and Alejandro in there. Amy was too pregnant and uncomfortable to help so we parked her on the couch folding napkins. I noticed Tara hadn't arrived yet and Lafayette cryptically told me I should go down and fetch her. I looked at him awkwardly and reached for my phone – but it went to voicemail. So I shrugged and decided to do just that. I checked in to see where Luke was – he was on Crystal's lap while Chow teased him. Eric and Jim were talking in a corner and Jason was hovering around Amy.

I rode down the elevator and knocked on Tara's door and waited, when she opened she had the same cryptic smirk on her lips.

"Hi Sookie!"

"Tara! You're late. It's Thanksgiving, come on!" I urged her.

"Why don't you come inside for a moment?" Tara grasped my hand and tugged me along. "There's someone I want you to meet."

We walked into the apartment and my eyes immediately fell upon the man on the couch with Grace in his arms. He stood up when he saw me and I guessed he was as tall as Eric. I gaped as I stared at him and realized who he was. Dark skinned, with green eyes, Gracie's green eyes! Baby daddy! The one word that came to mind was: gorgeous. He was gorgeous! He was obviously very young too – I remembered Tara saying he was in college. He had a kind smile and perfect teeth, his head was shaved and he maintained a well kept three-day stubble.

"Sookie, this is James. James, my friend Sookie."

He stepped forward and offered me his hand for a firm shake – his smile was really something!

"It's great to meet you Sookie. Tara's told me so much about you."

I was momentarily distracted from his words as I took in his voice – it was silky smooth and panty melting if I was honest. I stared at Tara with my jaw open. "Oh _really_?"

Tara just grinned at me.

"Well… it's great to finally meet _you_ too, James!" I was a little overwhelmed but I recovered quickly. "So… are you two coming upstairs for Thanksgiving or what?"

Tara and James looked at each other and then at me and Tara nodded with a grin. "We'd love to."

"Good! There's tons of food!" I waved them along. "Come on!"

It was interesting to watch Tara introduce baby daddy to everyone. Of course, mercifully, no one called him that – but it was obvious to anyone with eyes he was Grace's dad. He fit right in and wasn't uncomfortable at all. Turned out he was graduating this year and moving permanently to Shreveport to be close to Grace. When he spoke of his plans, of his job at a law firm and his apartment, it was hard to miss the glint in Tara's eyes. I think she had been fooling me all along! She still liked him! I hoped she would give him a chance now – Tara deserved happiness, she didn't need to be alone. He could be young, but he clearly understood about responsibility and he seemed as in love with Grace as anyone.

"So…" I cornered Tara in the kitchen as soon as I could. "James huh?"

Tara laughed at me. "You should have seen your face!"

"Are you happy?" I asked her with a grin.

"Happy?" she looked at me funny.

"Yeah! He's moving into town, he wants to be a part of Grace's life… doesn't that make you happy?"

"Of course it does! He's always wanted to be a part of her life. I just wanted him to not lose focus on his studies. I did that and look where I ended up!" she rolled her eyes.

"I think you ended up just fine!" I nudged her. "So… is he here just as Gracie's dad or…"

"Oooor?" Tara asked me with a smirk.

"Ooor are you gonna hit that?"

"Sookie!" Tara laughed.

"What? I'm serious!"

Tara hesitated, shifting from one leg to the other, and I could see her leaning over to peer around the kitchen door. I followed her gaze and saw she was watching James with Grace in his arms while he talked to Chow and Crystal. He had his charming smile on – he looked briefly over at Tara, as though he could feel himself being watched. He smiled warmly at her and I could swear his cheeks flushed a little. Tara looked away with a tiny smile.

"I don't know, Sook…"

I rubbed her arm encouragingly. "There's nothing wrong with giving it a shot."

Tara shrugged. "We'll see…"

I grinned. "Come on… let's eat more turkey."

"Fuck this is a small apartment for the amount of friends we have…" I said as I slumped down the couch next to Eric with a glass of wine.

Everybody had left by then, and Lukas was sleeping in the nursery. Helen and Tara had tried to help me clean things up but I shooed them away before they could finish so there was still a lot of stuff to pick up.

"Aren't you gonna miss it though?" Eric asked as I handed him a glass of wine too. "It's been home for over ten years…" he said looking around reminiscently.

"I know…" I looked around as I took a sip of wine. "I _am_ going to miss it. This is more Sookie and Eric though… we need a home to feel like… Sookie and Eric and Luke!" I grinned at him.

Eric grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. "Soon, sweetheart."

I snuggled into his side, pulling my legs onto the couch. "I'm glad Christmas is going to be at your mom's though," I laughed.

"She's gonna love hosting it too…" Eric ran his hand around my hip. "When is your goodbye party at work?"

"Oh next week," I yawned. "Yours?"

"Before Christmas. Russell is coming." Eric twirled his glass around, watching the remaining wine sloshing around inside it.

"Did he like being invited to write your preface?"

"He was very happy. Bill was happy. All's good."

"Nice." I said sleepily, putting my wine glass on the center table.

"Let's go to bed. We can finish cleaning up tomorrow…" Eric said kissing my forehead.

I watched him move and pouted at him like the spoiled brat I was. He grinned and reached down to scoop me into his arms and carry me to the bedroom.

**xxxxxxx**

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. Thanks for the incredibly supportive feedback I've been getting from first time readers and lurkers as well! I made it this far because you're all there! If I can fit everything I want into the next chapter, then it will be the last one you guys! Prepare yourselves!


	43. Chapter 43

**xxxxxxx**

**EPOV **

Bill was personally filling up every champagne glass and handing them around. We were at the topmost floor of the Publishing House, where they held their especial events. Fortunately _this_ event was pretty small and personal, or I would be feeling weird as fuck. The book was out and we were celebrating. _Reaching Out_ had been the chosen title, and it was fine with me. This party was most for family and friends and people from Bill's company – a lot of which I felt like I already knew by now.

"Here you go Eric!" Bill smiled, handing me my glass. "Let's celebrate."

"You went all out, didn't you?" I asked, eyeing the champagne label.

Bill smirked and winked. "Only for friends."

I bet his every author got that line.

"Congratulations Eric, we're so proud of you!"

Claudine came out of nowhere and hugged me. I hugged her back and looked at Sookie with a surprised look and she giggled into her champagne glass.

"Thank you, Claudine."

"Helen's just here!" Sookie whispered grasping my hand and pulling me along.

I could see mother and Jim walking inside hand in hand. They spotted us and smiled, walking a little faster.

"Eric, sweetie!" mother pulled me into a fierce hug. "We're so happy for you!"

"Hey mom…" I mumbled as I let her kiss me. "Jim…" I said after clearing my throat and straightening up.

"Eric, congratulations," Jim patted me on the back. "I was hoping you could autograph this one for me," he winked and handed me a copy of my book.

"Oh…" I raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Oh go ahead and sign it!" mother pinched me and laughed.

I chuckled and reached into my pocket for a pen. To be honest, he hadn't been the first to ask for it. I get it. It's like a fancier Christmas card. But it was weird signing stuff for people who saw me regularly.

"Where's Lukas?" mom asked after she and Jim and had hugged Sookie.

"At home with the sitter…" Sookie said.

"Oh I wanted to give him a hug too!"

"Hey mom…" Pam showed up, going for mom while Miriam trailed after with a smile.

They'd arrived earlier and had been chatting off somewhere. They all greeted each other and soon Bill arrived with champagne glasses for mom and Jim. Sookie tugged me since there were more people arriving and I was forced to move.

"Hey sport!" it were Chow and Crystal and he proceeded to embarrass me by ruffling my hair in public.

"Chow, don't!" Crystal slapped his arm loudly.

I smoothed my hair back and just grinned at him. "Good to see you."

"Congratulations, Eric!" Crystal said and scooted closer for a hug.

"Thanks, Crys!"

"Yeah congratulations, man. I'm proud of you. Still wish there was more sex in it." Chow added.

"Maybe next time," I patted his arm.

"So hey, how are Amy and the baby doing?" Crystal asked as she tugged Sookie away into a corner.

I watched as they moved, talking in whispered tones. I felt bad we couldn't be there today, but Amy had gone into labor at dawn, and we couldn't just not show up for this. Fortunately it had gone well and Amy had given birth to a healthy little girl they'd named Michelle, after Sookie and Jason's mother. We were driving to New Orleans in the morning to see them.

"Did Steve get here yet?" Chow asked tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, he's somewhere back there," I said looking over my shoulder. I could see Steve and Sara talking to a couple of Bill's employees by the snack table.

"Oh I see him!" Chow nodded. "Is the big man coming?" he waggled his eyebrows.

"Niall?" I asked surprised. "That would be a little weird, wouldn't it?"

"Because he's banging your Publisher's ex-wife?" Chow laughed. "Oh hey Bill!" Chow said louder to alert me our subject had arrived.

"Chow!" Bill handed him a glass of champagne. "Good of you to come! Where's Crystal?" he asked holding the extra champagne glass in his hand.

"She's over there with Sook," Chow gestured towards them.

Bill walked away and I raised my eyebrows at Chow. "Yes, exactly because of that."

"I want to catch up with Steve, come on," Chow patted my arm and we turned around.

Christmas was coming in two weeks, then the New Year, and we would finally be moving to Bon Temps. It still felt like there was so much to do though we'd barely had time to sit since Thanksgiving. At least now with the book out of the way I had one less thing to worry about.

We'd found renters for our apartment already – so on top of moving we had to find a way to get rid of our current furniture – so there was _that_. We were taking Lukas' whole nursery of course, and our bedroom, but everything else was going to go. There were still a few repairs to take care of and the contractors had been calling me constantly talking about stuff I didn't really understand – Chow kept telling me to let him handle it so I wouldn't get _ripped off_ but it was a matter of pride. I'm a man dammit; I'm supposed to know these things. I'd given Jason a call or two with a question, but, Chow will never know.

The thing we would miss the most about our apartment, I think, was living so close to Lafayette, Alejandro and Tara. It was fun and useful to have them around. Our nearest neighbor in Bon Temps would be across the cemetery, at least 20 minutes away, and from what I heard he was a deranged old man who owned a bunch of cats. Didn't sound very helpful. That part of it still bothered me a little – the isolation that it would be living down there. Both of us having cars was a comfort though.

I saw Tara arriving along with Lafayette and Alejandro, and I excused myself to go and say hello to them. The three of them wanted signed copies and I indulged them, feeling once again weird as hell. My father came in soon after, and he was appropriately happy and proud of me. He was by then out of the company and he'd been doing well trying to be more of a person. He brought me something from Jessica, gift-wrapped; it was a tiny miniature book with a glittery _E _on top. She was cute. Russell and his wife Sylvia were the last to arrive and it was good to see them.

After that, Bill made a little speech and everybody clapped – I had to sign a few more random copies and we could finally go home. Sookie drove while I sat back, blinking all the champagne away and trying to relax.

"You did well tonight," Sookie giggled patting my thigh.

"What do you mean?" I rolled my head towards her.

"Just… that you handled it well… being the center of attention," she grinned at me.

"Ah…" I looked away. Yes, I hated that. "It's just one night, right?"

"Yes baby, of course!" Sookie chuckled.

"Well it was only because you were there…" I said smoothly, taking her hand and kissing it.

Sookie rolled her eyes at me but blushed at the same time. I still loved making her blush.

"If we didn't have to wake up early tomorrow for all that driving… I was going to make you the center of attention a little while longer…" she said in her own sexy voice, eyeing me lecherously.

I was suddenly feeling more awake. "What? Why can't we _still_ do that?"

Sookie giggled and then grew silent and mysterious. She reached beside her and threw something on my lap. I looked down at another copy of my book, puzzled.

"You sign that for me and we will!" she teased.

I snorted and picked it up. "I'll sign anything you want, sweetheart."

We did drive to New Orleans the next day to meet Michelle. She was a tiny little thing and very cute. Amy was still pretty tired-looking – but she said it was all worth it. Jason was just dumb-struck, I guess. I'd never seen him so simultaneously happy and scared. Lukas was curious about his little cousin – he was used to bigger babies, like Gracie. We hung out for as long as we could before we drove back, but I could see Sookie wanted to stay longer and enjoy her niece.

Zoe had to say goodbye just before Christmas – and we bought her a wedding gift to go along with it. We got to meet _Zeke_ when he came to pick her up and we wished them good luck. Sookie had quit WVN by then, so it was fine – she just had been taking advantage of Zoe so she could run around and do stuff she needed to do for the move. Now she just had to take Lukas with her but according to her, he loved driving around with her. He did like cars – boys – my boy.

That same week was my last week at the hospital, and there was another little party and hugs and happy wishes and all that. We left later in the evening for an extended party of four with Chow and Crystal as they were travelling North to see Crystal's family on Christmas.

"So here's to the holidays!" Chow raised his glass, his cheeks red and his eyes puffy. That must have been his third toast of the night. "And to Crystal's family who will totally love me!"

We raised our glasses indulging him and Crystal patted his cheek teasingly while she drained her glass.

"Nervous about meeting the parents, Chow-Chow?" Sookie teased.

"Moms love me!" Chow slurred.

"No they don't," I deadpanned and the girls laughed while Chow looked contemplative.

"You're going to be fine, sweetie!" Crystal rubbed his shoulder. "I have been preparing my folks _for months_ for the experience it is to meet you," she winked.

"You're a doll!" Chow slurred at her.

"And you're _so _not driving tonight!" Sookie told him while Crystal giggled.

Sookie leaned over to me, grasping my hand under the table. "Remember when I took you to meet Gran?"

I smiled. "Oh yes, it was really interesting."

"Were you scared you were dating a redneck?" Sookie snorted cutely, leaning on my shoulder with her arm.

"No, of course I wasn't!" I nudged her back and dove to kiss her neck.

"How about when you met my brother?" she giggled.

"Ok… _then_ I was a little worried," I admitted and Sookie poked me on the ribs. "But… I quickly forgot it later in the evening," I waggled my eyebrows at her, hoping she knew what I was referring to.

Sookie blushed and pulled away in mock-outrage before she hid her grin into her glass of wine.

"I guess I'm driving tonight then?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Why do you think I ordered water?" she winked at me.

"I thought it was for you."

"Nope!"

"That's it, if anyone's getting shit-faced tonight it's gonna be Sookie and me!" Chow cut in. "Right girlfriend?"

"Right Chow-Chow!" Sookie raised her glass to make her own toast. "To drinking!"

"Hear hear!" Chow clinked his glass with hers so noisily I was surprised it didn't break.

Crystal and I stuck to water from then on and later the four of us were heading to the parking lot.

"Jeez I can't believe I won't see you at work anymore, Doc!" Crystal said patting my arm. "I'm going to miss you!"

"I'll miss you too Crys!" I gave her an one armed hug. "I'll miss all your gossip!"

"I don't gossip!" Crystal shrieked in mock-outrage.

"Yeah you do babe…" Chow said as he hugged her to his side. "I know more about that hospital than I know about my guilty-pleasure afternoon soap!"

"I knew it!" Sookie beamed.

We got to our cars and it was time to say goodbye. We wouldn't see each other for a while as we would be moving before they were back from their trip.

"You be good Chow-Chow!" Sookie said as she hugged him. "Try not to embarrass Crystal too much."

"I'll try." Chow hugged her back. "I'm going to miss you Sookie Wookie. And your cooking."

"We'll see you as soon as we have everything fixed and we can start inviting people over," Sookie promised him. "With lots of food!"

"I finally move to Shreveport permanently and you move out!" Chow told me. "I'm taking this personally, bro."

"I'm not that far away."

We did the manly bro-hug as well as we could and then I hugged Crystal again. Sookie and Crystal hugged and we all got into our cars.

"Did I tell you how happy I am Helen's hosting Christmas tomorrow and not us?" Sookie snorted as she tried to fix her seat belt.

"Yep, several times," I teased her. "Need any help?"

"No! I'm not drunk, I' m just happy!" she said as she finally fixed it. "Let's go home."

I wound up carrying her into the apartment anyway, just because she asked me to and we ran into a surprised Tara on the couch. She raised her eyebrow at us.

"She OK?"

"Hey Tara!" Sookie grinned at her. "Did Luke behave OK?" she asked as I put her back down.

"As usual. Did you guys have fun?"

"Yep."

"I'll go get Gracie and go home then!"

We checked in on Luke while Tara picked up Grace from the other side of the crib and then we bid her goodnight. Luke didn't even move, not that we expected him too – Luke could sleep through anything.

I went to get the shower running while Sookie ran to the kitchen to down a couple glasses of water so she would _feel less silly_ – her words not mine. She joined me a couple minutes later, clinging to my back and pressing her cheek to me.

"I love you," she said.

"I know," I reached behind me to reach her arm and then I pulled her to stand in front of me, directly under the spray of water. "Hey."

She grinned at me as she threw her head back to allow the water to wet her hair. I took advantage of it and kissed her full lips – she still tasted mostly of wine. She was suddenly looking up at me conflicted.

"What's wrong?" I shook her and she wrapped her arms around me. "Spill."

"You're not sad about it are you?" she asked me tentatively. "Quitting Brigant and everything… I'm always afraid you're only doing all this to humor me."

"Stop that…" I told her, poking her pouty lip. "I want this too, I've told you."

"But it's such a big change!" she said.

"Doesn't make it bad," I said and I nuzzled her neck, trying to make her forget about it.

"But the isolation factor still bothers you…" she said.

I pulled away to look into her eyes. "It does yeah." I said honestly. "That's why we're making all those changes, to make it safer. For my peace of mind."

We'd installed a new security system and a fire alarm system – and we were definitely looking into some sort of fencing.

"OK… just making sure," she said with a smile.

I smiled back and bent down to kiss her. "It's just been a full year and an especially busy three months… but I swear I'm as excited about this as you."

Sookie nodded and threw her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry. It's just a girly thing to be so giggly and bouncy and happy about things. Boys are so much more stoic. _You _certainly are, mister. It keeps me guessing."

"How can I reassure you?" I asked her nuzzling her, hoping she just asked me to maul her in the shower.

"Foot rub?" she teased me, but she was already giggling.

"I'll show you a foot rub!" I growled as I lifted her by her thighs and pressed her back to the tile wall.

Sookie squealed and wrapped her legs around me. She was higher up than me now and she looked down into my eyes lovingly before she bent down to kiss me.

"Well… this is good too…" she whispered, biting into my lower lip.

I kissed her fully, her tongue tasted of wine and I moaned into her mouth. After a lot more hot kissing I finally entered her, and we moaned together. Sookie closed her eyes and threw her head back – she looked beautiful like this. I made it slow so I could watch her unravel – my favorite sight.

**xxxxxxx**

**SPOV**

Christmas at Helen's was really good. It wasn't even weird having Jim and Miriam added into the mix – they both felt like family by then. Lukas had a lot of people to spoil him and he got so many presents we'd have a hard time carrying everything into the car ourselves. We'd dropped by Axel's apartment earlier – Jessica was with him though her mother would be dropping by to pick her up later. Fortunately we did not run into her. Jessica looked happy to see us and she was noticeably a lot less clingy with her brother and a lot more interested in _daddy_. He had clearly stepped up – or maybe her mother had stopped filling her head with Eric – who knows?

I felt a bit bad for Axel, once we left, and then once Jessica's mother came for her, he would be all alone. I know it can be said he made his own bed, but it's still sad. Helen asked me later in a moment we were alone, how he was doing and I realized they must be rarely speaking now. I told her I thought he was lonely and Helen actually sighed, but not in a way that looked as though she missed him. I think she felt sorry for him. I hoped one day Axel would allow himself to be happy again, find a girlfriend, a less crazy one, and just be happy. I think a lot of his misery was brought on by guilt and not knowing how to deal with it. But he at least had Jessica now. Apparently he got to spend a lot of time with her since he'd retired and her mother had only just started working.

Miriam and Pam looked like they'd really gotten pretty serious. It was the first time since I'd met Pam where she was in a lasting relationship. They were still living together and looked pretty comfortable with each other. Jim was just perfection all over the place and I couldn't be happier for Helen. I think even Eric warmed up to him a bit more once he got over his shock.

I called Jason and Amy to wish them a Merry Christmas and ask how Michelle was doing. It felt good to talk to them. But when I hung up, I suddenly started missing Gran terribly. This was my first Christmas without her – the first of many. It made me a bit sad. So I stole into a corner and sniffled a bit.

It wasn't long before Eric found me out on the chilly balcony and enveloped me in his warm embrace, kissing the top of my head. I couldn't speak because I could feel the unshed tears clogging my throat.

"Thinking of Gran?" he asked knowingly.

I nodded and he tightened his arms around me and sighed. I just let him hold me for a while we didn't talk. We just stood there, listening to the talking and laughter going on inside. After a while, Lukas's sudden happy squeal tore through all the other sounds and we both laughed, moving a little in the cold. I strained my ears to figure out what was going on. Pam was tickling him and taunting him – then Helen seemed to be coaxing him into crawling towards her for a reward. He squealed again when Helen picked him up and blew raspberries into his tummy. We laughed again and Eric rubbed my arms up and down.

"You ready to go back inside?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah… yeah I am."

I turned around and he grasped my hand before leading the way back inside. Pam and Miriam looked up at us and smiled. Helen was now making _nom nom_ sounds against Lukas' tummy, making him giggle more.

"Oh! Look who's over there!" Helen said when she saw us. "Look baby! It's mommy and daddy!"

Lukas giggled at us, flexing his little hands towards us. I couldn't resist it, I strode over to Helen and she promptly allowed me to take him. I cuddled him to me and kissed his little cheek noisily. The little guy grinned at me and palmed my chin making sounds that were probably the beginnings of him trying to communicate, and it was adorable. My heart swelled, and all the hurt from minutes earlier was gone. All I could think of was that Gran would be so proud of him – but I wasn't sad anymore. I looked over my shoulder and Eric was watching us with what I could only describe as love. I went over to him and hugged him, sandwiching Luke between us the way he liked it and just grinning when he giggled predictably.

"Oh look at that!" Helen said from across the room. "I need a picture of that! Jim get the camera!"

That picture is now on the mantelpiece at the farmhouse – it is our favorite. We moved in after the New Year – which we spent in New Orleans with Jason, Amy and baby Michelle.

The house is almost the way we wanted it to be by now. Eric still insists on the fence – which I think is a bit excessive, but I'm probably thinking like a 1980s kid and not a 2014 mom – so I am glad he is thinking like that, I suppose. I grew up in that house quite fearlessly I might add – but it's different now. The paint job and the new furniture did the trick and it looks like a brand new house now, but it still reminds me of Gran. I kept the kitchen pretty much the way she'd kept it, but with new stuff.

We're slowly training Lukas to walk and he is eager! I think having so much space to explore is a huge incentive. He has so much crazy blonde hair on his head now it's not even funny – but I don't wanna cut it yet. He looks like a cool baby – maybe he'll grow up to be a rock star!

Getting used to being home all the time has been interesting, but fun - and Lukas is reaping the benefits. I think Eric is too. Rebecca has been encouraging me to write on my free time – so I'm trying to do that. I still don't know what I'll do when I'm ready to leave the house again, but it's fun to practice.

Next week everyone we love is coming down for Lukas' one year birthday and I'm so excited. But I've been running like crazy to get everything for the party. A few weeks driving around Bon Temps has taught me this town is in many ways completely different from what it was when I grew up here, but in a good way. I can actually find what I need in stores now.

It's a Saturday so I left Eric and Lukas home and drove to town for some last ingredients I'll need for the birthday cake. It's actually a very good day for late January so when I pulled up into the driveway I wasn't surprised to see Eric hanging out on the porch swing with a book. Lukas is cuddled up to him taking an afternoon nap. I swear to you the Sleeping Beauty's got nothing on our kid.

"Need help?" Eric called out from the swing as I got off the car.

"Nope! Don't move him, he's too cute!" I told him as I walked over to the open car trunk.

Eric nodded in agreement, peering down at Luke. I got the two paper bags I needed and closed the car trunk. I climbed the porch steps, leaned over to kiss my husband and walked past him into the kitchen.

I was putting things away when I heard the screen door open and close. Eric walked in carrying Luke in his arms. He didn't seem to have been bothered by any noise or movement. Eric winked at me as he walked across the kitchen, probably to go upstairs and put Luke in his crib.

I sat down to check my shopping list. Fortunately I hadn't forgotten anything. I get up to get some water from the fridge and that's when Eric comes back.

"Did you get the milk?" he asked.

"Of course I got the milk!"

"Chips?"

"I got you your chips…"

"Good girl." He comes up behind me and kissed my neck, wrapping his arms around me. "I missed you, you took too long."

"I did not!" I squealed back. "You're getting too clingy Eric Northman."

"You've spoiled me," he said tugging at my earlobe.

"Maybe I have," I grinned turning around to cling around his neck and give him a proper kiss. "That better?"

"Much better," he whispered with his eyes closed before dipping down to pepper small sweet kisses all over my face.

I'm giggling; his stubble is a bit ticklish. We kissed and groped playfully for a bit when suddenly a very strange yipping sound halted me.

"What the…?" I pulled back with a laugh.

"Mmm?" Eric asked innocently before angling for my neck.

There was another yip and what sounded like whining.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Eric asked, but now he was grinning silly.

"Eric, what did you do?" I said pushing away.

"Whatever do you mean?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and the next time I heard the yipping and the whining I knew where the sound was coming from. I walked past the screen door and onto the porch. I peered around the swing and saw a large cardboard box – something was scuttling noisily in there. I tip toed close to it and gasped.

Inside, on top of a plush blue blanket was the cutest, tiniest puppy dog. Scrambling to try and get out. When he saw me he started whining louder and wagging his little tail frantically.

"Oh my God!" I gasped, dropping to my knees instantly and reaching out to rescue the little thing. "Aren't you the _cutest_ thing?" I lifted him close to my face. The little thing started licking my nose immediately and my heart melted a little.

"He's a two month old Golden Retriever," Eric said behind me. "Andy Bellefleur brought him over while you were away. Do you like him?"

I looked over my shoulder, cuddling the skittish thing to my chest. "What did… When…?"

Eric grinned at me and shrugged, squatting next to me to pet the little puppy too. "I was driving by this pet shop and I saw the whole litter. I was talking to Andy about the best kinds of dogs around kids. He said this was a good breed. We have a large house and lots of yard space. It seemed a waste to _not_ have a dog."

"You're right it _is_ a waste!" I laughed trying to dodge the little guy's happy tongue. "He's adorable! Has Lukas seen him?"

"Yes, he was crazy about him – chasing him around is what made him so sleepy I guess."

I giggled, imagining the scene. "I can't believe you did this!"

"Now all we're missing is the fence," he winked at me.

"We'll get the fence!" I teased him. "A house, a kid and a dog…sounds perfect!"

"I thought so…" Eric said, absent mindedly stroking the puppy's tummy as it lay on my legs wiggling like a maniac. "Are you happy?" he asked me, now stroking my arm with the back of his hand.

"Oh, Eric, you know I am!" I said, pulling him down for a kiss. "But thank you for the puppy!" I grinned. "What shall we call him?"

Eric moved to sit down cross legged in front of me so we could both play with the puppy.

"_Buster_?" he started teasing.

"Heathcliff," I snapped back.

"Napoleon."

"Henry VIII."

"Chuckles."

"Roosevelt?"

"Crumpet…"

"Barkowitz…"

***~*The END*~***

**A/N:** So there we have it. This is the end of the story. I hope you guys enjoyed it! A drama free last chapter – not to say there will never be any drama again but well the point is they're happy! So yay for them! I gave them a puppy because… Having a puppy and a baby at the same time can be challenging – so they'll have lots of fun going crazy watching over those two.

Thank you for all your support and love, it's been fun. At times it was both touching and scary how engrossed people were with these characters and it's been a learning experience for me. Thank you all.

To those hanging on to _Offshore:_ don't worry. I haven't abandoned that. I only just _really_ wanted to finish this one before Christmas. I'll get back to the 1920s in a bit.

Until next time!


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